


A Million Reasons Why

by BeingLolaStar



Series: The Grey Matter Series [1]
Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2013-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:31:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 141,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeingLolaStar/pseuds/BeingLolaStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So that's Season One posted. It took me far longer than I wanted it to to get this all up here. Here's to hoping that I can get caught up with posting Part Two How Bright Their Frail Deeds and have myself caught up everywhere.</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Story Info:**

The following story features a main pairing of Daryl/OC with multiple side pairings as appropriate. The OC in this story, Grace Carter, is my own creation and my attempt at playing with the show a little bit. In order to do this, and to hopefully do the characters justice. I have created a back story for Grace and Daryl spanning the eleven years since they officially met. Their back story is told in flashbacks. In the present Grace is 29 and Daryl is 38.

Also posted on ff.net and tumblr. 

Part One “A Million Reasons Why” begins on July 27th present day, fifty days before Rick Grimes arrives at camp. The story covers preshow and S1.

Part Two “How Bright Their Frail Deeds” will begin directly afterwards, accounting for the show’s two day jump between the end of S1 and the beginning of S2.

I'm not a big fan of ratings because I feel they create boundaries that should personally be set by individual readers. For convenience sake, it has been rated M but I personally believe that it is up to the individual to choose what they are comfortable with reading. As such, I have provided a warnings list to make sure this story is appropriate for you. If you think there is something I missed or that I should add, please feel free to message me.

**Warnings:**

If it's on the show, it's probably going to make an appearance here.

“Swear Words”, Racism, Sexism, Sexual Scenes, Alcohol Use, Drug Use (illegal and prescription), Assault, Violence, Gore, Zombies/Walkers, Horror, Mentions of Abuse (past and present), Character Death, Death in General

 **Trigger Warnings:**   
(Please message me if you believe any other warnings should be added to this list).

The following trigger warning may contain spoilers.

-Mentions of abuse (past and present)  
-Assult (male character on female character)  
-Miscarriage  
-Minor mentions of suicide


	2. Chapter One

Things were getting frightening. Everywhere you looked, there were reports of people going crazy and then attacking other people. There didn’t look to be any good news either. Grace Carter hadn’t been working more than forty-five minutes when she realized that this wasn’t going to be her usual shift. Barely anyone was in William’s Bar and Pub, which was strange for a Friday night. On a typical night, she could expect to serve not only several hundred or so drinks, but also to ward off at least a half dozen grabbing hands from overly eager patrons. Tonight though, they had barely fifteen people, most of them regulars and very quiet, which was probably a good thing because only three of the usual four waitresses had shown up.

“Table eight wants another pitcher of Guinness.” Becky slumped against the counter, bored and disinterested in what was going on. “Where’s the boyfriend tonight?” She turned to Grace, who was stacking the tray of clean glasses on the shelf behind the bar.

“Not my boyfriend, and I’m not his keeper.” She slid a pitcher off the shelf and turned on the tap, beer flowing freely into it and frothing at the top. “There.” She passed the pitcher over.

“I think thou doth protest too much.” Becky smiled and walked off with the pitcher.

“You’re a pain in my ass!” Grace called after her.

Becky wiggled her bum under her apron strings. “You love my ass,” she shouted behind her.

“Of course I do,” Grace snipped sarcastically as she turned back to the glasses and resumed reorganizing them. There was little else to do tonight. When Becky returned, she lifted the bin of dirty glasses and headed through the doors to the kitchen where the dishwasher was. She came back just a few minutes later with a new case of beers for the fridge.

“So where is Daryl tonight then?”

Grace gave her an evil look. “Like I said, I’m not his keeper.”

“But you do know where he is.”

“Yeah,” she answered reluctantly. “Not any of your business though is it?”

“Fine, we’ll change the subject.” Becky leaned across the counter. “Did you skip your shift at the hospital this morning because you two slept in?”

Grace rolled her eyes. “I was sick this morning.”

“Is that your story?”

“Tell you the truth, I think I was hung-over. Probably from mixing drinks, because I woke up all headachy and just felt wrong. Even threw up. Knew I shouldn’t have let you talk me into shots.”

“When did you become a bitch drinker?” The bottle blonde teased, giggling.

“About the same time we became grown ups and should have stopped drinking on work nights.” She laughed with her friend. “We’re never going to grow up, are we?”

“Not if I can help it!”

“I think if I could have stayed twenty-one forever, I would have. Twenty-one was a good age.”

“Only because of how you rung that milestone in.”

The door flew open to the bar and the two girls spun around. There in the doorway was the aforementioned Daryl, wide-eyed and looking a little crazy. He stomped over to the counter, his work boots clunking on the wooden floor. “Speak of the devil.” Becky turned to him happily. “Hey Dixon! Where have you been all night?”

“Around.” Daryl grunted and plunked himself down on a stool next to the counter. “Mind getting me an order of fries?”

“You want some time alone with… OUCH!” Becky looked at her friend and fellow waitress. “I mean, coming right up!” Her voice was faux-cheerful, but she turned toward the kitchen, giving them a look that said, ‘you’re explaining this when I get back.’ Becky limped away, favoring the foot Grace had just put her heel into.

The second the door was closed, Daryl leaned over the counter. “You need to come with me.”

“Daryl, I’m working. Can’t this wait?”

“Carter, do you trust me?” He grabbed the hand Grace was using to wipe down the counter.

She froze and stared at him. “What has gotten into you?” She stage whispered, looking to make sure no one else had seen. Everyone else in the bar was minding their own business.

“Grace,” he begged, finally calling her by her given name. “Have I ever led you wrong? Have I ever done anything wrong by you?”

“No.” She pulled her hand back and rubbed her wrist. “Are you okay?”

“Please,” he pleaded. “Just come with me now. Walk away and you won’t regret it.”

“It’s bad,” she said seriously, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Would I do this to you if it weren’t?”

“No.” She was already untying her apron strings and dropping the fabric onto the counter. He held her stare as she walked to the half door in the counter and unlatched it. When she was within reach, he grabbed her and steered her toward the door. “Becky is going to be pissed,” Grace said softly.

“She’ll live,” Daryl grunted.

No one even glanced up as they exited William’s through the front door. The parking lot was empty save for a few cars. Daryl’s truck was parked in the handicapped spot right beside the entrance. Usually she would have lectured him, but the spot never got used, and he seemed preoccupied, so she just kept her mouth shut. The shiny blue pickup had a tarp over the back, covering enough stuff to seriously confuse her. Not even parked was a black motorcycle, which sat idling with the driver balancing on the heels of his boots.

“She coming?” Merle Dixon snarled.

“None of your goddamn business,” Daryl snapped back. He pushed Grace toward the cab of the truck, stopping to open the door for her. She climbed up and he slammed it behind her unceremoniously.

“We’re stoppin’ at her place first.”

“She’s got fifteen minutes,” his brother grunted slamming his fist against the bike and revving the engine. Daryl nodded and hurried to his side of the truck. He practically threw himself into the truck. Turning the key without bothering to do up his seat belt, Daryl’s truck roared to life. “You gotta hurry when we get there.” He shifted into gear and began to roll backward. Merle lifted his legs and let the bike whir to life, whizzing off into the night.

“Where are we going?” She wanted to know.

“Pack light, but pack for a long time. Something a little warmer for nights. Something that you don’t mind working in. Lots of socks.”

“You don’t know where we’re going, do you?”

He turned to her sadly. “Away, far away. As far as we can get from people.”

“They here?”

“Merle is sure they had a case at General. I was just glad you weren’t workin’ there tonight. They’re closin’ down the roads as we speak. We’re gonna take the loggin’ road out before they think of it.”

“Then where?”

“Just pack for anything.” He set his eyes back on the road and didn’t say anymore. Grace clenched her hands into fists, nails biting into her palms.

They pulled into her driveway just as her phone was buzzing to life. “Don’t tell her,” Daryl said, knowing that it was Becky having discovered their escape. “She could rat us out.”

“I’m not stupid.” Grace breathed. On the phone she typed, ‘ _I love you_ ’, and sent the message before shutting it off. “Go get the stuff out of the pantry. There should be boxes beside the recycle in the garage.” Daryl nodded.

Grace hurried to unlock the door and raced to her bedroom. She grabbed a suitcase from the hall closet on her way by and threw it onto her bed. She pulled back the zipper and opened her closet. Then she froze. What did you take when you were leaving civilization? She grabbed an armload of t-shirts and folded them as tightly as possible. Then came jeans and a few pairs of sweatpants. The dresser was pulled open and out came t-shirts, both short and long sleeved, several tank tops, and some pajamas. She opened the top drawer, pulled handfuls of socks and underwear and slammed them into the suitcase. On top she threw several bras from another drawer.

In the kitchen, she could hear the clanging of cans as Daryl emptied the pantry of non-perishable goods. The shaking of boxed pasta followed. He wasn’t being gentle with the food. The door slammed behind him, and she resumed her packing, knowing she didn’t have much time left. Before she closed the suitcase, she pulled open her night stand and took out the box of trinkets. Inside a jewelry box that was under some papers in the shoe box, she pulled out her spare ID and a roll of bills. Her safety cash. She slid them into the top pouch of the suitcase and closed the drawer. On top of her clothes, she put a picture that she had always kept beside her bed: her and her mum from her college graduation. She was pulling the zipper closed when Daryl stuck his head in the door.

“You about ready?”

“Get the spare blankets out of the hall closet.”

“Sure.” He turned to complete the task before stopping and turning back. “Come here,” he said softly. Grace pushed herself into his open arms, holding his embrace as tightly as she could. Softly, Daryl tipped her chin up and kissed her firmly. “It’ll be okay. We’ve got this. Merle’s got a plan, and I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you.” He pressed his dry lips to hers again quickly before pulling back and turning to get the extra bedding. “Better not make him wait any longer though. I don’t want him pissed off at us.”

“He’s always pissed off,” Grace reminded Daryl and he smiled grimly.

“Well, let’s not make it worse then.”

Grace returned to her suitcase and hauled it off the bed. She carried it through the house and checked the back door. In the driveway, Merle had turned his bike around and was facing away from the house, loaded shotgun on his hip as he leaned against the bike.

“You got yer shit together? Hurry up, little bitch. Yer wasting time,” he grumbled. She ignored him and opened the truck, putting her suitcase in the backseat. She hurried back into the house to slam toiletries into another, much smaller, bag. Biting her lip, she opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out the box of condoms she kept there for when Daryl was feeling affectionate. They weren’t dating per say, but they weren’t sleeping with other people either. It had been that way for years. Half the time these days she felt like they were dating. He was quite against the boyfriend/girlfriend thing though, and she didn’t mind keeping it that way. Really it shouldn’t have been anyone else’s business. She had known him for almost fourteen years, and they had never classified their relationship as more than friends. Well, since her mother’s death, it had actually been a sort of exclusive friends with benefits. No titles though. No talking of the future. Those were the rules.

Daryl was shy, reluctant to show any sort of affection, especially in public. Did she truly love him? It was possible. Did he love her? Probably in his own way. He had come to get her before fleeing town after all. That had to mean something.

He came up behind her quietly, reaching around her to open the medicine cabinet and pull out both her toothbrush and the spare one he kept in there, along with their toothpaste. With his front pressing against her back and his arms on either side of her, she felt much more comfortable in this situation than she should have. Here she was about to set off for an unknown location in the middle of the night with her not-boyfriend and his psychotic brother in order to avoid the unknown illness that was rapidly infecting the population and leaving civilization in ruins.

“Anything else?”

Grace looked around, the drawers were open and partially empty. She had already packed her first aid kit, shower things, handfuls of washcloths and some spare towels. “Birth control.” She shrugged and he opened the other side of the cabinet, flinching just a little bit. He grabbed the pink plastic case and assorted painkillers, cough syrups and allergy medications alongside it, without meeting her eyes. He had never been good when it came to discussing the serious stuff, though they had never not used some form of protection. He’d known for years that she was on the pill.

“Cond…” He started and she interrupted him.

“Got them.”

He grunted in response. “Let’s go then.”

“Yeah,” she agreed and watched as he slung the bag over his shoulder and followed him out of the bathroom.

Merle had lit a cigarette when they got out to the truck. He stepped on the butt and threw a leg over his bike. “You two finish yer snugglefest? We’ve gotta get our fucking asses out of here, you pussies. Don’t want to get trapped behind roadblocks.”

“Fuck off, Merle.” Daryl attempted to quiet his brother and the other man just chuckled, rocking back and forth on the bike. Grace helped herself into the car. Not bothering to buckle her seat belt, but locking the door behind her for her own peace of mind, Grace shuffled her things around in the truck cab. She had most of the things in the back seat by the time Daryl finished double checking the tarp and let himself in. He started the engine and followed behind Merle as the bike once again pulled onto the main road.

They drove in silence, without even the radio for company, and the lights dimmed as much as possible to not attract attention. When they managed to hit the old logging road that circled around the town to the main highway without any interference, Daryl relaxed a little bit. At least enough at least to turn on the radio, though it was barely loud enough to hear.

Grace spoke first to break the tension. “I’m not angry.” She wanted him to know.

“You aren’t?” Daryl looked at her as if that was exactly what he needed to hear, but didn’t want to believe it. “Becky is gonna be pissed at you.”

“I don’t care about what Becky thinks. This is going to keep us safe?”

He was quiet for a minute and turned away, keeping his eyes firmly straight ahead. The low strains of the latest Script song playing over the airwaves filled the cab. “I hope so.” He nodded.

“Then I’m not mad.” Her voice caught in her throat and she choked back on her tears.

Barely looking at her, he took one white knuckled hand off the steering wheel and lifted his arm. She slid under the raised arm, burying herself into his side and pressing her face into his flannel shirt. Daryl sighed and rested his chin on top of her head. “It’ll be okay,” he mumbled into her hair, kissing at the crown of her head lightly. “It’ll be okay. I promise. Ain’t gonna let nothing happen to you. I got this covered.”

She let go then, finally allowing her tears to flow freely, wetting his shirt and causing her to lose her breath. On the road ahead of them, the motorcycle bumped along in their headlights, and the forest began to grow thicker around the road. Inside, Grace lost herself in the smell of Daryl - oil, leather smoke, sawdust, the little bit of cologne or whatever it was he wore - and the quiet melodies on the radio.

The Dixon family hunting camp had been in the family for four generations and it was starting to show it. Daryl had tried his best to keep it up to working standards, adding a small generator and working fridge just a few years earlier. The water was pumped up straight from the lake, cold and crisp. This was to be their final destination.

Grace had been there once before, never with Merle. There was little appealing about Daryl’s brother other than a good shot and the ability to get himself out of tight situations. He was as close to slime of the earth as you could get still in a solid form. Addict, dealer, alcoholic, racist, sexist. There were few describing terms that made him worth taking along. He was family though and Grace knew that. Daryl wouldn’t leave him behind when it came to something like this. At least he wasn’t in the truck with them.

The trip itself took just forty-five minutes, but most of that was on bumpy, unkempt dirt roads. No one would think to look for them all the way out here. They would have more pressing issues to deal with. Grace’s tears were long dried on her cheeks by the time they pulled into the driveway. Still, when they pulled up in front of the camp, Daryl patted at her awkwardly and said he’d go deal with Merle so she could get herself into sorts. In private he might be okay dealing with a crying girl, but in front of his brother, he would refuse to even look at her too long, let alone comfort her. Dixon men did not do public affection.

She sat in the truck for a just a few seconds before reaching down to the box of Kleenex that Daryl kept on the floor of the truck. She wet a few pieces with water from an old half-filled water bottle stuck in the door, and rubbed them over her face, trying to rid herself of the sticky salt dried on her cheeks. Merle was going to be aggressive with her, and she didn’t need to give him any more ammunition than he already had. Daryl walked back over to the truck after talking to his brother. Merle was starting to unload the case on the back of his bike and was paying no attention to the other two.

Daryl tapped on the door and then popped it open. “You good?”

“Yeah,” she said, straightening herself out. “I’ll help unload the truck.”

“You don’t need to…”

“No, really.” She smirked, spinning her legs toward the door and pushing against Daryl subtly. “The last thing I need is Merle on my case about what a lazy bitch I am. I’ll help.”

Just then Merle hollered, “The lazy whore gonna get her ass out a’ that truck and help, or would her highness just like to watch the lowly workmen do their job?”

 

Grace gave Daryl a pointed look and he broke eye contact, ashamed. Daryl allowed her to pass, and she grabbed her suitcase out of the back of the truck and began hauling it toward the house. “Fuck you, Merle,” she sneered on the way past.

“Oh, so the slut speaks.”

She ignored him and kept moving toward the main building. The hazardous porch gave her trouble with the wheels of her suitcase, and she fought to get it inside. The front door wasn’t locked when she got there, and she twisted the knob to let herself inside.

Daryl had first brought her here seven years earlier for her twenty-first birthday. It was the beginning of August, and she had already been frustrated with being home from university for the summer. Though she insisted that she didn’t want to do anything, several of her girlfriends from high school had planned a small get together at the bar. Too much attention had always made Grace uncomfortable and that, combined with her over the top alcohol consumption, drove her out the back door to sit on the picnic table used for staff breaks. Daryl, still mostly sober, had spotted her escape and followed her.

_“You don’t look so happy, birthday girl.” He nudged her arm when he sat down beside her and pulled a pack of smokes out of his shirt pocket._

_“I barely know any of these people anymore. I don’t give a shit about them. This has been the longest summer of my life. I hate this town”_

_“It ain’t so bad.” He shrugged, flicking his lighter and holding it to the end of the long cylinder. He turned his head away from her and blew smoke into the night._

_“It has its bright spots.” She gave him a quick crooked grin before frowning. “I’m just so… fed up!” Grace smacked the table with an open palm to emphasize her point. “I’ve never done anything wrong or dangerous. I want to do something wild.”_

_“Yer drunk and sitting out in the back alley behind a bar with an old man,” he offered._

_“You aren’t that old.”_

_“Older than you.” He shrugged. “Anyway, yer not the type to go around doing wild things. Just ain’t you.”_

_“Well, I want it to be. I just want to run away for a weekend. Take off and not tell anyone where I’m going. Well,” she paused to think of it. “Maybe mom, so she doesn’t send the cops after me.”_

_“So do it.”_

_“I don’t have anywhere to go. I’m broke from school, and there’s nowhere I can go without spending my summer wages. It’s not going to happen.”_

_They sat in silence for a while, Daryl smoking and Grace drinking out of the beer she smuggled out under her shirt. He stood up suddenly, the end of his cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “Wanna come up to the camp with me?”_

_“Are you drunk?” She asked offhandedly, not taking him seriously._

_“No, I’m drivin’ you home. You said you wanted to run away for a while. You ain’t workin’ for the next couple of days, are you? Come with me up to the camp.”_

_“Seriously?”_

_“Call your mom. We’ll go get your shit from home and pick up stuff at the twenty-four hour on our way out of town.”_

_“Yeah!” A little drunk and more that a little eager, she called her mom and lied about the girls inviting her out for a couple of days, saying she would be home to pick up a few things. Daryl drove her home and parked down the street so he wouldn’t be seen. Letting herself in the back door, Grace tiptoed in. She packed quickly, praying that her mom wouldn’t look out the window to see Daryl’s truck. Then she ran out the back door, as quietly as possible, since her mom had fallen back asleep on the couch. Still in her dress shirt, they ransacked the twenty-four hour grocery store, shocking the late night cashier. When they finally got to the cabin though, all they wanted to do was unpack and sit on the back lawn._

_Daryl built a campfire and cracked open a case of beer._

_“Cheers,” he said, offering her one._

_“Finally going to drink with me?” Grace laughed. “Took you long enough.”_

_“Well, if you didn’t plan on runnin’ away in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t have to be designated driver,” he mumbled under his breath._

_They watched the fire and chatted in the dark, drinking down the beers until both of them were content._

_Tired and more than a little buzzed, Grace dropped down onto the grass to stare up at the stars. “I love stars,” she sighed._

_“Yer losin’ it.” He scuffed his boot into the dirt around the campfire, squashing an escaping ember._

_“Come lay with me.”_

_The grass was wet and he protested, but even while arguing against it, Daryl flopped down on his back under the navy blue night. One hand tucked under his head, they finished off the last of their bottles. Daryl pointed out constellation after constellation, while Grace filled in the stories behind them from what she remembered from her Mythology class first year of university. Finally, they fell quiet and she began to shiver in the damp as the night cooled off and the fire died. Snuggling up against a reluctant Daryl for body heat, she sighed._

_Between them, her phone buzzed insistently. Daryl growled. “Get that already.”_

_“It’s Amber. She’s mad I left.”_

_“Tell her to fuck off then,” he mumbled sleepily. She fumbled around in her pocket, brushing up against Daryl and wiggling around. “Would you stop fuckin’ movin’?” he grunted. Finally, he reached down and covered her hand with his. With determined fingers, he slid his own hand into her pocket, shifting them even closer. Then the phone was removed and he held it lazily over his head._

_“Hey!” She protested. “Give it back.”_

_He slid the phone open and awkwardly tried to respond to Amber’s anxious texts. “Fuck off. Havin’ a party for two with a sexy, UMPH!”_

_Grace launched herself on top of him and tried to wrestle the phone away. “It’s mine, gimme!”_

_“Nope,” he laughed. “Not gonna happen.”_

_They struggled for a couple of minutes, laughing and play-tussling, until Grace wormed her way up Daryl’s body and stretched her arm up over his head to try to reach the phone he was holding out of her reach. Finally, she managed to struggle her fingers under his and pry lose his grip. “Ha!” She cheered triumphantly, then looked down to find herself staring directly into Daryl’s blue eyes. “Oh,” she mumbled, blushing suddenly as she realized just what position they were in. “Hey.”_

_“Hey,” he whispered, reaching up to brush back her hair. He shifted uncomfortably as they lay there much longer than was normal to hold eye contact, neither one of them wanting to break it. Grace realized suddenly that he was trying to maneuver his hips away from hers. A slow grin of realization spread across her face and he blushed under her. His discomfort grew as her discovery hung heavy between them “Get off.” He pushed her roughly to the side and stood, adjusting himself._

_“Daryl,” she protested, struggling to her feet. Her coordination was off and it took her longer than usual._

_“I’m goin’ in,” he said kicking at a rock beside the dying fire._

_Grace chased after him as he stormed toward the house. “Stop.” He was embarrassed. She knew it and he wouldn’t admit it. Finally, she caught his arm, tugging on it so he spun to face her. “Don’t run away from me,” she insisted._

_“Don’t push this,” he grunted._

_“How long?” She wanted to know, and he broke their eye contact again. “Fine, don’t answer. I just want you to remember I’m not fifteen any more. This isn’t illegal or even wrong. This is two consenting adults just having some fun. Two friends who have had a little too much to drink. No matter the age difference. We are friends, right?” She wanted to know. He turned toward her and nodded, stiffly, unsure of where this was going. “Anyway, I said that I wanted to do something wild.” Firmly, she slid her hands up into his hair and pulled his mouth down to hers._

_“Oh yeah?” he mumbled against her mouth._

_“Yeah,” she said firmly. “You got a bed in there or is this happening on the porch?”_

_“There’s a double. Up in the loft, ain’t much but…”_

_“I just want to be horizontal and not on grass,” Grace insisted._

_“Inside then,” he panted, directing their movement with his hips. She ground back against him as their journey into the house slowed considerably with the addition of walls for support. The cabin was roughly built, made of bits and pieces over the years. The main room was a kitchen, dining, and living space combined. In the middle was a long table, surrounded by nearly a dozen mismatched chairs. The couches on the other side were worn and well-used. Watching them from the rafters were dozens of deer heads. Under any other situation, Grace may have taken the time to feel uncomfortable, but right now, she was struggling to work the buttons on Daryl’s shirt and get it off him. Trying to focus on that and slowly losing herself in the combination of chapped lips, stubble, and nipping teeth along her jaw line, she was lost._

_Getting into the loft itself involved stopping their actions long enough for Daryl to lower the trap door in the hallway to unfold the stairs. Grace whined when he first pulled away, then just wanted him to hurry up already._

_When they first met, their nine year age difference was cause for concern among Grace’s friends and family. Still, they were nothing more than friends. Very close friends. Grace often told people that Daryl was like the older brother she never had. They teased each other more than anything and Daryl looked out for her. She wasn’t sure when the teasing had shifted more to light-hearted flirting, but it had been becoming more and more a part of their relationship. A deeper sexual undercurrent had begun to run through their actions. Still, neither of them had ever acted on it until now - Daryl too shy and cautious of the age difference, Grace not wanting to destroy one of the best friendships she had. But lust and alcohol coupled to finally bring the two together._

_It was sometimes best to just let nature take its course._

_The loft had a low ceiling, and the drop down stairs were narrow, requiring them to go up one at a time. Momentarily, Daryl returned to his shy, cautious approach. It was as if the heavy petting and passionate lip work hadn’t happened just a few moments earlier._

_“So…” He rubbed the back of his head with one hand. “We don’t really gotta…”_

_Grace pushed past him toward the bed and dropped down onto it. “This is it?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Do you have anything?”_

_“Wha?” He looked at her brow furrowed. “Oh, um, I don’t got nothin’ like… well, I’m clean.”_

_She smiled and laughed. Daryl looked at her nervously. “That’s not what I meant,” she explained. “I meant like, condoms or something.”_

_“Shit.” He deflated. “No, I mean, I didn’t even think about this, you know, actually happening.”_

_“It’s fine. I took my pill this morning, so we should be good.” She looked up worried. “Unless you’re not good with that or something?” Now they were both anxious and nervous that nothing was going to happen._

_The awkward silence carried on for a few seconds until Daryl shifted his feet finally and mumbled, “You’re good with that?”_

_“I am if you are.”_

_“Let’s do this then,” he muttered and moved toward the bed. Daryl had barely taken two steps when she burst out laughing. “What?” he asked, offended._

_“This is so us.” She giggled. “Completely unprepared and then straight to the point. You make it sound like a chore.”_

_“Fuck off,” he muttered._

_“If we ever get there…” She grinned._

_Daryl tensed and then changed his mind and stalked toward the bed. “Listen here, we’re gonna do this proper and shit…”_

_“Shut up.” Grace stood and hooked her index fingers into his belt loops. She stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips against his once again. For a moment they just softly kissed, breathing getting more and more shallow until Daryl forced Grace backward onto the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, buttons be damned. Grace made a noise of protest at how long it was taking, and he crawled onto the bed, lowering his weight onto her carefully and nipping at her jaw._

_“Yer really sure?” he asked again, not stopping the hickey he was trying to create on the side of her neck._

_“I want skin,” was her answer, and he complied by working his fingers under her shirt until it caught on her armpits and balled under her chin. Daryl leaned back just enough to work the shirt over her head. It caught on her hair, and they ended up having to use all four hands to get it off. She sighed as he settled back down and worked calloused fingers into the hair they had just messed up, rubbing gently with the pads of his fingers to soothe the sore spots on her scalp where the hair had been pulled._

_“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Didn’t mean to pull so damn much.” She leaned up to catch his mouth once again._

_“Apology accepted. I knew there was a reason I didn’t want to let them put me in that thing.”_

_“Just, I haven’t done this in a while, and I ain’t too good with girl clothes to begin with and…” He babbled, tension lining his face. The gruff man looked almost fragile, and Grace didn’t want to laugh, but the whole thing really was sort of funny. Here was Daryl Dixon, who according to the rumours that ran around town, had been trying to seduce her innocent self for the past six years. And here she was in the end, feeling like she was the one taking advantage of him._

_She pushed herself up into a sitting position, forcing Daryl back onto his heels. “You’re talking too much.”_

_“Wha?”_

_“Stop talking and just get back to the sexing. Honestly, which one of us is the girl here?”_

_“Oh hell! Don’t go there woman,” he growled, a little bit angry and a little bit playful. Forcing her back onto the bed, he bit hard at the apex of her shoulder and she sighed into the action._

_“Better,” she panted. “Could do a little more though.”_

_Daryl snorted and pushed forcefully at her bra, not bothering to unclasp it. It made the material uncomfortably tight, to the point that it bit into her side, and just as she was about to protest, a hand firmly grabbed her breast and began to knead it, his thumb and index finger pinching almost hard enough to take her mind away from the pain. She struggled to reach behind her and just undo the bra herself._

_Getting the idea, Daryl slid his hands under her and searched her back for the clasp. They struggled to get it undone without breaking their kiss, and eventually, either one or both of them managed to get the tiny hooks undone, and they tossed the bra aside to be retrieved much, much later._

_Finally free, at least from the waist up, Grace wrapped her arms around Daryl, pulling him flush against her, the denim separating their hips causing torturous friction. She was content, enjoying the turn of events that her birthday had taken. Softly, she licked at Daryl’s lips, requesting access again. He complied easily._

_Tonight was not their first kiss; the honour of that title had gone to the past New Year’s. Somehow they’d ended up running into each other. Grace’s friends had gotten them fake IDs, and they had gone two towns over to one of the larger bars where they wouldn’t be recognized. Daryl was adamant that he had not followed them, that he had not known they would be there, and that, of course, he came here all the time. As the champagne popped around them, Daryl had sought her out from where he had been sitting quietly in a corner watching her dance all night. “Hey there, Carter,” he whispered against her ear through curls and hairspray. The chanting numbers slowed to silence in her mind as everyone shouted, “Happy New Year’s,” and reached for their friends and partners for the New Year’s kiss. “How about it then, sweetheart.” He smirked. “Where’s my New Year kiss?”_

_That kiss had been quick and chaste, joking and playful, this one – or rather this series of kisses – was insistent and determined. A kiss with a goal in mind, and that goal was to release a tension that had been building since their first eye contact. It was a slow, subtle build that would eventually turn the tides of their friendship into a dance of sexual frustration that neither knew how to act upon._

_That first kiss, the innuendo behind it, the implied jokes of what you do on New Year’s is what you’ll do during the rest of the year. It had turned out to be true apparently. Who would have ever thought that?_

_Daryl broke the kiss and sighed, pressing his forehead against hers. His harsh breath was warm on her face, and she whined at again having to stop. “Yer really sure…”_

_“If you stop me again, I’m going to tie you to the bed.”_

_“Next time,” he chuckled, pressing a single kiss to the side of her mouth. She turned to catch his mouth, and he shifted so she couldn’t. “Easy, said we were doing this right, didn’t I?”_

_“Don’t want it right. Just hard and fast.”_

_“Another time.” Daryl rubbed his cheek against hers, slowly sliding downward to tongue her nipples. He ran his rough fingers across her collarbone and downward, tracing each of her ribs in turn. He laved and tongue bathed her until she didn’t know if she was shivering from anticipation or all the spit._

_“More,” she pleaded. “Please more, anything more. I’ll do whatever you want!”_

_“Anything?” He chuckled, shifting his groin against her leg forcefully._

_“Anything, everything. Just please! Daryl. Please.”_

_“Since you asked so nicely.” He kissed between her breasts and down her sternum, following the rise and fall of her chest to her stomach with his teeth and tongue. Grace whimpered. Daryl looked up briefly to brightly grin at her before lowering his hands to the button on her jeans. He skillfully managed to get it undone without losing eye contact, and he slowly lowered the zipper. She wiggled her hips, attempting to speed up the removal of her pants, but he was determined to move as slowly as possible. He pressed slow kisses to each inch of skin he revealed, nipping at her knees and tugging to finally just get rid of the material when he got to her ankles. The removal of her panties was much less ceremonious because she twisted and managed to assist in the removal process. They stilled finally with his breath ghosting across her hip and his fingers tugging lightly at her curls._

_“Spread a little,” he instructed, looming over her and attempting to push her legs apart, half with his hands and half with his cheek. She tensed for a moment and he gently pushed a little more. “Come on.”_

_Biting her lip she complied reluctantly. He sighed happily and rubbed his nose against her pubic bone, snuggling himself into her pubic hair. Her breathing changed, coming more sharply, less lustful, more tense. “What’sa matter?” he groaned, pulling himself back up to eye level. “Don’t like having someone go down on you? That’d be a first.”_

_Grace blushed and shook her head._

_“Well, if that ain’t it then just let me get a taste of ya.” He chuckled and moved in to kiss her quickly, but stopped before his lips even brushed hers. “Something’s wrong. You change your mind?”_

_She shook her head again. “It’s just,” she worried at her bottom lip for a second. “No one’s…”_

_“If yer tellin’ me what I think yer tellin’ me.” His eyes widened. “You’ve never had no one eat you out. I ain’t your first or nothing, am I? Cause I sure as shit weren’t made for breakin’ no one in.”_

_“I’ve had sex before!” Grace insisted forcefully._

_“And no guy never ate you out? That ain’t right.” He propped himself up on one arm, “How many guys you been with. Honest, no teasing.”_

_“Like three.”_

_“Like?”_

_“Two and then Mitch in high school, you know.” She wiggled her fingers._

_He laughed. “But you’ve at least gotten off right.”_

_Now she was downright offended. “Yes,” she sniffed._

_“Don’t get all huffy. Just trying to figure out what I’m working with. Ever suck a guy off?”_

_“I’ve given blowjobs.”_

_“So why has a guy never done you then?”_

_Grace didn’t know. It had never even dawned on her to ask. She had never considered it really an option. That just wasn’t the sort of relationships she’d had. They fucked, then the guy rolled over and went to sleep. Sometimes she got off, sometimes she didn’t. It wasn’t long and romantic. It was just part of the arrangement. “Just never came up, I guess.”_

_“Knew I never liked none of yer boyfriends.”_

_“Could you be any more jealous right now?”_

_He wound his fingers through her hair and kissed her firmly. Tugging gently at the strands between her fingers, he mumbled against her mouth. “Not even a little. My magic number’s higher than yers, and you don’t seem concerned. Plus I get to be yer first at somethin’ at least.”_

_“You know most guys don’t want to.” She stumbled over her words. “I don’t expect it. That wasn’t what I came up here for.”_

_“No, most guys you’ve been with are stupid. Told you we was doin’ this right. Part of that includes me getting to lick you… Are you blushing? Is this whole little chat makin’ you uncomfortable.”_

_“Please stop talking.”_

_“Nope, you’ve got no clue how fuckin’ hot it is that I get to be the first guy to have his tongue there. I don’t want this to just be fuckin’. If I wanted a fuck, would we be here? We’re not talkin’ makin’ love or any of that shit, but it’s not just fuckin’ either. We’re friends right? You trust me? Well, don’t you find it a little strange that you’d trust me enough not to use a condom, but not enough to eat you out? You wanted friends with benefits?” He hissed in her ear. “This is one of those benefits. I’ve thought about it before. Tonguin’ you, gettin’ you all worked up into a lather, yer taste on my tongue. I bet you taste like salt-water taffy.”_

_“Dare,” she whined, hands clenching against his back._

_“Yeah, sweetheart? You thought about me, haven’t you? What’d you think of doin? Fuckin’ me? Riding me?” He rolled his r, purring against her like a big, happy cat. “Ever think of sucking me down to the root?” She moaned. “Same thing. That’s what real men do. We don’t just think about where we’re gonna stick it. Sometimes we want to play with our food before we eat it.” He nudged his knee between her legs and forced them apart, rubbing at her centre with his thigh. Slowly, he brought his arm down and stroked between her folds. Her breath hitched and he snickered. He brought his hand up to his lips, drawing one finger into his mouth. “Mmmm,” he hummed. “Perfect. You’ll let me, right? Say yes, please.”_

_“I told you, anything,” she started nervously. Carefully, she allowed her legs to fall apart._

_Daryl’s eyes began to twinkle. “Yeah, you did!”_

_“So, yeah.” Grace reached to cup his cheek gently. “Anything. I trust you.”_

_He kissed her then, tongue pushing insistently at her lips, rubbing up against her teeth, his own teeth nipping at her lips. When he slowed his kissing, he mouthed her jaw, back down her body until he was looking up at her from hip level. “You tell me if you don’t like somethin’, you hear?”_

_Grace nodded, one hand already tense in the comforter, the other in his hair. “Just do it already!” she urged._

_“Takin’ my time to enjoy the view down here.” He let a puff of hot air out, fingers spreading her for a better look. “Hello there sweetheart, been thinkin’ about you for a long time.” He turned his head and pressed insistent kisses against her leg. “You know, the longer it takes for you to enjoy this, the slower I’m gonna have to go.” The hand in his hair twisted and he chuckled. Daryl leaned forward again and sucked his mark into her leg. Leaning back just slightly to admire his work, he looked up. Grace was struggling to watch him without being too obvious about it. “The pillows,” he offered offhandedly._

_“Wha?” she exhaled the breath she had been holding._

_“If you wanna watch the show, you might as well make yourself comfortable.” He sat back on his heels, looking at her approvingly. “Go on. Move ‘em around.”_

_Grace didn’t think it was possible to blush any harder. Without making any form of eye contact, she moved the pillows around behind her until she could see Daryl comfortably, then flopped back down._

_“What your big problem is,” he said, tracing invisible lines down her thighs, “is that you,” he kissed her thigh, “need,” kiss, “to,” kiss, “relax.” He planted a final kiss on her leg. “Just let go fer a bit and maybe you’ll like it.”_

_He kept his eyes locked with hers as he slowly lowered his head towards her, eyes dropping down at the last second. He nudged her with his nose, parting her with his fingers and licking gently. Her hips shifted automatically, and he reached a hand to still her. “Shhh,” he quieted before lapping at her clit. Grace panted, her hands making their way from the sheets to clutch his hair. His work was slow, much slower than Grace could have anticipated. Every time he changed something he was doing, he made eye contact, checking for approval. She was trembling by the time he brought the first finger to her entrance. Without entering her, he traced at her with his finger, manipulating her folds with his tongue._

_“Daryl!” she whined._

_He licked across her clit with the flat part of his tongue. “Yeah?” His finger skidded around its goal._

_“If you don’t…”_

_“Don’t what?” His licking turned into sucking, and she made an undignified sound of pleasure. “Oh wait? Did you want something?” He petted slowly at her with the pad of his index finger. He grinned up at her and eased the digit inside her. He slid his finger out again just as slowly and back in. “Good?”_

_She nodded._

_“You good for more?”_

_“Yes,” she sighed._

_Daryl added a second finger and resumed circling her clit with his tongue._

_“More, more, more!” she chanted. Seeking purchase, her hands fumbled as her body began to thrum._

_“Easy, sweetheart,” he soothed, slowly sliding his fingers out. He replaced them with his tongue, moving his fingers to her clit instead. Nose deep, he licked and sucked until her body trembled enough to nearly dislodge him. Smacking his lips, he pulled back and looked at her. “Ever kiss a guy after you sucked him off?”_

_“Eric said it was…”_

_“Eric’s a cunt.” Daryl pushed himself up again and balanced above her. Slowly he leaned toward her and applied just enough pressure to her lips to let her know he was there. He held perfectly still until curiosity got the better of her. She let her tongue slip tentatively out to lick across his already damp mouth. She could feel him smirking as she traced his chapped lips, tasting herself and his last cigarette. Finally giving in, he kissed her back, tangling his tongue with hers and snaking one hand into her hair. The other headed south, and he had plunged two fingers back into her before she was really aware of where they were heading._

_She gasped, body tensing and he stroked hard and fast, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her jaw as she panted. His mouth moved toward her ear to tug on her earlobe and he twisted his fingers. Thumbing her clit quickly, he nipped gently with his teeth before growling, “Ready to cum yet?” He chuckled as her nails bit into his spine, frustration clear on her face. “You know what I think?” he asked. She didn’t respond and he continued. “I bet you you’ve never cum on anyone’s fingers but your own. I bet you that after your boyfriends,” he slurred the word, “have finished, you get yourself off. That or you fake it. Lots of girls do. Most don’t know how to ask for what they want. Hell, most don’t even know what they want. Difference is I actually give a shit. I want to see you fall apart. Bet it feels better. My fingers are bigger, better angle, I can see what I’m doing.” She whimpered, the sound catching in her throat. “I want this just as much as you do.” He kissed her thoroughly, mimicking until her mouth fell open and he softly licked at the inside._

_She whimpered, the air seeming to choke her until her hands finally caught on his shoulders and her body stiffened. Moaning low, Grace fell apart around his fingers, which slowly worked the orgasm out of her._

_As his hand slowed, she released him, slumping limply back to the bed. “Uhnh.”_

_“Really?” he asked inquisitively, considering his fingers before licking her off them. She followed him with her eyes, carefully watching his every move. “Well, it’s not saltwater taffy, but it ain’t bad either.”_

_Her hands shot up, finally rediscovering movement, and yanked his mouth down to hers, dislodging his fingers. She bit at his lips before demanding access to his mouth, licking at his tongue and trying to catch the last traces of what had just happened. They battled for a long moment before both needed to breath. Daryl rested his forehead against hers, rubbing their noses together. “You like that then?”_

_She rubbed his nose back and nodded. “Can you fuck me now?”_

_His chuckle was deep. “Sure thing, sweetheart.”_

_Her hands fumbled almost immediately at the waistband of his jeans, and he leaned back a little to let her. Grace struggled with the best way to get them down and off before Daryl just pulled back completely and hopped off the bed. His fly undone, he smirked and shimmied his hips, jeans dropping to the floor instantly so he could kick them away. As he crawled back into bed, she palmed insistently at his boxers._

_“Mmmm,” he hummed happily. “So how you want to do this?”_

_“Every way.” She grinned. “Every which way we can think of and then some more.”_

_“Sounds like a plan for a night when I haven’t been waitin’ so long,” he growled and rubbed at one ankle with the opposite foot. “Fuck,” he muttered._

_“What?”_

_“I ain’t gonna fuck you with my damn socks on. Can’t fuck nobody properly with socks on.”_

_Grace laughed and rubbed at his ribs, soothing the tension. “Well then, get the rest of your shit off so we can do this.”_

_He grunted and complied, tugging off each sock before pulling off the boxers and letting his cock spring free. Daryl kicked his last article of clothing off the bed and settled back between her thighs. Reaching down tentatively, Grace let her fingers ghost over him, thumb rubbing curiously at the head._

_“Nuh-uh.” He kissed her quickly. “That’ll have to be next time. Won’t last otherwise, been waiting on this too long.”_

_“Okay,” she pouted and he kissed at her again. Fisting himself once urgently, he slowly brought himself to her entrance, covered her mouth with his and pushed forward. Sighing, they both paused to adjust, faces so close together that they were breathing each other’s air. Grace pushed her head up, sealing their mouths together to complete the transfer of oxygen. Daryl licked cautiously at her lips, seeking access. She moaned, finally shifting. He moved against her tentatively. Her hands ran down his arms, coming to rest against his fingers. He threaded them together. Slowly, he stretched her arms above her head and held them there, their hands knotted together. They worked as a fulcrum, balancing each other out. Their years of slowly building tension released in precise actions and imprecise reactions._

 

_Grace arched, her back bowing as the tension in her stomach grew. She could feel herself approaching the edge again. “Dare?”_

_“Mmmm?” he whined from the back of his throat, voice lost in the moment._

_“Close.” She flexed, and he groaned at the constriction._

_“Don’t do that, Carter. If I lose it, yer gonna end up waiting, no matter how close you are.”_

_She laughed and hooked her leg around his bum to bring him closer. He adjusted to her more open position and increased the pace of his actions. Letting go of one hand, he slipped his fingers between their bodies to increase the friction between them. Grace squeezed the hand he was still holding even tighter. Under his careful fingers she bucked against him, whining and moaning. Finally, Daryl began to catch signs that he had noticed as he licked at her, the pink in her cheeks, the way her breathing came in short bursts, how quiet she got._

_“You good there, sweetheart?”_

_She nodded appreciatively and clung to him, the scramble of nails on his back and the way her body was becoming more rigid, fueling his actions, making him more frantic. Finally, he felt the quiver as she reached her release again. “Oh fuck, Grace.” Pressing his face into her neck, he panted, losing control as she came around him. His movements became short and jerky as he too found release and spilled inside her._

_The two lay intertwined on the bed, breath coming fast, having lost complete control of their muscles. Daryl groaned and shifted, pulling out slowly. He kissed her forehead as he tugged her around on the bed, trying to find the edge of the blankets so they could crawl under them. When they finally settled under the covers, Daryl resumed his hold on her hand, kissing each fingertip in turn. “We’re gonna have to call you Amazing Grace from now on,” he stated firmly._

_Burrowing herself into his chest, she snorted. “If you call me that in public, I will have you put to death. Slowly.”_

_“Fair enough.” He shrugged. On the bed beside them, her cell phone buzzed to life again. “Jesus Christ!” he snarled. “Do something about your damn phone, woman!”_

_“It’s not like I’m texting them. They just want to know what happened to the birthday girl on her birthday.” Grace picked up her phone and moved to turn it off. Noticing the date, she grinned._

_“Actually, now it’s my birthday. I think that’s a good way to start a new year.”_

_“Happy Birthday.” He grinned and kissed her, then yawned. “We sleepin’ now or are you chattin’ all night?”_

_“Go to sleep, you big baby.” She laughed at him and he flopped down onto the pillows, pulling her with him. Her eyes closed as Daryl rubbed his nose into her hair and then lightly began combing it with his fingers._

_She snuggled back against him and kissed him gently. “Thanks for running away with me,” she said lazily._

_They were already beginning to fall asleep when he grunted, “An’ if you ever tell Merle I cuddle after, I’ll tear you apart.”_

_Grace laughed and simply tried to get closer._

“You can put your stuff upstairs. Don’t let Merle scare you out of takin’ the loft.” Daryl had snuck up behind her and broke her train of thought.

“The loft?”

“Yeah.” Daryl dropped the cardboard box he was carrying on the threadbare couch. “I was figurin’ since it has the big bed up there. ‘Less you weren’t thinkin’ that. Then you can go on and use that one off the kitchen.” He began digging through the box, pretending to be looking for something so he didn’t have to look at her.

Grace sighed. “Merle’s got his mind set on sleeping upstairs, huh?”

“Sounded like it, the way he was grumblin’.”

Daryl was shying away from her again. He tended to get about as close to committing as someone could get, then backpedal as fast as he could away from it. He was skittish, but she had been handling him for years. “Guess we’d better sleep up there then.” She tugged her suitcase around the couch and brushed past him as she moved toward the hallway where the ladder to the loft was.

“Yeah?” Daryl said hopefully, then cleared his throat. “Yeah?” He repeated a little more seriously.

“Already christened it, haven’t we?”

Daryl’s fleeting smile was worth it.


	3. Chapter Two

Daryl was right, Merle wasn’t too happy to be stuck downstairs. He stomped into the cabin intent on dragging his duffle bag upstairs and discovered Grace’s things already up there.

“Why are the little skank’s things on my damn bed?” He snarled at Daryl, who had their guns and ammo spread out on the table.

Grace was unloading canned goods into the metal storage cupboard in the kitchen that served as a pantry. She rolled her eyes and didn’t bother turning around.

“Leave it, Merle.”

“I ain’t gonna leave it. She don’t got any right to that room. This place is mine and yers. Bad enough you gotta go draggin’ her dumb ass around. Now she gets the big bed.”

“That bedroom is mine and Daryl’s. He’s got every bit as much right to that room as you do and,” Grace quipped, “he’s got someone to share it with.”

“Listen here,” Merle moved closer to Grace and pressed himself into her face. “Just ‘cause yer pussy gets wet for the kid and he’ll drool over anything that comes outta that purty little mouth o’ yers, don’t mean you get to go ruling the roost ‘round here. Bitches get fucked, then they shut-up.”

“Funny usually they come into the bar on Saturday nights screaming about how you gave them Chlamydia.” She muttered under her breath.

Merle lashed out, pinning her against the pantry. The can she had just picked-up off the counter plunged to the ground with a bang and rolled across the floor.

“What the fuck?” Daryl screamed jumping to his feet, the gun he had been holding still in his hand. “Get yer damn hands off her!”

“Keep outta this.”

“Get your hands off of me.” Grace stiffened her body not backing down. The pressure of him against her stomach was making her want to puke a little bit.

“I ain’t gotta listen to yer smart little mouth makin’ smart little comments ‘bout shit you don’t know shit ‘bout. If yer gonna stay, you better put some of that college education to use and not pick fights with someone you can’t take.” Merle squeezed her a little tighter. Behind them Daryl cocked the gun and took a step forward. “You gonna shoot me baby brother?” Merle smirked. “I don’t think you’ve got the balls. This little bitch needs to be put in her place.”

The older Dixon brother turned back to Grace, who was fighting back her urge to spit on him. She was also fighting the urge to turn away from his rancid breath against her cheek. “Listen here,” he started again, sneering. “You may get to play tag along but I don’t have to like it or treat you like yer some special case. I ain’t afraid to hit a girl and I sure as shit ain’t afraid to mess up yer purty face to teach you yer spot in this world. Life is gonna shit on you, bitch. You won’t always get what you want. Daryl, put the fuckin’ gun down. Yer hand is shakin’ so Goddamn hard I can hear it rattlin’ from here.”

“I told you to get yer hands off her.” Dayl stepped around the table. Over Merle’s shoulder Grace couldn’t tell if his hands were in fact shaking or not. His voice sure wasn’t. He moved forward to nudge his brother with the muzzle and Merle snapped.

Still pinning Grace with one arm he spun to face Daryl. He swatted at the gun but Daryl held fast. Merle chuckled. “You know, for bein’ such a pussy you sure are gettin’ tough ain’t you. Look at you, pushin’ guns in people’s faces like you know what to do with one. Put that thing down ‘fore you get all our heads blown clean off.”

“You got a hearin’ problem, Merle? Maybe yer gettin’ old ‘cause I told you to get your damn hands off of her.”

“Relax ‘fore you do something stupid.” Merle let Grace go and she stepped immediately out of reach. “Don’t know why I let you bring her along. Knew she’d be nothing but trouble. You get too full uh yerself when yer dick’s gettin’ sucked, little brother. I’m gonna go get me a drink.” He swaggered out of the house.

The pair watched him leave and slam the door behind him. Daryl looked down at the gun he was holding and tossed it on the table. “Piece of shit weren’t even loaded.” He mumbled, rubbing awkwardly at his face. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Grace answered quietly. She could tell how angry Daryl was, she just wasn’t sure who he was angry with.

“Good,” he grunted. “Let’s get this shit put away and go up to bed ‘fore he gets back and starts another fight.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Grace reached for the can she had dropped when Merle grabbed her. It had rolled toward the kitchen counter. She picked it up, Campbell’s chicken noodle.  The side was dented in from the force where it had hit the ground. Carefully she put it into the pantry with the dented side facing in, hiding it to the casual observer, not that there was anyone to see it anyway. Behind her Daryl was loading the shotgun that he had threatened Merle with. She watched him quietly as he finished and put everything back neatly on the table. “Aren’t you gonna put those somewhere safe?”

“Nah, only one we gotta worry about Merle and if he shoots himself in the head there won’t be no loss there.” He rested the gun against his shoulder. “You about done?”

“I can do the rest tomorrow.” She yawned. “I’m getting tired and it’s not like cans spoil.”

Daryl nodded and shrugged that she should follow him, which she did. The ladder was still dropped down and Daryl let her climb up first. He passed her the gun and she held it gently not sure what to do with it until he got to the top and she passed it back quickly.

“Sheets are clean.” Daryl said taking back the gun before noticing her face. “Wha’?”

“Why are you bringing that thing up here?” She questioned anxiously.

Daryl shrugged. “Don’t like the way things were looking back in town and I don’t like the way Merle’s been acting. Either way I wouldn’t mind having a little firepower ‘case shit gets rough.”

“I don’t really like it.”

Daryl’s brow wrinkled. He set the shot gun to the side and pulled the ladder back up after them making sure the string was on the inside so it couldn’t be pulled back down. “Don’t see much of a way around it.” He said slowly, “We need something for protection. How’s about it stays on my side of the bed and you don’t have to go nowhere near it?”

“I guess.” She rubbed at her wrist thinking of Merle. As much as she hated to admit it and hated to have the gun in the room with them, Daryl might be right.

“Let’s see.” Daryl held up his hand to take hers. He flipped her hand palm up examining the damage that Merle had done when he grabbed her wrist. “Yer gonna have a bruise there.” He said, pressing a kiss to it. He stroked the tiny tattoo on the back of her hand absently. “Anywhere else?”

“My ribs are a little tender.” She didn’t want to admit that Merle really had pushed her pretty hard. It would only make Daryl angrier and she had caused enough trouble between the brothers for one night.

Slowly he ran his hands down her sides, pressing lightly and looking for signs of damage. “Probably will be sore tomorrow but don’t think he did much harm.” Cautiously he kissed her. “Why d’you always gotta piss him off by gettin’ lippy. He wouldn’t get half as bad if you just kept your trap shut.”

“And let him think he was winning? No way.”

Daryl chuckled and kissed her forehead. “You couldn’t take Merle if you tried. He’s crazier than a shithouse rat and doesn’t give a shake of his dick who gets hurt ‘cludin’ himself.  Don’t start nothin’ with him ‘less yer gonna start handlin’ guns.” She shivered a little and he laughed again. “Come on. No more talkin’ about my damn brother up here. Bed time.” He slid his hands up under her shirt, pushing it up and over her head. She lifted her arms and the shirt came free, to be tossed on the floor.

Daryl reached down and unbuttoned his. Grace turned away from him and went to her suitcase which was sitting on the floor at the end of the bed. Unzipping it she looked at the hasty packing job, pleased that she had managed to fit so much in so quickly. She selected a tank top and some sleep shorts. Daryl watched her with his head slightly tilted before reaching down to unbuckle his belt. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, letting them fall to the floor, belt buckle hitting the wood with a noisy clang. He kicked at the puddle of fabric around his feet and grinned at her.

Stalking across the room he picked the tank top out of her hand and considered it. “This ain’t yers.” He said slowly. She looked sheepish, it was in fact one of his wife beaters that had been left at her place and found its way into her pile of sleep clothes. He laughed softly and reached up to slide the strap of her bra off her arm. Reaching behind her he unclasped her bra and the other strap fell down. Grace let her bra drop to the floor and Daryl pushed her arms up so he could slide the wife beater over her head. “Looks better on you anyway.” He smirked and kissed her nose. “Don’t bother with the shorts.”

With lazy movements he undid her jeans and slid his hands into the back to cup her ass, before pushing the jeans down. He stuck one foot between her legs to pin the fabric down and she stepped out of the jeans, leaving them on the floor. Softly he kissed her and pushed her toward the bed. Grace crawled into bed while Daryl positioned the gun by the bedside table and then sat heavily on the mattress. He reached down to remove his socks, first one, then the other, before rolling under the covers to join her.

Reaching a lazy hand over, Daryl turned off the electric lamp. He flopped down on his back and pulled Grace to his chest, hand running down her back looking for the tender spots he thought she would probably have there from getting slammed against the metal. Slowly he worked at the little knots he found and tried to sooth the sore spots with his fingers. She snuggled her cheek into him and sighed. Above her he grunted, “Go to sleep now, you hear. Got stuff to do tomorrow and I don’t need you distractin’ me.”

“Maybe I should have worn the shorts then,” she teasingly tossed a leg over him and he groaned.

He rolled them over and Daryl settled his arm around her middle, spooning her gently. “No funny business.” He adjusted his other arm under his head, snuggling her hair. “Bed time.” Grace sighed and pushed back but couldn’t fight the exhaustion. She was too comfortable, it had been too long of a day. Listening to the rhythm of his breathing in the dark, Grace found her eyes growing heavier and heavier. Before she knew it both their breathing began to slow and they drifted off to sleep.

***

Grace woke to the sounds of an axe against wood in a rhythmic slam, crack and pop. The sheets beside her were cool to the touch; Daryl had already been up for a while. As long as she had known him he had been an early riser and she slept like a coma victim. Sometimes if she was lucky she would wake-up as he was bustling around which ever bedroom they were sleeping in but this morning she apparently had been so exhausted that she hadn’t even stirred when he got out of bed.

She lay on her back and rubbed her eyes. Her back and ribs were sore from last night’s encounter of a Merle Dixon kind and Daryl was right about the bruise on her wrist. Grace sat up straight, no use pouting about it, better to just get on with the rest of her life. Her head swam. Great, he must have smacked her head up against that damn cabinet too. A headache was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. And she had to pee. Badly.

The cabin had an indoor shower but the toilet was still outside in an outhouse. Going downstairs meant she had to get dressed. She didn’t want Merle to see her in her underwear because that was really just asking for trouble and she really wasn’t as much of an idiot as he told her she was. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and some socks before dragging a hoodie over the wife beater. It wasn’t fancy but it would do for getting her ass out to the outhouse. Downstairs she shoved her feet into her running shoes without untying them. It was a habit she had tried to break a dozen times but she never managed it. Grace was constantly destroying her shoes that way and needing to buy new ones.

She let herself out onto the back porch and walked around the side of the cabin. Daryl was the one splitting wood in the yard. He swung the ax downward, the piece cracking and popping into two pieces. He tossed the spilt pieces to the side, to be stacked later and picked up another piece. Merle was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t been in the cabin and he wasn’t hanging around outside either. Just as Daryl was setting the new piece up to be split, he spotted Grace.

“Yer up.” Daryl grinned, another sure sign that his brother wasn’t hanging around.

“Yeah, heard you chopping wood out here. I gotta pee though so I’ll be back in a minute.” She continued past him to the little building just at the edge of the woods. Some days she felt as if she really was getting the short end of the stick. Then again with how the world was looking, was pissing in an outhouse really that big of a problem. It wasn’t even a very bad outhouse. The top was mesh, which let in light but kept bugs and squirrels out. There was even a decent toilet seat over the hole. Still it wasn’t where she had expected to find herself.

Skipping town to run away with her not-boyfriend and his psychotic brother to a cabin in the middle of the Georgia wilderness, leaving her job, house and friends behind.

The sound of another log cracking echoed behind her and her head throbbed so much that her stomach turned. She shook the feeling off and dropped the toilet paper into the black bottomless pit. She pulled her pants up and looked around. Given that this was the cabin of men and they probably hadn’t had any sort of female visitors other than the time she had been here seven years earlier, there was no place to wash her hands. Yup, she was living it up in a classy way. Washing your hands after relieving yourself was just proper hygiene. She looked helplessly down at her palms for a minute and then gave up. She could just wash them when she got into the house. She let herself out of the outhouse with a sigh. A headache and now nothing to wash her hands with, not to mention the bruises from Merle. Yup it was a fucking great morning.

Daryl turned around when he heard the door swing shut behind her and grinned. “Was just about ready to come see if you fell in.”

“Do you know there’s nothing to clean your hands with in there?”

Rested the axe head against the hard packed dirt and looked puzzled. “Huh?”

“Like for washing your hands after you use the bathroom.”

“Rub ‘em on the grass?” he offered helpfully, seeming completely unconcerned by the lack of hygiene.

“Honestly Daryl, I don’t know how you’ve survived all these years. It’s like you were raised in a barn.”

“It was a leaky ass trailer but I sure as shit weren’t raised in no barn,” he corrected, positioning another log on the big stump to be split. “Hygiene don’t matter so much out here. You just gotta kinda go with it.”

“So when in the midst of civilization you follow our standards.”

Daryl nodded, swinging the axe down hard. The split pieces dropped the the sides and he stooped to pick them up. “Out here I’m jus’ gonna end up getting’ dirty again so why bother. We piss wherever up here too so if you see Merle goin’ off by his lonesome…”

“I’ll resist the urge to follow your crazy brother off into the forest if he ventures off on his own.”

“Sometimes he just whips it out wherever he’s standing.”

Grace winced, “That might be a habit we want to break him of. Where is the absolute darling anyway?”

“Went for a ‘stroll’ ‘posedly. I think he’s got somethin’ with him so hopefully he’ll mellow for a couple of hours and we won’t have to see him.”

“That I wouldn’t mind.” Grace reached automatically for her phone and realize that she didn’t have it with her. It had been turned off since last night. Who knew how many missed calls she would have. “What time is it anyway?” She yawned

“Quarter after nine?” Daryl brought the ax down again. “Dunno, I don’t have a watch.”

“Really? That early. I never get up that early on a Saturday.”

“I know.” Daryl smirked and she knew exactly what he was thinking. Whenever he slept over at her house this was when he snuck out to go home and get changed. She’d wake-up just as he was getting back, usually with coffee.  God, they were getting domestic.

“Have you eaten yet?” She said quickly to change where the conversation was going. “We should have at least some kind of breakfast.”

“Nope, wanna cook me somethin’?”

“Uh-un there, honey. If we’re doing breakfast you can help.”

He shrugged, “Suits me well enough.”

“And you’re washing up before you touch anything food related.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He mock saluted before rubbing his grimy hand across his forehead to muss his hair. “Merle killed a couple of squirrels this morning.”

“How did not guess that Merle would get off on torturing poor fuzzy creatures?”

The younger Dixon snickered. “He wants to skin ‘em and eat ‘em.”

“Fuck you, Daryl. That’s nasty.”

“You won’t be thinkin’ that when yer sick of canned soup.”

“I’ll eat the tin cans first.”

Daryl laughed. “Come swimming before we make food?” He gave her a crooked grin. “Merle will be gone for hours. He’s storming around these woods, high as a kite. Hell, maybe he’ll get hisself lost.”

“Just swimming?” She didn’t really feel up to messing around.

He held up his hand. “Scouts honour. I’m actually gettin’ kinda hungry but apparently I gotta wash up ‘fore I can eat.”

Grace considered him for a minute then figured there was nothing better to do, so why not. Maybe a swim would help clear her head. It couldn’t hurt. “Come on then.”

The cabin was about a hundred fifty yards from the water’s edge. There was a path but part of it was downhill. At one point there had been a dock but it had rotted and been pulled from the water long ago. All that was left was an overturned wooden boat with the bottom going soft and the empty place in the vegetation at the shore line. Casting sideways glances at each other Daryl and Grace both began to undress. Daryl kicked off his boots and dropped his jeans almost immediately. Following suit, she toed off her runners and set them neatly side by side. Then she undid the drawstring on her sweat pants. She pulled them off unceremoniously and hung them on a tree.  She pulled the long sweatshirt over her head and hung it up too.

“What are you doin’,” Daryl teased, “makin’ a fort or somethin’.”

Grace laughed. “I haven’t made a blanket fort in ages! It was about as close to camping I got when I was a kid.” In a split second decision she pulled off the wife beater and hung it on another small tree near the shore. Daryl frozen for a moment noticing the sudden lack of any form of clothing on her upper half, then licked his lips and smirked before he pulled his own shirt over his head.

She turned quickly toward the water and ran straight in, slowing as it got to her knees, turning back to the man on the shore. Backing further into the water she smiled at Daryl who was watching her with his head tipped to one side. “You comin’ in or am I gonna have to go swimming by myself.” Grace splashed some water toward the shore.

Daryl walked into the water purposefully until he reached where she was standing. She flicked the water on her fingertips at him. “Don’t start something…” A wave crashed at him and Grace cackled. “Oh hell woman, I will own you.”

“No one owns me.” She splashed him again grinning.

Daryl pushed his hands through the water, thoroughly soaking her.

“God!” She whined. “That’s actually kinda cold. Now I’ve gotta get in all the way.”

“Was the plan, sweetheart.” He moved into deeper water, pausing when he got waist deep. Looking back at her, he turned and dove. For a moment he was gone, swimming under water, then he popped up again and paddled around. “Not so bad really.” He playfully pushed some more water her way.

“Okay, okay.” She protested, laughing. “Just let me get all the way wet first.” Slowly she crept toward deeper water but froze when it began to ride over the waistband toward her belly button.

“Chicken?” Daryl spat water like a whale. “What’s matter, Amazing Grace? Don’t wanna get wet?”

“Don’t call me that.” She faked a grimace. “What are you, part fish?”

“Must be it.” He stood and shook the water out of his eyes. “If you come closer I’ll show you my gills.” He held his hands out toward her and she took a step backward.

“Don’t you dare.”

The sly look that spread across his face worried her. He stalked forward and grabbed her pulling her under with him. She shrieked and flailed back to the surface.

_“Hey Carter, where you been?” The three girls were walking down the sidewalk when Daryl’s truck pulled up behind them. The driver’s side window was down and Daryl half hung out the window trying to talk to them. They had just come back from the beach. The girls wore lose shirts over their their bikini tops and cut off shorts, their towels from sun bathing draped over their arms._

_“Leave her alone.” Amber snapped. “Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”_

_He looked at Grace hurt by the accusation, and she turned to her friend, “Amber, leave it. It’s not really any of your business is it?”_

_“Your mom was worried fucking sick for days and I should leave it?” She snorted, “Yeah that’ll happen.”_

_“Seriously. Can you two just give us a minute?”_

_“I dunno.” Mary-Jane scrunched up her face._

_“Not really a good idea, Grace.” Amber frowned._

_Grace sighed, “I’m just going to talk to him._

_“I really don’t think you should though.”_

_“How ‘bout you mind your own fuckin’ business?” Daryl growled._

_“Dare,” Grace scolded and turned back to her girlfriends. “Seriously, we’re just going to talk.”_

_“Fine.” The two friends slowly started to move a little further down the sidewalk. “We’re staying right here though.”_

_Grace watched their slow retreat and when they were just far enough ran to the other side of the truck. Yanking on the handle she threw herself in and slammed the door behind her. Daryl was shocked. “Thought we was just talkin’?”_

_“How’s about you stop talking and drive?” She pinched her lips. Amber was shocked but then started moving quickly toward the car._

_“Grace?” she called._

_“Drive!” She insisted and Daryl stepped on the gas._

_“Yes Ma’am!” They sped around the corner. Grace’s phone going off frantically between them. She shoved it into her purse ignoring the call._

_“God,” she slumped into the seat. “They’ve been watching me like I’m some kind of convict since I got back. I can’t even breathe.”_

_Daryl chuckled. “Where we going?”_

_“I dunno, driver. How far will a blow get me?”_

_His eyes went wide and he started to slow the truck like he was ready to drop her on the side of the road. “Grace,” he said slowly._

_“Oh fuck off. That was a joke, you idiot. I know what happened. We’re friends.”_

_He shifted uncomfortably. “You been getting’ a hard time?”_

_“Serena Oldenburg asked to see the ring and if it was Elvis that married us.”_

_“No shit?!” He chuckled._

_“Yup the story is we went to Vegas, got hammered, and tied the knot.”_

_“With Elvis as Chaplin?”_

_“I’m just getting started. Apparently if we didn’t get hitched then in a couple of months our first child would be a bastard.” She grabbed the hem of her shirt and held it up baring her stomach. “Do I look six months pregnant to you?!”_

_“Put your damn shirt down, woman.” He reached over and swatted at her hand._

_She slumped against the seat. “It’s just not fair! You get off easy. No one gives a fuck who you fuck!”_

_“Merle asked if I ‘done you right’ if it helps. Also wants to know if they’re really as perky as they seem.”_

_Grace snorted quietly. “Your brother really is a charmer isn’t he?”_

_“Only the best in the Dixon family.”_

_“You aren’t so bad.”_

_“Nope, just kidnapping you for the second time in less than two weeks.”_

_“They never charged you. I’m twenty-one and went completely willingly. My mom’s crazy for even trying to get the cops involved. Oh that’s the other one! Mary-Jane said that while I was gone someone started a rumour that you had taken me hostage as your personal sex slave.”_

_“That’s just…”_

_“I know. It’s like because I’m a girl I couldn’t have taken YOU hostage as MY sex slave.”_

_“Sweetheart, I’d do that willingly.” He turned out of town._

_“Please tell me you’re taking me back to the camp and then driving me straight to Atlanta in September.”_

_“’Fraid not. Just going up to the look-out.”  The phone started up again. “You better get that or else we really will have to skip town.”_

_Grace whined but dug through her purse to retrieve the phone. Angrily she pressed the button. Almost immediately the shouting started._

_“Relax, relax.” Grace held the phone away from her ear. “Honestly, shut the fuck up Amber!” There was a moment of peace and she put the phone to her ear. “Now say it again nicely.”_

_Daryl snorted. Grace fought back her smirk._

_“He’s not kidnapping me. I’m the one who… Jesus fuckin’ Christ! Are you about fucking done?! I’m the one who got in the truck. I’m the one who told him to drive. I’m the one who did it, so leave Daryl the fuck out of this. No you dumbass, he’s not making me say thing. Have we not gone over that it was a willing adventure I subjected myself to? It was four days. God you’d think I was gone for a month. I even left Mom a message on the machine after you called me eight million times.” She paused to listen and huffed. “SERIOUSLY, shut the fuck up! If anyone got taken advantage of its Daryl. I used him for an easy summer lay and now he’s left to pine after me when I run away to the big city.”_

_Daryl snickered._

_“Seriously, talk to him yourself. He’ll tell you.” She poked her phone and held it out to Daryl, “it’s on speaker.” She said._

_He leaned toward the phone laughing, both hands still on the wheel. “Hey Amber. Grace here wants me to tell you she’s taken me hostage to use as her own personal love machine. You wouldn’t happen to know how to get out of handcuffs would you? These ones sure look like they’re gonna chaff. She’s got me locked in this dark windowless room…”_

_“DARYL DIXON, YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!” Came Amber’s voice through the phone. “IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU WORTHLESS READNECK ASSHOLE I’M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AND USE YOUR HIDE TO MAKE ME A NEW PAIR OF BOOTS.”_

_“And what fine boots those would be.” He laughed._

_“Okay there,” Grace said taking the phone back and turning off the speaker. “You’ve said your bit and he’s said his and we’re all fine and I’ll be back by dinner and…” She hung up the phone. “Ooops, guess we lost service.” Grace shrugged._

_“She really hates me doesn’t she?” Daryl whistled. “Wow, she’s got a temper.”_

_The girl beside him grimaced and sunk further into the seat. “Oh she’s being nice compared to my mom. Can’t wait to get back to school.”_

_“Won’t you miss me?” He quipped and she laughed._

_“You’re about the only one. Fuck the look-out. Take me for ice cream?”_

_“You better take me out if your friends are tanning my leather to make boots.”_

_“Fine.” She knew he would end up paying anyway. Daryl Dixon could not let a woman buy something in front of him even if he wanted to. Grace didn’t know how many times she had to sneak around behind his back to pay for her own meals when they went out. On this occasion though she might just let him. She had been having a rather shitty week. “So how did Merle find out?”_

_“That we took off? Dunno same way everyone else did I guess.”_

_“That we fucked.”_

_“Oh, guess he sorted it out kinda. He said I had an even stupider expression than normal. Why d’you just go ‘round tellin’ people.”_

_“Yeah, that’s how I do things.” Grace rolled her eyes. “Amber thinks she’s queen of the body language. Girl watches too many tv shows. She waited until my mom left me alone and just stared at me.”_

_“She stared?”_

_“Yeah, must have been five minutes before I got so uncomfortable that I told her to lay off. Then she was all, ‘So was fucking Daryl Dixon worth the heartache you’ve caused us all?’”_

_The corner of his mouth turned up. “Wha’chyou say?”_

_“’Not that it’s any of your business but thanks to Daryl Dixon I won’t need to cum for the rest of the summer.’”_

_Daryl threw his head back and howled. “No shit you didn’t.”_

_“I sure as fuck did. I’m not ashamed about what we did and it’s really no one’s damn business but yours and mine. I’m going back to school and you’re staying here. This isn’t some kind of love thing.”_

_“Hey,” Daryl protested. “If you were staying here we would keep messin’ ‘round if you wanted to! Ain’t like I’m just fuckin’ an’ leavin’ you.”_

_She rolled her eyes again. “You and I both know that. It’s like two consenting adults can’t have sex without everyone else getting in their business. Whatever, I’m over it. Two more months and then I’ll be back in Atlanta.”_

_“Promise you’ll come back.” He whined in a high voice. “My heart’ll just break without ya.”_

_“There’s always holidays.” She pretended to consider the options. “Letting you eat cranberry sauce off my chest at Thanksgiving, fucking in front of a fireplace at Christmas, wet t-shirt contests for Spring Break.”_

_“Don’t miss me too much now.” Daryl warned._

_“Don’t worry, I won’t.” She laughed._

Grace splashed her way back to the surface, coughing out the water she swallowed. “I’m going to get you!” She shrieked, throwing herself toward him. He caught her hands easily in his own and held her as she kicked and struggled, giggling the whole time.

“Don’t hurt yerself.” He laughed back.

“You’re going to pay for that!” She yanked herself free and bent down to splash more water at him. He returned the action, causing waves to nearly drown her completely.

“Well there’s a sight I like to see.” They both frozen. On the shore Merle had just stepped out of the trees and was watching them intently. “Don’t stop ‘cause of me. By all means, carry on. Was havin’ fun watchin’ her bounce ‘round the way she was.”

Daryl stepped in front of Grace to shield her from Merle’s view. “Get lost, Merle.”

“Aw don’t be such a limp dick, little brother.” On the shore Merle stretched out to enjoy the show.

“Come on we’re getting out.” Daryl turned to Grace.

She frowned and said softly, “We’re not making breakfast together now, are we?”

Daryl looked away.

“Well fuck the both of you then.” She pushed past him, not caring if Merle saw any more than he already had. She stormed out of the water, knowing full well that Daryl wouldn’t follow her. On the shore she pulled the sweatshirt over her head and began gathering her other clothes.

“Don’t do that, Princess.” Merle drawled. “I don’t mind ‘em hangin’ out.”

“Fuck you.” She muttered. “I’m making breakfast, how do you want your eggs?”

Merle looked startled for a second then answered. “Over easy?”

“Then you’re getting them scrambled, asshole.” She said darkly and stomped back up the embankment.

The Dixon brothers stood in silence for a few minutes; Daryl still dripping water and Merle leaning against a tree shocked. Merle grinned finally, “You know she’s not really such a horrible little bitch after all. I like ‘em kinda feisty. Anyway I think she likes me.”

  
Daryl started walking towards shore and Merle continued to taunt him.

“And her tits! God, have they always been like that. She’s got a perfect set of knockers on her. Nice little ass too. She’s getting a little meaty though. Should make her take care uh herself a little more. Next thing you know she’ll be knocked up and lose it all. After the first couple of bastards she’ll really pack on the pounds…”

“Fuck you, Merle.” Daryl snarled. He grabbed his clothes from where he had dropped them and pulled his jeans over his wet boxers.

“S’gonna look like you pissed yerself if you wear ‘em wet like that.” Merle grinned.

Daryl just glared at his brother and walked away.

—-

Up in the loft Grace dropped her clothes in a messy pile. The sweat shirt covered her to mid thigh but her underwear were already starting to make it damp. At moment if there were a list of people she would hit with her car, Merle Dixon would be the top of it. She was quite sure that if it weren’t for the hold he held over his brother that Daryl would have manned up and made something more permanent out of their relationship.

After all, they’d only been fucking exclusively for almost three years now.

What Daryl Dixon lacked in the balls department in public he tended to make up for most of the time in private. He had never been overly affectionate when people could see them but when they were alone it was a different story.

Merle and the rest of the world always had been the thing to fuck up everything. Merle was loud, rude and obnoxious; enough to embarrass anyone but particularly off-putting for his shy baby brother. Her friends for the most part treated him like mud. It was only the people she knew as adults that seemed, while confused by him, mostly accepting. Becky was downright insisting. While her mother was alive she had spent almost a decade telling her how worthless “ _that Dixon boy”_ was. It was only in the last couple of months that she grew more understanding. How could a mother hate the boy that would drive two towns over to bring coffee and breakfast to the girl keeping vigil at her dying mother’s bedside. She had never admitted it in so many words but Grace was sure that in the end her mother approved of the budding relationship.

For over a year while her mother was sick, Daryl had been her rock; driving her when she was crying too hard to see; answering the phone to talk her off the edge when things got rough, even if she called in the middle of the night; bringing the damn woman flowers for her room even though she never once did thank him. He sat with her while her mom did her chemo, always mysteriously showing up just as the doctors took the sick woman away and fading away just as quickly when her mother came back, weak and lethargic.

When she had first come back from Atlanta she had still had a boyfriend. His name was Bobby and he worked in some kind of office building in Sales and Marketing. Whatever that meant. He was sweet. They had been seeing each other for more than a year. She was just starting to wonder if it was going to get serious, she was twenty-four after all and he was nearly twenty-six.  Everyone she knew was settling down it seemed. Then she found out about her mom’s cancer. She ended up moving back home instead of in with Bobby. Her friendship with Daryl rekindled and with Bobby an hour away she relied on him for support. Bobby got jealous, he lost their cat (she suspected on purpose) and they fought constantly.

She hadn’t even been interested in Daryl that way. Were they both single they probably would have fucked but it would have been more out of mutual satisfaction than any sort of romantic interest. Anyway Daryl usually had some sort of fuckbuddy to keep himself happy. She had loved Bobby but all he could think about was she was still friends with a guy she had fucked three summers earlier and never so much as kissed again.

She looked at the unmade bed where she and Daryl had slept the night before. Maybe he had known better than the both of them. She and Daryl could have been really fucking happy, eventually. They were already starting to get closer to something truly meaningful. They just needed everyone else in the world to fuck off and die to do it. Especially Merle.

Maybe she was getting her wish but she didn’t want to wait around any longer for Merle to finally bite the dust.

“Hey,” Daryl said softly coming up the ladder. “Came to get somethin’ dry to wear. You alright?”

“Your brother saw my tits.”

“Merle’s a perv.” He shrugged.

“And you’re a coward.”

Darly groaned as she turned away from him. “I’m sor…”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. If you were sorry maybe you’d stop letting him talk shit about me.”

“Like you did?” He growled. “Don’t think I never heard Amber bitchin’ and whinin’. I heard her. And that chick you two was always with, what was her name, the curly one?”

“Mary-Jane?”

“Yeah,’ He nodded. “You know what she did one day? I was waitin’ outside to drive you home while you was getting’ yer purse inside. She comes up to the truck and shoves this damn pamphlet in my face. Says, ‘God’ll still love me if I confess my lustful ways’ and that I shouldn’t take you down with me. You were seven-fuckin’-teen, like I even thought about layin’ a hand on you when you was that little!”

“She was a kid. Merle’s a grown man!”

“Yer mom called the cops on me. Dozen times, at least.”

“She was worried about me.”

“ S’that what you call it?”

“Your brother likes to call me a dirty whore.”

“You know how he is. Can’t take a thing he says serious.”

“Yeah so then why do you always listen to him, huh? Why the fuck did you let him come along?”

     

“He’s the one who came into town with the news. Look, I came and got you didn’t I? I came and got you ‘cause I needed you. No one else. Trust me, I can think of a lotta people that would be a damn sight more useful if somethin’ gets up here than a skinny little bit that won’t even touch a gun. When Merle said, we was skippin’ town I made him wait so I could go get you. Least you could fuckin’ do is thank me and try to get along with him.”

“Thank-you.” She snipped. Shaking out a pair of wrinkled jeans from her suitcase. She dropped her wet panties to the floor and pulled on a new pair before dragging the jeans over her chilled legs.

“Yer welcome.” He grunted back.

Grace sighed and finished changing, making sure the shirt she chose neither accented her chest nor drew any kind of attention to it. She considered pulling a hoodie on again but it was already starting to warm up outside and it would only get hotter during the day. Daryl took his time changing as well. Neither of them wanted to go downstairs and face Merle. Grace could just see him now sitting at the table feet up and picking his teeth waiting to be served like a king. Instead she moved toward the bed and began to smooth out the blanket and sheets. Daryl moved to the other side of the bed and did his best to help.

“Really am sorry.” He mumbled and she couldn’t help but give him a small smile. Daryl Dixon was just too cute when he was pouting.

“You owe me tonight then.”

He grinned back. She finished tucking the sheets the way she liked them, Grace crossed over quickly to Daryl’s side of the bed. “I’m going down to make breakfast.” She kissed him quickly. “Don’t leave me down there with your damned brother for too long on my own.” He linked their hands tightly for a moment, squeezing her fingers and rubbing his thumb over her tattoo in promise. Grace just smiled and shook her head, pulling away.

When she got to the kitchen the cans she had been putting away last night were still in exactly the same place she left them, just as she suspect they would be. Merle wasn’t sitting at the table though. He was laying on the couch cigarette hanging from his lips and playing with a knife. It gave Grace the creeps to watch him play with it.

“Well if it isn’t Gracie Carter.” He sneered. “Ya’ll looked nicer the last time I saw ya. Something about you wearing clothes just makes me wanna see you less.”

“If you pulled a bag over your head maybe I’d want to see more of you.” She grumbled. Though she had though she was through with it, Merle brought her headache back with vengeance. “And while you’re putting a bag on your head make it a plastic one so you can suffocate and die.”

“Thought you was makin’ me breakfast woman. Sounds like yer just flappin’ yer gums. If yer gonna use your mouth I can think of better things for you to…”

“Merle if you say another word I’m going to find rat poison and put it in your coffee.” For once Merle listened and closed his mouth.


	4. Chapter Three

“Ya just plannin’ on laying there all day.”

Grace lifted her sunglasses off her nose to squint up at Merle. “That was the plan.” The sun was hot and she wanted nothing more than to soak it up. Common sense kept her from showing too much skin but it didn’t mean she couldn’t still lay out in the sun and enjoy herself. There was no power in the cabin any more. It had cut out that morning, much to everyone’s exasperation. Daryl had gotten the generator running but there was no extra power for entertaining purposes. They were even rationing their use of the radio. Grace had put the solar lamps on Daryl’s tailgate for use that night.

“Lazy little bit, ain’t cha.”

“I am.” She rolled her eyes and laid back down on the blanket she had spread out.

“Hey Gracie?”

“What do you want now, Merle?” She didn’t bother to look up. Usually this was the point he did something insulting; it was a toss-up between a sexist comment, flipping her off or grabbing his dick.

“Catch.”

Her eyes sprung open quickly, just in time to see a scrap of limp fur fly towards her. It hit her in the chest and she looked down, only to come face to face with a dead squirrel. She shrieked and threw the creature to the ground, jumping up and away from it.

“You’re disgusting. Do you know what sort of disease that thing’s probably got on it?”

Merle laughed and walked away. “Guess you don’t want me to get you another one for lunch then, huh?”

Grace couldn’t help but groan as her stomach clenched at the thought.

—-

“Get me a drink.”

“No.” Grace was sitting on the couch in the living room area of the main room, attempting to read a book. It was shitty, she blamed Amber for suggesting the damn romance novel to her but there wasn’t much else to do. Somehow the book had ended up in her suitcase with three others but she had already finished those. She was going through a book a day.

Merle fidgeted with something on the gun and it made an ominous clicking sound. She wasn’t sure what they were doing with all the guns spread out on the kitchen table yet again. It was their nightly routine. Merle and Daryl spread all the weapons out, took some of them apart before putting them back together, simply turned others over and ultimately put them all back into the gun cabinets before they went to bed. This they did silently.

“Yer just sittin’ there. Get off yer ass and get me a drink.”

“You’re closer to the fridge.” It was true. Merle was just a few feet from it. If Grace got up she would have to walk all the way around the couch and table to get to the fridge. She was clear across the room. 

“Yer the one that ain’t doin’ somethin’ productive.”

Her eyes rolled automatically. It was true. She was just wasting time reading until Daryl decided to go up to bed. She sighed and put her bookmark in. “What’d you want?”

“Beer, they’re in the fridge on the door.”

She knew where the beer were, it was her who had put them there after Merle complained nonstop about drinking “warm piss” all afternoon. They had better be cold by this point because if she had to hear it again… well there were a number of possible options, most of which ended with either his death or hers.

Daryl gave her a tight smile as she walked past. He was characteristically quiet, staying on the other side of the room or yard from where she was and mostly ignoring her unless she spoke directly to him. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t use to it. He had never been a big talker when Merle was around. Tight quarters with his brother for the past few days had made him even quieter as Grace and Merle fought and Daryl struggled to not get pulled in either direction.

“Want one too, Daryl?” she smiled back.

“Yeah, Grace. Thanks.”

The fridge itself was yellowed with age and ancient. It had a handle you had to lift to get open. Grace was sure it probably sucked up more power than they should be wasting but she couldn’t see a way around it. She popped the handle and reached inside to grab the two beers only to have her fingers connect with fur. The cold, damp fur of a small rodent that had sat in the fridge for a few hours.

She screamed.

Daryl looked up shocked.

Merle threw his head back and roared.

“That’s not funny!” She wailed, looking down at the squirrel in the fridge placed perfectly between the bottles of Bud. Daryl just shrugged as his brother wiped tears from his eyes.

“Prick!” She slammed the door and stormed upstairs.

Merle growled, “Hey, where’s my beer?”

“Get it yourself, asshole!”

—-

“DARYL!” Merle hollered.

“He’s in the shed.” She was standing at the kitchen counter, sorting through their dirty dishes and trying to figure the best way to wash them. With the power out to the majority of the cabin, the pump from the river wasn’t working. They hadn’t even realized it until Grace went to finally wash up the pile of dishes that morning. Daryl was trying to get the generator hooked up to it but it meant unhooking the generator from the fuel tank and moving it closer to the water.

The older Dixon stomped into the house leaving muddy boot prints across the floor. Grace sighed, she would have to clean them up. No one else seemed to think they needed to clean the floors, or wash their hands, or do the dishes. She felt like a maid.

“Still haven’t finished the dishes yet, girly?” Merle smirked and she glared back

“I don’t see you offering to help. There’s no water in here and there’s no way it’s sanitary to wash them in the river.”

“Probably not but it’d stop ‘em from stinkin’ up the place. When’s the last time you washed up in here? Startin’ to think Daryl’s wifey ain’t worth her weight around this place. ”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? Worried it’ll get on the kid’s nerves? Like I give a fuck.”

Grace rolled her eyes and walked away to go find Daryl herself. Contrary to popular belief he was actually pretty smart and she was completely out of ideas for what to do with the dishes. She stepped around Merle and out onto the porch. There was another pile of squirrels. Three of the little fuzzy bastards stared up at her from a mound on the floor. She shivered. Behind her Merle guffed.

—-

By the fourth day Grace had realized that Merle’s squirrel fetish was mostly to get some sort of reaction out of her. She tried her best to just ignore him as he sat sprawled out in a lawn chair and picked off the friendly creatures one by one, ever insistent that they should try to cook and eat them. He was like an eight year old boy with his first BB gun.

They had a campfire going and on the grill a pot of water boiled. She had given up waiting on Daryl to get the generator running and hooked up to the water pump. The generator was in place but it resisted running with the pump for some reason and they still had no running water in the cabin. Grace had already boiled two pots of water and they were cooling in the metal wash tub she had found in the loft. Spread out on a makeshift table of boards and tall logs were the dirty dishes.

The gun popped and Grace heard the distinctive sound of something falling through the leaves to plunk on the ground. Merle whooped. “Got cha, you little bugger!”

Still ignoring him, Grace tested the temperature of the water that was cooling and decided it was alright. She turned to take the fresh hot water off of the rack, careful to use the oven mitts she had brought out. The pot of fresh water set aside to cool, she added dish soap and picked up the dish cloth to begin her task.

Merle jumped from his seat and chased off into the forest after his prey. She washed in peace for a few moments, praying the whole time he would be chased down by Africanized bees and die a horrible agonizing death. Sadly he stomped out of the trees a few minutes later looking more furious than usual.

“Couldn’t find it?” She smirked at his empty hands.

“Fuck-you nasty bitch. Daryl’s the only one who wants to listen to yer wimperin’ and whinin’.” He plunked back down in his chair and picked up the gun again.

Grace sighed. It would be sooner or later that he found something else to use against her. The squirrel population was starting to run thin.

—-

“Fuck off and die you redneck son of a bitch.” Grace slammed the front door. Daryl snorted into his coffee and fiddled with the radio again. For the past six days reports had been coming in with news of what was happening in the real world. It was morbid and some of it was downright bone chilling but they listened anyway. The voices coming over the airwave were grotesque for sure but like a train wreck, they couldn’t turn away.

“What’s he done now?” He questioned, slowly trying to get back to the station that had provided them with information the night before. Like all the others though it seemed to have gone dead.

“He tossed a shirt at me, the bastard. Told me to go down to the water and wash it. Like I’m his fucking maid or something.”

“You washed mine shit yesterday.” Daryl shrugged. “He’s probably hopin’ to get in on some of the benefits of having you ‘round here.”

“You got a rabbit and had blood all over your clothes. I got stew out of it. Fair trade.”

“Merle offered to skin up some squirrels for ya.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Don’t be so hard on him. He’s bored and just tryin’ to have a little fun.”

“About the only fun I’m having out here is when we’re alone.” She gave him a dark look, “And the second Merle joins in on the fun is the day I hang myself. I hate your brother.”

Daryl chuckled and ran his finger along the tiny plastic dial until it finally caught and the static turned into words.

“…not a test. Please tune to your local radio station for more information. Residents are reminded to stay indoors and report any violent crimes to local authorities or military personal in your area. If safe to do so, report to a displaced persons camp for further assistance. This is not a test. Please tune to your local radio station…”

“Shudd-up,” Daryl groaned and leaned back. Their local radio station wasn’t offering information any more. They had switched to crank radio when the power cut out but it didn’t help when there was no new information on the radio. Merle hadn’t thought of bringing his CB so there was no other way of getting news from outside.

Becky had tried calling again when the first roadblocks went up. It was the last time she had spoken to her friend. Grace assured her that she and Daryl were far away and safe. She had lied and said they were heading to Texas where Daryl had some family. If Becky knew they were as close as they were she might try to make a break for it. Becky had talked about people being attacked at the hospital and on the streets. Everyone was worried about the infected.

The Infected.

That was what they were being called because no one wanted to say what they really were. They sounded more like zombies if you asked Grace but no one was asking Grace much of anything unless it equalled her acting as Suzie Homemaker for Merle Dixon.

Sometimes she was tempted to go down and shoot him in the face in the middle of the night. She’d get up in the morning though and Merle would go off for a few hours to load up. That was when Daryl sucked up to her and apologized. Gave her those big puppy eyes and told her he was sorry that Merle talked shit about her and couldn’t he make it up to her somehow? Then she’d forgive him. Forgive him for dragging her ass into the middle of the forest with his sexist older brother. They’d go to bed at night and mess around in the dark. After they finished he’d snore softly and she’d lay beside him plotting silently how best to kill the man sleeping in one of the bedrooms below them. And always she’d fall asleep before deciding if Daryl would be pleased or if he would ring her neck.

“Where’d the fuck you go woman?” Merle stomped up the stairs and swung the door open. “We don’t just keep you ‘round here to rub up on Daryl whenever he gets the urge. You got shit to do.”

Daryl ducked back down and began fiddling with the radio again. The station cut out abruptly and was replaced by static. Grace sighed. He was downright useless when it came to Merle picking on her. Sure if Merle actually did something to lay a hand on her, Daryl would jump to her defence. Until that moment though, she was on her own. In the last week she had been thinking about baiting Merle, just to see what Daryl would do for her. She wondered if subconsciously she hadn’t been doing that the night he slammed her up against the storage unit in the kitchen.

“Actually,” she spun around to face him. Merle was framed in the doorway still holding his fucking shirt, wrinkled and mud covered now from him tossing it at her and her stomping on it. “That pretty much is the only reason I’m here. You aren’t the boss of me Merle Dixon and if you think you are you better change that attitude pretty quick. I’m sick of your loud mouthed, king of the world routine. You need to start treating me with a little more respect.”

“Well lookie here,” He whistled low and took a step toward them. Grace held her ground. She had to fight her own battle for once. “Little chit’s grown some balls. Guess we know where yours went, huh, baby brother?”

“Merle,” Grace said slowly, “You need to walk right back out that door and not come back until you’ve had a nice stiff drink and aren’t going to act like such a prick.”

“A drink.” He chortled. “She wants me to have a drink. You hear that Daryl, your little cunt wants me to go have a drink. Well you know what,” he stomped. Daryl flinched. “I think I might just go do that. Fuck doing shit around here, I think I’ll just drive me into town and sit down to a nice cold one. I don’t think I’d be hearin’ no objections if I went an’ liberated a couple of smooth bottles from somewhere.” He swung his gun up on his shoulder and swaggered out the door. “And you’d best have my shirt washed when I get back.” He dropped the fabric before the screen door swung shut behind him.

A few minutes later they heard his bike roar to life and Merle whoop as he pulled out onto the road.

Grace walked over to the shirt and kicked it. “Damn it!”

“What?” Daryl questioned pushing the radio dial back into place, to get the station again.

“I gotta wash that now, don’t I?”

“It’s probably be a good idea.” He shrugged. “He did go an’ get hisself a drink like you told him to. I reckon that’s ‘bout as close as Merle gets to bein’ civil and sayin’ please.”

Grace swore. “I’m going to spend all damn day doing laundry.” She sighed, “Do you have anything you want done?”

Daryl stood up and pushed his chair back. “I’ll come with.”

“Oh really,” She teased, half-serious and still angry with Merle. “Wouldn’t want you to wrinkle those manly hands of yours would we, Dixon?”

“Shut up, Carter.” He grumbled back, but his lip quirked up.

One minute he would barely look at her and the next he was just too fucking cute for her to take. It was like she was running in circles. She was a goddamn hamster on a wheel when it came to Daryl Dixon. Oh well, at least with Merle gone maybe Daryl would be brave enough to act on the dirty looks he kept giving her. She missed the days where they had lazy afternoon sex after he got home from work and she was between shifts. She missed being able to cook naked together in the kitchen. She missed him brushing past her, playing with her hair when he thought no one was looking, holding her hand and then dropping it when he realized what he was doing. Their easy routine of not-dating but still getting all the perks. She even missed his stupid, tiny trailer and how if you left the bedroom door open you could see all the way into the living room. She missed him being open, not hiding behind a macho attitude. Now the only time he was half way affectionate was when Merle was nowhere to be found or they were locked up in the loft for bed. She missed seeing him naked in proper lighting.

They loaded up an old milk crate with all the dirty laundry and brought it down to the river. Daryl even carried the damn crate. Maybe it was shaping up to not be such a bad day after all. He set the crate down at the edge of the water and Grace reached for the bottle of laundry soap.

“I’m not sure exactly how clean this gets stuff but at least it smells like soap after.” Kneeling down, she soaked the shirt in her hand figuring that she would start with Merle’s stuff and get it out of the way. Dripping some of the blue stuff onto the shirt, she rubbed it together until it formed a bit of lather. Grace leaned down to rinse it off in the water, then she felt a sharp pinch on her butt. She turned to catch Daryl turned away, grin clear on his face.

She splashed some water at him grinning broadly. He flicked a handful back and grabbed a pair of his jeans. They washed clothes contentedly as the day grew hotter and hotter.

Grace stood and cracked her back. She was stiff from kneeling so long and her hands really were all wrinkly. Taking the wet clothes they had already washed, she began hanging them over nearby branches. She was sweating, could feel it trickling down her back and under her arms and between her thighs. Even behind her knees was damp.

“We need a clothes line,” she said turning back to face Daryl, almost bumping into him.

“Guess we could set something up.” He reached around her to hang up the sock he was holding.

“That’s it. One little sock?”

“I got distracted.” He took another step forward, crowding her toward a tree.

“Daryl,” she protested. Seriously, were they going to do this, again. By the water. She was all for getting down and dirty but the last time they had gotten close to getting naked outside, Merle had shown up.

“We’ll hear him drive up.” Daryl pushed his face into her neck, hands on either side of her head. The bark scratched her back but she couldn’t help but sigh.

“The bike is loud.” She conceded.

“And the laundry is all washed.”

“We could be productive while it, mmhm, dries.”

Daryl growled and kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth. She accepted willingly. This was the passion that she had been missing. She forgot about Merle for a moment and just let herself be thoroughly kissed, hands tugging at Daryl’s hair.

One can only spend so long pressed against a tree though and she couldn’t help but wince. Daryl pulled back almost immediately, worried. “What’s a matter?”

Grace bit her lip to try and stop the smile that his concerned expression brought to her face. “Trees hurt a little.” She leaned forward to kiss him gently. “It’s fine.”

“It sure as shit ain’t fine.” He seemed ready to stomp his feet and throw a temper tantrum like a child.

“Calm down, Daryl. It’s really okay. I’m just not all woodsy and stuff.” The knees of his pants were damp and muddy; his hair was sort of sticking up in little spikes, from sweat and her playing with it; and he was frowning like he had a hurt on for the whole world. He’d never looked cuter. She reached down to cup him softly through the cargo pants he’s wearing. “I never said I wanted to stop though.” The expression of surprise as she tightens her hand just a little then releases is enough to make her smile.

He grins back, before leaning forward to catch her mouth once again, tongue seeking entrance with persistent actions. She could tell Daryl was trying his damnedest to get his hands behind her and keep her off the stupid tree as much as he possibly could but really it was just making things less comfortable. It wasn’t exactly comfortable to be squeezed that closely for too long. She sighed into his mouth and worked her hands under his shirt, pushing it up just enough to give her access to the fly on his pants. Daryl inhaled sharply and Grace smiled into their kiss. 

Her fingers made quick work of the button and the zipper came open with enough sound to startle them both. She laughed and kissed him quickly before pushing at the pants to try and get them down over his hips. Daryl allowed her to work until she slowly fisted his dick, still only half hard but rapidly swelling. He twisted them then, leaning himself against the tree and giving her all the access she wanted.

Really, Grace thought, working her hand slowly, what’s another five, ten minutes on my knees. Slowly she sank down, trying to find a half comfortable place to settle. She had one hand on Daryl’s hip, the other wrapped around him. Daryl, for his part, was staring down at her with wide eager eyes. He could be such a teenage boy sometimes. She gave him a crooked smile and leaned forward to adjust his pants to give her better access to everything. She fondled his balls gently, applying just enough pressure to cause them to contract. Her other hand moved from his hip to the tip of his dick, thumb and fingers circling it, her thumb stroking the head when she pulled back.

Opening her mouth she licked down the shaft slowly, focused intently on what she was doing. From tip to root she mouthed along him, licking and kissing. He groaned.

Daryl would never admit it but Grace knew he just didn’t feel comfortable around her friends. She didn’t know why he had insisted on showing up that night. She was hosting a dinner party and about half of the people didn’t know him or he didn’t like. He had been sitting on the corner of her sectional looking like he was about ready to make a run for the door if anyone got too close to him.

She hadn’t really had anyone over in more than six months. Not since her mom had taken a turn for the worst and definitely not since her mom had died. Becky suggested it. Thank God for Becky. She had the sort of personality that no one could say no to. Sweet girl, very girl-next-door, can I borrow some sugar, I’m all out. She was one of the few people that knew about the change in Grace’s relationship with Daryl. They were barely a month and a half into being friends with benefits and though most people suspected, the list of people that could confirm was barely enough to fill one hand.

“Hey Dixon.” Becky called across the room. “Want another beer?”

Daryl looked down at the one in his hand, still half full and nodded. “Yeah sure, if yer up.” He tipped his head back, drinking quickly to finish the bottle. He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand when he came back up for air. The blonde girl offered him a fresh bottle in exchange, looking down at him smugly.

“You know,” she whispered, her tone teasing, “no one here bites or nothing. You could talk to some people.”

“I’m fine.” Daryl grunted, cracking open the beer.

“Grant,” Becky turned suddenly to a clean shaven guy wearing a polo shirt. Daryl winced knowing exactly what she was going to do.

“Leave it” he muttered but she just grinned. He caught Grace’s eye from across the room and she shrugged. She was too busy trying to keep Amber from rearranging her cupboards to make them more “open and accessible”.

“What?” Grant asked.

“You have a motorcycle you’re trying to fix up, right?”

“Yeah, it’s just this old Harley my granddad’s had sitting in the garage since before I was born.”

“Here,” Becky turned to Daryl. “Daryl, Grant. Grant, Daryl. Daryl knows bikes.” And she walked away.

When Grace had returned after finally wrangling Amber and directing her out of the kitchen. Daryl was quite openly talking with several of the other guys. Forty-five minutes ago he had not been this chatty. In fact, he had been downright sullen. Mind you, he was a bit drunk but at least he was talking. Then she realized what the conversation was about.

“So I said, I’d really rather you didn’t stick that there.” Grant shivered theatrically. “Needless to say, I no longer date girls whose online profiles describe them as being ‘a little on the kinky side’.”

“I dated a girl is high school,” Thomas said, “Face like a hoover. You know like the vacuum? Always felt like I was going to lose a nut when she gave me a blowjob.”

“No such thing as a bad blowjob.” Daryl stated, sipping wisely at his beer. “Girls gonna stick yer dick in her mouth, you better appreciate that. Second best thing in the world, getting’ blowjobs.”

“Oh god.” Grace whined softly and moved to stop him. He had apparently been drinking more heavily than she thought because those were not sober Daryl words.

Becky reached out a hand and held her back. “Oh no, I want to see where this is going.”

“I know where this is going and I don’t want to see any more. Daryl is a car wreck when he’s had too much to drink. He’s going to embarrass himself.” She added quietly. “Or me.”

“Second best thing?” Grant looked at Daryl quizzically.

“Yup.” Daryl noded.

“I can’t hear this.” Grace turned away.

“Well what’s the first?”

“What’s the first?” Becky whispered. Grace put her hands over her face, cheeks already heating up. He was going to regret this more than anything in the morning. He was going to wake-up, remember and be sullen and bitter for the rest of the day, maybe longer. He would go back to grunting and acting like a caveman. He would never again show-up at one of her dinner parties.

“Eatin’ pussy.” He smacked his lips.

Grace groaned, beside her Becky burst into giggles. She shot her a dirty look. “That isn’t funny.”

“That’s hilarious. I like him when he’s had too much to drink. Maybe if he’d loosen up a bit he’d actually have a good time once and a while.”

Grace groaned again. This time Daryl heard her and looked up. He winked at her and she turned on her heel to run back to the kitchen.

He hadn’t mentioned anything when he woke-up the next day. In fact, he had practically ignored her the entire day. That was until he slunk in the next night while Grace was working, trying to hide himself from almost everyone. Becky had gotten there first and Grace raced to stop her.

“What’ll it be tonight, Dixon?” Becky said, pen poised on her notepad.

“Just a beer.” He muttered.

“Not eating anything tonight?” She mused. “We don’t have it on the menu but I’m sure Grace could arrange for you to get some pussy.”

He groaned, dropped his head to the counter and muttered something along the lines of, “Kill me now.”

“Yer killin’ me.” He whined, grabbing a fist full of her hair and tugging her closer to his dick.

“Well we can’t have that now can we?” Finally she slid her lips around him. He sighed happily, fingers relaxing against her scalp and guiding her more than pushing. It was strange how content she was like this. One hand gripped firmly around him, jerking him off; the other resting against his thigh, kneading strategically to keep him from bucking; lips over her teeth; tongue teasing. Grace looked up to catch his eyes as she sucked him off.

Before Daryl, blowjobs were methodical. If she could get them done then they could get to the good stuff. She hadn’t even been too pleased when she started blowing Daryl. She did it more out of reciprocation than anything else. Sometimes just because she felt she owed him for the amount of time he spent with his face between her legs.

Oral sex was like an art form to Daryl Dixon. He hated to admit it and were his brother to find out there would be more than a little good natured ribbing. It had been made quite clear from the beginning that Dixon men did not have relationships and foreplay was border-lining on getting to know someone. Dixons just got off and got out. There was no dinner and a movie, there was no careful discovery. Merle’s idea of foreplay was buying someone a shot so their panties dropped a little quicker. He was actually quite proud of his ability to leave women ‘rode hard and put away wet’. From what she had known their dad was the same way. Grace had never quite figured out how the brothers had ended up staying in their father’s custody. Their upbringing raised enough questions but the circumstances around their mother’s death raised a whole lot more.

She didn’t know where he had figured out to do half the shit he came up with but sometimes he would tell stories of watching porn with Merle when he was just six or seven. It was always offhanded, like this sort of stuff happened to everyone. She didn’t really want to know more about that. The thing was he was good. Very, very good. And he enjoyed himself just as much when he was eating her out as he did fucking her or getting sucked off. So one night when she wasn’t working and they’d both had a few too many beers she had asked him. Sprawled out in her backyard, watching the stars and making-out like teenagers, with his hands up her skirt she had asked him, “How come you’re so happy to go down on me all the time?”

Had he been sober. Had there been other people around. Had the situation been in any way different he probably wouldn’t have answered. Instead he leaned down and whispered, “Because Carter, when I eat you out – I own you.” Then he kissed the tip of her nose, like it was no big deal.

So she began watching more closely. She actually got excited for the chance to suck him off. She learned him. The differences between his outward appearance and what he was like when they were alone. The differences when he actually let go and just was. He built up a wall, even against her, but sometimes when they made eye contact while his dick was between her lips, his eyes were alive. That was how she knew. One day. Eventually he would give in.

He might own her but she owned him too.

“Graaace.” He whined. “Don’t tease.”

Once more she twirled her tongue around him, poking at the slit, lapping up precum. Grace pulled back with a pop, wiped her mouth with her free hand and continued to fist him. “Or what?” She tightened her hand on the down stroke. His balls contracted tightly and she couldn’t help but laugh. This was why Daryl loved going down on her. The flush, the little noises, the threats and begging. It was all worth the sore jaw.

He tugged urgently on her hair and she rolled her eyes. “Ah, ah, ah.” She scolded lightly but complied easily once his hands relaxed. Of course when she engulfed him again, they balled back up. Some things could not be helped. Already she could feel the way his legs were caught between trembling and locking. He was breathing heavily now, she couldn’t help but feel pleased with herself. She moved the hand around his dick to cup his balls, rolling them and applying the lightest of pressure.

“Uuunnngh.” He said above her. She looked up one last time to find the he had finally shut his eyes and thrown his head back. When Daryl gave up on watching he was close, very, very close. She slowed down considerably pulling back to just blow cool air across his spit drenched skin. His eyes shot open immediately and she smirked at him, holding the stare as she resumed her worship. Fast, short bobbing, but it was the eye contact that did him in. She knew it. He came almost suddenly, body going ridged and his hips pushing forward in short, cutting motions. Grace pulled back swallowing what was in her mouth and wiping at her chin where the spit and cum leaked out.

“Yer… fucking… perfect…” He panted, pulling her up off her knees.

“You aren’t so bad yourself.” She smiled.

“Come ‘ere.” He pulled her roughly to him, pushing his tongue eagerly past her lips. He held her close and kissed her thoroughly for a few minutes before pulling back. “We doin’ this here or inside.” He mumbled against her lips.

She thought about it for a moment. How long had they been out here already? Did she really want to risk getting even more worked up and naked only to be interrupted when his brother came back? “Inside?” She asked hopefully.

“Ya really don’t wanna get caught do ya?” He smirked. “Told you plenty of times I don’t like sharin’, so don’t you start worryin’ that Merle’s gonna try something just cause he got a good look.”

Grace reached down, grumpy with his teasing, and grabbed his dick, tightly. Not tight enough to do any sort of damage, just enough to let him know she was displeased. He flinched.

“Okay, okay. Calm down, woman! Jesus! What’s he ever do to you?!”

“Merle or your dick? Merle’s a perv and your dick is letting your other head do too much talking.”

“Fine, we’ll take it inside.” Daryl gave her a gentle kiss. “Already had you on yer knees in the dirt too long.” He reached down to tuck himself away and hitch his pants up onto his hips. He left the fly undone. It made Grace smile. He knew he wouldn’t be keeping them on much longer anyway. “Come on.” He tugged on her hand, locking his fingers with hers. They walked up to the cabin together, laundry still laying out drying on the trees.

—-

They were laying in bed, Daryl dozing softly beside her and Grace wrapped around his side when she heard the wheels on gravel. She woke-up abruptly, outside the engine cut out. There was no way that was Merle’s bike.

“Dare,” She pushed at him. He woke slowly, looking at her curiously. “Someone’s in the yard.” She whispered. Her voice sounded more panicked then she realized she felt.

“So Merle’s home. Go to sleep. He ain’t gonna come up here and harass us if he knows what’s good for him.” Daryl snorted and closed his eyes again, pulling her tight against him. “Quit’cher worryin’.”

“Did you hear a bike engine?” She pressed further.

He cracked one eye open. “No.” He answered slowly.

Grace pulled herself out of his embrace and stood up on the bed. The loft had small windows at either end which they kept open for ventilation. It was because of them that she had heard the engine at all. Peeking through the pane, she strained to see as much of the yard as she could. Daryl was already sitting up in bed, scouting the room. She didn’t know if he was after his clothes or the shotgun.

“What’d you see?”

“SUV of some kind. There’s a guy getting out of it.” And he was. The man had a good tan and a thick head of black hair. He had a gun in his hands that didn’t looking like it was made for hunting and the way he held it, Grace knew he would know how to use it. “He’s got a gun.” She turned to look at Daryl.

“Well shit.” He tugged on his pants and she sat down on the bed beside him, both of them hurrying to get their clothes on.

“I don’t supposed we could hope Merle made friends?” She asked.

Daryl gave her a dirty look. They both knew Merle didn’t play well with others. He stood up, zipped his fly and grabbed the gun from beside the bed. “Stay here.”

“Um, no?!” She jumped off the bed and scooped her underwear off the floor. Hopping on one foot she tugged them on awkwardly while trying to get to her pants. “You can’t just leave me up here to hide.”

“Can and I will.” He stated firmly.

She dragged her pants up her legs. “And what am I supposed to do if something happens to you?” Bending down she reached for her bra and pulled it up to fasten it into place.

“Stay.” He repeated and left her alone.

“DARYL!” Grace hissed after him, tugging her shirt on hurriedly. She followed him, descending the stairs as quickly as she could. She caught a glimpse of the man in the yard still walking around his vehicle anxiously, checking, searching – for infected or people she wasn’t sure. Daryl had his back to her, he stood beside the kitchen table where most of the weapons had been laid out for easy access. He quickly loaded the double barrel and crept toward the door.

Daryl stood on the porch, gun raised and aimed at the man. When the man came around the side of the car he caught Daryl’s eyes. “Whoa!” He exhaled. “Easy there. I don’t mean any harm.”

“Get lost then.” Daryl grunted.

The man raised his own gun, shinier, newer, probably worth more. “Just hear me out. I just want some water. We’ve been on the road a long time. Thought we could stay in the cabin but since it’s clearly already got occupants, I’d just like some water and maybe a chance for the others to wash up quickly before we head out. We aren’t a threat. We just want some water.”

“Don’t matter to me much if you have water or not. Yer not staying here. Move on further down the river.”

“It’s washed out most of the way along. Too steep. We can’t risk losing someone. Please, just some water and we’ll be gone. We’ve got a kid. I don’t want anything to happen to him.”

Daryl stiffened the smallest bit. Her heart went out to whoever this guy was. He wasn’t here to harm them. He sure didn’t look like he was army or anything.

“Look we just got around the road blocks. Trying to get to Atlanta. We’ve been on the road for a couple of days. People tend to bunch up around cities so we took back roads all the way down here.”

“Ain’t my fault you got problems.” The barrel of the gun never wavered. Grace slowly moved behind Daryl. Under her feet a floorboard groaned quietly and she saw his eyes dart toward her. His mouth pulled tight as he acknowledged her.

“It’s just a little water, man.” The other man was saying. “We won’t stay long. We really don’t want any trouble.”

“Daryl,” Grace whispered. He twitched, she knew he was listening to her. “Let them stay. Please. We can help them. There’s a whole damn river full of water.”

He grunted. “Shut it.” Daryl tried to hush her.

“Listen, I understand you’ve got to protect your place and whoever else you’ve got with you but we really don’t want any trouble.” The man was saying.

“How many?” Daryl growled.

“What?” The man asked perplexed.

“How many you got with you?”

“With me there’s Lori and Carl, he’s the boy. Then there’s Dale’s group, he’s got two women with him. Sisters. We just met up with them a couple of days ago, on the other side of the border. None of us are really cut out for surviving. We should have rationed our supplies better but we’re down to just a couple of bottles of water.”

Six: two men, three women and a kid. What harm could they really do?

“I don’t want it to come to this but we really need that water.” He cocked the gun in his hands. “How’s about we just do this the easy way?”

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” Daryl sneered at the other man’s gun.

The man chuckled, darkly. “Before all this shit went down I was a sheriff believe it or not. I’m at least as good as a redneck son of a bitch that’s living in a shack in the woods.”

Grace stepped up behind Daryl and rested her hand at the base of his spine. His muscles were tense, he held himself in ridged posture, hands never wavering. “Maybe you should point that somewhere else before you start insulting people.” She growled, her opinion of the man changing quickly.

“How’s about you tell your boyfriend here to point his somewhere else?”

“My place, my rules.” Daryl snarled and shifted to push Grace away. “Told you to wait in the house,” he hissed.

“The two of you are going to kill each other,” she hissed back.

“Gonna kill him first though.” Daryl muttered.

Grace turned back to the other man. “What’s your name?” It was only the thought of the kid that made her want to do something. The other man could go to hell for all she cared. Still if that kid needed water she had to convince Daryl to let the man say his piece.

He froze for a moment and even Daryl turned to look at her bewildered. “Um, it’s Shane.”

“Well Shane, I’m Grace and this is Daryl. How about you put the gun down and then we can talk reasonably about getting your people some water. Daryl’s got a temper and I’m sure his finger is getting itchy just sitting there.”

“How’s about you make him put down the gun first?”

“Our place, our rules,” Grace repeated Daryl’s earlier statement.

The tension was heavy, she was sure she could see sweat beading on the other man’s face as he considered the offer. Slowly he began to lower his arms. “Alright,” he finally relented. “I really don’t want any trouble.”

Daryl didn’t relax his gun, “Go on. Go get your people then, ‘fore I change my mind.”

Shane turned back to his SUV and hopped in. “I’ll be back in a few. They’re just up the road a bit.” He started the vehicle, put it in reverse and pulled quickly out of the driveway.

Grace smiled at the retreating vehicle. “Wasn’t that easi…”

“I told you to fuckin’ stay upstairs.”

“Relax, nothing happened.”

Daryl spun around and forced her against wall, pinning her with his body, gun hanging at his side. Grace winced at the force. He had never been aggressive with her before.

“Daryl, calm down.”

“Dontchoo tell me to fuckin’ calm down. You coulda got us both killed. Think you’re so damn smart dontcha? Well what if he hadn’t been so easy to give in. What then? What about when I have to shoot him? You gonna be happy then? What about when his people show up and it’s five to two with a kid in the mix and they want to throw us out. This ain’t the old world, Carter.” He was talking so forcefully that she could feel flecks of spittle against her cheeks. Grace winced at the power of his words. “Fuck! I gotta go clean up the guns. Don’t want them findin’ out what sort of firepower we got in here.” He released her looking over to the table. “Don’t get yerself in any more fuckin’ trouble.” Daryl turned to go back into the house.

Grace stood alone on the porch rubbing at the shoulder Daryl had knocked too hard, tears in her eyes. Maybe Daryl and Merle were brothers after all. She shook herself and wiped her eyes. Looking toward the cabin, she stiffened her posture. So what if Daryl was angry with her? Maybe he just needed to relax and let people in every once and a while. It wouldn’t hurt them to have another couple of people around here. She stepped off the porch and walked toward the water going to check on the laundry.

It looked like they were going to have company, at least for a little while.


	5. Chapter Four

Shane pulled back into the yard, gravel crunching under the tires. Grace was just coming up from the water, dried clothes in the milk crate. Shane was driving, he nodded at Grace as she walked toward the cabin. In the front seat beside him was a young boy, who seemed excited. The back was occupied by the lady who she assumed was the boy’s mother. Unlike her son she seemed worried. Behind them was a medium sized RV. Grace couldn’t see who was diving it.

Shane hopped out first. Grace waved to him nervously, balancing the crate on one hip as she stood in the middle of the yard. “Hey again.”

Daryl came storming out of the house behind her, making her jump. He was still swinging his gun from one hand. “So you decided to come back?”

“Still going to let us have our water?”

“Stop being so hostile.” Grace whispered to Daryl who snorted.

“I want to see all yer people.”

Shane nodded and helped the boy and woman out of the SUV. The door opened to the RV and out got an older man and two blonde women. “Lori,” the woman, “and Carl.” The boy. “The man who owns the RV is Dale and that’s Andrea and Amy with him.”

Dale stepped forward slightly. “We’d really like to thank you for what you’re doing for us.”

“No trouble.” Grace smiled a little. It was nice to have someone other than Daryl and Merle to talk to. “Do you guys have something to hold the water?”

“Yeah a couple of gallon pails,” one of the blonde women said. “Do you mind if we wash up a bit? We haven’t seen this much water a while. And Dale wants to look at the RV. It’s always breaking down.”

“Should never have bought the thing second hand.” The old man chuckled. “It’ll be easier to do it here in the yard.”

Daryl grunted in acknowledgment. He was angry, Grace could tell from the way his jaw clenched but he was so used to everyone pushing him around that unless someone started something he would just slink off to the shadows.

“I’ll show you the easiest way to get down to the water.” Grace offered, eyeing Daryl carefully for his approval. He was still casting a distrustful glance at the newcomers but at least his grip on the gun wasn’t so tight. “Just let me get the clothes up to the cabin.” She shifted the crate.

“Here, let me help.” Shane rushed forward. “It looks heavy.”

“No it’s fine…” She started to say, but the dark haired man had already taken it from her grip and was walking towards the house. “Thanks.” She muttered.

Shane walked calmly toward the cabin and up the stairs. “Where do you want this? Inside?”

Daryl stepped in Shane’s way, blocking him from getting to the front door. “Don’t wan’choo inside none. You can stay out here in the yard but don’t get no ideas about goin’ inside.”

“Relax,” Shane tried to calm him. “I was just being helpful.”

“We don’t need yer help none. Way I remember things you were the ones comin’ ‘round here askin’ for our help.”

“Can’t a guy pay back a favour?” Shane questioned no one in particular.

“Daryl, he’s not trying anything. Just leave him be.” Grace hurried to get between the two men.

“Still don’t want none of them in the house.”

She took the crate from Shane, thanking him quietly. “It’d probably be better if I just took them inside myself.”

“Was just trying to help.” He mumbled.

Daryl let Grace past and she brought the crate inside setting it down on the table and returning quickly. “So who’s up for a wash up?” She tried to smile.

“I’m dying for clean hair!” the younger of the blond girls grinned.

“Come on Carl.” Lori said, calling to her son.

The boy protested, “Aw, Mom! Can’t I help out with Shane and Dale?”

“We’ll makes sure he gets cleaned up with us after, Lori.” The white haired man said evenly. “Growing boy doesn’t need to be around women all the time.”

“Shane?” Lori asked, seeking someone to resist.

He pulled off his ball cap and scratched his head. “Fine by me so long as he promises to listen to instructions and not wander off.”

“I promise!” Carl nodded eagerly.

“Well that’s settled then.” Grace stepped to move past Shane when Daryl’s voice stopped her.

“Carter,” he spoke softly and Grace turned back to look at him, curious. “About before,” He froze, eyes pleading with her to understand.

Damn it all to hell, she could only be mad at Daryl for so long. “I know. We’ll talk about it after.”

“A’right. I don’t want nothin’ happenin’ to you though.” Daryl sniffed and pulled up the hem of his shirt to reveal a handgun. He removed the gun from his waistband and pressed it into her open hand. “If anyone gets stupid, don’t hesitate to shoot ‘em in the head.”

Had his eye not been so dark, she probably would have protested but she could see Daryl was going to stand firm on this. She accepted the gun, which she really had no clue how to use other than point-aim-pull trigger, allowing Daryl to help slide the cold metal against her hip bone. He gently brought down her shirt and smoothed the fabric, holding on just a moment too long.

“Thanks.” She whispered, shocked by his sudden need for her to carry a firearm. She turned to leave again and he reached out for her, fingers catching her wrist. Spinning her around quickly, he pressed his mouth down on hers in a rough kiss. His lips were dry and he held her a bit too tightly but he was kissing her. She had never been so shocked in her life. He pulled back as quickly as he had first started the kiss and immediately brought his thumb to his lips.

Nervously Daryl chewed at his cuticle, “I mean it.”

“I know,” she smile at him softly, waiting for him to break eye contact before she turned to leave again. On the porch beside them, Shane was carefully analyzing their movements. Still shocked, Grace ignored him and walked towards the women.

“So what’d you say about that washing up? It’s easiest if we go down this way.”

The three women followed behind her, holding bundles of fresh clothes and towels, as she led them down the rough trail to the water. The older blonde was better than the other two at keeping her balance but still Grace pointed out the easiest places to step and where to hold on to branches if need be. When they reached the edge of the water, the ground levelled out to form a flat area resembling a beach. Grace couldn’t stop her eyes from straying to the tree Daryl had leaned against not to long before.

“Do you mind if we just…” The older blonde gestured at pulling off her shirt and Grace laughed caught off guard in the middle of her day dream.

“Go right ahead.” She shrugged. “I’m not shy.”

“Great,” The other woman shrugged off the shirt and began tug her hiking boots off. “I want this more than I’ve wanted anything in a very long time.”

The other two women followed suit, stripping down to their underwear and stepping slowly into the cold water.

Lori shivered as she reached her knees. “This is actually a lot colder than I thought it would be.”

“It’s because the water is moving so much, I think.” Grace offered.

The younger blonde suddenly dove forward, coming up quickly again a short distance away and shaking her hair out of her eyes. “Wow, okay. Yeah cold.” The women all laughed.

Taking a more cautious approach the older blonde splashed some water on her stomach. “Here we are, the end of the world and I’m making introductions in my underwear.” She turned back to where Grace was sitting on a rock at the shore. “Andrea, by the way.”

“Grace.” Grace replied.

“Amy, Andrea’s sister.” The younger blonde paddled around.

“Lori. I’m Carl’s mum. He’s the boy that stayed with Shane and Dale.”

“Shane is like his dad? Step-dad?” Grace tried conversationally.

Amy and Andrea looked at Lori. The other woman stopped and softly shook her head. “No, um he’s not.” She swallowed. “Carl’s father died. Just a little while ago actually.”

“Was he…?”

“No, he was in the hospital when it happened. Shane is Rick’s best friend. They work together. Both Sheriffs. Shane tried to get him out of the hospital but…”

“Shit, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s okay.” Grace could see Lori was fighting back tears and she felt incredibly guilty. “You didn’t know. Shane’s been good to us though. Came to get us and got us safely out of town.”

“Daryl came to get me.” Grace offered. “Got me to leave work in the middle of a shift and everything. Guess it doesn’t really matter now.”

“That’s good of him.” Lori nodded, smiling a little. She wiped her eyes as discreetly as she could.

“Dale found us stuck on the side of the road outside Nashville where our car had broken down.” Amy offered. “He’s nice and the RV makes sleeping pretty easy on the road.”

“We’re here with Daryl’s older brother, Merle.” Grimacing as she said the name, Grace continued. “He’s a treat but at least we’ve got beds and somewhere sort of secure outside of town. It’s their family hunt camp. I’m not really a camper.”

“I wasn’t either.” Amy said. “Now look us.” She gestured to the water around them.

 

Grace shifted against the rock. The gun was a strange weight on her hip. She didn’t like it there. Somehow it made her feel more venerable than she had before Daryl had given it to her. Even if something happened she wasn’t sure that she could use it.

“Is he always like that?” Andrea asked suddenly.

Grace blinked at her. “What? Who?”

“Your boyfriend. Is he always like that?”

Thoughts of the gun pushed aside, Grace chuckled. “Firstly he’s not my boyfriend, secondly is he always like what?”

“Possessive. For someone who’s not your boyfriend, he pretty much peed on your leg back there.”

“Peed on my leg?”

“Like a dog marking his territory. It was quite the kiss. Guess someone didn’t like Shane helping you out.” Andrea shrugged and went back to scrubbing her scalp.

“You’re joking right?”

“Nope.”

“Wow,” Grace said softly. Maybe things with Daryl really were changing. Maybe this was the step forward she had been looking for. Their strange, sexually exclusive relationship had been going on for two and a half years now. Maybe things were finally progressing? “No, he’s not usually like that. At all.” She tried to remember the last time he had kissed her in public. Usually not unless there was alcohol involved, that was for sure. Had he ever kissed her around other people while sober? She couldn’t think of a time. Not one.

Andrea gave her a pointed look. “Honestly? I thought he was going to shoot Shane in the face.”

“It’s a definite possibility.” Grace shrugged. “He’s pissed because I got in between him and Shane when he first got here. We were fighting about it. Both of us needed to cool down a little.”

“Seemed a lot like jealously to me.”

Grace shrugged. “Daryl doesn’t like people interfering and I maybe stepped into some territory he wasn’t quite comfortable with. He’s just worried I’m going to stay mad at him.”

“Would you?”

“For a little while maybe. We’ve had our fights before but it’s not usually serious. He’s got a temper though and it gets the better of him sometimes. Dixons don’t usually play well with others.”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

“Daryl’s not a bad guy. That’s Merle you have to watch out for. Daryl’s just protective. He doesn’t want something to happen to me.”

“He’s got a bit of a point. You’re better off being safe than sorry right now. I’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff happen since the world fell apart.”

“We’ve got enough trouble here waiting for Merle to come back. You’d better hope you’re gone before he makes an appearance. Daryl’s the Welcome Wagon compared to Merle.”

Amy rinsed her t-shirt in the water. “Where’d he go, anyway?”

Grace wasn’t too sure how much exactly she wanted to give away. These people were virtual strangers after all and she had already said quite a bit. She had missed other people though. People that cared about talking, getting to know her, more than just what she could do for them. She missed having other women around. She missed people other than Merle and Daryl Dixon. Grace had spent so long wanting to get rid of other people so it could be just her and Daryl that she had really sort of forgotten that he and Merle were a packaged deal. You couldn’t love one brother without getting the second, like a sick prize in your cereal box. The worst part was, she at least knew what to expect from the brothers. These strangers were a different story. Maybe Daryl had the right idea and she shouldn’t be so quick to buddy up with them. “He went into town for a bit.” She tried to answer as carefully as possible. “He shouldn’t be back before too long.”

“The town about forty, forty-five minutes from here?” Lori asked quietly.

“Yeah, what about it.”

“We had to drive through it to get here. It’s, well, it didn’t look too good. Most of it is full of walkers. I don’t think there’s too much left of town.”

“Walkers?”

“People that come back. Walkers.”

Her heart sank. “We lost the local radio station yesterday but I figured they just gave up, you know. Went home to their families to wait it out. There were army people at the hospital. They were keeping it under control I thought. There have been rumours though. Crazy rumours. You know how people are when they’re scared.” She could feel her eyes begin to itch, a sure sign that any moment the waterworks would hit. She sniffed to try and fight them off.

“Oh hun.” The dark haired woman looked guilty. Her face clearly said she thought Grace had known.

Deep down Grace had known. This wasn’t really a matter of waiting for someone to come rescue them. There really wasn’t anything to go back to. She looked at the faces of the women in the water. None of them met her stare and she knew. Her friends, her small remaining family, her work, her life. It was all gone.

“Are you alright?” Andrea asked softly.

Grace didn’t have an answer.

“We were road tripping when everything hit. It was this truck stop in the middle of nowhere.” the younger blonde girl started. “Things were pretty crazy. We saw everything. It was panic. People were trying to escape or fight and they were just getting attacked right in front of us. It was awful and all I could think of was how I was for sure not going to make it back for the start of my classes. I don’t even know what happened back home.”

“I left my best friend. When Daryl came to get me, we were at work together and I just left her there.”

“We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.”

Grace nodded. She fell silent as she struggled not to cry.

Andrea finished first and wadded slowly out of the water to fetch her towel. The other two were close behind. Lori came up beside Grace quietly and rested her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” The dark haired woman whispered quietly.

“Me too.” Grace wiped her eyes swiftly.

“Mom? You about done down there?” The boy called from beyond the top of the embankment.

“Just about.” Lori called up to her son. “We’ll be up in a few minutes.”

“They’re all done fixing the RV again and I want to go swimming. Shane says he’s gross and sweaty. It’s hot!” Carl whined.

“Don’t be impatient.” The dark haired woman gave Grace a final pat and gathered her wet clothes in her arms, wringing out her wet jeans.

Grace stood, the weight of the gun on her hip dragging her down just as much as the weight of knowing. She led the group up the hill. Daryl was sitting on the stairs carefully skinning a rabbit. Carl and the men smiled as they moved past the group and down towards the water. The women went to hang up their wet clothes on trees around the camp and Grace went up to Daryl.

“We need to talk.”

“Oh yeah?” He grunted, swiping the back of his hand across his sweaty hair, a fleck of something caught on his forehead and streaked it. She fought the urge to clean it.

“Inside?” He raised an eyebrow. “Unless you’d rather talk where everyone can hear.”

Daryl stood. Dropping the carcass into the small pail he had been sitting over. He gestured with grimy hands for her to lead the way. Grace went in first with Daryl close behind. Once inside, Daryl went over to the sink and used the bucket of water Grace kept there to washed his hands. Grace was grateful for it, at least something she said to him was rubbing off. Then he wiped them off on his pants instead of drying them properly. Oh well, you could only do so much.

“Well,” he brought his thumb to his mouth and gnawed at it awkwardly. He really didn’t do serious conversations well.

“I want them to stay.”

Daryl snorted. “Not happenin’.”

“It’s been almost a week since we’ve seen anyone. Don’t you think that’s a little strange?”

He shrugged, “Not really. Not many folk come up this way. Was kinda the point of being here and all.”

“How much longer do you think this is going to last? How long can we eat canned food and boil water? How long until the generator tank runs out?”

His face creased. “Well ‘scuse me for bringin’ you with us. Didn’t know it was such a bother.”

“You didn’t answer. How long do you think we can go on like this? Why isn’t help coming? What happened to the radio signal?”

“So what? You wanna share, is that what yer sayin’. If this really is a lot worse than we thought it was, don’tcha think this’d be the time to not be takin’ in strangers.”

“At least they know some of what’s going on out there. Everyone in town is gone, Daryl. They drove through there. It’s empty. Nothing but Infected left.”

“So people peaced out, same as we did.”

“People died. I know you hate everyone but I had friends. My friends are dead, Daryl. I miss them. I didn’t realize it until seeing the girls but I miss people. I miss having people around.”

“I ain’t good enough for you no more?”

“It’s different. I need a little bit of girl time.”

 

“They ain’t staying.” Daryl slammed his foot into the ground, trying to make Grace see reason.

“It’ll be one night. They can leave tomorrow morning. First thing.”

“They ain’t stray dogs, Grace.” He hissed. “Ya can’t just take ‘em in and coddle ‘em. Sure don’t think most of ‘em would do much harm but I don’t like the look of that cop none.”

“Shane will behave himself if you just let them stay for a bit. They just need a place to camp for the night. Not even in the cabin at all. They have their own food and their own place to sleep. They only thing of ours they’re going to use is the outhouse.”

“Merle’s going to be pissed.”

“Well he isn’t here yet, is he?” Grace was beginning to wonder if he was coming back at all. It was getting late and the other Dixon brother had yet to return. Usually when he stumbled off it was an hour or two, tops, before he was back leering and crude as if nothing had happened.

“All the more reason not to have strangers in the fuckin’ yard. What if they do somethin’ while we’re upstairs sleepin’.”

Grace looked out the window where the camper was in plain sight. Lori and Andrea were going through supplies they had laid out on the ground. Dale was in a heated debate with Amy over the state of a belt or something for the RV. Carl was begging Shane to take him down to the water to go swimming. They didn’t look like much of a threat.

With news of the town having fallen to walkers or the infected or whatever they were called, Grace felt her world closing in. For the first time in almost a week she wondered what had become of Becky and Amber and Grant and all her other friends in town. Daryl might not need human contact but she did. As much as she knew he would keep his hands to himself while they were around, another part of her realized that the only way she had survived their relationship so far was having someone to fall back on when she started doubting herself. She needed girl friends again.

“They won’t.” She stared him down, begging silently until finally he pursed his lips.

“One night.” Daryl relented. “They’re gone tomorrow morning but you gotta keep a piece on you at all times. I don’t want them getting’ the wrong idea.”

“Thank-you.” She bit back her urge to kiss him, knowing full well he wouldn’t appreciate it. It was just as bad as having Merle around but at least no one from this group called her a stupid whore.

—-

Daryl insisted on everyone sleeping outside even though there was a spare room in the cabin. Merle still wasn’t back at night fall but the other Dixon seemed unconcerned about his brother. As it started to get darker out, Shane pulled some brush together and lit a camp fire. Relenting, Daryl did in fact share and they ate the rabbit roasted on spits over the fire. Carl seemed to find the whole thing hilarious but Grace noticed the women going a little green. The smell of fresh roasted meat eventually tempted them and even picky Amy had a small try of rabbit.

He didn’t show it well but Grace could tell Daryl was smug, almost pleased with himself over his hobby of shooting small animals being useful for once. Instead of joining Grace and the group around the fire he spent his time glaring and sitting on the porch with a battery powered lantern cleaning guns that he had already cleaned the night before.

“I feel as I should thank him or something.” Lori said quietly serving another small helping of rice onto Carl’s plate. Carl thanked his mom and dug in. The rice was plain, white minute rice but it went well with fresh meat and the little bit of canned gravy they mixed it with.

“It would be better if we just let him be right now. He’s in a mood.” Grace rinsed her own plate into the large bin of water they had boiled for doing dishes in. It would have been nice to have help carrying them inside after but Daryl was holding firm on the strangers don’t come in rule. The “table” the wash-up bins were on was made from the three logs and long sheet of plywood she had used when the pump wasn’t hooked up. She picked up the wash cloth and ran it over the plate.

The dark haired woman sighed and cast a long glance at the man on the porch. Grace to tell she was thinking hard. Deliberately, Lori picked up one of the cleaned plates and served rice, meat and veggies, covering the whole mess with the last of the gravy. She held out the plate to Grace. “I’ll finish up the dishes.”

Grace nodded, drying her hands on a dish towel and accepting the plate. She quietly walked away from the warmth and light of the fire and toward Daryl. He looked up briefly to acknowledge her and turned back to the gun. “Coming to eat over here?” He asked, not looking at her.

“This is yours.” He looked up confused and she continued. “Lori made you a plate. Be grateful.” She held it out to him.

Daryl cautiously set the gun down and rubbed the oil that stained his fingers off on a shop rag he pulled from his back pocket. He held his hands out and took the plate. Balancing it on one knee and picking up the fork, he took his first slow bite. “Ain’t bad.” He mumbled, swallowing. “You can sit if you want.”

“Do you really want me to?”

He squinted up at her from his plate and whispered, “Always want you.” Her heart melted just a little to him. Daryl set the plate down beside the gun and patted the step beside him. She gave in and sat heavily, body turned away from him just enough to tell him she still hadn’t completely forgiven him. Daryl dropped his hand to lightly cover hers and rubbed the rough pad of his thumb against her knuckles, dropping down to circle the star on the back of her hand. “You better look at me ‘cause I’m only sayin’ this once, alright.” Grace looked up at him and for once he held her stare. “I came to get you for a reason. I ain’t losing you now. I shouldn’t have gone after you the way I did. It weren’t right and you don’t deserve that. Been thinkin’ on what you was sayin’ and you need people. Ain’t gonna like it. Ain’t gonna play nice or treat them any different than I would anyone else. Still don’t trust ‘em none but I don’t want you startin’ to think ‘bout leavin’ with them. If they gotta stay to keep you happy then go on and tell them ‘cause yer stayin’ where I can look after you.”

“Really?” She whispers.

“Said I wasn’t sayin’ it again.” He grunted, turning away but not stopping his hand massage.

“Thanks, Dare.”

“Don’t go spreading it around that I’m soft on you.”

“I would never.”

“You still mad?”

“Not really.”

“‘Kay, well can you get the huggin’ or whatever it is yer twitchin’ to do to me out of yer system now so I can stop waitin’ for it and eat supper.”

Grace smiled and pulled herself closer to lean against him. He brought his arm up awkwardly to rub against her shoulder and she burrowed herself deeper into his side. “Don’t think I’m soft on you just because I’m forgiving you.”

She felt him rest his chin on her head, fingers moving up from her shoulder to tug on her hair. “You gonna let me eat?” He teased softly.

“If you promise to do some more apologizing, later, of the eating variety, when we’re alone, in the cabin, up in that nice big bed of ours.”

Daryl chuckled quietly, “Dirty girl. Here I am tryin’ to stop you bein’ mad at me and all you can think of is sex.”

“Funny, I haven’t heard complaints before.”

“Ain’t complainin’. Just pointin’ it out.”

“Will you come sit with us?” Grace asked hopefully, pulling herself out of the embrace to look up at him. “You don’t need to be friends or anything. Just sit.”

“I ain’t changin’ who I am.”

“I’ve never wanted you to be anything but you.” Not caring if it would piss him off or not, Grace leaned up to press her lips gently against Daryl’s. Shyly he kissed her back quickly before pulling away and turning quickly to see if anyone from the other group had seen them. She swatted at him, pulling at his sleeve. “No one’s watching.”

“Still not big on public affection.” He grunted, blushing a little.

“I know.” She laughed a little. She did know. She knew Daryl and more than that she had Daryl. Had him in ways that neither of them had ever imagined. “Come on.” She tugged at his sleeve again. “Let’s go join the others. No kissing, I promise.”

He turned away, neck red with embarrassment. “Not ‘til after at least.” Grabbing his plate quickly he stood and offered her a hand. She accepted and he pulled her to her feet, breaking contact right away.

“After,” she agreed. Together they walked over to the camp fire, not touching at all. Amy looked up from where her and Andrea were sitting on lawn chairs and talking quietly. She elbowed her sister and pointed. Daryl glared at them. Grace walked over to where Lori was finishing washing the dishes. She picked up the dish towel she had used to dry her hands earlier and picked up one of the pots to dry it. Unsure of where to sit Daryl simply dropped the ground and leaned against one of the thick logs that formed the table. Grace was immediately reminded of a large kicked puppy. He wanted to stick close by her, like someone was going to lash out against him.

“Thanks for letting us camp here for the night.” Dale said, he had been pouring over a map that was spread across his lap. “We really appreciate it.”

Daryl bristled for a moment, Grace felt him tense beside her leg and she tried not to look at him. He had to learn to react to people on his own. “Ya can stay for as long as you need.” He grumbled. “So long as you don’t cause no trouble.”

“That’ll be helpful.” Shane spoke-up. “Gives us a bit to figure out how to get into Atlanta. We’ve been trying to figure how to get around the roadblocks but the radio stations are all down so it’s hard to figure out what places are still open.”

“I’ve been trying to plot the places we heard on the map but some of them were in local terms and I don’t quite know where they are.”

“Back roads are probably yer best bet. It’s why yer the first people we seen this way. Back roads was supposed to keep us isolated.”

“Makes sense,” The white haired man nodded, looking over the map closely in the dim light. “The only reason we ended coming this way is because we got tired of running against road blocks trying to keep people out of towns and from travelling across the border.”

Daryl shovelled the rest of his supper into his mouth quickly. He never slowed down long enough to savour anything he was eating. Grace was never sure if it was a habit he got from having his food taken from him or if he just felt he was wasting time sitting and eating. The few times they went out for dinner together you could tell he struggled not to rush through it. His table manners were horrible; take him to a fancy restaurant and he would have been as out of place as a polar bear in Mexico.

Grace could tell now he was trying to make a good impression, even though his hasty eating habits didn’t really show it. There was none of the belching and slurping that he and Merle usually used to show they enjoyed a meal, he didn’t lick the plate and he tried his best to get everything in his mouth the first time. She was downright proud of him. When he finished, Daryl just sat back for a moment looking out at the flames, eyes unfocused. Grace took pity on him. Usually she would give him trouble about dishes not just being women’s work and how he was a grown man, so cleaning one plate wouldn’t kill him. Lori had finished all the other dishes but the water was still in the bins. Grace leaned down and tugged gently on the plate in the man at her feet’s hands. Daryl looked startled for a moment, started to say something then stopped. He froze when she met his eyes, her lips quirked in a tiny smile and he relinquished the plate. She rinsed it quickly in the now chilled water, drying it and stacking it with the others. Then she nudged Daryl’s boot with her foot, urging him to stand. “Come sit with us by the fire.”

He cast one darting look back to the safety of the porch and reluctantly followed her to one of the folding lawn chairs. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

Lori and Carl were sharing a tent and she put her son to bed shortly after the dishes were packed away in the camper and the makeshift table taken apart and leaned against the side of the cabin. Their tent was in front of the camper but far enough from the fire that by talking in hushed voices they hoped the boy would sleep. Shane’s small one man tent was on the other side of the bigger tent. Andrea and Amy slept on singles in the back of the RV and Dale folded the table down into a bed at night time.

They chatted quietly among themselves and were just about getting ready to turn in when Grace noticed a rumble in the distance. Daryl heard it almost the same time and jumped to his feet. The other group looked perplexed as the engine grew closer, Merle’s bike coming over the ridge of the road and into view. The bike pulled into the driveway, spitting out gravel that pinged off the RV and snarling to a stop. Merle Dixon was back and he was angry as a nest of yellow jackets. The bike was barely off before the kickstand was down and Merle had jumped off snapping and screaming, his accent heavy. Grace watched him stumble a bit and realized he was probably a little bit drunk still, a fact proven by the smell coming off of him.

“That whole place is torrnnn up good, baby brother. Whole damn towns gone to shit, it looks like. Some bitch tried to chomp me! Been locked up in William’s havin’ a drink and waiting for it to get dark enough for me to sneak around ‘em. Can’t see no better than us in the dark.” He looked beside him, suddenly puzzled by the RV he was standing next to. “What tha fuck is goin’ on here!” He hollered. “Why are there fuckin’ people in my yard, DARYL!? YOU MAKIN’ FRIENDS WHILE I’M KICKED OFF MY OWN DAMN LAND BY YER WHORE?”

His brother flinched but stood firm. “Don’t call her that.”

“Or what? You gonna get yer new friends ta stand up fer ya?” Merle cackled at his own joke. He turned to the new comers. “Get the fuck outta here! We don’t need guests.”

“They aren’t hurting anyone, Merle. We’ve already told them they could stay for the night. They’re going to stay out in the yard and we’ll talk about it in the morning when you’re sober.” Grace tried to reason with the drunk man, standing herself between Daryl and Merle. Part of her felt guilty that Daryl’s brother was pissed at him and another part of her really just didn’t want to deal with Merle’s bullshit.

The older Dixon leered. “Well you’re still wound up just as tight ain’t ya? Daryl, you not treatin’ yer woman right. Need someone to show you how to do it properly. She seems to think she’s the man here. Gonna have ta show her what a real man looks like.” He reached to undo his fly. Grace rolled her eyes. It wouldn’t be the first time a drunken Merle had exposed himself to her. The show wasn’t that impressive.

Shane on the other hand didn’t take too well to public exposure. The officer in him started showing as he squared his shoulders and stepped forward to try and help. “Look, we aren’t trying to start something. Just need a place to camp and some water. We won’t interfere with anything you’ve got going on here.”

“Yer interferin’ now ain’t cha? This ain’t yer fight pretty boy.”

“We just don’t want any kind of fight…”

Merle hocked and spat at the new comers. Andrea stepped back to avoid the glob, almost stepping into Shane who caught her by the shoulders to stop them both from landing on their asses. “I leave you alone for one day, hopin’ yer gonna fuck this bitch good so she’ll stop bein’ on my case all the time. But no! You turned the whole place into a Motel 6.”

“Listen here, bud.” Shane set Andrea aside and stepped forward. “We don’t want any trouble. Your place is close to the river and we just needed to get ourselves together. We’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“GET OFF MUH LAND!” Merle turned his rage on Shane and flew towards him. Daryl stepped in between, raising his arm and hauling off on Merle before his brother got any further. The older Dixon dropped, hand snapping up to his jaw instinctively.

“Get yer ass to bed, Merle.” Daryl said evenly.

Merle blinked up from the ground, drunk and stupid, before hauling himself to his feet. “Didn’t think you had the balls, Darylina.” He spat once more toward the fire before stumbling toward the cabin. “Me an’ youse is havin’ a chat tomorrow, princess.” He snarled at his brother. “Gotta remember you where yer place is in this world, ‘fore yer little head gets so big for yer shoulders that it snaps yer neck clean off.” He caught the porch railing and used it to drag himself into the cabin, slamming the door hard behind him.

Daryl stood squinting up at the path his brother had just taken. The night was silent, all the little animals had stopped making noise.

“Mom?” Carl’s fearful voice came from the tent, rough with sleep. Lori went immediately to check on him.

“You can stay.” Daryl said quietly. “Merle ain’t the only one who gets to make choices ‘round here. It’s my place too and I say yer stayin’.”

“We don’t mean to cause conflict between you and your brother.” Dale said nervously.

Daryl snorted. “Merle’s always a prick. That ain’t gonna change. Should probably head in too. Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own puke.” He looked at Grace asking silently if she was coming with him.

“I think I’m turning in too.” She said trying to keep the quiver from her voice. “Goodnight everyone. Busy day tomorrow I expect.” Grace laughed feebly at her attempt at a joke.

“Goodnight.” Came the few quiet replies.

“We’ll put the fire out well.” Shane offered to no one in particular. He took off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Shouldn’t be up too much longer anyway.” Dale nodded in agreement with Shane. “I suspect we should all turn in soon in case we have to leave first thing tomorrow.”

“Yer stayin’.” Daryl growled and stomped toward the house. Grace shrugged helplessly at their guests and followed behind him.


	6. Chapter Five

The large majority of people think that when caterpillars wrap themselves in their cocoons they sprout wings and suddenly become beautiful. That’s not true. Science tells us that inside a cocoon caterpillars melt themselves down into imaginal cells, which will form all the different parts of their new bodies. They take all those things that made them a caterpillar and get rid of them. Wipe them clean, blank slate, and form an entirely new being. People do not have that choice. We can’t simply melt down the things that made us feel fat or freckly or too pale or too boney or awkward or uncomfortable or worthless. People simply have to grow with them. To learn to work around and with our flaws and imperfections.

In everyone’s life there is a time when they feel awkward and uncomfortable in their skin. When they wish it could all just go away and you could be someone else. For Grace that time was anywhere after her eleventh birthday and well into her years at college. She always felt as if it took her forever to grow into her body, to feel comfortable in her own skin. After breaking up with her high school boyfriend over Thanksgiving weekend her first year of college she wanted nothing more than to just forget everything about back home. She hated who she was there, it would be far better to create a new persona. Over and over she failed.

People rely too much on their roots. We are built on the framework of our history. Each memory and scar is a reminder of what we have been.

The only things that remained of Grace’s life before everything had started going to shit were Merle and Daryl. They were stuck with each other. If there were two people she had to pick to be with at the end of the world, Daryl would be at the top of her list but Merle would barely have made top one thousand. Merle treated her like shit and brought all the insecurities to the surface that she had thought she was over.  Since the first time he had stumbled into her life, every fiber in her body told her to run the fuck away and not get involved with him. The more she began to rely on Daryl though, the more she found herself caught up in his brother’s bullshit. You couldn’t have one Dixon without the other.

Merle Dixon was a prick. It wasn’t a fact to be debated or argued upon. It was simply true. Grace had met him in an awkward encounter when she was almost seventeen. She was working a Saturday shift and it was just after dinner time. She wasn’t even supposed to be working but when Kristina called in sick, Grace jumped on the chance for more hours. The extra money could go to that new pair of boots she’d been looking at in Atlanta when Amber’s mom had taken them shopping.

_It was a slow night and the bar was mostly full of the regular crowd with a few out of town strays. The big party had apparently been the night before and Grace wasn’t sorry to have missed it one bit. There had been some kind of anniversary for a local couple and a group of twenty-eight showed up during the dinner hour without having called ahead. Tonight though was mostly quiet, even for a Saturday. She didn’t expect to see many people until the end of her shift._

_“‘Nother one.” The man at the end of the counter raised his glass and Grace struggled to remember what he had been drinking. Where the hell was Kathleen. Grace was strictly on tables unless it got really busy and even then she wasn’t allowed to serve booze._

_“I’ll get him a beer.” Lena offered. “I don’t know why Kathleen let him have hard liquor in the first place. Think she’s a bit soft on him because of his brother. We’ll have to call his brother when he gets too rough.”_

_“Who’s his brother?”Grace asked before being interrupted._

_“I’ll serve him.” Kathleen appeared out of nowhere and pushed past Grace to get to the bar. She lifted the counter door, finally resuming her place. Grace sighed in relief, even though she hated the other woman at least it meant she didn’t have to deal with the man at the counter. He looked rougher than most of the men Grace dealt with on a regular basis and some of them were bad enough after dark._

_“Table eight is yours, right?” Kathleen said off casually and Grace looked over at the table where a group of kids just a few years older than Grace were celebrating. They didn’t seem to be in need of anything. “You should get on that. They’ve been there for two hours.”_

_“So what?” Grace shrugged. “They’re still ordering.”_

_“They’re taking up the table.” The older woman rolled her eyes. “Whatever I’m not telling you how to do your job. You’ll learn.”_

_Grace shook her head. The black haired woman had been on her case since she had started a year and a half ago. While Grace had started out curious and eager for advice she couldn’t be bothered any more. Kathleen just didn’t like her. Grace left to clear a table, crunching the bills from her tip into a ball and shoving them into her apron. She didn’t bother counting it knowing she would be disappointed. She always was when it came to tips. She carried the dirty plates to the counter, stopping to scoop an empty nacho basket off of table eight and take a request for a second order._

_When she brought the second order of nachos she walked past the man at the counter and he sneered at her so much that Grace edged away quickly. When she returned to fetch another soda for the designated driver at table fifteen, the man turned obviously to her._

_“What’s yer name, sweetheart?”_

_Grace ignored him, pulling out a clean glass and the bottle of diet Coke._

_“Asked you a question, girly.” He took a deep drink from his beer. “Ain’tcha gonna answer me?”_

_“Didn’t plan on it.” She deadpanned, walking away quickly. Behind her she heard Lena giggling._

_“Atta girl!” The other server cheered quietly when she passed. Sadly the man didn’t let it. He hounded her for quite some time. Kathleen, oblivious to the whole thing kept pouring him drinks, not caring herself if she got hit on as she was safely behind the counter and out of the reach of his fingers. Lena, Grace and the fourth server working that night, Jenny, weren’t so lucky._

_“Who is this guy anyway?” Grace  whispered after having narrowly avoided having her wrist grabbed._

_“His name’s Merle.” Jenny whispered back. “I think he’s been in prison or something that’s why he hasn’t been around lately.”_

_“Uh, for what?”_

_“Public intoxication, I think. Possibly starting a fight. He’s trouble. I’m kinda fuzzy on the details.”_

_Grace flinched and made a mental note to stay as far away from him as possible. Sadly that didn’t work very well. When table eight finally left, she cleared the table, picking up the coins one at a time. There were two fives and a ten on the table but there was to be enough small change to keep her busy for a while, not to mention the handful of crumpled ones. And Kathleen had said it wasn’t worth keeping them around. It looked like the entire group had emptied their pockets at the table. She was so distracted that she didn’t notice Merle come up behind her until she felt fingers digging into her hips and was pulled into thick thighs._

_Her spine straightened instinctively and she found herself flush against the stocky body behind her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. “Still wanna know yer name, girly.” Merle breathed against her ear. He smelled of beer and bar peanuts and sour sweat, stale smoke and wood chips and oil. If he were cologne, he would have be called “Redneck Bad Decisions”._

_“AH!” She squealed dropping quarters onto the table. They rolled off the flat surface and skipped across the floor. “What the fuck?” She struggled to get herself free. “Get off of me!”_

_Merle swayed with her, hanging on contentedly as she struggled to get away from him. “Wouldn’t wiggle around like that if I were you.” In response she elbowed him as hard as she could. It apparently wasn’t hard enough. He grunted but just held tighter. “Just wanna know yer name. Lemme buy you a drink.”_

_“Get off of her Merle. She ain’t even legal.” Grace knew that voice. She knew Daryl well enough at this point, he was a regular who stopped in after work for a beer and sometimes on weekends in the morning for a coffee and breakfast. Quiet but respectful. It wasn’t the first time he had told a guy to lay off. Usually though they were just asking for her number or something. She’d never been grabbed before._

_“Ain’t got an ass like no minor I ever seen.” Merle’s grip lessened and Grace wretched herself out of his grip, spinning around._

_“You an’ I both know you ain’t a good judge of legal.”_

_“Damn it.” Merle snarled, “We ain’t ‘pposed to talk ‘bout that.” He lumbered a step closer to Grace and Daryl stepped between them easily cutting off the other man’s access. Though it was ridiculous, she found herself cowering behind him._

_“Takin’ you home now.”_

_“Fuck you. Still early. Stay and have a drink with us. The girl’ll get us somethin’.”_

_“Sure the girl don’t wanna have nothing to do with you no more.” He took the other man’s shoulder in his hand and turned him around, pushing him gently toward the door._

_“I’ll be back to square him up once I get him home, Kathleen.” Daryl said, navigating Merle out of the bar._

_“Sure thing, sweetie.” Kathleen said, grinning broadly. Grace quirked an eyebrow. The other woman was practically purring._

_“You alright?” Lena said, rushing up to her co-worker as the din of the bar came rushing back in. Grace gave herself a shake._

_“I’m fine. Damn tip went everywhere though.”_

_“Really? The tip. That’s your concern. Not the crazy old guy who just felt you up?”_

_“Apparently ignoring him didn’t work as well as I’d hoped it would.” She sniffled a bit. It was finally hitting her and the adrenalin was wearing off. “Would rather not talk about it at all. Why is Daryl taking him home?”_

_Lena wrinkled her brow. “He’s Merle’s brother.”_

_“No!” Grace looked shocked. “The slime ball is Daryl Dixon’s brother? But he’s so sweet. ‘Just a Bud, please, dah’lin’.’” She imitated him._

_“Never have trouble with Daryl but before Merle went away we used to do this about once a week. He’s even worse with Kristina, the racist prick.”_

_“Uh,” That was one thing that Grace really could not take. “Glad Daryl’s not like that. He’s in all the time.” She squatted to reach under the table and retrieve some of her spilled coins._

_“Kathleen’s got her eyes on him.” Lena smirked, bending to help her._

_Grace looked over at the counter where Kathleen was serving beers to the boys who had been playing pool. “Ew, really?”_

_“Is that for Daryl or Kathleen?”_

_Grace giggled, wiping at her eyes and trying not to smudge her make-up, “She’s sort of trashy.”_

_Lena laughed with her, holding out the coins she had picked up. “You’re lucky you get to go home soon. She doesn’t get any better as the night goes on. Are you in tomorrow?”_

_“Yeah, afternoon shift though so I get to sleep in.” She shoved the money into her apron and stood to clear the table. By the time she got the last of her tables cleaned off and wiped down she was ten minutes past the end of her shift. Sighing she went to the back office to get her things. Each of the girls had a small lock box to keep their purse and things in while they were working. She stuck her tips into her wallet, planning on counting them when she got home, and zipped her coat over her apron and work shirt. It wasn’t that cold outside but the wind wasn’t appealing._

_The house she had lived in her whole life was only a fifteen or so minute walk from the bar. She said goodbye to the girls still working and left without attracting any more unwanted attention. It actually wasn’t as bad out as she had originally thought it was. It was almost dark out when she left and she knew by the time she got home the sun would have completely set. About the second street over though she got a creeping feeling that someone was following her. A small silver truck drove past her and she turned but couldn’t catch sight of the driver. She had barely made it to the next street when it drove past again, slowing to a crawl and driving along side her.  This time she felt freaked out a little and sped up her walking a little._

_“Need a lift, there sweetheart?”_

_Grace stopped walking and turned toward the truck. “Daryl?”_

_The passenger side window was down and there sat Daryl Dixon at the wheel. “Yeah, uh, was comin’ back after takin’ care of Merle’s tab. Thought you might want a lift. Or maybe not. Sorry, this is creepy. Forget I asked.”_

_The truck rolled forward and Grace barely took a second to think before she said, “Wait.”_

_Daryl pressed the brakes hard and the truck lurched. “Yeah?”_

_“I don’t mind taking a ride.” She reached for the door handle, letting herself into the truck. Daryl seemed a little shocked as she gave him her address and they took off. The truck wasn’t high end or even very neat. It reminded her distinctly of Daryl though; full ashtray, his traveller’s coffee mug in the cup holder, work gloves on the floor mat._

_“Sorry ‘bout Merle back there. He don’t know where to draw the line.”_

_Grace shrugged, “Thanks for taking him home.”_

_“Shoulda gone with him when he said he was goin’ out. He’s a mess an’ a half when he gets out after a few months of lock-up.”_

_Grace nodded and they lapsed into silence. As they pulled onto her street, Grace pointed out the house and Daryl pulled into the driveway. “Well thanks for the lift, Daryl.”_

_“No problem.” He nodded. “See you all the time at William’s but I never got to askin’. Wass yer name?” Grace couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. Daryl looked offended. He grumbled, “Sorry I asked.”_

_“No, I don’t care. It’s just that’s what Merle was trying to get out of me.”_

_Daryl looked appropriately embarrassed for asking, “Never mind then, have a good night.”_

_“Grace.” She called suddenly._

_“Wha?”_

_“My name’s Grace.”_

_Daryl gave her a crooked grin. “Good to meet ya, Grace.”_

_“Likewise, Daryl.”_

Strangely enough, she sort of had Merle to thank for her friendship with Daryl. It was by no means the last time Daryl came to get him after an unneeded outburst. Sometimes they were aggressive, most of the time he was just drunk and touchy feely. What it was though, was a start of the friendship between Grace and Daryl. Once he knew her by name Daryl made a habit of avoiding certain servers all together when he ordered, namely poor Kathleen, who eventually got over Daryl and married a nice guy named Lance.

Daryl often got stuck looking after his drunk of a brother and Grace always had a cup of coffee ready for him when he came back to pay the bill. Merle and Daryl hadn’t lived together for years but Daryl still felt responsible for the nutjob that was Merle Dixon. He always took care of him, often having to fetch him from one place or another after a stupid stunt. While he might be used to it, Grace defiantly didn’t want to have anything to deal with drunk Merle. He reminded her of being young and unconfident. He had always known exactly what to say to put her down or get under her skin. It had especially freaked her out when she was didn’t fully understand the attention.

Even now, when she had a reasonably good grasp on herself, Merle could pick-up on what she felt worst about.

Her afternoon with Daryl though had changed that. The more she admitted to herself that she was committed to Daryl, the more she realized that she also had an obligation to help him with his brother. If she didn’t, Merle and his stunts would rip apart any small steps they made. He was a miserable man who wanted everyone to be miserable with him.

For the first time ever, she felt a bit of pity toward the man. It had to be very lonely to be Merle Dixon. He spent so much time pushing people away that Grace was sure that he didn’t have any good friendships. It was possible he never had. Daryl only stuck by him out of familial obligation. The brothers fought almost as much as she and Merle did. She didn’t owe Merle anything. He wasn’t her responsibility. Or he shouldn’t have been. By choosing to accept that she wanted to keep Daryl around though, she made her choice.

As Daryl stormed toward the house to tuck his brother into bed, Grace softly told him she would put the bike safely away in the shed. She could hear the quiet arguing around the campfire and the crickets were beginning to chirp again. The gravel shifted under her bare feet in a way that reminded her she was no longer a child, that she no longer had the soles that were hard worn from playing outside all day in the dirt. The bike was heavy and she wasn’t used to pushing it but she managed to get it wheeled into the shed and propped up again without losing toes and that made her damned proud.

It wasn’t until the bike was parked again that she noticed the bag hanging at the back of it. A slight bump with her hip had caused the contents to rattle together in a sound that distinctly meant full bottles, probably of booze. She sighed. Just what Merle needed: another stash. Unzipping the leather side pocket revealed several bottles. She wasn’t sure where Merle had gotten them. Some were clearly not things they carried in the bar but others she recognized. Classic hard liquors in their cheap and brand name equivalents, a dusty bottle of tequila smuggled over the border complete with floating friends and there at the bottom two bottles of strawberry wine. It wasn’t something that either Daryl or Merle would ever think of drinking but it was one of Grace’s guilty pleasures. Her lips quirked up of their own accord.

“Merle Dixon, you bastard.” She laughed. He would apologize with a bottle, or in this case two. He had laughed at her enough for sipping ice cold glasses of wine when the boys turned to beers after a long day. So, it didn’t surprise her that he remembered. What did surprise her was that he would enable her fruity, girly habit. A bottle of wine wasn’t much to anyone else but for Merle this was the equivalent of a John Hughes worthy monologue on the importance of family and friends during the rough times. It was downright thoughtful and sweet of him. She would drink beer or anything mixed with Jack. If the mood suited her she sometimes did shots with bar patrons but most nights it was only if they begged her. On special occasions she sometimes drank straight vodka just to make sure she didn’t remember the night.

These were acceptable drinks according to Merle.

Her weakness though was for strawberry wine with fresh berries cut in it and served in any glass with a long stem. It was the drink that made her feel both sassy _and_ classy. One of the few things she stopped everything to enjoy. When she drank them around Merle it was pretty much an invitation for mockery. “Bitch drinks” he called them. She didn’t know if it was the berries or the glass or the artificially bright pink liquid but she was pretty much asking for teasing if she got caught drinking it. The majority of the time she just gave in and had a beer instead. It was safer. She did so many things she didn’t want to because it was safer than having to listen to Merle go on and on.

She had forgotten that while he was rough and abrasive, Merle Dixon was still human. Though he didn’t want to, he too developed attachments – albeit he showed his affection in crude, inappropriate ways most of the time. The truth was, Merle fucking loved his baby brother more than anyone else on the planet. He picked on him and teased him nonstop, which was probably where a lot of Daryl’s shoulder chip had come from, but Merle had also helped raise him. He had stuck by him no matter what shit he pulled. They relied on each other and she, little Gracie Carter with the “nice tits” and “fine ass” was a threat to their brotherly bond. She could take Daryl away from him. Merle had always been the most important person in Daryl’s life and now he had to share the spotlight.

Grace felt guilty for going after him so much. For putting brother against brother. For trying to make Daryl choose. It wasn’t Merle’s fault she was insecure, that she had been screwed over by so many guys that she had forgotten Daryl was like no one else she knew. That his gruff primal approach to life brought out the fight or flight instinct in him but it also meant that when he held on, it was for dear life.

Daryl wasn’t going anywhere.

He had already been there for so many milestones and moments in her life; sometimes up front, sometimes in the background. She and the younger Dixon just needed to chill the fuck out and take a relaxed approach to things for a while. Still old habits had a tendency to rear up though when you least expected them to. Merle brought out the worst in her. His teasing and hounding made her doubts and insecurities flare up.

A couple of bottles of wine though. That was a sweet touch. She undid the side packs and carried them outside the shed with her. Andrea nodded when she caught sight of Grace moving toward the cabin and Grace smiled back.

“Need any help with him?”

“Nah, Daryl and I got this. We’ll talk him down tomorrow when he’s hung over.”

“Does he drive drunk often?”

“Yeah, it’s a bad habit of his. Don’t know how many times Daryl’s had to pick him up in the morning and get whatever he was driving out of impound.” Shane shook his head but Grace just smirked. “Ease up officer. You’re not on duty.”

From inside the cabin something crashed followed by muffled shouting. The group turned toward the sound. Lori stuck her head out from her tent. “If they don’t keep it down, there’s no way Carl will go back to sleep.”

“I’ll go handle it.” Grace rolled her eyes. Despite that she hated being around Merle while he was intoxicated she was suddenly realizing that she too felt a little responsible for Merle. It was nothing like what Daryl felt for him but she was stuck with him. If she wanted one Dixon brother she had to figure out how to live with the other one. She moved quickly across the yard and let herself into the cabin. The crashing seemed to have come from a knocked over chair at the table but Daryl and Merle were nowhere to be seen. “Daryl?” She called.

“In here.” He grunted in response. “Fuck off, Merle!” A heavy sound followed by more grunting meant that one of the brothers had probably hit the other.

Grace set the stolen alcohol on the dining room table and ventured toward Merle’s bedroom. It was a thin room, the only furniture a rough looking dresser between two bunk beds. The top of the dresser was covered in a mess of dirty clothes, a few knives and assorted pill bottles. The mess of clothes spilled over to the spare bed. Daryl was in the middle of the room attempting to convince Merle to just get into bed already.

“Don’t have the patience for this tonight.” He grumbled.

“Gracie Carter!” Merle grinned broadly, slurring the name. “There’s my favourite spoiled bitch. Brought you a present but Daryl won’t let me get it fer ya. Do you know there’s people in my yard?”

“I do, Merle. They’re staying for a bit.”

“Don’t like that none. Not supposed to be no one up here but us. Bad enough Darylina brings pussy like you up here.”

“I think it’s time for bed, Merle.”

“S’what the princess here keeps sayin’.” Merle stumbled and Daryl reached quickly to keep him from crashing to the floor. Daryl flinched as Merle pawed at his face trying to get free.

Grace sighed, “It’s what I’m saying too. Party’s over. Boots off and into bed.” Merle started to protest but Grace shushed him. “Now.”

“Sounds like you’re tryin’ ta get me inta bed.” Merle grinned. “Given up on Daryl and tryin’ to find you a real man?”

“You’re getting into bed and you’re doing alone.”

Like a small child who stayed up past bedtime the difficulty was not in getting Merle to fall asleep but getting him into bed. If they were able to get him lying down, he would be unconscious before his head actually hit the pillow. It was all a matter of convincing him to at least sit on the bed so they could push him over. She was half tempted to tell him that if he sat down she would take her shirt off and then, while Merle was distracted by the thought of breasts, Daryl could tackle him to the mattress. That though was the kind of crazy thinking that got you into bad situations.

And thus they were left to bribe and cajole Merle for the next fifteen minutes until he finally decided that _he_ was tired of _them_ and slumped onto bed, snoring loudly.

“Finally.” She shook her head. “I’m going to have a glass of wine. Want to come up to bed?”

Daryl looked at her absolutely baffled. “Where on earth did you get wine?”

“Your brother really is a sweetheart sometimes. There’s a full stash on the counter. He must have brought it back and I’m sure the strawberry wine isn’t for him.”

“Merle brought you wine?” He still wasn’t understanding.

Grace laughed and took his hand, tugging him quietly out of his brother’s room. “See, all kinds of booze. Take your pick. He won’t remember what he brought with him tomorrow.”

Daryl dropped her hand and stalked over to the counter. Fishing one bottle out of the bag he considered it carefully and then chose another. “The little fucker.” He grinned. “We don’t have any of them stem-y glasses you like so much though.”

Grace stepped around the table and into the kitchen area. She pulled open a few cupboards before finding what she was looking for. “Ta-da!” she turned, holding out a mug. “Old school, we’ve just broken into mum and dad’s liquor cabinet style. This is how I drank wine in college before I got classy.”

Daryl examined the remaining bottle of wine, flicking at the foil around the top. “Better find a cork screw in there too.”

“Nuh-unh,” Grace smiled. “Merle got the good stuff. That bottle is a screw top.” She hooked the mug on her finger so she could juggle the first bottle and grab the second bottle of wine with her free hand. Daryl raised an eyebrow and she just shrugged. “He did say it was my present.”

“Suppose so. Don’t think it’s quite right to drink it all tonight though. Wouldn’t mind staying a little sober in case something happens with those people in the yard.”

“Relax Mom.” She chuckled quietly. “One bottle of wine won’t get me drunk. We’ll just have a little. Then when they’re gone we’ll drink the rest.”

Daryl slowly ran his finger down a bottle of Jack Daniels. “Guess that works.”

“Live a little Dixon! I haven’t had booze in bed with you in a long time and Merle’s going to be passed out until well into tomorrow afternoon. No one’s going to come into the house.”

“Yer right,” He finally relented, he gave her a crooked grin. “Need to lighten up a bit. Dealin’ with that drunk bastard put me in a hella foul mood.” He scooped up the bottle of Jack and cracked it open. Raising it in toast he tipped back his head and took a deep swig.

“That’s more like it!” She laughed loudly now, and stepped around the counter to head for the ladder. Daryl followed behind her, his eyes already darkening with lust. After pulling the ladder down, he allowed her to go first, using the opportunity to swat playfully at her ass. This was exactly what they needed, a little bit of fun in their relationship. A few steps up the ladder, she set the mug and bottles of wine through the hole in the ceiling, on the floor of the attic to give herself more balance while climbing. That seemed to be the moment Daryl was waiting for because he pulled her back down the steps the second her hands were free, crowding her against the ladder.

“Hey,” He grinned, as he brought her to eye level with him. He nestled between her legs, pressing his body flush against hers.

“Hey,” She smile softly back.

With a smooth movement he brought the bottle in his hand to his lips and took another mouthful. Grace waited for him to finish swallowing before leaning forward to kiss him. He hummed against her mouth, her tongue licking the drops of alcohol off his lips. Daryl pulled back to take another drink, then leaned in to push their mouths together, transferring the liquid. Both swallowed and brought their lips together again, tongues tangling. Grace couldn’t help but rub against Daryl’s thighs and he grunted.

“Easy, sweetheart.”

“Don’t want easy.” She pouted, reaching to try and take the bottle from him.

He held it out of her grasp scolding softly. “Ah, ah, ah.” She reached again and he pulled it further away. He turned his head to take a sip.

She watched the muscles of his throat contracting and whined. “Want some.”

He thrust softly against her. “Oh yea?”

“Prick.”

“Got one of those.” He rotated his hips slowly, pressing into the seam of her jeans.

“You’re a prick.” She amended, “I want some Jack.”

He smirked. “Shoulda asked then.” He brought the glass bottle to her lips and she tilted her head back to drink, warm alcohol trickling slowly down her throat and warming the pit of her stomach. “Mmmm.” She moaned against the bottle. Daryl pulled it back and pressed his face into her neck. He licked his way upward from her pulse to catch her earlobe with his teeth, tugging lightly. “I owe you from this afternoon. Want you nekkid when I get up there.” He licked around the shell of her ear.

“Sure,” she whined quietly, agreeing.

He chuckled and hauled himself away from her. “Go on.” He raised a hand to pat at her thigh.

Grace spun around and pulled herself up the ladder quickly. When she stepped into the loft she stooped to pick up the bottle of wine and mug catching sight of Daryl swallowing heavily from the bottom of the hole and staring up at her. She raised the bottle of wine to him in toast and turned toward the bed. Using the nail of her thumb she broke the seal dropping the foil to the floor unceremoniously. She would pick it up tomorrow. She was the one who usually did the tidying up anyway. Breaking the seal on the cap, she took a deep swallow before filling the mug. Grace put the bottle of wine between her knees and pulled one arm out of her shirt, making sure not to spill a drop of her precious treat when she switched hands to pull the shirt over her head.

Daryl’s boots on the ladder echoed through the space around her as he whispered, “Nekkid yet?”

Laughing, she dropped the shirt to the floor, “It’s been less than a minute, so no.”

“Good, ‘cause I changed my mind. I wanna help.” He clomped the rest of the way up the stairs and kissed her soundly. He flicked open the button on her pants with his free hand and moved for the zipper but she pulled back.

“How come I always get naked first? Even Steven there, Dare. Shirt off.”

He grumbled but reluctantly put down his bottle and began unbuttoning the plaid shirt. “Fuckin’ hate buttons.”

“Buttons, socks. Damn, Daryl. Why don’t we just run off to a nudist colony the next time we skip town?”

Undoing the last button he shrugged out of the shirt and gave her a scowl. “Don’t care much who sees me starkers but yer a different story.”

“You don’t want to see me naked?” She teased.

He swatted back playfully. “Don’t want no one else to see the goods, sweetheart. How many times I gotta tell you, Daryl Dixon don’t share.”

 _Daryl Dixon don’t share._ It was the closest Grace had gotten to Daryl admitting they had some sort of commitment to each other. It was funny how it could make her chest tight and her stomach flip. She knew for a fact he hadn’t always been so possessive. Some of the girls he had been with were _very_ fond of sharing. It was how he had first answered her when she finally sucked up the courage to ask him about their arrangement.

_“Dare,” She had mumbled over the top of her coffee._

_“Yeah?” He was getting dressed for work after having spent the night at her place. Grace had crawled back into bed with a cup of coffee to watch some tv after he had accidently woken her._

_“Are we still friends?”_

_He had frozen in place, hands on the button of his jeans. Slowly he dropped them, “Sure hope so. Why?”_

_She lied, just a tiny white lie but she wanted to see his reaction. “Guy last night asked for my number. Didn’t know if I should give it to him or not.”_

_His jaw clenched and she couldn’t help but smile. “Listen up, sweetheart.” He had roughly grabbed her chin. “This arrangement we got going on can end when ever one of us wants it too. Want us to stay friends after it’s all over, you hear me? So if you wanna end it, you just speak up.”_

_Grace had been caught by the intensity of his stare, “Alright.”_

_“Alright, what?” He demanded._

_“Alright nothing. Just alright.”_

_“You give him yer number?”_

_“No,” She shook her head and before the word had died on her lips, his mouth was over hers in a demanding kiss._

_“Good,” He panted against her mouth, “Daryl Dixon don’t share.”_

As far as affirmations or I love you’s it was all she had going for her.

They stripped slowly, Daryl negotiating her backwards toward the bed with each article of clothing they lost. They alternated between drinks and fabric until Grace had finished her first mug of wine and they were both naked against the mattress.

“Let me.” He offered pouring a second mug full and putting the bottle back beside his on the bedside table. She propped herself up on the pillows, crossing her legs at the ankles and sipped slowly. Daryl grabbed the Jack and took a swig. The two of them eyed each other until finally Daryl broke and climbed onto the bed with her, pushing her legs apart.

He carded his fingers through the hair at the apex of her thighs and smirked. “’Member the first time I did this tuh ya?”

Her hand came up to brush his hair back, “The first time anyone did it to me?”

Daryl smirked. “Yeah.” He stroked softly and she shifted her hips eagerly. “Couldn’t even get yer legs apart for me. Now look at you.”

“Dare!” She whined as he teased.

“You pretty much beg fer it.”

“Fuck you.” She sniffed.

“Oh yeah,” He leaned in, looking down and breaking their eye contact to part her folds with his fingers. “Gonna _fuck_ you _._ ” His brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it with one stiff swipe before using the digit to rub her clit.

—-

                Grace woke-up the next morning as her stomach rolled. She lurched immediately for the side of the bed, almost knocking over the still-half-filled bottle of wine, but managed to keep the contents of her stomach on the inside. Groggy she fumbled around on the floor managing to struggle on her pants and Daryl’s shirt. Daryl groaned and rolled over on the bed, trying to pull her back.

“Not now.” She grunted, prying herself out of his fingers.

He pouted, throwing himself back into the pillows and she gagged again. Daryl shot back up, “Grace?”

“Not now.” She repeated, standing so quickly everything swam out of focus and then sharpened painfully. By the time she got down the ladder and bolted for the door she was holding her hand over her mouth in an attempt to keep everything inside. Her body hit the railing of the porch so hard it rattled and she hung her head over the side as her insides clenched and released. She threw up twice before Daryl caught up with her.

“Whoa.” He mumbled. She hung her head and tried to look at him under her arms. He stood in the doorway of the cabin looking concerned. Grace took in his shirtless torso. They had joked last night about a nudist colony but she knew his shyness extended to showing off his body as well. It wasn’t something Daryl usually did when he knew people might be able to see him and even though she had just puked off the porch, she was still aware that the guests in their yard were just on the other side of the garage. Hell, if anyone was awake, they had probably heard her.

“Shit, I dunno where that came from.” She was blushing now, thinking of what everyone else probably thought of her.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.” He teased.

“Shut-uhhh…” Her retort was cut off as she began to throw-up again.

Daryl hurried over to her, the smirk gone from his voice. “Shhh.” He pulled back her hair to keep it out of the way. Somehow she had managed to keep her hair clean so far but this last wave was even more violent than the first. Daryl rubbed a rough thumb over the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension built there. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “Get it all out?” He wondered.

She shrugged, head sinking again. “Still feel sick but I dunno what could be left.” Grace moaned feebly, both because her stomach was still rolling and because she wanted his sympathy.

“Come on light-weight. Back to bed.” He chuckled, pulling her into him.

She snuggled for a moment before he steered her toward the house, snagging a bucket with the arm he didn’t have around her. Daryl brought her back upstairs and tucked her into bed again, setting the bucket on the floor beside the bed and kicking the clothes out of the way. It seemed like he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing when he stooped and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Be back with water.”

This was her Daryl. The one who gave a shit about her. Cared for her when she was sick.

Grace sighed, her jeans were uncomfortable but she couldn’t bring herself to do more than unbutton them. Everything made the room spin and her stomach lurch. Finally she gave in and just did it quickly, tossing them away from the bed and struggling around under the blankets to find her panties. She was sure she remembered seeing them somewhere on the bed. Finally she retrieved them from under the pillow, a flash of Daryl teasingly pulling them off of her and shoving them under her head made her smile even though she still felt like shit. Fumbling under the blankets, Grace pulled them over her hips and then the covers over her head. She barely even felt Daryl crawl into bed behind her, though she was grateful for the body heat.

—-

“Daryl!” Grace groaned at the sound of the other Dixon brother smashing something against the trap door to the loft. They’d only been back in bed for forty or so minutes. “Daryl get your lazy ass down here.”

Daryl swore into the pillow, “Ain’t plannin’ on comin’ down yet Merle.” He called, lifting his head.

“Don’t be a little bitch. Heard her out on the porch already. You ain’t gettin’ nothin’ this mornin’ and we both know it. Need you down here, so quit bein’ a pussy.”

“Go.” Grace insisted, rolling over to face Daryl. “Before he decides to take an axe to the door or something.”

“Nah, he don’t sound too pissed off. Figure I should just leave him on his own for a bit after the shit he pulled yesterday.”

Merle banged against the trap door again. “Generator’s running out of fuel baby brother. We ain’t gonna have power in a coupla hours ‘less you get yer ass down here and help me haul the fuel outta the shed ta fill the tank.”

She gave him a playful shove. “See? Go already. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“Don’t come down if yer sick still.”

“I’m alright.” She insisted. “Apparently I shouldn’t mix alcohol. Next time I won’t be so greedy. Headache is almost gone and everything. Just needed to get it out of my system. I’ll take an Advil and be good as new. Probably should go check on our guests.”

“Whatever.” He shrugged but still looked concerned. “Just watch yerself and take a gun.”

“I can hear you fumblin’ ‘round up there.” Merle grumbled.

“Be down in a minute.” Daryl shouted back before leaning across the bed to kiss Grace quickly. “Brush yer teeth before you go talkin’ to people.” He suggested, smirking. “You taste like puke.”

She laughed swatting at him. “Thanks, Daryl.”

“Yer welcome.” He grinned back.


	7. Chapter Six

“It’s quiet.”

The night after the other survivors arrived, the generator ground to a halt. Fuel tank empty there was nothing left to do but consider their options when they gathered around the fire the next morning to cook breakfast. As if embarrassed by his outburst, though Grace doubted that was the real reason, Merle had simply avoided almost everyone. For the most part he stayed away from the cabin all day, bringing back small game to be cooked up. They had yet to actually eat a squirrel but there were rabbits and quail aplenty.

Problem was there were also other things hunting in the forest. The longer they waited the more times they ran into infected. They were a forty-five minute drive outside of town but most of that was on shitty roads which made the ride longer than it should have been. It had already been a week since Daryl had rushed into the bar and whisked her away. Was it any wonder that the living dead had made its way to them. Grace had seen just two, one already taken care of by Shane and the second destroyed soon after being spotted by Daryl.

They were frightening, sure. The smell alone turned your stomach. The bodies were rotting in the Georgia heat and most had vicious looking wounds to begin with. The first one had been missing a hand. The bodies were burned away from the cabin; dragged off into the forest and dropped into a pre-dug pit. If the wind was right they sometimes caught a whiff of burning flesh but for the most part Grace didn’t think about them.

Lori had discovered a small patch of blackberries and she, Andrea and Amy had invited Grace along to pick with them each morning so far. Yesterday they had been able to hear the generator, even out in the woods. Without it, Grace felt disconnected.

“Yeah, weirds me out to not hear the generator any more either.”

“No, there’s no birds.” Amy stood quickly and looked around them. “Something’s wrong.”

The four women froze, there were no birds, no bugs either. Nothing made so much as a whisper.

“UnnnNNNGH.” They turned slowly, eyes wide with shock and fear. At the edge of their small clearing, barely twenty feet from them was the remains of a man, swaying gently on his feet. One arm reached out and he moaned again.

Andrea yelped, “Jesus!”

Grace’s hands shot to her waist, pulling her shirt up to get at the gun Daryl had made her promise to take everywhere. She brought the weapon up to eye level, pointing it forward and checking that the safety was off. Her hands trembled, she could feel the beads of sweat running down her back.

The walker took an unsteady step forward, eyes milky and deranged. He was wearing messy jeans, stained black with the goo leaking out of his side. His shirt was ripped open to show that a large chunk was missing from his torso. Several fingers were gone as well. The creature slumped forward , dragging one leg slightly behind and at an odd angle. Grace had seen stray dogs like that sometimes, beagles that got left out in the forest after hunting season and were injured but determined to make it back home. She diagnosed a broken ankle and a severe case of _HOLY FUCKING SHIT_!

Her first shot went wide. The second connected firmly with its torso and did nothing but make the creature jerk. She fired again twice, seeming to hit nothing at all. She wondered absently how many bullets a gun held. She had heard the term six-shooter before but assumed that weapons were much more advanced than that now. Weren’t they? She fired again; leg – the good one somewhere below the knee and knocking pieces into the air. It slowed the creature down a bit but not enough.

“Shoot it in the head!” Lori shouted.

Grace snapped back, “Don’t you think I’m trying!”

When Shane shot the first one, he fired over and over making contact each time but nothing took down the creature but a bullet straight to the brain. Daryl had brained his right from the get go with a shovel, smashing the tool several times into the corpse and cracking the skull open. These were not people. Grace had seen hunting accidents before and knew just how serious a shot or twelve could be to the stomach. Nothing stopped these but a direct hit to the head.

The monster was almost on them now, close enough for Grace to aim better. She fired the gun twice, at least once connecting with skull, and then once more for good measure. Right between the eyes as it was going down.

Amy threw-up first - Lori followed, though she had the good sense to step away from the berry patch before she did it. All four women stared at the body laying on the ground before them. Grace took a staggering step toward it.

“Where do you think he came from?” Amy wiped the back of her hand across her mouth.

“Just outside of town most likely. Not anyone I know at least.” More than likely he was one of Merle’s neighbours. Grace used the term lightly. Outside of town, well beyond the trailer park were a cluster of trailers that more closely resembled shacks. Their land wasn’t a part of the neatly maintained official trailer park. The trailers had additions built on illegally, loud trucks in the driveway and ever louder occupants. Daryl had grown-up in one of those trailers, only leaving to buy his own when Bo Dixon died and left his property to his eldest son. The kids there were mostly homeschooled, their parents rough and religious or at least strongly opposed to mainstreaming and anyone who wasn’t white. They were the bottom of the barrel. It wasn’t always like that. In the last ten years they pulled further and further away from society. The gap between the lower and middle classes spreading and creating a void. Daryl rarely mentioned his upbringing but once and a while they’d see a girl who was way too young to have a baby and he’d get even squinty-er than normal and mumble under his breath.

They weren’t bad people for the most part. Sometime when Grace worked clinic hours for extra money she would deal with the children and their moms. Families with three and four kids under six. Some had as many as nine or ten kids all together. The moms always tried their best to keep the kids neat and they demanded politeness. Money was always a problem, many of the kids were undernourished and she knew that the last bite of food the mother’s had went into their babies mouths. Their clothes were hand-me-downs, too big or too small, patched neatly at the worn spots. They were fringe society people but that didn’t make them bad.

If anything those people, the ones that would fight to the death to defend their families and knew how to survive on nothing, those were the people that Grace wanted around right now. They were the ones that had the best chance of managing in this world.

She took an unsteady step forward, bending to look at the creature before them, hand over her mouth and nose to try and keep back the stench. The others had been much farther away than the cabin. She hadn’t really seen one up close before. He wasn’t so old after all. She had guessed that he had been mid twenties but the closer she looked the younger she realized he was. Probably fifteen or sixteen really; long and lanky. Gawky in a way only teenage boys are when they aren’t sure of their new height. Her hand stretched out touch him when a shout startled her, causing her to fall backward.

“The fuck is goin’ on ‘round here!” Apparently drawn by the sounds of gunfire, Merle had decided to make an appearance. He swooped in angrily and ripped Grace away from the dead boy. “The hell you doing! He get’cha? You get bit?” Almost frantically he turned her arms over and examined her closely.

As Grace held herself ridged while Merle pawed unrelentingly at her not letting her talk, she saw something she never had seen on his face before: concern, border lining on panic. He was worried for her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.” She chanted as he dragged her further back from the body and gave her a little shove away from him. She stumbled, Andrea reaching out to catch her.

“Don’t you never go near one of them again!” He hollered. “Last thing I need is Daryl worked up because you tried to play nursey to the fuckin’ dead. Don’t you got no sense, woman? Fuck.”

“He’s already dead.” Andrea growled. “You don’t need to shout at her.”

“Shut yer mouth, blondie. You don’t know what yer talking about.” He spun around to leer at the kid’s body. “Why didn’t none uh y’all call fer help? Woulda been better than firing that gun eight hundred times the way you did.”

“It just happened so fast.” Grace whimpered, “I didn’t think.” She could feel herself starting to cry.

Merle looked at her, concern shifting to aggression now that he was sure that the thing had been taken care of. “Don’t start with the goddamned blubbering. It’s dead, alright. Don’t need to go crying over one dead bastard.” He was considering the kid much too closely for Grace’s comfort and she realized that he did in fact know the boy.

“Get yer asses back to that cabin, you hear? All uh you. Now!” He shouted. They scrambled to comply, gathering their things quickly and hurrying toward the safety of the yard. “Send Daryl out here too. Need someone to help me take care uh this son of a bitch.”

Daryl was already on his way toward them when they burst out of the trees and into the yard. By this point Grace had succumb to her tears. “Grace?” He squinted and moved closer, grabbing her just as Merle had done before, only his hands were a little less rough. “Heard the gun, what the hell happened?” He checked her arms quickly for any signs of damage and then looked her over with a critical eye, one hand cupping her cheek to turn her head and get a good look at her.

“Walker. Came out of the forest. She shot it.”

“Figured that much.” He looked pointedly at the hand the still held the gun. “You get him?”

She nodded and wiped at her face.

“Good girl. What’re you cryin’ fer then? Ain’t hurt far as I can see.”

“Merle shouted at her.” Amy offered quietly.

Daryl looked as if he wanted to offer comfort, physically touch her in a way that would give her some sense of reassurance. Instead he dropped his hand to her shoulder. He huffed “Where’s the bastard? I’ll better help him drag it out to the hole and get it burned for the stink attracts anymore.”

Grace sighed, it couldn’t be helped. They really did need to take care of the corpse. That had to come before her dragging Daryl upstairs so they could be alone and she could get petted and fussed over. “He wants you there anyway.” She moved to pull away from him completely but he squeezed her shoulder tighter. She bit her lip and nodded stepping out from under his hand. “Go, before he freaks out.”

“Yeah,” He spoke slowly, looking tentatively between her and the trees, as if he were torn on what he would do. “Get ‘em all in the cabin ‘till we check the area and make sure there ain’t no more.” Casting one last longing glance at the cabin himself, he shook himself and managed to turn away, stomping with a little more force than was needed toward the direction of his brother.

Grace followed him with her eyes until he disappeared into the Georgia forest. She brought her attention back to the people around her. Shane and Carl were comforting Lori, while Andrea and Amy recounted the tale to a concerned looking Dale. Shane grabbed a shovel and his rifle from where they were leaning against the RV and he gave Lori’s shoulder a comforting squeeze before he followed after Daryl.

“We should all get inside.” She offered.

“Won’t they be angry?” Lori asked, watching Shane’s shadow disappear the same way Grace had watched Daryl’s.

Grace shook her head firmly. “Daryl suggested it. It’s safer inside. They’ll check the area and make sure it’s safe then once it is we can go back to whatever it was that we’re doing.” She gestured for them to all go inside. Dale offered to sit out on the porch with one of the guns and keep watch. Andrea too took a weapon and kept guard at the front of the house. Grace insisted that should anything happen they come inside immediately. Everyone was on edge that there were walkers so close.

“Mom look!” Carl pointed up at the deer heads on the ceiling. “They’ve got deer up there.”

Lori seemed less than impressed. “That’s… nice.” She frowned.

Grace laughed. “Maybe you should ask Daryl about them sometime. He’s damn proud of some of those. Not Merle though. Do not talk to him! I couldn’t do that to your mom.”

Lori looked up at Grace with an expression of mock appreciation. “Gee thanks. Encourage my kid to take up redneck activities.”

The other woman shrugged. “Come on,” she encouraged the boy who was still staring up at the glassy eyes of the heads mounted on the wall. “I think there’s a couple of decks of cards in one of the kitchen drawers. Ever played _Bullshit_?” Lori looked horrified but her son skipped along happily after Grace to go find the cards.

Andrea called out the all clear a while later. Grace had long ago given up and turning her phone on when she felt disconnected and it still sat turned off upstairs; she had no sense of time to know how long it took for them to dispose of the body and search for any more of the walking dead in the forest. Two more shots meant they had found something else. It was maybe half an hour, no longer than an hour. It was strange how time could go so quickly sometimes and so slowly at others. Lori seemed grateful to get Carl away from the card games. Grace just laughed at her worry. As if cuss words were their biggest problem right now.

When Grace hunted him down, Daryl was behind the shed sitting on an over turned pail smoking angrily. He had hidden himself away from everyone else, she was sure of it, and yet she still had to go to him. Without asking she already knew.

“Who was he?”

Daryl turned away from her and exhaled. “One of Rooster’s boys.”

“You knew him?”

“Much as anyone knows ‘em. Merle didn’t even know which one he was.”

Grace nodded. Rooster lived even further on the fringes of society than most of the other outcasts. She reached out to rub Daryl’s shoulder, her fingers just barely brushing against his shirt. He twisted viciously out from under her hand, foot drumming against the ground. His head dropped as he brought the small white cylinder to his lips again. “It’s not your fault.” She whispered, pulling her arm back and hugging herself tightly at the rejection. “I shot him.”

“Good thing you did to.” Daryl rubbed his face. “Wouldn’t want to have to put a bullet through yer head now would we.” His face closed off again, hand coming up to run through his hair. Grace chewed her bottom lip. He wouldn’t want to talk about it.

“Merle probably would.” She muttered under her breath.

Daryl shrugged. “Probably.”

Her jaw dropped when he smirked at her. “Daryl Dixon, that is not very nice.”

“Never said I was.” He was trying to joke but it wasn’t fooling her. They stood in silence together, no noise but the sound of Daryl’s exhale when he turned and blew smoke away from her. He lit a second cigarette off the first one and crushed the butt under his boot. “You shook up?” He asked quietly.

“No.”

“Liar.” He was fighting it. Fighting that he felt like shit, that there were crazy dead people, that they were low on hope. “Now come over here quick and give me a kiss to make me feel better, ‘fore Merle notices I’m gone and starts in on me for being a little bitch.” He held out his arms, cigarette hanging from one hand and a cheeky grin on his face.

There he was, _her Daryl_. He was sulky and cranky because he hid himself away from everyone all the time because it was none of anyone’s fucking business and if she happened to get through, well there was nothing a little bit of affection couldn’t distract her from. Hide it with a smile and some innuendo. And she did, she gave in because he initiated it and it made her feel special even though she knew what he was doing and that it wasn’t healthy or stable or what-the-fuck-ever.

Still, she couldn’t help but want to think that her kissing him actually made things better.

—-

“Does this smell alright to you?” Grace held the dish of leftovers from lunch under Amy’s nose. The two were cleaning up after lunch and Grace was sure there was something wrong with the food already. It smelled awful to her. Just thinking of it turned her stomach. The other girl sniffed deeply, then once again.

“Smells alright to me. Why?”

“It smells off to me. How long does it take for food to spoil? I’m worried about holding on to anything in this heat but Merle said he wanted to eat it later.”

Amy grinned. “Let him get sick. Would it really be that much of a loss?”

“When we have to deal with an even more unpleasant Merle, you’ll regret saying that. Right, I’m going to throw it in the fire and he can just fight it out with me after. It smells off to me and the last thing we need is food poisoning.”

“I dunno, it seemed fine. Maybe you could tell him that it fell on the ground. Or maybe it had like a disease in it or something. What’s that thing you keep telling Merle that he’ll get from playing with dead squirrels?”

“Tularaemia?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Tell him he would have gotten that if he ate it.”

“Who would have gotten what?” Shane walked up, stuck his finger in the pot and then stuck it in his mouth. Apparently it tasted fine to him because he didn’t spit it back out.

“Merle would get squirrel plague from eating rotten food. Grace is just being weird again.”

Grace glared. “Um you came up with that, not me.”

The other girl laughed. “Whatever. I didn’t even know what it was called. Still don’t really.”

The dark haired man rolled his eyes, “So I didn’t come over here to talk about dead rodents and the diseases they may or may not carry. Andrea wants to know if you’ve seen the cover for your tent.”

“Did she look in the cupboard by the fire extinguisher?”

“Which one is that?”

“The one right beside the stove.”

“Maybe?” He offered. “Look how about you just go help her and I’ll clean-up lunch. Tired of running messages between the two of you.”

“She probably won’t find it on her own anyway.” Amy dropped her dish cloth and put the pot she had been washing back into the soapy water. She moved off towards the camper mumbling under her breath about how Andrea wouldn’t be able to find her own head if God hadn’t of had the good sense to stick it to her shoulders.

“Do you have siblings?” Shane asked, picking the cloth that Amy had dropped and trying to make conversation.

“Nope, you?”

“Sisters. Two of them. Both older than me. They fight just like those two. Can’t stand it.”

“Always wished I had siblings. Would have made it tougher on my mum though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Dad died when I was six. Motorcycle accident, head on with a semi. Dead before he hit the ground.” Grace shrugged off Shane’s apology. It sure wasn’t his fault her dad was dead. She didn’t really remember him enough to have daddy issues or something. A little bit in high school maybe but everyone’s got issues then, don’t they? “She had enough trouble bringing up one kid by herself let alone more than that. Oh don’t look at me like that. It’s not a big deal really. Mom’s was worse.”

“Your mom died before all this?” Shane gestured vaguely around.

She couldn’t help but laugh a little even if it made her stomach tight still when she talked about her mom’s death.“Yeah, three years, cancer. Funny all my training and when someone you love gets that sick you still can’t do a fucking thing about it. She was sick for two years before it finally figured she had been dragged along for long enough.”

“That’s crap.”

“Sure is.” She placed the cup she had just rinsed out on the towels they were using instead of the dish tray. “Why’s Andrea looking for the tent cover anyway? The only reason you’d need the tent cover is…” Shane looked away and Grace realized that the only reason they would need the tent cover would be if they were packing up the tent. The tent that they were using to sleep in. They only reason they would need to put the tent away is if they weren’t going to sleep in it. And if they weren’t sleeping in it, then they planned on sleeping somewhere else. “Oh.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Well were you planning on saying something?”

He shrugged, “We didn’t want you to get upset.”

This time Grace outright laughed. “Upset!? Why on earth would I be upset? You’re your own people. We don’t own you. We don’t even owe you anything. In fact, you sort of owe me for convincing Daryl to not shoot you in the head.”

Sheepishly he grinned, “I just figured you feel like we were taking advantage.”

“God no. Do you think I want to be stuck here?” She shook her head at his worried look. “That’s a no by the way. So where are you going?”

“Atlanta, hopefully. We’ve been picking up those messages about a displaced persons camp. Seems like as good a place as any to start.”

“Sounds like a plan. Better there than here, right? God there’s no fucking power, we’ve got to bring the water up in buckets and boil it before we drink it and not to mention those things up here. It’ll be much better in Atlanta. They’ll be set-up for this sort of thing. It’s only an hour and a half drive. When are you planning on leaving?”

—-

“I want to go to Atlanta.” Grace put the beer down on the table beside the chair, hoping to use it as some sort of protection against the upcoming tirade.

“Wha?”

“Atlanta. I think we should go. Look the power’s been out for days. There are more of those things showing up here. It isn’t safe anymore. This wasn’t the plan when we came up here. We were going to hide out for a few days until this all got blown over. It’s been almost a week and a half and there’s still no signs of it getting better right away. We need to go to the refugee centre. They’ll have power and water and protection and medical care and all sorts of other things.”

“Look,” Merle squinted up at Grace with confusion. “Don’t rightly know why yer tellin’ me all this but I don’t really give a fuck where you skip off to. You wanna go to Atlanta? Be my guest. Save me the trouble of savin’ yer damn ass from gettin’ infected.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you heard me. I said we. You, me and Daryl. All three of us. Going to Atlanta. Together.”

“Riiight… No. Thanks for the beer and all but I ain’t goin’ to Atlanta and I sure as shit ain’t goin’ to no refugee camp.”

“I think we can negotiate something.” She held up a bag of pill bottles. Merle reached for it, nearly falling out of his chair in an attempt to rescue the stash.

His arms flailed wildly. “Where’d you get that?”

“In your room. You didn’t do a very good job of hiding it now did you.”

“Nosey little bitch! I otta smack you upside the head fer goin’ through my stuff like that. You ain’t got no right!”

“Let’s talk about Atlanta, Merle.”

—-

Daryl had the hood of the truck popped when Grace found him. “Hey,” she called out so as to not startle him.

He grunted in response, pulling his body out to face her. “Hey. What’d you need?” There was oil or something on his forehead. Grace had never been a car person. She knew that you put oil and brake fluid and all sorts of stuff into a truck but she had no clue what most of it actually did or even really what it looked like. Whenever her car made funny noises, she usually just took it to Daryl and he made them go away.

“Is there something wrong with the truck?”

“Nah, just messin’ around. Needed to clear my head. You come out here to ask about the truck?” He smirked. “Usually you don’t give a crap ‘bout nothing mechanical.”

“Still don’t.” She rolled her eyes. “Just want to make sure we can leave if we need to. Well if we want to.”

Daryl leaned back against the front bumper. Pulling a rag from his back pocket he wiped his hands off. “What’s this about?”

“Everyone’s leaving.”

“‘Spected they would eventually. Not gonna get worked up over it.”

There was no nice way to put this. Just rip the Band-Aid off.  The quicker she got this over with the better it would go. No beating around the bush, pretending that it wasn’t going to happen. “I want to go with them.”

“Huh?”

“I want to go with them,” She sighed. “There’s no power. We’re going to run out of food eventually. It’s not safe here anymore and I’m going to Atlanta to that refugee centre.”

“Fuck.” Daryl smashed his fist down on the truck. “No. No fuckin’ way. I ain’t, you can’t. Knew it was a bad idea lettin’ them in like this. Three days? That’s it and you take off with them?” He roared, pushing her away as Grace tried to move closer so she could explain herself.

“Daryl.” She tried to take hold of just one hand to try and stop him from hurting himself.

“Shoulda known! It’s that prick of a cop, ain’t it? He’s been chattin’ you up, now you want to leave with ‘em. How could you be such a heartless bitch? Brought you all the way out here and then you take off with someone else. Right back to Atlanta. Looks like Merle was right. Good for nothing little skank, ain’t you?”

There was no way she could stop him. He was a runaway train of emotions and most of those emotions were blinding rage. “I WANTED YOU TO COME WITH!” She shouted, shoving at him hard enough to catch him off guard. “Prick!” She stormed off toward the house.

“Fuck.” Daryl realized suddenly what he had done.

Merle came around the house swinging a plastic bag in his hands, the pills inside rattling. He was laughing like a fool. “You fucked it up now, didn’t you, baby brother?”

“Shut-up, Merle.” He rubbed his hands across his face frantically, pacing in circles and muttering under his breath. “Fuck. Oh, fuck. Had to lose it on her. Fuck. Dixon, you stupid asshole. Fucked up again.” He kicked at one of the logs lying around the yard and swore again, limping slightly.

Merle cuffed his brother on the back of the head to snap him out of it. “Go after her, you eejit.”

“She doesn’t want to see me.” He hung his head, completely dejected.

The older man snorted and rolled his eyes. “Stop bein’ a pussy an’ go get your woman back before she does take off with someone else.”

Daryl looked up at his brother confused. “What are you sayin’?”

“Daryl, there are only so many women that are willin’ to put up with yer retarded ass this long. Most uh them would just wanna use you and even they would take off first sign uh trouble. Yer lucky someone as pretty and good as Gracie Carter is stupid enough to stick around through yer horseshit.”

“You don’t even _like_ her.”

“Sure I do. She’s hot, tough and damn smart.” Merle chuckled. “Why do you think I’ve spent the last five years tryin’ to get her to dump yer trailer trash self and move on?”

“We ain’t datin’.”

“Don’t be such a bitch about it.” Merle walked away whistling to himself, leaving Daryl to stand in the yard completely confused.

—-

“Grace.” Lori poked her head around the cabin. Grace was sitting on discarded lawn chair that she had found there. Hopefully Daryl wouldn’t think to check for her back here. “Are you alright?”

“Do I look alright?” She snipped, then sighed at the other woman’s look of shock. “Sorry. Just got into a fight with Daryl. Sort of.”

“I know. I heard. I saw you storm off over here and I thought you might want to talk. Would you rather be alone?”

“No it’s fine.” Usually she hated when anyone saw her crying but Lori did seem to be genuinely concerned. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to talk to someone for once.

Lori looked around, her eyes settling on a second lawn chair that leaned against the wall. She tugged the rusty hinges to fold the chair flat and tested it before sitting down. The chair creaked but seemed to be capable of holding weight. “What’s on your mind, hon?” She asked the crying girl.

Grace swallowed and tried to find words that would explain why she was upset. “Have you, have you ever missed someone even though you see them all the time?” The dark haired woman nodded slightly. “Like, they’re there with you right but you miss who they used to be or who they are when it’s just the two of you?”

“You still have them but you imagined things being different and you miss the person you thought you had or could’ve had?”

“Exactly,” She nodded. “That’s Daryl.”

“He’s not who you thought he was?”

“I think maybe he’s exactly who I knew he was but not who I wanted him to be.”

The older woman paused for a moment. She looked off into the distance like she was looking for something. “Maybe he’s both?”

“Is that possible?”

“Sure.” Lori smiled sadly, remembering something Grace didn’t know. “People act differently depending on what situation they’re in. They might be one person at home, in their private life but when they’re faced with a situation publically they may act completely different.”

“How did your husband die?” Grace watched Lori’s face collapse and regretted the question.

Even though she was clearly broken hearted over it, Lori’s lips quirked up slightly. “Being a hero. He was shot and in the hospital when everything happened. Coma for three weeks.”

“You loved him?”

“Always. He loved me and Carl but he had to fight for the greater good. That’s why he was so good at his job. He always knew just what had to be done and how to do it. I was always worried he wouldn’t come home. He just could never see past the bigger picture.”

“You were okay with that?”

Lori shrugged. “He wanted to do great things. He wanted to make the world a better place. Always thinking of the future.”

“Daryl’s the exact opposite. I don’t think he’s thought about the future a day in his life. Too busy surviving today.”

“Is that why you aren’t together?”

“I have no idea.”

Lori shook her head in agreement and the two fell into silence again.

“Sometimes I think we’re too old to change anything,” Grace whispered. “I’m 28, he’s 37. Are we really going to change now? After years of this? I’ve been living on the edge of being apart for two years. He’s been there for me no questions asked since I was seventeen. When anything went wrong I went to Daryl and he took care of me. I’ve been so terrified of losing him that I clung to whatever I could get. Maybe it’s time to cut my ties. I’m so scared to be without him that maybe I need to in order to sort myself out.”

“Have you ever asked him, why he doesn’t want to commit I mean?”

“We’re not talk-about-our-feelings people.”

“But you both have them.”

“Well yeah, I guess, but we’ve never talk about it.”

“In two years you haven’t talked about commitment once.”

“We had an agreement. It ends mutually, we stay friends after, either of us can back out whenever we want. He said once he would marry me.”

The other woman shook her head in confusion. “He’d marry you but not date you?”

“I thought I was pregnant but I wasn’t. It freaked me out and eventually I had to tell him why I was acting so weird. He said he would marry me if I was pregnant and wanted to do things right. It was obligation. He doesn’t want to get married and he sure doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Did you ever think that maybe he’s been waiting for you to back out?”

“Why?” Grace was shocked. Why would she ever leave Daryl? He was one of the best things to happen to her. Her best friend, her favourite lover, if they counted their agreement as a relationship, it was the longest she’d been committed to one person.

“You’re two different people, two different backgrounds, there’s the age difference. He doesn’t exactly seem like most self-confident person. The agreement was that it could end at any time and you’ve never expressed any interest in changing that. How did you react when he said he would marry you?”

“I told him he didn’t have to change his standards for me.” She was beginning to feel embarrassed now. Was this possibly her fault as well?

“He wants to live up to your standards, what he thinks you want, and you turned him down.” Lori pointed out.

“We don’t need to be married to have a kid though. This isn’t the 1800’s. I don’t even care about getting married. It’s all social standards and mostly bullshit unless we’re talking about legally providing for someone. I’ve never planned on getting married. It’s old fashioned.”

“Does Daryl know?”

“No.”

“Do you have friends that are married and having kids?”

“Well yeah, but that’s not me.”

“You’ve stood in weddings?” Grace nodded. “You’ve gone to bridal showers?”

She nodded again. “It wasn’t for me though. It was for them because they’re my friends.”

“Do you think Daryl knows that? Or do you think he assumes that you want that stuff at some point as well? That you want a wedding hall and white dress and all that?”

“I don’t though.”

“But does he know that?”

Grace is quiet. It’s true. She’s never talked about not wanting to get married. How when Bobby had talked about getting married, she thought he was being foolish. How oddly relieved she was when Bobby finally told her they were through. How she had only stayed with him after he started getting bitchy about her moving back with her mother because she felt she owed it to him. But Daryl had probably heard her talking about how Bobby had wanted to propose. “So what? I apologize and we talk about our feelings and live happily ever after.”

“Would that work?”

“Maybe if I gave him a blow job instead of the talking about feelings part.”

Lori pressed her lips together to keep from laughing too hard. “Well, I’m all out of advice.”

“Can I talk to her then?” Daryl shuffled awkwardly at the corner.

Lori looked between the two of them and stood up quickly. “Sure thing. I’ll just go… do something. I’ll do something. Lots to do.” She hurried off around the corner. Daryl leaned back to make sure she was far enough away before he started talking.

“I didn’t mean it.” He started quickly, looking down at his boots.

“You never do.” Grace mumbled. “Where do you get off at snapping at me like that?”

“Look,” Daryl growled defensive, his expression wounded. “Ain’t my fault you talkin’ about takin’ off for Atlanta set me off.”

“How is that my fault? Why the hell would that set you off?”

“Nevergoodenough.” He muttered.

She squinted at him. “What?”

Daryl looked up and Grace suddenly felt caught by the blue fire burning in his eyes. “I ain’t never gonna be good enough for you.”

Her heart caught in her throat. “That’s stupid.”

“Is it?” He caught his thumb between his teeth, gnawing. “One day yer gonna realize that I ain’t some pet you can train. Yer gonna leave me. Got no reason to hang around here no longer. Yer mum’s been dead three years. You’d make better money in the city. You could go back and get that fancy nurse job uh yers back, pay off yer debt, meet a man that’s educated and a good dresser and knows about wine.”

“Daryl, I don’t know anything about wine.”

“Well that shit yer always drinkin’…”

“It’s cheap. I can buy it in a carton for god’s sake! And I’d probably have to work two jobs in Atlanta as well. Medical bills aren’t exactly cheap.” She pushed herself up out of the chair, planting her hands on her hips to challenge him. “Don’t even get me started on living where I want to live. It’s my home town too. You can’t just claim custody of it.”

“Did live there first.”

“You breathed first, would you like the air as well?” She sighed, took a step closer to him. “I wasn’t going back to Atlanta for Atlanta’s sake, for your information.”

“No?”

“I meant it when I said I wanted you to come with me. I just want to be somewhere safe and with you. I just, I just want be with you.”

Daryl turned away, his hands fell to his sides. She could tell he was getting uncomfortable by the way he kept rubbing his hands against his hips, sliding them in and out of his pockets. “What would you need me for? You got people around. They’ll keep you outta trouble. Keep you safe. Don’t need me hangin’ ‘round and fuckin’ shit up.”

“That’s not true, Dare. You don’t fuck shit up.”

“Everything I touch gets ruined.”

“Bullshit. You fix houses, cars, bikes. If you think about there are a lot of things you’ve actually made or made better. There are a million reasons why a girl would be lucky to have you. You get rid of the scary sounds my car sometimes makes. You stopped the leak on my shower head. I never have to worry about people skeezing on me at the bar because I know you’d deck them if they tried anything. You aren’t afraid of catching the spiders that hang out under my living room window. You got the pump working at the cabin. You hunt so we have fresh meat. You get rid of those things even if they sort of freak you out just as much as they do the rest of us. There are probably hundreds of things you can do that I wouldn’t have a clue where to start. You’re damn smart.”

“Never even graduated.”

“You’ve got your GED though.”

“Whatever.”

“Daryl, look around.” She waved her hands frantically trying to get him to see her point. “Where we are, high school grades aren’t really going to matter much. College matters less. We’re fighting for survival and you know what you’re doing. We wouldn’t ever run out of water because you’d think to ration supplies. You’re good at this sort of thing. If you hadn’t of made me carry a gun, I’d be dead or at the very least infected. I’m not smart when it comes to the end of the world. I don’t know how to survive without you and I wouldn’t want to.” He looked up shocked. “If anyone else had come in that night and asked me to leave with them I would have stayed.”

“Even knowin’ what you know now?” His voice was high and hopeful but she could see the doubt in his eyes.

“Even then. I didn’t just leave because I was scared. I left because I couldn’t stand to lose you! I wanted to go with you where you were going and I want you to come with me now.” She held up her left hand pointed where her tiny tattoo was. “If my friends jumped off a bridged, I’d only jump if you were one of them.”

“I ain’t leaving without my brother.”

She smiled, “Knew you’d say that. I talked to him already. The guy hates me but I convinced him to come with so you couldn’t use it as an excuse.”

“Merle doesn’t hate you.”

“Sure he does, why else would he be constantly trying get rid of me?”

Daryl paused to consider it. “I think,” he started, “that he’s tryin’ to get you to leave me before you leave me. He’s tryin’ to protect me”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Before you do something that really hurts me, I mean. Like how this never got official. How we’re always just friends.”

“That was your rule.”

“So you wouldn’t feel trapped!” He protested. “Didn’t wanna be clingy if you just wanted a fling. I still wanted us to be friends if it all went to hell.”

“It’s not trapped when you want it.”

“Then why not say something sooner? Ain’t girls supposed to be all chatty about their feelin’s?”

“Not if the girl is sleeping with a guy who can barely talk to begin with. Maybe she didn’t want to scare him off either. Maybe she thought feelings talk would make him run the other direction. Maybe girls aren’t the only ones that can start a conversation if they don’t like how things are going!” She sort of shouted the last part.

He moved forward, closing the gap between them swiftly. “So what’re we gonna do then?” He pulled her too him.

“I don’t know.” Grace clung to him, her hands cradled his skull, fingers wrapped around clumps of his hair.

“You wanna do it with me?”

“More than you know.”

“Ain’t gonna be chatty or touchy-feely none when people can see.”

“I don’t care.”

“You can’t go flirtin’ with nobody, ‘specially not cops.”

“You neither. Especially the cops part.” He snorted in response. She rolled her eyes but smiled. “And you don’t get to call me names every time you get pissed off. We won’t just have a heart to heart right there in front of everyone but you give me a chance to explain myself, alright?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” They stood together in silence for a moment before Grace asked, “Would you really be pissed if I was interested in Shane?”

He considered her seriously for a moment and growled, “Daryl Dixon don’t share.”

“Ease up caveman, I’m not.” She laughed quietly. “Besides Grace Carter _don’t share_ either.”

Daryl rested his forehead against hers softly, smiling. “Can’t believe you convinced Merle to go.”

“I didn’t want you to have any excuses.”

“You really want me even if I’m trailer trash?”

She scolded him softly, “you aren’t trash. The trailer is to be debated.”

“So am I yer boyfriend or somethin’ now?” He winced at the term.

“Something,” Grace grinned at him. “I don’t care what we call it. We’re not dating. It’s not like you’re going to take me out to dinner and a movie any time soon. I just want to know you aren’t leaving me. That you won’t change your mind.”

“If I wanted to change my mind, don’t you think I woulda done that a long time ago. A man don’t just go droppin’ the best woman he ever got. When he gets his woman, he’ll follow her wherever she goes.”

“Your woman?”

He nodded, “Merle said you was. Didn’t think it was true ‘till now.”

“What else did he say.”

“That I’m lucky someone like you put up with my horseshit.”

“As lucky I am that you put up with mine. Maybe your brother isn’t so stupid after all,” she snickered. “Your woman.” Grace rolled it around, testing the weight of it. “I sorta like that.”

“Do you now?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Only if you’ll be my man.”And she kissed him against the cabin, hidden away from everyone else. For once she was excited for the future, not only because they had plans but because they had made those plans together.


	8. Chapter Seven

Shane explained how things had been while they were travelling down from Kentucky: long waits on the major highways, road blocks, car searches by military whenever they wanted to pass through a city or town, terrifying scenes whenever they got too near large crowds of people. Grace suddenly wanted to take back ever wanting to leave the known comfort of the cabin for the unknown of out there. Just before sunset though a second thing had shambled into the yard and had to be put down. They didn’t have time to drag it out to the pit before the woods got dark so Shane and Daryl had dragged it just beyond the trees. The smell hung around long after it was gone though.

 

For the first time they were all sleeping in the cabin. With the unknown of whatever was out there, a brief but to the point statement from Daryl about bringing their stuff inside set everyone into motion about shifting over bedding and duffle bags. There were two bunk beds in each of the downstairs bedrooms. Lori, Carl, Andrea and Amy were in one room and - though Merle had protested loudly - Merle, Shane and Dale were sharing the other.

 

“Should bring my mattress up and sleep on yer floor.” Merle grunted at Grace as she moved around the kitchen sorting through their remaining supplies trying to decide what they needed to take with them. He was leaning unhappily against a wall as if he was the only thing holding it up. It was dark outside, Lori had already tucked Carl into bed and the adults were sitting in the living room around a map. Daryl was pointing out back roads and places he thought would be too busy, debating the pros and cons of where they should travel to make the journey smoothest.

 

“Oh sweetie.” She turned to him and smiled sarcastically, “If you have nightmares then you just have to say something.”

 

“Bitch.” He stomped away from her. Daryl looked up as his brother moved toward the door.

 

“Where you goin’, Merle?”

 

“Out.”

 

“Out where? You don’t need to be goin’ too far when it’s dark like this.”

 

Merle patted lewdly at his hip. “I got a little somethin’ that should take care of whatever I run across.”

 

Grace snickered. “Dropping your pants, Merle? That should scare off anything that dares to attack you.” Merle slammed the door. Daryl shook his head and Grace just shrugged. Just because he supposedly didn’t hate her, didn’t mean they were on good terms. It didn’t change anything between them.

 

“Here’s another box.” Amy set the cardboard box on the table and picked up a can. “How should we go about packing things?”

 

“Try to put the lighter stuff in the less solid boxes I guess. We don’t want any of them breaking when we take them outside tomorrow morning.”

 

“That makes sense.” The blonde girl tested the bottom of a box and then put the can in it. “We’ll try to keep the types together as best as possible. That way we can sort of plan meals around what we have.”

 

“Wouldn’t want to plan roast squirrel if we didn’t have cranberry sauce.” Grace teased.

 

“What is it with you people and eating squirrels?” Amy paled even further at the thought.

 

Grace shrugged. “Sort of an inside joke I guess.”

 

“You know, I don’t understand the Dixons.” The blonde squeezed two boxes of pasta in the space between a half eaten box of Cheerios and the side of the larger box.

 

“Just take the Cheerios out of the box. It’ll save space.”

 

“Right, anyway. There’s something weird about them. Daryl’s better at getting along with people but even he’s got a temper and Merle is downright unhinged. He offered me ecstasy yesterday.”

 

“Did you take it?”

 

“Of course not! Who knows what it was.”

 

“Good, he probably would have just gotten angry with you for being greedy and claimed you were stealing from him.”

 

Amy looked appalled. “I don’t know how you stand them, Grace. They’re so weird. You’re more like us, regular every day normal.”

 

“Am I now?”

 

“Yeah, at least you don’t seem like a backwater hillbilly.” Amy completely missed the sarcasm in Grace’s voice. “I don’t know why you’re even with Daryl. You’re far too good for him.”

 

“Look,” Grace put a can down a little too hard and Amy jumped. She shot a glance at the group around the map. They didn’t seem to notice anything happening.  Lowering her voice, she hissed, “I’d appreciate if you didn’t get involved in what you don’t understand. Daryl is one of the sweetest, most loyal men I know. He’s been there for me more times than I can count and he’s sure as hell saved your asses while you were here. Our relationship is private and between Daryl and me. It’s none of your fucking business, understand?”

 

Amy nodded swiftly, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to say I don’t see the appeal. He’s not my type.”

 

Grace tried to relax but found it difficult to rein in her temper. She probably had spent too much time around the brothers. She was used to being able to snap at anyone who pissed her off. “That’s good.” She tried joking, her eyes moving to Daryl. He was running his finger down the map, trying to get his point across while Shane argued his own plan. It was good to see him interacting a little with the others. “Because he’s mine.” The joke came out a little more harshly than she had wanted it too.

 

—-

 

“Plannin’ on headin’ up to bed soon?” Daryl rubbed her shoulder and leaned to rub his cheek against her neck. Shane, Dale and Andrea had finally gone to sleep when Merle stumbled into the cabin, eyes bloodshot and passed out in his room on the bottom bunk of his bed. Lori and Amy had gone to bed well before that. It was just the two of them awake now. At electric lamp at each end of the room washed them in pale light.

 

“Were you waiting for me?” She kept sorting, wanting him to earn it even though they both know she’s going to give in to his less than subtle plea for sex. “Go on up. I’ll meet you once I’m done this.” Grace has got just one last shelf to empty and there’s barely anything on it she thinks they should take. After sorting through an entire drawer of boot laces she’s quite sure the brothers have some sort of problem with getting rid of things in case one day it might be useful.

 

He grunted in her ear, petting her spine. “D’you really wanna do that right now?” A single finger traced her vertebrae. She shivered. “Who knows what sorta places yer gonna be sleepin’ in the next bit. Probably end up in a tent next to a barbed wire fence.”

 

“And a man named Bubba?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“There’s always a man named Bubba in uncomfortable hypothetical situations.” She turned and smiled at him.

 

“Dunno sweetheart, that might only be prison.”

 

He drew her towards him, snuggling himself against her neck and pressing light kisses against her skin. Grace sighed into the touch. She had him. She had him for all and forever, and he cared about her. Really truly cared. Not just friendship with sex on the side. It was one of those moments she wanted to freeze in time and hold onto forever. “We could always put the mattress in the back of the truck. It is called a bed after all.”

 

Daryl pulled back to look up at her. “That ain’t a half bad idea.”

 

Quickly she pressed her lips to his. “Nope, upstairs now?”

 

He kissed her softly against the counter, in no hurry to move. His hands cupping her ass pulled her firmly to him and she clung to his shirt. Grace thoroughly explored Daryl’s mouth, reacquainting herself with his taste and texture. Coming home after work this had been their usual routine, when they were too tired to really move any further than the kitchen but still had plans on going to bed, completely unworried about being caught. Casual and relaxed, not a single care. Daryl hadn’t been like this for over a week. Just touching him Grace could feel how tense he kept his body. Now though he had finally let go of the tension.

 

“Mmmm.” She sighed happily as he gave her ass a final squeeze and slid his hands upward and under her top, rough fingers against her stomach, stroking her skin. He smiled against her lips.

 

Behind her, Grace heard the sound of a door pop and they both turned sharply. Merle Dixon stumbled out of the bedroom, nearly crashing into the couch. “Mornin’ assholes.” He spoke a little too loudly for how close everyone was sleeping. Daryl pulled back a little, though he seemed reluctant. It was clear that his brother was still mostly intoxicated and probably wouldn’t remember the large majority of this interaction tomorrow.

 

“Go back to bed, Merle.” He tried.

 

“Gotta piss.” Merle shuffled across the room to unlock the door. Daryl looked down at Grace and then across the room at his brother.

 

“Do you think that’s smart?” Merle didn’t answer, just kept going as if he hadn’t heard and Daryl groaned.

 

“Go.” She insisted, planting her hands on his chest firmly and pushing. His grip didn’t loosen. “Seriously,” She gave him a quick peck. “Make sure we don’t have to bury him tomorrow. I’ll be upstairs when you get back.”

 

He looked completely relieved. A quick hug of thanks and he followed after his brother, who had already let himself out. On his way out, he grabbed the shotgun from where it leaned against the table. Grace was secretly relieved. If anything was out there in the dark, they would be okay. She straightened out her shirt and went to retrieve the lamp from beside the fridge. It was dark upstairs and she didn’t want to fall down the ladder and break her neck. She moved the second lamp closer to the door for when Daryl got back. Outside she could hear him arguing quietly with Merle. It was like having an overgrown four year old really, but much more difficult to get him to take a bath and act appropriately.

 

Grace padded softly across the floor to where the ladder was and pulled the rope to drop it down. She went up quietly and stood at the top trying to decide if she should pull the ladder back up after her or not. Finally she decided to just leave it down. Daryl would be back in soon enough and everyone else was asleep. She put the lamp down beside the bed, dimming it to the lowest setting. With her hands free she stripped down quickly, kicking her pile of clothes toward the end of the bed so Daryl wouldn’t trip over them. There was no need for slow and sensual undressing when she was alone. He’d be distracted enough to find her naked to not care.

 

She pulled back the sheets and crawled into bed to wait. The window was still slightly open and she could hear Daryl arguing quietly in the yard with Merle. It would be a while before he got up here. She was tired of Merle’s bullshit. A couple of bottles of wine didn’t make up for his bad attitude and reckless behaviour. All she’d wanted was to spend the first night as _them_ together and once again Merle was causing trouble. Whatever, she didn’t have to wait around for Daryl if she wanted to get off.

 

She slid her hand down, ignoring her breasts completely. That was Daryl territory. Playing with them herself rarely did much but draw out the process. Quite honestly she’d rather be two fingers deep and rub herself off. She rubbed her clit with long slow strokes, teasing just enough to get herself wet.

 

Downstairs the door smashed open and Daryl called out , “Fuckin’ A, Merle.”

 

“Stop followin’ me ‘round like a little bitch.”

 

“Fuck.” She muttered reaching down to push her fingers inside. She pressed them upward quickly, seeking out the fastest possible pleasure. Best. Tension. Relief. Ever. Her other hand moved down to rub her clit. Sighing, her legs fell further apart. She had never been noisy when it came to orgasm; rather than moaning and making a fuss, she usually went silent the closer she got.  Her fingers were wet now. Sliding easily in and out, twisting quickly to curve upward as they pulled free and then back in deep.

 

Sliding her fingers up, she spread wetness over her clit. The fingers on both hands moving in perfectly timed and well practiced unison. It was quiet now below her except for Daryl walking across the floor toward the ladder. She slowed her fingers. Not attempting to reach completion now, just passing the time. She might as well wait for him if he was going to make an appearance.

 

The ladder creaked, as Daryl climbed into the loft, muttering profanity to himself. His head came into view first, eyes squinting in the dim light. “Grace?” He whispered.

 

“Unh.” She managed, words failing to form.

 

His slow grin of realization made her smile back. “Sneaky girl, gettin’ started without me.” He toed off his boots as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. The buttons undone he shrugged it off, moving his hands to his belt. Grace stretched out dramatically, making sure Daryl knew exactly what was going on under the sheet. He swallowed thickly, eyes darkening. He hurried to undo his pants, dropping them quickly and stepping out of them. Completely out of character, he wore nothing underneath them. Part of his shy quirks about his body usually had him layering up. Wife beaters under his button downs, rarely going commando.

 

Compulsively she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. His dick was swelling already, half hard. “Get in bed.” She instructed.

 

He reached down, palming himself casually. “Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah. Don’t make me beg ‘cause I’m already going here and I can just finish myself off if you don’t want to participate.” She flexed her fingers, shoulders and head thrown back and her chest pushing forward as her back arched. She was doing it for show mostly but for a moment she forgot to exhale, holding her breath and then releasing it in a rush. Daryl dropped his dick immediately and bent to tug his socks off.

 

He stalked over to the bed and threw the sheet off of her. The loft was hot from the heat beating on the roof all day but the difference between being out from under the sheets brought goose bumps out on her skin. Or maybe it was just the way Daryl was staring at her.

 

“Hey,” she murmured. “I’m up here.”

 

“And yer hands are down there.”

 

She stilled her hands immediately, pulling them away from herself.  “That better?”

 

“Not really.” Grinning just a little he crawled into bed. Daryl slid up beside Grace, pushing an arm under her head. Laying on his side next to her, he pulled her tight against his chest. She turned as he pulled her face up towards his, tongues meeting insistently. Slowly they made-out, just holding each other, hands not straying further down than each other’s cheeks, neck and shoulders.  Daryl caught Grace’s hand with the one he didn’t have around her shoulders, his palm against the back of her hand, twisting their fingers together. He drew her hand down her body, pushing her onto her back again. “Again.” He commanded, licking her neck. Pulling back to watch her. “Touch yerself again.” His hand guided hers across her stomach downward until they reached the apex of her thighs. He released her, ghosting his palm back upward and slowly cupping a breast.

 

She sighed, body relaxing against his, eyes closed, losing herself. Her fingers carded through curls, then dipped further down. She was still wet, getting wetter the more Daryl encouraged her, but she probed shallowly at her entrance to spread it upward. Two fingers rubbed downward sliding against her clit, pressing hard and building friction. Back up. Down. _Up. Down. **Up. Down.**_

****

“Dare.” Grace whimpered as he pinched her nipple. He switched to the other side, rough fingers squeezing and caressing. She brought her free hand down, plunging fingers inside quickly. Daryl’s prick was pressing insistently against her thigh. For a second she forgot to breath, then gasped harshly. Hips canting upward, legs falling apart, nerves humming. “So fucking close.”

 

Daryl petted her shoulder lightly as he held her. “Easy, sweetheart.” She opened her eyes, his face was surprisingly close to hers. “Atta girl.” He smiled, leaned down and kissed her softly. Deciding to finally stop his teasing, he released her breast and brought his hand to her hip, tracing the skin there. Fingers moving further downward, he slid hers free, dropping her hand to the side, only to return and replace them with his own. His hips shifted against her. She whined quietly and he kissed her again, stopping the last of her rational thought.

 

Their hands worked her together, brushing knuckles and finger tips as her body grew more and more tense. Daryl caught her mouth with his, forcing his tongue past her teeth, groaning against her. Pulling back he nipped as her jaw, twisting his fingers inside her, digits moving rough and frantic. They both knew how close she was. Her back began to bow against the arm that she had almost forgotten was holding her, head thrown back, mouth open. For a moment the world froze, all the pressure narrowing in on delicious friction and the heat pooling in her belly. She inhaled, body locking around his fingers as Daryl continued to move them. Grace came apart with a gasp, body trembling, clenching around Daryl’s fingers, slumping against him.

 

He whispered against her neck, muttering endearments, “There’s a good girl. Liked that huh, sweetheart? Mmm, so fuckin’ wet. Want inside you.” Following each with tender kisses, he cradled her as she came down. Finally when she had caught her breath he slid his fingers free and used his hand to pull her leg up. He twisted his hips, bringing his legs between hers. Realizing what he planned on doing, Grace held her leg up herself so he had a free hand to position himself against her. Slowly he slid into her from behind.

 

Daryl pulled her closer as he began to move. As far as sex went, it was his game now. She liked to think of this as lazy sex. She’d already gotten off and was sure that she probably wouldn’t again but let Daryl do his thing anyway. She had already done her work and gotten her reward but wasn’t looking for more. She turned to him, tilting her head for a kiss. He complied readily, sucking her tongue into his mouth, twisting it with his own. As he began to lose interest in the kiss she pulled back, leaning their heads close together. His hair was sweaty, completely tousled. Grace brought up her hand and cupped his cheek, instantly he sought out her eyes, his hips changing rhythm.

 

She squeezed and he faltered, losing for a second the small grip on reality he still had. She could feel his muscles working, the flex of his stomach, the rhythm of his hips, the strain of his arm under her. Staring into his eyes she shifted her hips to meet his, eager to bring him to completion. When his eyes began to cloud she knew her wouldn’t need much more encouragement and she pressed her lips back to his, their tongues battling furiously. He pulled back only as his pattern changed to a jerky bucking and he settled himself deep inside her, grunting release and slumping to rest his face against her neck.

 

“Amazing fuckin’ Grace.” He murmured sleepily.

 

“Get the light before you pass out there, big boy.” She chuckled at him, not bothering for once to scold him about the nickname.

 

He groaned and pulled himself free, slipping from her and allowing her leg to fall back down. Grace rolled over onto her side. Daryl leaned up and blindly patted for the lamp, finally finding the switch and pressing it several times before it actually turned off. He slid back in behind her, pulling the covers up and squashing his face against her hair. She was already half asleep and could barely put any effort into the way his breathing was tickling her ear.

 

—-

 

“How the fuck did we get this thing up there in the first place?” Daryl turned to ponder the hole in the ceiling once more. “This ain’t gonna work.” He reached up, tugging at the mattress that seemed to be just a little too big to go downstairs.

 

It was still early morning, though everyone was already dressed and everything had been moved into the vehicles for when they left. The rest of the beds had been stripped down. The smaller bunk bed mattresses had made their way into the back of the RV. Merle was insistent that when they stopped, his would be given back. Andrea assured him that no one wanted to sleep on his mattress. For once, almost everyone seemed to be in simultaneous okay moods. Shane had even offered a hand but Daryl insisted on getting the larger mattress down himself.

 

Once that was done and their supplies were loaded on top of it they could leave.

 

“Can we turn it the other way?” Grace suggested.

 

Daryl looked up at her and shrugged. “Worth a shot. Maybe if we go straight up and down it’ll work better.”

 

They struggled to turn the mattress around while gravity insisted they didn’t. Fighting against fabric and springs, they sweated in the heat. Grace couldn’t see him with the way they were now separated but she was sure Daryl wasn’t having any easier of a time with it.

 

It took them another twenty minutes to contort the mattress enough to get it free. Grace asked several times that they just give up and leave it but Daryl was determined that they bring it along now that they had started the process. Bringing it the rest of the way out of the cabin was easily enough managed and they slid it into the back of the truck no problem.

 

“About ready to head out?” Shane called across the yard. He and Dale were under the hood of the RV again making last minute adjustments to something Grace didn’t understand.

 

“Yeah,” Grace pulled her hair back, tightening the elastic she kept around her wrist around her hair in a sloppy bun. “How it is already this hot out?” She was sweating from moving the mattress and really couldn’t wait to roll all the windows down and just drive away from here.

 

“Where’s Merle?” Daryl looked around, his eyes falling on his brother’s bike but his brother was nowhere to be seen.

 

Grace scanned the yard herself and didn’t see any sign of him either. “We could always leave without him.” She said, only half joking.

 

“Can’t get rid uh me that easy, girly.” Merle stepped out of the shed rubbing his face.

 

“Can always try.” She muttered.

 

—-

 

They listened to the radio for the first fifteen minutes until Grace was fed-up with the repeating messages promising shelter and safety should they be able to reach the refugee centre. Daryl looked over grimly as she slumped back against the bucket seat, frustrated. Ahead of them Merle drove steadily. Behind them was Lori’s SUV driven by Shane, followed by the RV. Grace had never been on a longer car ride. She dreaded what they would see when they got into town.

 

The convoy was just about to hit the main highway that would bring them toward civilization when Merle pulled over. Shane hopped out of the car, leaving Lori and Carl inside and walked up beside Daryl’s truck. “What’s the matter with your brother?”

 

“How’s about you ask him.” Daryl grunted. “He’s right fuckin’ there.”

 

Shane “What’s going on Merle?”

 

“We go left we head into town, right? Well how’s about we go right.”

 

“Don’t think we should be changing the plans, now do you?” Shane shook his head.

 

“There’s a hock shop up there.” Merle sneered. “This ain’t no trip to Disney. They sell guns there. Wouldn’t mind gettin’ my hands on a few.”

 

“You’re going to steal guns?” The officer shook his head. “No, that’s just…”

 

“Actually seems like a pretty good idea to me. You said town was overrun.” She looked down at her lap. Since meeting that boy in the woods Grace hadn’t gone anywhere without that gun. Daryl teased her about it but she was becoming frighteningly attached to that thing. “We need guns.”

 

“See?” Merle puffed up proudly.

 

Dale had stepped out of the RV and came over to join the conversation. “Couldn’t hurt could it? We set a time to get back on the road, give ourselves, what, an hour there? Tops. We’ll still get to Atlanta with plenty of time before night fall.”

 

Again Merle nodded, he was excited about something. Grace rarely saw him like this. If it weren’t for the idea that they may get more firepower she wouldn’t ever want to go along with anything he said. It freaked her out to see him like this.

 

Guns though.

 

“Alright.” Shane pondered it, nodding slowly. “No more than an hour though. Don’t want to attract anything to us being this close to town.”

 

—-

 

The parking lot at the pawn shop was empty. The door was shut and the usual “SELL YOUR GOLD FOR INSTANT CASH” sandwich board that stood by the road had fallen over. The fields on either side of it made the place look even more abandoned. Grace had been here a few times with Daryl running errands and she had never seen it deserted. Usually there were cars and people and activity. Many times the parking lot was so full that cars parked on the grass.

 

Merle hopped off his bike, putting the kickstand down, and walked to the front door. Bringing his hands up around his eyes he peered in the windows, first one side of the front door and then the other. Waving them over, he signalled the all clear.

 

Grace popped the handle of the truck door and let herself out. Daryl had parked closer to the road than the door so she glanced cautiously around at the negative space between her and the building before following Daryl to meet his brother at the front door. The rest of the group gathered as well. Before they had made it over, Merle wrapped his hand in a shop rag and put his fist through the glass.

 

“They should probably have a better security system.” Andrea looked appalled.

 

“They did.” Merle smirked. “Alarms don’t sound when there’s no power. Hey kid!” he called to Carl and Lori protectively threw an arm around her son. “Aw relax.” He snorted. “My hand’s just too fuckin’ big to reach the lock. Kid’s got baby fingers.”

 

“No way.” Lori stood firmly. “I will not have him a part of this, whatever this is.”

 

“We’re lootin’.” The older Dixon whooped. “We need to get into that damn buildin’ though.”

 

Grace rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake. Move, Merle.” She pushed him out of the way. Merle might have had fat arms but hers would surely fit.

 

“Atta girl.” Merle patted her.

 

Grace gave him a harder shove, the last thing she needed was him touching her. He stepped back, completely unfazed. “Gimme that.” She pulled the scrap of material out of his hand and wrapped her wrist to protect herself from any edges to the glass. Her hand pushed between the bars on the door. It was a tight squeeze but by turning to the side she could get her arm in far enough to reach the handle. She tried turning it only to meet resistance. The deadbolt was turned. A few inches further up she felt the small knob and twisted in into second position. With her free hand she tried the outer knob. Almost magically it opened, the door swinging inward.

 

“And we’re in.” She murmured.

 

Merle pushed past her without so much as a thank-you, disappearing into the darkened store. What had seemed like an alright idea in the beginning now seemed really, really stupid. It wasn’t pitch black inside but who knew what they would find in there.

 

“Anyone else want to go next?” Andrea asked hopefully. Grace smiled at her, glad someone else was thinking the same thing she was.

 

“Aw hell.” Daryl rolled his eyes, pushing his way to the front of the group and following his brother. Shane followed closely behind, gun drawn.

 

“I think we’re alright in here.” The officer said, scanning quickly, doing a fast paced sweep and taking in the contents of the store. “You can come on in.” They followed slowly.

 

“Don’t touch anything.” Lori told Carl who was eyeing everything in the store. Grace wasn’t sure why Lori didn’t just stay in the vehicle but then she saw the fear in the other woman’s eyes and realized that she was probably there for the same reason Grace was. Staying outside seemed an even bigger risk than moving with the group.

 

Following the low sound of voices, the group found the Dixon brothers standing over the shattered case of the gun display. Merle was tossing guns aside. “All they got in here is bitch guns.” He muttered angrily. “Waste of fuckin’ time.”

 

“Gee, Merle. It was your idea and all.” Grace quipped. She knew just what Merle was after. Usually they had several big hunting rifles but that case was empty today. Even the handguns that they did have seemed smaller than the typical ones. It was as if everyone suddenly wanted to hold on to their weapons a whole lot more than they needed the money.

 

“So what now?” Amy wondered. “We just leave?”

 

“Well hold up.” Shane considered the guns. “They aren’t so bad.”

 

“Not wastin’ no more of my time.” Merle clomped away. “Gonna see what else I can find ‘round here.”

 

While Shane was explaining the guns to the rest of the group, Grace walked over to Daryl who had pulled himself away from everyone else in typical Daryl fashion. “Hey. What’d you find?”

 

“Wha?” He jumped then realized it was just her. “Jesus, sneak up on me much!”

 

“We’re all right here, Daryl. You like zoned. Holy crap! What is that thing?”

 

In his hands Daryl was holding what looked to be some sort of torture device; metal, shiny and intimidating as fuck in the dim light. “Crossbow.” He said offhandedly but she could tell from the way he was looking at it, he was falling in love.

 

“Do you even know how to use one of those things?”

 

“Sure, had a one as a kid. Weren’t too good of nothing but it was fun as hell.”

 

Yup, he was gone. Like any man, Daryl liked his toys and this was just going to be the next one in a long line of them. “You’re taking that thing aren’t you. Does it even have arrows?”

 

“Bolts. Crossbow’s don’t got no _arrows_.”

 

“Whatever. Does it have bolts then?”

 

“Yeah, in the case.” He gestured to the shattered display case and there were in fact items resembling arrows in the case, though they were for some reason not called arrows.

 

She picked one up and spun it around. “So this isn’t an arrow?”

 

He shot her a dirty look and she grinned at him. “I ain’t playin’ cowboys and In’jins.” He tugged it out of her fingers delicately.

 

“Just don’t lose an eye.”

 

“YOWIE!” Merle shouted from somewhere outside. The group froze and then raced for the exit, Daryl clinging to his new toy and pushing Grace behind him to shield her from whatever was happening. Lori whimpered, pulling Carl behind the counter. Amy followed, ducking after them to crouch when no one could see them.

 

Grace considered her options. Andrea stood nearby seeming to be trying to make the same choice. Dale clutched awkwardly to one of the guns but she knew he had less idea what to do with it that she had to do with the one on her hip.

 

Finally she reached down and lifted her shirt to pull the gun from her waistband. Andrea snapped to attention as well. It couldn’t have been more than a thirty second decision but it felt like eternity. The four of them spilled out into the sunlight Shane ahead of them, his gun raised and sweeping side by side. Daryl was close behind, the single “bolt” already loaded in the crossbow. It was stupid but Grace figured she could toss him the gun she was holding and it would be in better hands than hers. Andrea had produced her own small handgun.

 

This was a stupid, stupid way to approach an unknown situation. And to save Merle’s ass? It wasn’t worth getting themselves killed over.

 

Luckily Merle wasn’t in any sort of danger. Three huge and rusted pick-ups had pulled into the parking lot, not bothering to park properly. Merle was practically dancing between the trucks, clasping hands and pulling the men into one armed hugs. It didn’t take a genius to see that he wasn’t in any danger. The dozen or so men that had arrived in the trucks were friends.

 

“Shit, Merle.” Daryl snorted, dropping the crossbow to his side.

 

“Are those Rooster’s boys?”

 

“Yeah.” He nodded, leaning the crossbow against the building, his new toy discarded. Grace wasn’t sure if he was happy to see them or not but him putting down the weapon made her sure they would be okay. Carefully she flicked the safety back on the gun and hid in under her shirt again, making sure to smooth the fabric so it couldn’t be seen.

 

 Shane looked at the group anxiously but slowly lowered his rifle as well. Andrea wasn’t as convinced. She clung to her gun tightly looking between Grace and these strange men the Merle seemed so fond of. “Who the hell are they?”

 

“Those are the Brewsters. Some of them at least.” Merle had called Daryl over. He seemed uncomfortable but was reintroducing himself to some of the boys he had grown-up with. He’d probably never met some of the younger boys, the children of Rooster’s kids who, Daryl would be more likely to be acquainted with; or if he had, he didn’t remember them. There were so many you would need to live as closely together as the family did to keep them all straight. “They’re a local family; huge, religious, doesn’t get along too well with others. They tend to keep to themselves mostly but Merle’s got a fondness for them. I think it’s because they party almost as hard as he does.”

 

“So they’re safe though?”

 

“Probably. I’ve never had any trouble with them personally. They lean a little toward the chauvinist side of things though.”

 

Andrea scrunched up her face in disgust. “I’m going to get Amy.”

 

Grace turned to follow her when Merle caught sight of her. “Git over here, woman an’ say yer hellos.”

 

She huffed, really preferring not to deal with the male half of the Brewster family but not wanting to start a fight either. Though she had worked with the women and children at the clinic and felt pity toward them, she was not a fan of Rooster’s boys. Looking wistfully back at the door where Andrea had disappeared, she turned toward the group of men and reluctantly made her way over to them. Merle greeted her warmly, cupping her on the back and pushing her forward. Grace recognized only a few of the men by name but they were easily all related.

 

“See this here’s Gracie Carter.” Merle was saying. “She stupid enough to hang around with my dumbass baby brother still but she’s pretty smart when it comes to doctorin’ things.”

 

Grace pulled herself out from under Merle’s arm and took a step closer to Daryl. He didn’t reach for her but she felt better standing close to him and away from Merle. Even though he had complimented her she wasn’t sure what kind of game he was playing.

 

One of the men spoke. He was Junior, Rooster’s oldest son. The oldest of the nine Brewster boys, Robert Brewster Jr. was his father’s second in command. As his father had aged, Junior had taken over most of the family’s affairs and he was already grooming his own son to take over when he decided to “retire”. She noted that Ken and Joey were there as well to back up their older brother. The only ones of the grandsons she knew though were Vince and Nicholas but they were both younger than her. She had gone to school with them. The rest were much younger than her, even though she had seen a few of them around town. “You wouldn’t mind takin’ some time to come out and check on one of our little ones, would you?”

 

“Huh?” Grace had completely lost her train of though. Quickly she corrected herself. These weren’t the sort of people she wanted to seem incompetent around. “I mean, pardon?”

 

“One of our little ones has taken a fever. Pretty bad. She ain’t doing so well. We had a run in with some of these dead devils and lost a few people. We’ve been out here lookin’ for a couple of our boys that got lost in the scuffle.” Junior looked at her almost hopefully, “I was hopin’ you would be willing to come over to our place and give Ems a look over.”

 

“The rest of the group…” She started to make excuses. Grace always felt guilty when it came to these people but she wanted to be gone, some place safe and away from all of this. They said they had been attacked. What if this was leading them into more of those things? “We wanted to get to Atlanta before dark.”

 

“What’s going on?” Shane sauntered up with his ‘can I help you sir’ attitude. Ever the fucking cop that one, though he hadn’t seemed to have any trouble with their little break and enter earlier.

 

“One of their little girls is sick. They want me to go have a look at her.”

 

The officer furrowed his brow, probably having a similar internal debate to the one Grace was having. Were this a regular situation they would almost have an obligation to help this child, to do something. The longer this went on though the more Grace was sure it was every person for themselves. Could they really afford to stop and help every person who needed it? Still she felt the familiar pang in her gut. Shane seemed to have be feeling the same thing. “How far are you?”

 

“Ten minute drive. Not too far. We can make a trade of some sort.” That perked everyone up.

 

Though she felt guilty saying it, knowing it could be made worth their while, Grace nodded. “I’d like to go if that would be possible.”

 

“Good girl.” Merle nodded eagerly. He seemed to be far too excited about this for Grace’s comfort. Still the little girl.

 

“What’s going on?” Lori called. Grace noticed that she had left Carl inside. Her and the three other adults stood at the entrance to the pawn shop.

 

“Going to head over to where these people are located.” Shane called back. “They’ve got a sick little girl.”

 

Lori had made a move to protest but the second she heard about the sick little girl she stopped and nodded. “Not too long though?”

 

“No it shouldn’t take long.” Shane turned back to the strange men. “We want to hit Atlanta well before dark.”

 

“No, no. Just quickly. The hospital is shut down, the clinic is full of those things. There’s nowhere to take her.” Ken spoke up. “We ain’t in the business of puttin’ nobody out.”

 

Quickly they piled back into the vehicles. Shane did take the guns from the store and Daryl stuck the crossbow and bolts at the floor by Grace’s feet. The drive to Rooster’s land was quick, they took the main road most of the way and then it was just a short drive to the cluster of homes that made up the Brewster Compound.

 

In the yard through a heavy chain link fence there were children playing and plenty of teens and adults working on gardens or on other tasks around the yard. A long series of clothes lines and wash basins took up one corner of the yard, the other side a huge garden. All around trailers, shacks and out buildings made a small little town. Grace had seen it before several times at a distance but never up close. Though before it seemed dangerous and more than a little strange to keep themselves so closed off from the world, now the fenced in property seemed like the best idea in the world.

 

As they drove up to the main gate, several men ran up to unlock the entrance and wheel the gate back so they could enter. The women and teens herded the children out of the way and the vehicles pulled in. The trucks drove straight for a large metal building, similar to an airplane hanger, with wide doors that seemed to be serving as a garage as it had a variety of ATVs and bikes in it. Merle parked his bike close to what Grace assumed must be the original trailer by the number of additions that had been slapped together on it and its central location. The yard was like a tree stump, newer the further away from the centre you were. Daryl’s truck, the SUV and the RV stayed closer to the outside of the yard. Though everyone quickly resumed their tasks as the group piled out of their respective vehicles and gathered together, the Brewster family still stared openly gawking at the outsiders.

 

“It’s like one of those polygamy compounds.” Amy whispered to her sister.

 

“Just one wife though.” Grace whispered back. The blonde girl blush at having been caught making rude comments. “It freaks me out too.” She reassured and it did. So many grubby little children and all the women with their haunted eyes. Grace shivered and Daryl brush his fingers against her arm.

 

“Where’s this kid at?” He called toward the men who were now wandering over from the garage.

 

“We’ve got her stayin’ in the main house.” One of the younger boys said. “I’ll take you to her.”

 

“Rest of you can stay out here. Martha!” Junior yelled and his wife stuck her head up from where she had been folding laundry. “There you are, woman. See about gettin’ something together for these people to eat. That girl’s a doctor and she’s gonna take a look at Ems.”

 

Merle had wandered off already with some of the men he considered friends with but no one else seemed to want to separate from the group. Grace turned to Daryl before moving to follow the boy who had addressed her. He nodded and she knew he would stick by her. Some of her anxiety vanished but most of it stayed balled in her stomach. The boy gestured almost impatiently and Grace took a step forward. Taking this as a sign she was going to follow him, the boy walked toward the main building. Grace hurried to catch up with him, Daryl close behind her.

 

The building had a porch and Rooster was sitting in a rocking chair, smoking and surveying his people. Daryl grunted a greeting and the three went into the house with no trouble. They were led to a small bedroom that contained only a dresser, an arm chair and a bed. The arm chair seemed to have been pulled in from somewhere else because it was tucked into the corner but barely fit. The little girl had dark brown hair and was very pale. It was odd to see because all the other children were well tanned and dirty from playing outside. She clearly was being well cared for because she had been recently bathed. A woman sat on the edge of her bed and was holding a wash cloth the girl’s face, trying to bring the fever down probably.

 

“Ma?” The boy knocked on the door frame and the woman turned quickly.

 

“Thank the Lord.” She murmured. “Are you alright, Bobby? Is anyone else hurt?”

 

Bobby shook his head. “No we’re all fine, Ma.”

 

“Did they find Lucas?”

 

“No we got a doctor though. She’s gonna take a look at Ems.” The three of them squeezed into the room and Daryl immediately flopped into the chair.

 

“I’m Grace.” Grace said slowly, putting on her most soothing voice. “I’m not a doctor, I’m a nurse but I’d like to take a look at her if you’ll let me.”

 

“Wendy.” The lady offered. “I think I’ve seen you.”

 

Grace considered her for a moment. It was possible she had been one of the women to come in to the clinic. “I work at the clinic on Main sometimes.”

 

Wendy nodded with recognition. “Yes, of course. You’re always so sweet with the little ones. You’ll take a look at my Emma? We just can’t seem to bring the fever down.”

 

Grace looked at the little girl, sweat beaded on her forehead but she shivered under the heavy blankets. She was clearly very sick and Grace wasn’t exactly sure how much she could do to help. “How long has she been like this?”

 

The woman moved aside so Grace could get closer to the bed. She pulled back the covers down to the end of the bed so she could see what she was working with. The girl moaned, whimpering in her sleep. Along her arm and angry red slash stood out against her grey skin. Grace checked her over quickly, manually taking Emma’s racing pulse and then checking her swollen glands. “About three days. She’s been sleepin’ mostly today. Yesterday she was awake more. When she does open her eyes she talks nonsense.”

 

“Was this cleaned?” She pointed to the cut. She ached for her clean clinic room with proper equipment and the protection of gloves.

 

Emma’s mom nodded, “When we brought her in here we gave her a bath in the big tub to try and cool her off. Didn’t do much though, second she was out of the tub it was back to the sweats and shakin’.”

 

“Are there any antibiotics you can get? She probably has an infection.” Grace turned the girl’s arm over once again, careful not to touch anywhere open. “You need to clean this out with rubbing alcohol, or salt water if you don’t have that, and get some antibiotics into her. When she wakes up is she in a lot of pain?’ Wendy nodded. “Then give her something for that as well. She doesn’t look too big and we don’t want to overpower her system so just the minimum to keep her comfortable. Try to get her to eat and make sure she stays hydrated.”

 

“She throws everythin’ back up.”

 

Grace sighed. “The best you can do is keep trying. If she feels up to it, try the bath again when she’s had some pain killers and it won’t cause her so much pain to move. I really can’t do anything else for her though.” She felt even worse now, knowing there was really nothing more she could do. At least she had tried though. She spent a few more minutes talking with Wendy about Emma before two teenage girls came to the door.

 

“We’ve got food out here if you’s guys want some.” The older one said, “Aunt Wendy, Ma says you need to eat somethin’ too. I’ll sit with Em for a while I’m gonna wake her up and try to give her some broth. Claire can help me.” She nodded to the younger girl beside her.

 

Wendy looked at Grace as if she wanted to be told not to leave her little girl or that the broth was a bad idea but Grace didn’t feel that way. “I think that would be best actually.” She said, still using her best bedside manner voice. The other woman sniffed a few times but nodded in agreement. Grace switched places with the teenager and they went back outside.

 

Carl had made friends with several of the boys and it seemed that he had scarfed down his sandwich and soup to play with them because the spot on Lori’s right was free. The adults sat around the long table in the yard. It reminded Grace of the one at the cabin but the chairs seemed to be newer and hand crafted. Daryl took the spot on Grace’s other side and they were served quickly by several bustling teenage girls, including the second one to come to the door who introduced herself as Claire. They ate sandwiches on homemade bread and fresh soup.

 

It was heaven. In the past week she’d eaten almost nothing but canned food. The soup was made with fresh vegetables and judging by the coop she had passed by the chicken was probably fresh as well. Even before cooking hadn’t been high on her priority list. You just didn’t get the time between working a day job and a night job. The closest she had gotten to a home cooked meal was the stews they made but everything in that but the meat was canned. She hadn’t had fresh bread in years.

 

Andrea was half-admiring the set-up but also seemed reluctant to accept it. “This is wild.” She kept saying again and again. “How do they live like this? It’s just wild.”

 

Grace shrugged. All things given it actually seemed like this was a much better set-up than going from civilization to nothing. These people knew what they were doing and they did it well. “They’re surviving. Give people a few years of no electricity and having to fend for themselves and we all be like this.”

 

“God, I hope not.” Andrea said a little too loudly and then blushed when she realized the women gardening a short distance away were staring at her.

 

Grace laughed. “Lord’s name.” She whispered and Andrea choked out an apology while Amy giggled at her sister. Even Daryl snorted lightly. Grace looked at him and smiled, so far since sitting down to eat he hadn’t made a sound. She knew he still wasn’t comfortable with these people but at least he had joined her instead of running off to hide with his food. He shifted awkwardly as if he had been caught doing something wrong and would be scolded for it. Grace slid her hand under the table and patted his thigh, turning back to Andrea and resuming their conversation.

 

Merle still hadn’t appeared half an hour later as they were all finishing up their meal. The dirty plates were whisked away quickly by a team of youngsters who all clamoured around a similar set up to the one they had set-up back in camp, though there was the difference of a proper table and plastic wash bins to hold the dishes. These people were organized she had to give them that. The number of children was downright astonishing though. She was sure there were dozens of children running around though most would stop their games promptly when told by an adult and rush off to perform a variety of tasks.

 

Amy was the first to point out the number of mothers in the group. “Doesn’t she seem a little bit young?” She bumped her sister in the side being very careful to whisper so as not to end up in the same situation as Andrea had. The girl she was talking about was heavily pregnant.

 

The other blonde frowned. “How old do you think she is?”

 

“Sixteen, seventeen tops.”

 

It was hard to tell, other than the pregnant girl, who was actually a mother and who was helping out. The girls all seemed to be in charge of looking after the children in one way or another. Under her hand Grace felt Daryl flinch. Teen pregnancy was a bit of a sore subject for him. It was the reason there was an almost nine year age gap between him and Merle.

 

His mother had been seventeen when she had Merle and after that she got much smarter about birth control. That was until she got stupid. Daryl knew he had been a mistake, had always known from the few times he got drunk enough to rant about it, which was rare and usually came right after the “I ain’t never doin’ nothing for my bastard brother again” speech. He had trapped their mother further in an abusive relationship because it’s difficult enough to run with one child but it’s even worse to try and run with two. Growing-up he had apparently been reminded of that quite often and when their mother had died under curious circumstances when Daryl was seven he carried the blame.

 

“Gonn’ find Merle.” Daryl stood swiftly and pushed his chair from the table.

 

Shane turned to join in on their conversation and ignoring Daryl’s departure. “How old do you think that one is?” He vaguely gestured to where a girl was trying to quiet a crying baby.

 

Grace leaned over and swatted him, realizing immediately what was going to happen when she saw the girl pull a blanket over her chest and the crying infant.

 

“And what’s up with blanket.”

 

“She’s feeding him.” Lori gave Shane a pointed look and the dark haired man had to good sense to blush at least. He turned away quickly. All the women laughed at his discomfort.

 

Carl had been playing with some of the boys but Lori called him over. “We’re going to get going soon. Finish up and say goodbye to the boys.”

 

“Aw Mom!” he whined. Grace understood where the boy was coming from. This was the first time he had been able to play with kids his own age.

 

“Ten minutes.” Lori gave in. None of them knew how long it would be until they were in a safe space like this again. Grace could tell that she hated to tear her son away from happiness, still they did have to leave eventually.

 

“I’ll go get Daryl. The sooner we get out of here the better and I’m hoping he’s rounded up Merle so we can leave.”

 

She found him sitting alone on the porch steps to the main house. He seemed to have been waiting for her to finish up with socializing and he looked like he was itching to leave. “You ready to head out?”

 

“I don’t think I can take any more of them.” She whispered, not wanting to be overheard. She may have jumped at Andrea for judging them but she was starting to see the other woman’s point. “They’re nice people but it’s like a cult in here.”

 

“Least they don’t beat the kids.” He shrugged. “Go get the rest of ‘em and we’ll get the hell out of here.”

 

It was getting close to three o’clock when they finally pulled out of the yard. The Brewster men shot a few infected through the fence and the women offered some fresh food, which was organized in the RV before heading out. In exchange for their help, Junior showed them a fuel tank that they kept on the property and all the vehicles got their tanks filled.

 

 Dale took the lead as he had Andrea to co-pilot for him where they were driving. The SUV drove between Merle and the RV; Grace and Daryl took the last spot in the line of vehicles this time. At the fence the children ran along with the cars until they came to the edge and stood waving. Carl turned around in the SUV and frantically waved back at his friends until Lori pulled him back down.

 

The drive to Atlanta should have taken them only another hour but they ran into two roadblocks that they had to manoeuvre around.  Travel speed slowed considerably; the closer they got the more complicated it was to move around. After pulling over in an abandoned gas station parking lot they spread the maps out one last time and finally discovered a back road that they hoped would bring them into the city. The road ran through thick forest but was thankfully paved. It seemed busier than it should have though. It had already been a good four hours since they left the Brewster Compound and the road was congested with traffic.

 

The cars slowed to a crawl and then finally stopped all together. Daryl slammed his hands into the steering wheel and swore. “The fuck did all these people come from.”

 

“Probably doing the same thing as us.” Grace stared out across the traffic she shivered lightly. It was getting cooler out as the day drew to a close. The sun hadn’t set yet but it was starting to drop behind the trees, which cast long shadows and she hadn’t thought to pack a sweater or something up front. Then again they hadn’t realized just how long their trip would take. Sweat all day and freeze all night.

 

Daryl put the truck into park and turned it off. “No use wastin’ fuel idlin’.” He growled. Grace had to agree. It had been a stroke of luck that they managed to get enough fuel from the Brewsters to fill the tanks but there didn’t seem to be any gas stations around that were pumping still, especially on deserted back roads like this. Once they got to Atlanta they could find a gas station and refill. They had seen the city through breaks in the trees earlier and it still seemed to be reasonably intact or at least less devastated than the small towns they had quickly driven through. Ahead of them in the long line of vehicles other people were doing the same thing. They sat in the traffic is silence for almost half an hour before Shane hopped out of the SUV and walked over to the RV to talk to Dale through the open window. Merle parked his bike beside the truck and Daryl, rolled down the window with the crank handle.

 

“So where’s yer big plan now, girly?” The older man sneered. Grace rolled her eyes. She turned away from them and popped the door on her side.

 

“Where you goin’?” Daryl demanded immediately.

 

“Relax.” She snapped, just as frustrated as everyone else with the situation. “I’m just going to see what they’re talking about.” She felt immediately bad for the tone she was using when Daryl flinched. “Gonna grab a sweater from the back.”

 

Trying to brush it off he reached down for his pack of smokes and flicked open the top, shaking the last one onto his palm he asked, “Mind grabbin’ me a new pack outta my boots when yer back there?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” She sighed, closing the door and walking around the truck cab. Grace lifted the glass window at the top and dropped the tailgate loudly. Then she screamed.


	9. Chapter Eight

Daryl had rocketed out of the truck and around back before Grace had properly processed what was going on. “What the hell are you screamin’ for?” He shouted, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away from the tailgate.

“There’s someone in the back of your truck.”

He spun back around to the truck. The girl was hiding herself pretty well under the pile of bedding that they had stripped off their bed. Grace immediately felt embarrassed because they sure as shit hadn’t thought to wash the sheets. It wasn’t as if anyone was supposed to hide underneath them.

By this time Merle had gotten off his bike and come around to join them. “Tha’ fuck is that? There’s someone in there.”

“We can see that, Merle.”

“What was all that shouting?” Shane had his gun out and was wildly looking around.

Grace waved him away. “I think we’re all right but we’ve got a stowaway.”

The officer dropped his gun slowly. “Is she safe?”

“We’ll have to get her out to see but I don’t think someone infected could have gotten into the back of the truck without us seeing.”

“Somehow that girl did. Is she one of the girls from that place?”

Grace nodded, she recognized the girl now. Claire, the sweet little brunette with braids and freckles. “Claire.” She told Shane, “She’s definitely one of the girls from there.” Grace turned to the girl. “Claire, sweetheart, why don’t you come out and tell us what you’re doing in the back of the truck.”

Inside the girl shook her head and buried herself deeper into the fabric.

“We’re talking to you, girly.” Merle shouted and the girl jumped. “Get your ass out here ‘fore I beat it.”

That sent Claire scrambling. Grace felt bad about it but the girl was clearly used to being shouted at and it did get the job done. She sat on the tailgate trembling and surrounded by strangers as they questioned her as to how she had ended up in the back of Daryl’s truck and what she expected them to do now that they had found her.

“I just climbed in when no one was lookin’.” She murmured, her eyes down and one hand pulling on a braid. “Couldn’t stand ‘em no more and I figured it was the only way out. You said you were goin’ to the city. I was hopin’ to get away before anyone noticed me.”

“Do you realize how stupid that was?” Grace shook her head slowly. “You’re lucky someone didn’t shoot you thinking you were one of those things.”

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

“Yeah, well you did.” Daryl grunted. “The fuck we supposed to do with you now?”

“I say let her wander off.” Merle was leaning against the side of the truck. So far he hadn’t made any useful contributions other than getting the girl out of the truck. He just stood and glared at them, occasionally making snorting sounds.

“She’s a little girl.”

“She was old enough to make the choice to get in the truck. She can survive on her own well enough.”

“She’s a little girl.” Shane repeated Grace’s earlier statement. “We can’t just leave her on her own. She’s our responsibility now.”

“She ain’t my kid. She sure as hell ain’t my problem. Damn it, Daryl. Told you takin’ in strays was a bad idea. Now we got some little bitch they expectin’ us to look after. No way in hell. This whole plan is fuckin’ stupid.”

“No one wanted you to come along with us, you redneck shit.” Shane snarled. “You made your choice coming with us so now you’ve got to play by our rules.”

Claire was crying now and Grace felt compelled to comfort her in some way. Awkwardly she put an arm around the girl, only to have her collapse against her, sobs shaking her slender body. Great now she had the girl crying on her. “I’m going to bring her to the RV. She doesn’t need to hear us talking about her like this.”

“Probably a good idea.” Shane ran his fingers through his hair, clearly distressed at what was going on. He cast a frustrated look at the piled up traffic. “Send Dale back here while you’re going over there.”

Grace slid off the tailgate, giving Daryl a tight smile as she helped the girl down and walked past him. Claire was still crying but not as hard now. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“It’s alright,” Grace reassured sighing. It wasn’t. This girl might not be their responsibility but she sure as hell was in their care now. She was young and, if her actions were anything to go on, a little bit stupid and more than a little naive. They really didn’t need a tag-along. Grace lead the girl away from the fighting, hoping that with distance she could calm down and they could talk about what was happening.

“Everything alright over there?” Dale questioned.

“Fine for now. Mind going over to help them figure out our situation?” The old man nodded and walked off to join the other men. The three women were all peering out of the window of the RV as Grace and Claire got closer but when Grace made eye contact they all jumped and hurried to look busy. The girl was shy, hanging back and resisting entering the camper. With a little more coaxing, Grace finally convinced her it would be perfectly alright and they went inside.

“Hey Grace,” Carl sat at the table reading a book. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to the pages though. “Was that you screaming?”

“I’m fine Carl. Claire here just gave me a scare is all.”

The little boy considered the teenager carefully for a moment before asking, “Is she one of the girls from that farm place we visited?”

Lori looked between Claire and her son apologetically. The teenager stared back before answering, “Yes.”

“Are you gonna stay with us a while?”

That was a difficult question and one that no one had an answer to as just this moment. Honestly, it wasn’t as though they could bring her back and while Merle did have a point about her not being their problem but he also didn’t have a conscience and therefore made for a very poor advice provider. “For now.”

The boy considered the vague answer for a moment before accepting it and with a simple, “okay,” and going back to his book. All the adults seemed relieved. Lori was the first to speak, “Claire is it?” The girl nodded. “Alright Claire, it looks like you’ll be here for a while. Is there anything we can do for you right now?”

“The washroom, please?” The girl answered after a brief pause and Lori grinned.

“That’s easy. It’s right in there.” She pointed to the RV’s washroom. Claire mumbled a thank-you and let herself into the tiny room. Outside they could hear the men arguing.

“What’s going on?” Lori whispers at Grace who’s still looking at where Claire had disappeared.

Grace gestures for them to go outside. “Don’t want her to hear.” She lowers her voice to match the other woman’s. They step out of the RV together, leaving Amy and Andrea inside to watch Carl and the new girl.

“So what happened?”

“She ran away from home. Snuck into the back of Daryl’s truck and I guess she’s been hiding there this whole time.”

“God, she can’t be older than 15. What are we supposed to do with her?” The dark-haired woman casts a nervous glance back inside as they pull the door closed.

“We can’t abandon her. We’ll turn her over to the authorities when we get to Atlanta, I guess.” Grace shrugs. “What else can we do really?”

“I guess we can put another mattress between Andrea and Amy’s beds for one night.”

“No,” Grace protested, “let’s not make plans. We might still make it to Atlanta tonight. We don’t exactly what’s going on here. Could be temporary.”

“It’ll be dark soon.” The long shadows cast by the sun falling behind the trees were testament to that. “I don’t really want to be on the road after dark.”

“We’re sort of stuck on the road.”

“Excuse me.” The two women turned toward their interrupter. A slender woman with short cropped grey hair held the hand of a blonde girl about Carl’s age. The two stood just a short way away at what was probably their own car. “We heard the screaming. We’re a few cars up. Is everyone alright?”

“Oh sorry.” Grace blushed. Yeah, everyone had heard her freaking out at some girl in the back of Daryl’s truck that was really no threat. “That was me. I just got startled, is all. We’re fine, thank-you.”

“Alright we’re just checking.” She looked at the RV almost with a jealously. “You’ve got quite the group with you.” The woman seemed lonely. The little girl hung back a little bit. She reminded Grace of the shy girl inside but a few years younger.

Lori was laughing quietly, the men were still arguing together in the background. Merle swore loudly and slammed something down. The other woman jumped, she looked concerned when Shane pushed closer to the other man, shouting just as loudly. “We’ve all sort of found each other.”

Grace watched as Daryl threw himself at Shane, shoving the other man away from his brother. Dale stood off to one side, both hands raised in an attempt to restore peace. “They’re fine, really.” Grace reassured their concerned guest. “We’ve just got a bit of a strange situation and they’re, er, working it out. I’m Grace, by the way.”

“Carol and this is my daughter Sophia.”

“Lori.” She introduced herself. “My son Carl is about your age Sophia. Maybe you two could play together while we’re here.”

Sophia nodded shyly, smiling for the first time. “Does he like playing checkers? I brought my set with me.”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t we ask him?” Lori opened the door to the RV and called inside. “Hey Carl, come on out for a minute.”

Carl hurried to the door, curious about what his mother wanted. “What’s up, Mom?” He asked then saw their guests. His little face lit up at the sight of someone his own age. He missed Rooster’s grandchildren and great grandchildren. His afternoon with them had reminded him how much he missed having other children to play with. “Hello!” He called out excitedly.

“Carl, this is Sophia. She wants to know if you’d like to play checkers.”

“Yeah!” He jumped out of the RV. The two children looked eagerly at their parents.

“Just let me let Shane know where we’re going.” Lori told her son. The arguing had settled back down to a dull roar. Daryl had slammed himself back into the truck and Merle lit a cigarette. Dale seemed to be putting most of his effort into calming down Shane now. “Shane,” Lori addressed him, “Carl and I are going a few cars down.”

He stopped completely and turned away from Dale. “What?”

“We’ll just be gone a little while.”

“Not alone you aren’t.” He stormed over to her. “If you’re going somewhere I’m coming too.” The two left with Carl, Carol and Sophia.

Dale seemed at a loss but at least relieved that everyone seemed to be settling down. Amy stuck her head out the door of the RV and called him over, asking where something had been put that apparently Andrea couldn’t find. The old man sighed and left to go find whatever it was the sisters were looking for. The moment he was gone Merle lifted the compartment on the back of his bike and pulled out his ziplock bag. Cigarette held tight between his teeth he rummaged around in the bag before pulling out a square of tinfoil. “If we’re all heading out on a fieldtrip then Imma just take myself outta the picture for a few hours.”

“We aren’t staying here.” Grace protested, “In fact we really don’t know what’s going on here at all. Now might not be a good time…”

“Fuck off, Carter.” Merle sneered. “If I wanted a mommy, then I’d make someone one.”

Grace glared at him. “We can leave you behind if we need to.”

“No you can’t.” He cackled. “Daryl wouldn’t let cha! Anyway, them cars don’t seem to be goin’ nowhere fast. We’ll be stuck here ‘til mornin’, pro’lly longer.” Merle winked and swaggered off into the trees on the side of the road.

“Daryl!” Grace called, rushing to the side of the truck. “What the hell has he gotten now?”

Daryl was sitting in the truck and brooding, chain smoking from the pack he’d obviously gotten himself from the back to try and sooth his nerves. He didn’t seem impressed to see Grace shouting at him. “Who’s got what, Carter?”

“What’s Merle taking now?”

“What’s he takin’?” Daryl seemed confused.

Grace stomped her foot. “Don’t play stupid with me. Merle just took off to go get high. I saw his stash when I bribed him to come out here with us. He was running low on damn near everything. He’s got something new. What’s he taking?”

Daryl sighed as if he had been expecting this. “He’s got ice.”

“The hell did he get methamphetamine from? We’ve barely seen anyone in the past week.”

“Well it weren’t Officer Friendly, that’s for sure.” He rubbed his face, exhausted and frustrated. “Junior and Kenny make it. Why do you think he was so fuckin’ happy to see them?”

“And you still thought it was a good idea to go there? What were you thinking, Daryl?”

“Maybe I was thinkin’ that I didn’t want all of these people knowin’ my family’s fuckin’ business! Already hate us as it is. Don’t need none of them thinkin’ shit ‘bout us.”

“And they won’t think about it now, when he comes in at two in the morning, wakes everyone up by hollering and freaking out and then passes out for twelve hours?”

“It’s none of yer business what Merle does.”

“Of course it’s my business! He’s just as much my family as he is yours. That’s what this thing between us has made him. I care what happens to that prick because it affects you and that affects me. Anything that happens to you is my business.”

Daryl reeled backward as if she had slapped him. “You don’t mean that.” He muttered, giving her his back.

She reached down and popped the handle of the door, tugging it open with more force than was needed. “Don’t pull this crap, Daryl.” She reached out a gentle hand to him, resting it on his shoulder. Reluctantly he turned, and she ran her fingers up his neck cupping his cheek. Instinctively he pushed his face against her palm. “Look at me.” He brought his eyes up to meet hers and she smiled, leaning close and ghosting her lips across his. She pulled back, “You’re my business.”

His cheeks went pink but the corner of his mouth turned up.

“Now come on over to the RV while we try and wait this out. We’ll deal with Asshole when he comes back. You can play nice for until then and hopefully it’ll soften the blow.”

“Don’t wanna play nice.”

Grace smacked his arm lightly and he winced. “You can and you will. As it is you haven’t made a very good impression and we need more friends than enemies right now.”

“Could just go on without ‘em.”

“Are we leaving Merle behind too?” She questioned. Daryl responded with silence. “We’ve all gotta stick together. There isn’t much room for being an island anymore. Come on, you can go show Claire you aren’t really that scary.”

“What if I want her to think I am? Would keep her outta my truck in the future.” Daryl growled but he was teasing now. Once more he was distracting her with humour.

Grace rolled her eyes. “She didn’t do any harm, other than scaring me and you know it. She just wanted to get away from that place.”

“Yeah well, she’s was in my truck. No one goes in my truck.”

“I go in your truck.”

“Yeah,” Daryl smirked, “I get to _go_ inside you, so you earned that.”

If looks could kill, Daryl Dixon would be dead from a bolt through the heart by that pretty new crossbow of his. “Kiss my ass.”

“Gladly.”

Walking off toward the RV, Grace ignored his cocky grin. “Are you coming or not?”

Two hours later they still hadn’t moved. Night had set and the atmosphere outside the RV had shifted. People were anxious about not be able to continue and fights broke out among the cars. They tried vainly to get stations on the radio but no matter how hard they tried there was nothing but static. The instructions that they had received for days about going to Atlanta and the refugee centre had vanished. Over and over they turned the dials slowly hoping to catch the slightest bit of sound other than white noise but they got nothing.

No one had seen Merle since he disappeared into the wilderness. Part of Grace hoped he was dead but another part remembered the flash of concern she had seen in his eyes when he found her close to that walker. Somewhere underneath it all, and it was somewhere very well hidden by an ocean of bullshit, Merle was just another human being and no one really deserved dying.

Getting accidently hurt a little, that wasn’t so bad though. Maybe more than a little.

Grace winced and rubbed her stomach. Speaking of hurting, it had been bothering her all day. On and off she’d been queasy but she hadn’t actually thrown-up. Andrea caught her look of discomfort.

“You alright?” The blonde questioned.

“Yeah,” Grace exhaled. “No big deal, just an upset stomach I think. I’ve been feeling off since this morning.”

“I’ve got some Pepto around here somewhere.” Andrea offered getting up from the table.

“That would be amazing.”

“Peppermint tea.” Claire added quietly.

“What’s that, hon?”

“Mum used to always give us peppermint tea when we had an upset stomach.”

Grace nodded, “Oh me too. My mom was big on that when I was sick. If I stayed home from school and could keep liquids down I would end up drinking gallons of the stuff.”

“Here.” Andrea tossed her the pink bottle.

Grace flipped it over and read the instructions quickly. “Mind grabbing me a spoon?” Andrea leaned over and opened one of the drawers to pass her one. Grace carefully poured out half of an adult dosage, chasing it with bottled water. “Hopefully that helps. I should probably go to bed soon. I’ll feel better in the morning.” She took another swig of water and swished it around, clearing her mouth of the taste as best she could.

A shout of excitement outside had them all turning to the door. Daryl had opted for staying outside, and shooting a target that he had made out of one of the cardboard boxes and pinned to a tree. Inside and talking just wasn’t his thing.

“How long is he going to do that?” Dale wondered out loud from the driver’s seat where he had the map book out again and was squinting at it in the glow of a flashlight.

“Probably until I tell him we’re going to bed.” Grace shrugged. She wasn’t as concerned as the others seemed to be about Daryl outside alone at night. There were so many people around it wasn’t as if anything could sneak up on them. He’d always hunted and played with his toys. Him and Merle regularly would spend hours shooting empty beer cans and bottles that they saved for just such an occasion. It was a free and reasonably safe pastime. Anyway he was just trying out the crossbow and getting a feel for it. It would be work well as a great silent weapon if he didn’t tend to whoop and holler when he got a bull’s-eye. “Actually I’m going to go out and watch for a bit. He’ll probably settle a little if he gets an audience. Anyone else want to come with?”

“I’m out.” Andrea shook her head. “Don’t really want to lose an eye tonight.”

“Me neither.” Her sister agreed.

Claire just yawned. The girl was wilting before their eyes. They should all go to bed soon. No one had heard anything about them moving and if they wanted to find a way to drive around this in the morning they would have to get some rest. Plus there was no telling when Merle would stumble back into camp and in what mood he would be in when he returned.

Grace let herself out of the RV and whispered a hey to Daryl so he wouldn’t get startled. She had to laugh when he turned to face her. His grin was blinding. “Watch this!” He reloaded the crossbow and fired it toward the now tattered target, nailing in right in what was probably once the centre. “Aw yeah! Thought I was gonna need more practice but turns out I’m better than I remember.”

“You’ve always been a good shot, Daryl.” She encouraged.

He nodded, dropping the crossbow to his side and tilting his head to look at her. “Wassa matter with you?”

“Nothing.” She said too quickly. “I’m fine.”

“No you ain’t.”

Sighing she leaned against the side of the RV. Of course he would be able to tell she wasn’t right. He knew her better than anyone and he’d been the one to hold her hair back for the past few days. “Just my stomach.”

“You gonna chuck again?” He took a quick step back.

The action made her laugh and she couldn’t help but feel a little better. “Not right now. I just need some fresh air, I think. Andrea gave me some Pepto so hopefully that settles everything before bed.”

Daryl scratched at his neck, rubbing a hand over his chin thoughtfully. “Wanna go for a walk? Might do you good to stretch yer legs a little bit.”

“It couldn’t hurt.” She agreed, pushing herself off the RV. “We can walk down to see where Lori, Shane and Carl went. Carol seemed really nice.”

“Just what we need. More people to look after.” He grumbled but they started walking in that direction anyway. Shane had come back briefly to tell them that they were about six cars further down the line and that they would be back before it got too late. He wanted to give Carl a chance to enjoy playing. He was feeling just as guilty for taking him away from those kids as he was for leaving Carl’s dad behind. Grace could tell he was devoted to both the boy and his mother and would go to any length to keep them both safe.

A rumble overhead had everyone looking up startled. Shouts from all around them rang through the night. A helicopter flew low over the cars and zoomed toward the city. Grace found herself pressing close to Daryl, startled by the sudden appearance of military aircraft so close over head. Daryl threw an arm around her as if he could protect her from whatever was happening. The deafening sound of a second and third chopper echoed over the trees. They ran, feet pounding against the asphalt, switching quickly to the hard packed dirt of the forest floor, following the aircraft as best they could. They broke through the trees to stare out over the darkened city. Flying in formation, another group shot across the sky.

Suddenly the world was lit up, fire pouring from the bellies of the helicopters or at least that’s how it seemed to Grace.

“The FUCK?” Daryl shouted. All around them people were screaming and crying out.

“What are they doing?” Grace whimpered, unable to stop her voice from cracking.

The bombing of the city continued as the crowd of survivors gathered and watched in horror. The city was no longer dark. The streets were filled with bright flames and the cloudy sky reflected the light of the fire. The night was orange and red and yellow. The smell of metal and plastic and burning rolled on blacked clouds as terrifying a smell as the scene before them. Grace coughed, the smell was like acid.

A ways down she saw Shane gather a sobbing Lori into his arms as he stared slack jawed at the terror before them. More people poured through the trees from the road, gathering together in shared witness of the fall of Atlanta.

“They’re bombing.” She whispered, shrinking once more against Daryl.

“The hell’d they go do that for?” He asked no one in particular.

“MOM!” Carl’s voice cut through the night, a single familiar shout through a haze of strange sounds. Lori turned to her son and caught him between her and Shane. They were both crying as they hid their faces away from the flames.

Grace’s stomach rolled with a sick and sudden feeling of relief. She was suddenly glad that they had found themselves stuck on the side of the road rather than been able to travel into Atlanta. Had they not been stopped by roadblocks and now in traffic, they would have been long settled in the city. It could easily have been them down there in the flames, burning to a crisp.

“Come on.” Daryl held her tighter, drawing her back toward the trees and the road, pulling her away from the helicopters bombing the city they had thought would be their salvation. Even as they got back to the main road, she could still hear the rumble of more bombs being dropped as people around them panicked.

“ _Damn, Carter. You miss me already? It’s only been three hours.” Daryl balances the phone between his shoulder and ear as he flips the grilled cheese so it doesn’t burn. He hadn’t bothered to say hello when he answered the phone. After Merle’s buddies kept calling the house looking for him, Daryl decided it was worth the extra fourteen bucks a month to get caller ID._

_Oh the other end of the phone Grace is quiet. When she doesn’t promptly respond to his quip, he freezes. “Carter? You there?”_

“ _Uh-huh.” She mumbles into the receiver, voice quivering to even get out those few syllables._

“ _Wassa matter?” He askes, genuine concern slipping through for just a second._

“ _Nothing.”_

_She’s crying, he can tell from the way she’s breathing. Little snivelling puffs of air against the mouthpiece._

“ _Yer lyin’.” He grunts frustrated and unsure of what to do. “Can’t miss me that much.” Daryl tries feebly. There’s quiet on the other end. “Look you called me for some reason. How’s about you start by tellin’ me…”_

“ _It’s Eric.”_

“ _What’d_ The Little Shit _do now?” It’s his private nickname for him. Then again it’s not so private as he’s always made a point to call him that loudly and often._

_Grace lets out a choked sob. “I went to see him when I got back to Rez. I know where the spare key is for his place so I just let myself in. Thought I’d surprise him that I came back early. He made such a fuss about being stuck in Atlanta away from all his family because he still had midterms.”_

“ _He weren’t there?”_

“ _He was.” She went quiet again. This time he let her breath a couple of times. He flipped the bread end over end to check the second side. Perfection. Using the spatula he lifted the sandwich out of the pan, dropped it onto the waiting plate and bisected it with the utensil. Grace takes a deep shuddering breath. “He was in bed… with a girl.”_

“ _Where are you?”_

“ _I came back to the dorms. I didn’t know what else to do. He was screaming and he said it was my fault. How could it be_ MY _fault? I didn’t tell him to fuck her!”_

“ _Don’t move. I’ll be there in an hour and,” Daryl looks down at his sandwich. “Twenty minutes.”_

SLAM.

“Uhngh, fuckin’ hell, Merle.” Daryl mumbles against Grace’s neck. They had crawled into bed shortly after going back to the camper. Lori, Carl and Shane are all sleeping in the SUV. Andrea and Amy have their beds in the back of the RV with Claire sleeping on the floor between them. Dale is sleeping on the bed made from the folded down table. Grace and Daryl had crawled into the back of his truck, pulling the doors closed at the back and locking them from the inside.

Merle is fumbling around inside the cab of the truck. She hopes to god that its him going to sleep because he just slammed the door hard enough to wake damn near everyone around them. They had left the door unlocked for him in the hopes that when he stumbled his way back he could pass out in there and leave them to fucking sleep. Apparently that was too much to ask.

“Go back to sleep.” Grace moves against Daryl, resettling herself against him. The temperature drops so much that she’s pathetically grateful for his body heat. He sighs, his breathing a steady rhythm on her neck; the comforting weight of his leg over hers and his arm around her waist. She drifts back into a fitful sleep.

“ _Look kid, I’ll give you $50 if you let me into the building.”_

_The kid in front of Daryl is scrawny with thick framed glasses and a stupid haircut to go with his even stupider expression. “We’re not supposed to let people in if we don’t know them.” The kid’s said it eight or nine times already but that doesn’t change that Daryl still needs to get into the building. Fuck, Dixon, you can do this. Lie. Just fuckin’ lie._

“ _Look I’m tryin’ ta surprise my girlfriend.” Where the hell did that come from? Apparently the kid is thinking the same thing because he gives Daryl a sceptical look._

“ _How old are you?”_

“ _Forty-nine.” Daryl snarls. “Look are you gonna let me in or not?”_

“ _You don’t look like you’re forty-nine. I don’t think I’m supposed to let you in even if your ‘_ girlfriend’ _does live here.”_

_Daryl slaps his hand to his face. Could this kid be more of a retard? “I’m old enough to kick your ass, alright. What’re you like nineteen? I’ll buy you booze. However much you want. Just let me the fuck in.” Daryl doesn’t think it’s going to work but the door clicks open suddenly and before the shithead changes his mind, Daryl pushes himself inside. He had tried calling Grace back twice already but she’s not answering her phone and he’s starting to panic. He’s not exactly sure where her apartment is but he knows which room she’s in from how many times she’s joked that she lucked out with getting a room that’s the same three digits as their area code. Skipping the elevator, he takes the stairs._

“ _Dude, what about my alcohol?”_

_Daryl laughs; as if the kid was enough of a melon head to buy that._

_Grace has a white board on her door announcing her name as well as her three roommates, so he knows instantly when he’s found her room. Her name written in that sloppy swirl of hers is a dead giveaway. He knocks quickly on the door before he can lose his nerve._

_A tall, rail thin blonde opens the door wearing sweats and a band t-shirt for some band Daryl’s never heard of before. “Who are you?” She asks, button nose wrinkled._

“ _I’m here for Carter, er,” He corrects himself, “Grace. I’m here for Grace.”_

“ _Look, mister.” The blonde blocks the door. If she weren’t so obnoxious he’d be glad that Grace has someone to look out for her here. “She doesn’t need to see anyone right now. If you’re one of Eric’s friends you can just tell him to fuck off and die because…”_

“ _CARTER!” He shouts into the apartment, startling Blondie. She yelps and jumps back. To his left Daryl hears the echo of a lock clicking open and a door swings open._

“ _Daryl?” Grace steps out and she looks a mess. Her hair needs to be brushed. Her face is red and under her eyes there’s brown smudgy stuff that looks like messed up make-up. “What’re you doing here?”_

“ _Told you I was comin’ didn’t I?”_

“ _This is ridiculous, Grace. Who just shows up like that?”_

_Grace just shrugged, leaning over the sink and splashing water on her face. “He’s just… Daryl. Look, I’ve known him for forever, Van. He’s fine. Probably just worried about me.”_

_Vanessa wasn’t impressed. Standing in the doorway of the bathroom she trapped Grace and interrogated her. “Did you date?”_

“ _No.”_

“ _Did you go to school together?”_

“ _What’s with the Twenty Questions, Mom?”_

“ _So not a school friend then. Should have figured. He’s older than us. Just, how old is he?”_

_Grace hummed and hawed a minute before answering. “Twenty-nine.”_

“ _Oh God! This is so fucked up!”_

_Grace glares through the mirror at her roommate. “There’s nothing wrong with having a friend.”_

“ _He’s, like, nine years older than you. Also he smells like motor oil.”_

“ _Probably didn’t have a chance to shower after work. He was making dinner when I called him.”_

_Van seemed to mull everything over. “Have you slept with him?_

“ _What!”_

“ _It’s a simple enough question.”_

“ _Told you we didn’t date.”_

“ _Doesn’t mean you didn’t sleep with him.”_

“ _I’ve never had sex with Daryl, alright? He’s never felt me up. We’ve never even kissed. Does that satisfy your sick curiosity? We’re just friends.”_

“ _What guy just drops everything and drives to Atlanta for some girl he’s not interested in?”_

“ _Vanessa, drop it. He’s like my big brother, okay? Of course he’s going to come running when I get my heart broken.”_

_Grace went back to cleaning herself up. Daryl had told her that he was taking her out and she had better make herself presentable. She had the distinct impression that his idea of nursing a broken heart didn’t include chick-flicks and ice-cream._

“Morning.” Lori wandered over to where Grace was pulling on her boots. She’d woken-up sick to her stomach again and managed to throw up all over her running shoes. Well not really all over, most of it had made it into the ditch on the far side of the road. Still the splatter on her runners was enough to persuade her to switch to her boots. At least until she got a chance to clean the flecks off.

“Hey.” Lori seemed like she wanted to talk and Grace sure as hell didn’t. She still felt out of sorts and uncomfortable; the last thing she needed was someone else putting thoughts into her head. Grace had enough of her own theories keeping her up at night.

“Look, I heard you this morning.” Grace glared. So what if Lori had heard her. It was still none of the other woman’s business. “I’m worried about you.”

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine.”

The dark haired woman seemed properly scolded for a moment. But only a moment. “You didn’t sound fine.”

“I think I’m going to go find Andrea.” Grace hopped off the tailgate and started to walk away.

“When I was pregnant with Carl,” Lori started in a hushed tone. “I threw-up every morning for two weeks before I finally got the nerve to take a test.”

Grace froze. This was the last place she wanted this conversation going.

“We were stupid and got married so we could live together without my parents causing a stink. We were both so young. Kids were not a part of our plan.”

“And why are you telling me this?” She snapped, spinning around to face Lori.

Lori shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “Look, you just seem like you’re showing a lot of signs and I wanted you to know I’m here for you if…”

“Thanks for the concern but I’m _fine_. If I want someone to talk about being pregnant with then I’ll come find you.”

“So you do think you might be pregnant.” Shit.

Grace sighed and brought her hands to her face. “Once I wouldn’t even think about, twice is bizarre, this many times though? Yeah, I’ve thought about it. I’ve been waking-up sick to my stomach since before all this happened. Mind you, I drank most nights so I could pass it off as that. But I never throw-up like that from drinking.”

“Is that why you’ve been so frustrated with Daryl?”

“God no!” Grace actually laughed out loud at the thought. “That’s been a long time coming.”

The two women lapsed into silence, watching the people around them. Everyone seemed to be moving this morning. After last night, few people wanted to stay. There were rumours going around about Fort Benning having a safe zone; other people were talking about maybe hitting the border.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Oh well I thought I’d just run down to the pharmacy and pick myself up a pregnancy test. After that I’ll start planning a shower. We can play that poop game with the chocolate.”

“I’m serious.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like I can really do anything in the middle of nowhere, so why bother worrying about it. Once we settle down somewhere then I’ll get myself in to see a doctor.” That was of course if they ever managed to get to somewhere with doctors.

“How will Daryl take it?”

“I’m not telling him?” She tried hopefully.

“He’ll find out eventually.”

Grace sighed. “Look I don’t need to worry him right now but if push comes to shove he’ll be fine. Daryl takes care of me. Last time he said he would marry me if I was pregnant. I’m sure he won’t run off if this is serious.”

“Actually having a child is a different story though. He’s not exactly the most nurturing individual.”

“You barely know him.” She was frustrated now. Fuck Lori and her interfering ways. She knew next to nothing about their relationship and even less about Daryl but she found the need to judge him. “Personally,” Grace gave Lori a pointed look, “I think Daryl will make a great dad some day.” Then she walked away.

_Grace wasn’t sure if it had been Vanessa’s plan to get Daryl to stay over when she suggested that if they were going to stay up all night that they should go down to the campus coffee shop. Of course Grace could only spend so long in the coffee shop without seeing someone she knew and by her third cup she was too jumpy to sit still._

_Finally Daryl dragged her out of the shop and they walked the streets. It was quarter to twelve on a Saturday and the neighbourhood was full of students. For a whole two blocks there was little but convenience stores and coffee shops and restaurants, then another block that had four bars. Grace found herself drawn though to the single tattoo shop that was also conveniently open in the middle of the night and didn’t require an appointment, perfect for those late-night-bar-crawl-you’ll-regret-this-in-the-morning tattoos._

“ _Fuck Eric!” She shouts suddenly. So suddenly in fact that Daryl jumped away from her, startled and confused._

“ _Do we need to shout it?”_

“ _Yes.” Grace insisted. “The world needs to hear it.”_

“ _World doesn’t give a fuck.”_

_Grace just shrugged, staring openly now at the sign for the tattoo parlour. “Eric hated tattoos.”_

“ _Did he now?” Daryl seemed bored. Strangely enough he’s better with the ranting rage or watery weeping of the break-up than the honest to goodness discussion of it._

“ _Yeah, he was always talking about how slutty they made girls. Guess he was a good judge of that, huh?”_

_He reached into his pocket searching for his pack because this conversation was starting to go nowhere fast._

“ _I think I want to get one.”_

_He snorts, pulling out a cigarette and putting it between his lips. “Yeah yer mum’d love that.”_

“ _Honestly I don’t think she’d care. She’s got some.” Daryl shoots Grace a sceptical look. “No seriously. She’s got my name on her left arm, her and Dad’s initials and their wedding date on her right and a little rose on her ankle.”_

“ _No shit.” He whistles low, impressed._

“ _I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo.”_

“ _So do it.” At this point anything that puts Grace further away from that bastard is all systems go for Daryl._

_Grace nods enthusiastically, “Nothing big and important. Just a stupid little tattoo to say I’ve got one.”_

_An hour later the gung-ho caffeine high is wearing off and she’s getting nervous. She’s been flipping through the same binder of designs and not staring at the pages for far too long._

“ _Decide yet?” He asks and she shrugs. “Not getting scared are you?” Daryl elbows her lightly, egging her on._

“ _Shut-up.” She curses him quietly._

_He laughs loudly. “You little chicken shit.”_

“ _It’s going to be permanently on my body.” Grace hisses back. “I’ve got every right to be nervous.”_

“ _Thought it was just some stupid little tattoo.” Flippant, he tosses her words back at her._

“ _Shut-up.” She repeats, falling silent again. She turns back to pages she’s already seen a dozen times._

“ _I’ll get one if you get one.” Daryl offers finally._

“ _Really?”_

“ _Yeah, I’ll go first an’ then you can see it’s not a big deal. You got something picked out you want?”_

“ _Not from here.” She closes the book and holds up her hand. “I just want a little star. Right here.” Grace pinches the skin between her index finger and thumb._

“ _That’s it. A star?”_

“ _Little, stupid, meaningless. That’s exactly what I want.”_

“ _I can do that.” He shrugs._

“INFECTED!”

Grace jumped to her feet the second she heard the warning. The screaming that immediately followed was enough to motivate her into action. The cars in front of them were alive with panicking people running in all directions to get away from the threat. With all the confusion though, it was hard to determine the origin of the panic. The group looked at each other unsure of where to go or what to do.

Shane had run off through the cars but returned a short while later. “Just one.” He explained. “Some bastard got themselves bitten, didn’t say anything and turned. They were stuck in a car though.”

Everyone settled back down, relieved. The day had been stressful enough without extra excitement. Just to be on the safe side they all retreated into the RV.

Fifteen or so minutes later a skinny man with thick frames glasses walked up to the door and knocked lightly. “Hey there.” He greeted the group.

Dale opened the door to him. “Can I help you?”

“Um, well, maybe.” The man stuttered. “My friends and I have a bit of a problem and we were wondering if you’d maybe be willing to help out.”

Shane pulled himself up and joined Dale at the door. “What can we do for you?”

“Well, see we came up here with two cars but one’s nearly out of gas. We wanted to go to this quarry that I used to camp at when I was a kid but there’s no way for us to bring all our camping gear without Mike’s truck. You guys have this big RV and all. We were thinking that we could share the spot with you and some of our camping supplies if you would be willing to haul it for us.” The kid looked down, shy.

“What makes you so sure we’re leaving?” Shane questioned, a little too sharply.

“Everyone else is!” The kid blurted. “I mean, if you’re not then whatever.” He retracted quickly. “We’ll just find another way. It’s fine. Sorry to bother you.” Quickly he began to back away from the RV.

“Wait!” Lori called out. “Don’t go so fast. Do you mind giving us a minute or so to talk it over.”

The kid perked up. “Yeah? Sure, take as long as you need. We’re the red pickup with the big blue tarp over the back, that way. Just send someone down or whatever.” He turned to leave.

“Wait, kid.” Shane held up a hand. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, Jones. Nick Jones but just call me Jones.”

“Okay, Jones. We’ll send someone down once we’ve talked about it.”

They waited until he actually had left before they started discussing it. Everyone quickly threw out suggestions and Dale had to hold his hands up to stop everyone from talking at once. “One at a time guys.” He mediated. “Shane, you start.”

“Way I see it. The city isn’t safe anymore. They probably got overrun and we should probably get further away from it.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to go into the city in the first place.” Daryl muttered.

“What’s that?” Shane growled sarcastically.

“You heard me.” Daryl growled right back. “We shouldn’t have even tried this shit. Wasted all of yesterday. We had a good set-up. Should never have left the cabin.”

“So your vote is a no then?” Lori jumped in before things got aggressive.

“Never said that. Makes more sense to go to this quarry than try to get to some refugee camp. We’ll never make it back without stoppin’ to get gas somewhere. Roads are too bad.”

“I’m a yes too.” Andrea nodded. “I’d rather be away from all these people.”

Lori looked worried. “Isn’t there safety in numbers?”

“Not like this.” Shane shook his head. “How many other people do you think might be hiding a bite or something? It’ll only be so long before they all start turning and I’d rather not be here when they do.”

“Three for yes then.” Dale counted.

“Me too.” Grace nodded. “Makes more sense to get out of here.”

“Should never have left.” Merle sneered from the door. They turned to look at him. No one had thought to go get Merle. Then again, no one particularly wanted his opinion.

“We didn’t know it would end up like this.” Andrea defended.

“Yer figurin’ that out the hard way ain’t ya.” He sneered. “I say we cut our losses and see what this kid’s got to offer.”

“The refugee centre might still be safe.” Lori’s voice was high now, worrying.

“Or it could be worse than here.” Grace shrugged. “We need to get out while we still can. We made a stupid call coming out here.”

“You wanted to!” The other woman tried but Grace wasn’t having it.

“Yeah and it was a stupid choice.”

“I’m with Andrea.” Amy said. “We can camp for a few days and by then maybe they’ll have everything sorted out and we can try Atlanta again.”

“Seems like we all agree. Lori?” The old man looked at the reluctant woman.

“I guess.” She finally sighed. “So we head to this quarry and wait it out for a few more days.”

Everyone nodded.

“We’ve got to be sure these people aren’t infected though. Otherwise we’ll just end up in the same situation we are here.”

“Okay I’ll go tell the kid. Make sure everything safe and then we’ll head out.” Shane offered. “We can get this place all packed up and get on the road before anything else goes wrong.”

Jones’s friends were Mike and Andrew. They had been at a concert and out of town for the weekend when the roads started closing and they’d been aimlessly driving around with a crap load of tents and gear. They seemed like nice guys but Merle was downright pissed about changing their plans again. He kept pacing around, refusing to help and making snitty comments. Grace ignored him as best she could. She wasn’t sure if he was doing it to be rude or if the older Dixon brother had taken something and his stupid was showing.

Just as they were in the middle of transferring the camping equipment over Carol and Sophia showed up.

The gray haired woman looked around shyly at the camp. “We were just coming to see if Carl wanted to play for a bit but you’re clearly very busy so we’ll go.”

“No, no.” Lori insisted, seemly glad to see her new friend. “Stay a while. I’m sure Carl wouldn’t mind the distraction. Go on Sophia.” She encouraged and the children scampered off together. “Don’t go far.” She called. “Stay where someone can see you.”

“You look like you’re packing up.” Carol whispered.

“Yeah.” Andrea nodded, lifting a duffle bag of tenting equipment. “We’re heading out once we get this stuff packed up.”

“Ed’s been talking about leaving too. He doesn’t want to be around too many people for too long. Nothing’s going the way we expected.”

“Why don’t you come with us?” Amy offered, the bright-eyed girl was completely unaware of how gruff Carol’s husband could be. “A few more couldn’t hurt.”

Lori wasn’t though. She had seen firsthand their arguments last night and wasn’t as eager to have him along. “I don’t know if that would be the best idea.”

“Come on!” Amy insisted. “Carl would love to have someone to play with and maybe he’d stop bothering me all the time.”

“You love the kid.” Her sister teased and Amy nodded, still grinning. They all loved having Carl around. He was a sweet boy. Still it wouldn’t hurt anyone to have more chance for adult time without it being interrupted by a bored child.

“I’d like that.” Carol whispered. “I, I’ll have to… talk to Ed about it. Because he maybe has some plans. And I wouldn’t want to…”

Grace watched the exchange play out a distance. Carol reminded Grace a bit of Daryl when he knew Merle wouldn’t want to do something. Merle, with his drug addiction and bullying, ways somehow seemed the better option in this. The last thing they needed was another controlling bastard running with them and Grace was going to pick the known evil. She was sure the other women while unsettled, we’re quite seeing the warning signs and didn’t know what they were getting themselves into by asking Carol and her little girl along.

She felt bad but she couldn’t afford to get involved in anyone else’s marital problems. She had no responsibility to these strangers. It was bad enough she already was starting to feel protective over the teenager that stowed away in Daryl’s truck.

“Claire.” She called out softly to the girl, who was sitting on the steps of the RV watching the people move around. “Come over here a minute.”

Claire jumped to her feet and hurried over to where Grace had her suitcase open and was sorting through her things. “Hi.” She said shyly but she was clearly pleased to be addressed.

“Hey. Okay I was going through my stuff and these jeans are sort of tight on me. If you want to try them.” She held up the denim and Claire looked at it with worship. Nodding excitedly she took the pair of jeans and held them up to her waist. Grace smiled. “They look like they should fit. Wanna grab a t-shirt to go with them?”

Claire chose a plain baggy shirt and thanked Grace several times.

“It’s fine.” Grace tried to calm the girl’s excitement before she got carried away. “You need more than one set of clothes any ways. Do you know who you’re riding with yet?”

“Mr. Walsh said there was room to ride with him and Mrs. Grimes.”

Grace had to fight back the laughter. She wasn’t sure if the girl knew just how young she sounded and it would probably only hurt their relationship if she pointed it out. “You’ll be fine then. Don’t let Carl annoy you too much. When we get settled we can wash up your clothes and see if we can’t ask the other girls for something to expand your wardrobe. I’m sure Amy or Andrea would have something they wouldn’t mind sharing.”

“Thank-you.” Claire said again before Grace sent her to Dale to find something to put the girls few possessions in.

In the end the Peletiers did end up coming with them, though Ed made it very clear that they were only coming along because the quarry seemed to be the next best option and that he would not be pleased with anyone interfering with his family.

Everyone settled into their vehicles and fell in line behind the SUV their guides were in. Grace just hoped that this would be a better option than the displaced persons camp had been.

Daryl was gruffly silent as they drove along. Grace knew he felt torn between going off alone with his brother and staying with the group for Grace. She regretted ever asking him to come to Atlanta in the first place. It was this stupid pregnancy scare. She wanted people around because it kept her mind off of things. The longer she was able to push it too the back of her mind the better. Of course Lori had to go fuck that up. Now she was guilty and worried and a little bit grumpy. Grace just felt like crap all around.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“Huh?” Daryl took his eyes off the road and turned to her. “What’d ya got to be sorry fer?”

“You were right. We should have stayed at the cabin.” He didn’t deny it. Grace felt her stomach drop even more. “So, I’m sorry.”

“What’s done is done.” He mumbled, focusing hard on driving. “I’d appreciate bein’ in on the decision makin’ process next time. Maybe I coulda talked you outta this stupid idea.”

“Sorry.” She said again.

“Would you quit sayin’ that! Geeze, woman!” He snapped and she held back from repeating it automatically. They drove in silence for a few minutes until he mumbled. “Didn’t mean to shout at you.”

“I know.”

“Just pissed at all of this.”

“I know.”

“Well don’t get all mopey ‘bout it then.” He huffed. “Last thing I need is you cryin’ ‘cause I shouted at you.”

“I’m not crying.”

“Sounds like yer gonna.”

“Well I’m not.” And she couldn’t keep it in any more. She wasn’t going to cry, Grace knew she wasn’t that much of a sissy, but the guilt of keeping her secret from Daryl for much longer was eating away at her. This might be their only chance to be properly alone for the next few days and if she didn’t get it out now she’d lose her nerve. “Daryl,” she whispered, chewing furiously at the corner of her lip. “I’ve gotta tell you something.” She fumbled around the words trying to find the best way to explain herself.

“Well go on. Spit it out.” He grumbled, clearly getting frustrated with her.

“I’m sorry. Just, uh.” She realized she had apologized again and mentally slapped herself. “Okay. I don’t know how to say this so, um, I think I might be pregnant. Actually I’m pretty sure at this point.”

“How sure is pretty sure?”

“Like 99%.”

He didn’t respond. She looked at his hands which were clenching the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. Her eyes fell on the tattoo on his right hand, absently she rubbed her own.

“Daryl. Are you alright?” Now Grace was terrified that she shouldn’t have said anything.

“That why you’ve been throwin’ up?” He mumbled.

“I think so.”

“Okay.”

Okay? That was his response. OKAY? She had fucked up. Again.

“Daryl.”

“No.” He exhaled sharply. “Jus’ don’t talk right now. Jus’ lemme think.”

She nodded and turned to the window, watching the trees fly past them.


	10. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

No one had seen hide nor hair of the Dixon brothers since the two had gone in opposite directions, Merle to get high and Daryl with his crossbow. He hadn’t spoken to Grace for the rest of the drive and she fought back tears most of the way until she fell asleep against the window, only jolting awake when the truck stopped. He had tossed her the keys without a word before storming away. 

She should never have told him.

Jones, Mike and Andrew were more than willing to share their camping equipment with everyone. They had been hauling the stuff for the concert organizers but seeing as they hadn’t heard anything from them in a few days it made more sense to share the wealth. Dale, Andrea, Amy and Claire stayed firm in their sleeping arrangements in the RV. Ed was apparently a survival buff so he had a tent for the family and really wanted nothing to do with them. Shane took a tent for himself though and set up one for Lori and Carl beside it. Lori had tried at first to set-up her own tent but she looked like she was doing more damage than good. 

They offered one to Grace but she turned it down. She and Daryl had a pretty good set-up going on with the truck and they really didn’t need to be changing that now. Somehow she convinced a still cranky Merle to take a tent but he refused to set the damned thing up. Grace found herself trying to set it up just to give him some place other than that cab to sleep in. The further away he was from her the better. Claire had wandered over, now wearing her new jeans and looking proud, to offer her help and between the two of them they managed to get it set up. It was a decent sized tent. Merle didn’t really need all the room but the tents had been meant for groups and the smallest one was a four man. The two women dragged his mattress in and made his bed before dumping his things in it. He could sort through his shit when he got back. 

Mike had a camp stove set out on a large rock and started breaking out pots and pans from the various boxes they had stored in the RV. “We need to set-up a supply tent.” He insisted. “That way we can keep all the extra equipment from getting damaged by being exposed to the elements.”

Everyone agreed and they set-out to put up one of the larger tents. 

“Are you alright?” Andrea asked as Grace stopped working and brought her hands to cover her face. She had the worst headache she can remember having. 

“Just the heat.” She brushes off the concern. Lori looked across the clearing at them with concern. Grace tried her best not to make eye contact but Lori has a mother’s instinct and showed up beside them a moment later. 

“Here.” She held out a bottle of water. “You need to stay hydrated.”

“I’m fine.” Grace said as she sways on her feet. 

“You’re not you need to take care of yourself for the...” The dark-haired woman clenches her jaw to keep the secret in. “Go lay down before I worry too.” She begs quietly. 

Grace is about to protest again when Andrea takes the tarp from her hands. She had forgotten she was holding it. “Go on. We’ve got this covered.”

“Alright.” She reluctantly accepts the water, cracking the seal and bringing it to her lips. She knows she’s got to take better care of herself. Might as well start now. She’d seen the effects of ignorance on newborns and she doesn’t have the luxury of not knowing. She shouldn’t have been drinking, shouldn’t have let Daryl smoke around her, should be taking prenatal vitamins. Hell, she shouldn’t have even taken the Pepto.

Grace goes to the truck and lets herself into the back. They had made the bed up that morning and then just put the supplies on top of the bedding so it’s easy enough to crawl under the sheets and snuggle up with Daryl’s pillow. 

Thousands of thoughts rush around her head like bees. The sun is beating down on the truck and it’s fucking HOT. She makes a note to move it when she gets up. Closer to the trees and in the shade or it’s going to be hell to sleep here after a few days. Another sip of water and she wonders what they’re going to do without a filter once the bottled stuff runs out. She’s never had to determine if water is safe to drink before. Maybe they won’t even be here by the time they need to worry about that. They may end up moving on again in a few days. Either way Shane seemed to know what he was doing when it came to boiling water from the river. 

Relax, she tries to will her body but she’s tense and it’s a long time before she dozes off.

\---

“Where is she?” Daryl grunts when he gets back to where the others had set up camp. 

Lori looks up shocked. Part of her expected to never see him again, to just have him vanish. She’s sure Grace told him and Daryl doesn’t seem like the kind to stick around and settle down, no matter what Grace seems to think he’s capable of. He’s not a man of responsibility. “She went to lay down for a bit.” Holding her temper as best she can, Lori doesn’t add, And where the hell have you been? It’s hard but she has to keep reminding herself that their relationship isn’t any of her business and Grace needs a friend more than a meddler now. 

He shakes his head at the truck and Lori nods. 

The tailgate is up when he gets there but the back window is flipped up and the ones on the side are cracked open. Daryl can see the swelling under her eyes from crying herself to sleep and she’s cradling a pillow to her stomach. Guilt washes over him and he draws back again. 

This he can’t deal with.

Clutching his crossbow more tightly he turns away from the truck and walks off into the woods again. He walks until he finds a felled tree and settles himself down on it. Shaking out a cigarette he lights it with his Bic and smokes quickly. His hands are shaking.

“Damn it you really are a pussy.” 

“Don’t got time for you, Merle.”

His brother just laughs and steps further out from the shadows. He reeks of chemicals. Daryl pulls back as Merle drops to the ground beside him, leaning back against the tree. “Gimme one.” He holds his hand out for a smoke. 

Sighing, Daryl complies. Merle inhales long and hard before exhaling. “See baby brother, your problem is she’s got you pussy whipped.” He grins. “Least she ain’t a tease about it. You just gotta show her her place ‘fore she gets too carried away. She’d have you follow her half way around the globe an’ still not be happy.”

The younger Dixon grimaces, not replying. 

Merle takes this as a sign to go on. “I say we leave these assholes behind. Bring her if you gotta but don’t let her get ya all worked up if she says no. We don’t need ‘em, eh?” He thumps Daryl on the leg. 

“I ain’t leavin’.” Daryl mumbles.

“Suit yourself.” Merle stretches, “I’m thinkin’ ‘bout taking off. These people ain’t my problem. Only reason I came with in the first place is that bitch took my stash.” 

“Stop talkin’ about her!” Daryl snaps. “Jesus, Merle, she ain’t done nothin’ to ya. You said ya didn’t hate her so just stop alright! Fuck!” He stands swiftly, pacing back and forth. Tossing the butt to the side, he smashes his boot into it and balls his fists. “I’m tired of your bullshit!”

Merle howls with glee, slapping his thighs. “Don’t let me get in yer way none. Seems like yer on a mission. You gonna save her? Keep her safe? Be her hero? Listen, Daryl. She might act like she cares for you but she’s gonna dump you like dog turds sooner than you know it. You can’t keep a girl like that around. She won’t get tied down to ya.”

Daryl throws himself at Merle, grabbing his brother by the neck of his shirt. “That’s my woman.” He snarls as they roll around on the forest floor. “She says she’s my woman and I believe her.” Merle ducks the punch Daryl aims at him and he clips his brother in the side of his face, just before his ear.

Merle’s eyes are wild and he’s enjoying the fight. He aims a blow to Daryl’s ribs and rolls them over to pin his brother when he gasps. “Got yer balls in her pocket.”

Daryl struggles frantically to get free of the bigger man. The two wrestle for a few minutes until Daryl gets one of his arms free enough to swing back and connect his fist with Merle’s nose. Merle reels back, still laughing, as blood runs across his lips and down his chin. “If yer gonna leave. Then just leave.” Daryl hisses at his older brother. “Don’t need you fuckin’ shit up any more. We don’t need you no more.”

“Yer right about that, Darylina.” Merle wipes his face with his sleeve. “You fuck shit up well enough all by yer lonesome.”

Daryl grimaces. 

“If you need her so much then why ain’t you with her right now.” Merle spits out a red glob. He cackles when Daryl remains silent. “Yer out here all alone and where is she? With them. Why’s that? ‘Cause she don’t need you no more. All these people. They’ll take care of her. Just walk away, sweetheart. Don’t you think she deserves better ‘an shit like us?”

Daryl blinks, his eyes are watering and it only makes him more frustrated. His hands sting from smacking at Merle. “Yes. No. Fuck. I dunno any more.”

“What’re you gonna give her if you stick around? Not fancy shit or a nice house, that’s fer sure. White picket fence? Flowers and hearts and candy? We ain’t made like that. If you leave her now it’ll hurt her short term but she’ll find someone nice. Someone good for her.”

Daryl snuffled, rubbing his hands angrily over his face. He turned away from Merle so his brother wouldn’t see.

“Don’t be such a little bitch about this. It ain’t that big a deal. You’ve just been stuck with her too long. Thinkin’ it means more than it does.”

“You don’t know what yer talkin’ about!”

“Sure I do.” Merle knelt to pick-up Daryl’s pack off the ground. He pulled out a fresh cigarette and stuck it between his lips. “I’m the older brother. Means I’m smarter.” He lit his cigarette. “You can’t let women get to you. They just ain’t worth it.”

“She is.”

“No.” Merle chuckled. “She ain’t.”

“She’s pregnant.”

The older Dixon brother stared openly for a minute before swearing. “Oh fuck. She tell you that? She say that exactly?”

“Merle.”

“‘Cause women, sometimes they get all stressed and stuff when they’re late or whatever but it ain’t really nothing.”

“Shut-up.” Daryl turned his back on his brother and started to walk away.

“She’s just sayin’ it to get to you.”

He kept moving, putting more distance between him and the shouting. 

“Don’t let her do this to you. You let her do this and you’ll never be through with her!”

Daryl pushed forward, his brother’s voice fading into the trees. He rubbed his face awkwardly. Hands scratching at his hair, messing it. The only one he wanted to see now was Grace and she was probably furious at him for not talking to her. Fuck this. Fuck Merle. Fuck everyone. He broke through the trees just a short distance from the truck and quickly moved across the open space. This time he didn’t stop at the tailgate but instead opened it quietly and let himself in. 

Grace woke-up as Daryl hopped into the truck. She was half asleep and completely unwilling to talk to him. Rolling over she buried her face into his pillow, which she was still curled around. 

Daryl pulled the tailgate closed after himself and crawled onto the mattress beside her. “Hey,” He whispered pressing against her.

“Not in the mood, Daryl.” She muttered, pulling away from him.

His earlier tears of frustration and anger made a sudden reappearance. Hiding them from her and himself, he buried his face into her hair. Daryl tries his best not to completely break down as her body stiffens.

Grace rolls over to glare at him. “I told you I’m not in the mood.”

He’s startled by the bite in her words. How much they actually hurt him. The pain of realizing just how vulnerable she makes him hits him hard in the gut. He glares back at her, offended that she could affect him like this. 

She breaks first, sighing and pulling him towards her, pushing herself against him. He rests a hand against her hip, wincing as the movement means his hand brushed the sheets and irritates the raw skin on his knuckles. Grace looks concerned, taking his fingers between hers and looking them over critically.

“Ain’t nothing.”

“What did you do?”

He exhales as she brushes her lips across the tender places. “Got into it with Merle.”

“Why?”

“He wants us to leave.”

“We only just got here.”

“Me an’ him leave.”

“Oh.” Grace pulls the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Ain’t gonna, if that’s what yer askin’.” He pulled his hand free from hers, bringing it to her cheek. “Can’t go leavin’ my woman unprotected out here no matter what that prick says.”

She smacked him lightly. “You’re such a caveman sometimes.”

“Whatever.” He grinned slightly. “Still got you, don’t I?”

Grace nodded shyly and looked down at her stomach. “Unless this scares you.”

Carefully Daryl brought the hand from her hip and pushed it under her shirt, sliding his fingers across her skin. “Course it does. Don’t mean I’m takin’ off though. Just needed to sort through my options.”

“You haven’t asked me.” The words came so quietly that Daryl barely caught them.

He gave her a curious look, still drawing circles with his thumb next to her navel. “What’s that?”

“If I even want to have a baby.” 

Daryl’s hand stilled. “What’d ya mean?”

“I don’t have to be pregnant. It’s not a life sentence. I’m not bringing a child into this world just because it’s a possibility. There are other options.”

“You’d do that?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to process the information. She knew it wasn’t because he was angry, just that he was thinking hard.

“Give me your hand.” She caught his fingers and pulled them up to eye level. “Right now.” She stroked his thumb. “It’s smaller than your first knuckle. No bigger than a jellybean. That’s not a baby, Daryl. That’s a spot.” 

Thumb out of his clenched fist hitchhiker style, Daryl didn’t meet Grace’s eyes. He turned his hand side to side, mulling over that information. “So it’d end just like that?”

“It’s simple enough. Not really a big deal at this point.”

Still staring at his hand, “Do you want to end it?”

“Sometimes.”

“And the other times?”

“The other times I think about going through with this. Having it. Becoming parents. Taking on that responsibility. Bringing a whole new person into the world. Little fuzzy on the details after though.”

“A baby’s a commitment.”

“We don’t have to go through with it. Every child should be wanted, Daryl. It’s just unfair otherwise.”

She doesn’t expect him to admit what he does. He finally makes eye contact and says, “Sometimes I use to wish I’d a never been born.”

“Daryl.”

“When my dad was screamin’ at Mom and slappin’ her ‘round, I use ta think if I weren’t there she, she coulda left. If it weren’t for me and Merle. She coulda left ‘fore he did her in. Even Merle, she coulda run with him. Once he got big enough. Then I happened and she couldn’t do it with two little ones.”

“Hey,” She whispered, pulling his hands together and kissing him. “I’d be sad if you were never born.”

“You wouldn’t know any better. This’d never have happened. We wouldn’t be having this talk right now.”

“Look at me.” She grabbed his face between her hands. His blue eyes are glassy but he looked directly at her. “If I hadn’t met you I wouldn’t be who I am today. Most days I like who I am and I sure as shit wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I don’t regret anything we’ve done. Any of it.”

He pulled away from her sniffling. Furiously he rubbed his face with the back of his hand. “Yeah?” There was so much hope in his voice.

“Of course. Why would I? We’re good together, Daryl. When we can get our shit together at least.” Grace reached out and took his hand again. Bringing the palm of his right hand against the palm of her left she pointed to the black stars marking their skin. “We line up.”

“Yer too sentimental.”

“You’ve been listening to Merle too much. There’s nothing wrong with having feelings.”

They lapsed into silence. Daryl’s eyes clearing and his body relaxing. Grace was just about to suggest that they either lie down for a bit or go see what was going on with the rest of the group when Daryl asked, “If we go through with this, what does that mean for us?”

“If we have this baby? We’ll be parents. We won’t be able to be so willy-nilly about how we do things. We don’t have to change who we are though. This isn’t about getting married or whatever. We still need to work on whatever this relationship is going to be. If it ends though, we’ll always be more than just friends after.”

He nodded. “And if we don’t?”

“Then we still need to work on whatever this is. There’s no easy way out.”

He swallowed and looked out the window. “I think we should try.” Daryl squinted. “Maybe we wouldn’t be so bad at it.”  
-  
Grace leaned her head against his shoulder. “I think you’d be a great dad.”

“I’d be alright.”

“You’ll be fine. Just don’t talk to Merle because he’s not the best judge of positive character traits. What were you guys fighting about anyway? Couldn’t have just been leaving.”

Daryl shook his head. “I said I didn’t want to go with him and he started in on you. Said you were just goin’ leave me so I might as well do it first.”

“I’m not.” She blurted. 

“Not with this baby.”

“Even without the baby.”

“You mean that?”

“Every time I say it. I want us to be us. I want you.”

For a second she wonders if she’s taken it too far then Daryl grabs her almost aggressively and pulls her into him, crashing his lips against hers. He’s rough, teeth and spit, demanding that she respond to him. Grace gives it back just as much. Her frustration, her fear, her want. 

When he finally pulls back, Daryl places his hand over her heart and says, “I want this.” Gentle now that the immediate need to release tension is gone, he slides his hand down her torso to rest across her stomach and says again, this time almost reverently, “I want this.”

\---

When Grace and Daryl let themselves out of the truck it’s getting close to lunch time and everyone is putting the finishing touches on cooking pits and sleeping quarters. They had decided on a flat stretch of land about a fifteen minute walk from the quarry itself. It was a good place for watching on all sides what was approaching but it also meant that they would have to haul water. Shane fills the back of the SUV with buckets and drives off to haul up the first load of water. Grace had made sure to pack the wash bins from the cabin so it shouldn’t be too difficult to wash dishes and the like. Of course laundry and bathing will have to be done down at the quarry but that really couldn’t be helped. 

After a light lunch they all walked down to the waterfront together along the path to make sure that that everyone would know where they were going. 

“We gotta travel in pairs.” Shane started. “No one wanders off by themselves.”

Everyone nodded along. Beside her Daryl snorted but they were far enough away from everyone she was sure he couldn’t be heard. Daryl and Grace hung off to one side. She was just pleased that he had agreed to come with them so she allowed him the space he craved. Like high school students, they bumped their arms together the entire walk but didn’t hold hands. She would have laughed at anyone else doing that but for Daryl, even walking close enough to her in a public setting to bump her hand was a big step.

For a moment they made eye contact. She smiled and he dropped the gaze, neck going red. Grace couldn’t help but smile bigger at that. 

“If you’ve got to go somewhere you need to tell someone where you’re going and how long you should be then check back in with them once you get back. That way we can keep track of everyone.” The officer continued. “Please don’t go exploring the forest just for the fun of it.”

“If we get lost, should we hug a tree?” Daryl called out. 

Grace scolded him lightly by elbowing him in the side. Daryl just smirked at her. 

“As much as I don’t appreciate the sarcasm,” Shane glared. “It’s probably best if you do stay in one place once you realize you’re lost. We’ll send someone out to find you. Hopefully you’ve remembered to tell someone where you were going so we can know where to start looking.”

“How are we doing washing ourselves?” Andrea asked. “It’s a big quarry. Unless we set something up, someone’s going to get walked in on.”

“We’ll figure something out. Until then though we’re just going to have to be as respectful of everyone’s privacy. We’ll set-up a toilet area too. That way we can keep all the... waste in one area.”

“God I hate camping.” Amy grumbled. “Why can’t we just use the RV toilet?”

“I’d prefer we keep the RV use to night times only when it’s not as safe to wander out in the dark.” Dale said. “There are a lot of us and those tanks will fill up quickly otherwise.”

“Do you wanna be the one to clean out those tanks?” Daryl muttered.

“That makes sense.” Shane agreed. “Let’s pass that information along to everyone who’s not here.”

“Carl.” Lori called after her son who was racing ahead to the water. “Don’t get your shoes wet.” Behind the little boy, Sophia walked carefully. She was a cautious child and Grace sort of worried about her upbringing. Her mom had chosen to hang back at camp with Ed and no one was too sorry about not bringing the man with them. Jones and Mike had also stayed at the camp but Andrew was happy enough to come along. No one expect Merle to come with them. 

Grace wasn’t too happy with him at all. She needed more time before she forgave him for trying to get Daryl to leave. He was a manipulative bastard who was constantly taking advantage of his brother and using him. Not to mention the drug use was downright dangerous given their situation. The last thing they needed was him tweeking when walkers showed up and him getting carried away. Meth wasn’t the prettiest of drugs. According to everything she’d seen, it made you feel immortal and people that took it did some pretty stupid things. A couple of years earlier some kid had been run over trying to literally play Frogger with a group of his friends on the 85. 

To say anything she was pretty happy that he wasn’t making a bother out of himself. 

“So you hunt?” Andrew had decided that socializing with Daryl was acceptable. Perhaps the kid just didn’t understand that some people do not want to make small talk.

“Mm-hmm,” Daryl grunted affirmatively.

“That’s cool, man. My dad and I used to go out turkey hunting in the fall. It was fun you know. Family bonding.”

Daryl stared blankly. Family bonding was not high on his list of reasons to go hunting. He had always hunted to put food on the table or, in the case of squirrel shooting, to relieve stress.

“Yeah we could go like hunting together and bring back food and shit. It’ll be awesome right. I like this whole living off the land thing. Back to our roots, right?”

Daryl just walked away. Grace shrugged and followed helplessly behind. It wasn’t her fault that Daryl wasn’t a people person. Anyone could see that and the kid clearly needed to go find friends somewhere else. 

\---

That night at the fire, Grace sat down apart from the group a little with a calendar she had borrowed from out of the RV and a notepad. She turned on her phone for the first time in days. The battery was still half charged and she scribbled down the dates she needed before turning the phone back off again. Andrea noticed the light and wandered over. 

“What are you doing over here by yourself?” She questioned.

Grace shrugged. She wanted to do this on her own. In her opinion, the fewer people that knew about the pregnancy at this point the better. It wasn’t any one else’s business and it was bad enough Lori had gotten herself involved. Deep down Grace was thankful for the older woman’s intervention but she was still more anxious than accepting of her condition. The last thing she wanted was anyone treating her any differently and making her the subject of camp gossip. It wasn’t like she was actually friends with any of these people. She’d known them for less than a week. It was barely enough time to become comfortable with them, let alone having them know her private business. 

“Nothing.”

Andrea was persistent. There wasn’t much happening, especially after dark when it really wasn’t safe to go too far from camp. Anything that was a little bit different peaked her interest. “Come on. What’s the calendar for?”

Grace slowly went still as the blonde leaned over to get a look at what was on the paper. “Do you mind?”

“What’s with all those dates?”

She yanked the page against her chest and glared. “It’s none of your business alright.”

“Geeze!” The blonde woman held up her hands in defense. “I was just asking. What’s gotten into you?”

Slowly she lowered the notebook. Grace felt kind of bad about snapping. It wasn’t Andrea’s fault that she was pregnant. Things were boring and she wasn’t trying to hurt anything by being nosey. Andrea was probably just trying to be friendly. As much as she didn’t want anyone else to know it was going to come out eventually. 

“Sorry, I’m just a little stressed.”

“Did you and Daryl have a fight?”

“Why does everyone always assume that?” Grace retorted. “We’re fine. Probably better than fine actually.” Andrea snuck a glance at the paper, less than subtly. 

“Were you like a mathematician or something?”

“What?”

“All those dates and numbers?”

“No, I went to college for nursing but the last couple of years I mostly pick up hours serving.” Grace laughed, “I’m trying to figure out the date of my last period.”

“Okay that’s a TMI.”

“You asked.”

“So you’re just one of those freaky people that charts their temperatures or something?”

“Not exactly.” Yup, the other woman wasn’t the brightest. 

“So you’re just bored?”

“Of course, I keep track of my menstrual cycles to alleviate boredom.”

“Seems like a stupid pastime.” Andrea quipped back.

“You have to swear up and down you won’t tell anyone what I am about to tell you.” Grace dropped her voice to a harsh whisper. I don’t need this to be some kind of creepy camp gossip.”

“Whatever it is, your secret is safe with me.”

“I’m trying to find out my due date.”

Andrea’s eyes went wide. “Holy crap.”

“Yeah I know.”

“So that’s why you’ve felt like crap the past few days. So what have you been able to figure out?”

Grace held up the paper she had been writing on. “Well every time I got my period I marked it down in my phone so I could predict when my next one was going to be. I should have gotten it on the 10th. Problem is my period before that was really light. So I’m guessing it wasn’t really a…” she paused. “This is an awkward conversation isn’t it? We barely even know each other.”

Andrea tipped her head a little and laughed. “You know, usually I’d agree with you but honestly, there’s nothing regular about our situation at all. I mean I’ve know you for less than a week, right, we’re not friends or anything. Still I feel closer to you and Lori than I’ve ever felt with my other friends. Even Amy and I are closer than we’ve ever been. I guess it’s the situation.”

Nodding in agreement, Grace added, “It’s still a weird conversation.”

“Whatever, there’s nothing else interesting to talk about.”

“You honestly want to hear about my period.”

“You said it wasn’t a period.” Andrea pointed out.

“Right. Well it’s not though a lot of people think it is. It’s like that show, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. Lots of women have what’s called implantation bleeding. It’s when the little bundle of cells that will grow into a fetus implants into the wall of the uterus. Anyway it sort of seems like a period if you’re not paying attention. I was late so I just got excited that it was happening and didn’t pay attention. Denial, it’s a fun fact of life.”

“How far along are you then?”

“Seven weeks? Give or take obviously. Without an ultrasound it’s hard to tell so I’m just guessing based on my last proper period. It actually puts my due date right around the very end of March or beginning of April.”

“That’s still such a long way away.”

“I know but in a way it’s not really. Hopefully we get settled somewhere and I can get checked out by a doctor well before then. The time is just going to fly by.”

\---

“More?” Grace questioned. She and Claire were walking back with a load of laundry each. There were new cars parked at the edge of the camp and a crowd was gathering in the centre of the circle of tents. They’d been at their new camp for just a week and slowly, others had been making their way out of the ruined city. Shortly after their arrival, a young Korean named Glenn had arrived, alone and on foot. He had apparently decided to walk out of Atlanta given that most of the roads were closed. It had taken him three days to get to the quarry. He had freaked out when he heard about the bombing. He’d been too far away to see it for himself. 

A second group came two days later. Eight in all, over six cars. Three had left after barely staying the night but they only took one of the cars to save on fuel. A boney woman named Jacquie; a footballer of a man named T-Dog; a man with sunken, haunted eyes called Jim; and a couple called Lee and Whitney remained. They’d been on a different highway trying to make it out of the city but were stopped at a gas station behind roadblocks and ended up camping there for over a week. Just as Shane had predicted people hid that they had been scratched or bitten and the camp was overrun in the night. They escaped with what few belongings were in their cars. They’d found Jim along the way. He had apparently made it out of Atlanta but no one was quite sure on the details and no one had the heart to ask him.

This new car seemed to belong to a Hispanic family. Lori was chatting happily with the woman (mother?) as two shy children peeked out from behind her legs. The man (father?) seemed to be engaged in a conversation with Dale and Glenn. Glenn had been back into the city to get more supplies. After walking out he said it was much easier to take a car most of the way. Grace wasn’t sure how he honed his tactical skills but he was apparently rather good at getting in and out of the ruins of the city. 

It was still crawling with walkers though with no signs of whoever had bombed the crap out of the streets. 

“We sent you for food Glenn.” She called across the camp. “Not more mouths to feed.”

Glenn laughed, “Come on, I couldn’t just leave them there. Anyway, Morales says he’d be willing to come into the city with me on a few trips once they get settled in a bit.” 

Grace set down her container of wet clothes and gestured for Claire to do the same. The two approached the newcomers happily. They were getting used to always having strangers around. The more people came though, the more Daryl and Merle spent away from camp. “Grace Carter.” She offered her hand to the woman first and then the man.

“Miranda Morales.” The woman smiled a little, “And my husband David. These two are Eliza and Louis.” 

The shook hands quickly and Grace smiled as warmly at the children as she could. “Do you guys have a place to sleep yet?”

“We’ve been sleeping in our car. None of us thought to bring camping equipment. All the PSAs said there would be supplies provided for us.” 

“You don’t have anything?”

“Not much,” David continued for his wife. “We were lucky enough to find some food in a gas station a while back that hadn’t been looted already.”

Lori looked shocked. “We should have offered. I’ll get something together for you guys. You must be starving.” She turned toward the tent that had been set-up to hold most of their shared supplies. “We keep boiled water in the jugs in here so if you ever need any…” she explained as the new family followed behind. 

“We’ll have to find them a tent too.” Shane agreed. “First things first though. Glenn, what did you bring us back?” 

The Korean’s face lit up. “Come one and see!” He laughed, shifting the ball cap on his head. “I’ve got almost a whole car load and managed to siphon two full jugs of gas.”

\---

Grace’s stomach had been bothering her all day. Not her usual nausea, but cramping and a backache. Miserable she’d decided to forgo chores for the afternoon and lay in bed instead. She napped on and off. Sometimes trying to get some reading done. Lori came to find her around dinner time with food.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Like crap. I don’t know what’s going on and it makes me nervous.”

Lori frowned. “You just need to get some rest. You’ve been doing too much. How many times have you hauled laundry up and down that hill? It’s no wonder you’re feeling rough. I’ll bring you some fresh water. You eat something and get back to sleep.”

“I think I’m going to pee first.” 

“Go on and use the RV. I’m sure no one would mind just this once.” The other woman smiled and Grace grinned back. Sure it was spoiling herself but didn’t she deserve a little bit of a treat? Not peeing in the woods could be that.

\---

“Carter!”

The voice rang across camp and Grace jumped to her feet almost instantly. Daryl was back. He’d been gone since early that morning. His hunting trips were getting longer and closer together. After her nap she had felt a little better and decided to come out and sit with the groups as they gathered around the fires. It’s almost dark and she was beginning to worry when he was going to come back. The later in the day it got the more the question was turning from when to if.

At the edge of the woods Daryl was holding just three rabbits; his crossbow was over his shoulder. “Where you at?”

“You asshole.” She laughed, running up to him, stopping just short of throwing her arms around his neck. That he wouldn’t appreciate. “What took you so long?

“Spent half the time talkin’ Merle out of runnin’ out on uh y’all. He ain’t comin’ with me tomorrow. He can fuck around here for all I care.”

“What do you want him to do around here? He’ll just get into trouble.”

“Yeah well it’s hard enough huntin’ for this lot when nobody will eat half uh what you catch. Can’t be watchin’ after him all the time too.”

“Stop bringing back squirrels then.”

“Meat’s meat.” He shrugged. “Wanna help me skin up Bugs?” He waggled the rabbits around and Grace flinched a little. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll just wait that one out at a safe distance. I haven’t been sick yet today and I’d like to see how long I can keep the streak going.”

Daryl laughs then casts a quick glance around to make sure no one is looking. Everyone seems to have gone back to whatever they were doing before he shouted. With one hand he reaches out to her, grabbing her by the wrist and mumbling, “Come ‘ere.” He pulls her into the shadows with him, out of sight from everyone else. It’s like he can’t stand to be away from her any longer but he also doesn’t want anyone to see the weakness. 

He knots his fingers in her hair, slowly pressing his lips to hers. “Missed you.” He murmurs and she wonders just what the fuck Merle must have said to him that Daryl so needs to know she’s there. 

“Mmm,” His lips slide across her jaw. Daryl nibbles just where her jaw becomes her neck. “Missed you too.” She sighs. Grace likes this sort of greeting, a reminder that he actually does need and want her, that he misses her when they’re apart. His stubble burns her neck as he nuzzles her. He’s been doting on her the past few days but they haven’t had sex since the cabin. Or more likely, since she told him she was pregnant. She’s dying. “We should find some place private.”

Immediately the kissing stops as he freezes against her. “I dunno...” Daryl mumbles into her hair. “Lotta people around.”

“Tonight? After everyone’s asleep then?”

“Uh, maybe.”

\---

“I think we’re going to have to start eating squirrels.” Jacquie didn’t look too pleased by the idea but by the looks of their food stores and how big the group had gotten they didn’t have much of a choice. 

“That’s gross.” Amy pretends to wretch, picking up a can of baked beans. “I mean there’s gotta be something else in these woods.”

“Daryl says we’ve scared off most animals that people would want to eat close to camp. There are too many of us and he doesn’t have time to track deer or whatever. It’s gotta be small so it doesn’t spoil before we can eat it.” Grace snorts. She doesn’t like the idea any better than them but what other options do they have?

“It’s not that bad really.” Mostly the girl is quiet, preferring to be seen rather than heard but every once and while Claire chooses to participate in the conversation she makes a rather bold point. All three women look at the girl who blushes. “The boys used to bring back squirrels and woodchucks all the time.” 

“And you would eat them?” Amy asks shocked. 

Claire tugs a braid nervously. “When you got fresh meat sittin’ right there it’d be wrong to let it go to waste.”

\---

Merle wakes up cursing the world. Apparently Daryl hadn’t told him that the next hunting trip would be a solo one and everyone in the camp looks at Grace like he’s suddenly her responsibility. 

“Who the fuck does he think he is? Leavin’ me here like some kinda HOUSE WIFE!”

Grace hangs back. If she gets involved now he’s going to end up slamming her around. Instead she watches him throw his temper tantrum until finally settling into a dull roar of muttered curses. “Hey Merle.” A cautious approach is what she needs now something to diffuse the last of his tension. 

“What’d you want, Gracie?”

“Brought you smokes.” She holds out her peace offering, then stands her ground in the resulting eye contact standoff. 

Finally Merle hauls himself to his feet and rips the pack out of her hand nearly dislocating her arm in the process. Merle’s got his own little campfire in front of his tent. It’s one thing she’s glad for. Even though he scares the fuck out of everyone in camp he’s been trying to be on his best behaviour by keeping out of everyone’s way. He slumps back down on the log he was using as a seat. Sliding a cylinder between his lips, Merle pats his pockets for a light. He pulls out a book of matches, strikes it and lights his cigarette. A wary glance goes her way when he exhales. “Shouldn’t be smokin’ ‘round you in yer condition.”

“I’m all the way over here and the wind is blowing the other direction. I’ll be fine.” There’s a spare lawn chair and Grace drags it over, setting it up a safe distance from Merle. She’s got a book she borrowed from Dale in the RV. There’s not much of a selection but Lori’s told her she needs to get more rest. If she didn’t read, Grace would be stuck lying around and doing nothing. 

For once Merle doesn’t bitch her out for being lazy. He’s doing his damned best to ignore her but he’s failing miserably. She can tell she’s getting under his skin because he’s practically twitching to say or do something. Finally he snarls, “You jus’ gonna sit there?”

“Not allowed to do anything else. Lori’s put me on lockdown and if she’s catches me doing anything I’ll get a tongue lashing.”

“Bet you could take her.” Merle chuckles.

“You’d like it too much if I did.” She laughs with him. “Anyway some of us are trying to get along with others.”

“Ain’t no one here worth makin’ friends with. A cop, a couple uh bossy skanks, the frat pack, a chink, some niggers and a family uh Messicans.”

“You forgot Dale.”

“Nosey old man.” Merle grumbles. “Dixons weren’t meant to mix none with people like ‘em.”

“What, Dixon’s can’t associate with regular people?”

“Fuck off.” He puffs heavily on his cigarette. Grace is about to start worrying that she’s over stayed her welcome when he talks again. “Yer about the only one other than Daryl that takes my shit.”

“Oh really?”

“You mighta grown up a princess but life weren’t that easy on us, Carter.” He rubs the inside of his arm. Merle doesn’t shoot up, she knows that for a fact. He’ll smoke it or snort it or eat it but he won’t stick a needle in his body. He’s too scared of getting AIDs or some other “faggy” disease. If his arms are anything like Daryl’s then he’s rubbing at the small circular scars there. Daryl’s got seven, three on the right arm and four on the left. Cigarette burns. 

Do unto others before they do unto you. It might as well be on the Dixon family crest. She wishes she knew just exactly they went through. The snippets here and there that she’s been told paint a very different picture than her own childhood. 

“Maybe life wouldn’t keep being so rough on you if you didn’t keep kicking it in the teeth.”

He snorts, tapping ash against his boot. “You lead such a charmed life, kid. Sometimes the universe just makes trash and spends the next sixty or so years tryin’ it’s best to fix its mistake. No one never bothered watchin’ out for ol’ Merle. Had to learn young that some people were jus’ too good for me.”

“That’s bullshit, Merle. The only reason people treat you like crap is because you want them too. If you’d stop being such an asshole then people wouldn’t have a reason to hate you.”

“It’s better not gettin’ close to no one.”

“You keep that up you’ll die alone, you grumpy old man.”

“Aw, Gracie I didn’t know you cared.” His tone is teasing but she can see the tiredness in his face. The bastard. He feels so abandoned by Daryl leaving him behind but it’s just one more disappointment in a long line of them. 

She sighs, “You oughta give people a chance.”

They lapse into silence and Grace actually managed to get back into her story. Merle pulls out a second cigarette and lights it of the butt of the first. Daryl and Merle are far more alike than she thought. It’s a painful thought but she wonders if, without her to pull him from his shell, if Daryl would be as angry and bitter as Merle was. Would he too be using? Would the brothers have even stayed with the group?

“He’s lucky ta have ya.” Merle squashes the butt under his boot and stands, cracking his back and neck.

Grace looks up confused but Merle doesn’t elaborate any further. Instead he turns to walk away.

“Where’re you going?”

“Jesus woman!” He grumbles, but she can hear the pleased tone in his voice. “Can’t a man take a piss in peace? You won’t miss me if I’m gone for five fuckin’ minutes.”

Merle doesn’t come back though. Eventually Grace moves over to the table where the moms have set up an afternoon school for the children. Sophia has a copy of Watership Down and when the kids started getting bored of math lessons and printing practice Grace offered to read aloud to them. 

“It’s gonna be late.” The little girl says in reference to the book. “I’ve never had a library fine before.” She’s quiet most of the time but better at speaking up when her brute of a father isn’t around. The majority of the women have gone down to wash up laundry and Ed lurked behind them. 

“I’m sure they’ll know that you wanted to bring the book back.” Grace reassures her. 

“We went out on vacation once.” Eliza says, “So I skipped library day at school and Mom just wrote a note. Maybe your mom could do the same thing?”

“See, it’ll get sorted out.” Slowly Grace started reading. It had been a long time since she read anything out loud that wasn’t a picture book for Amber’s little boy and he tended to not have a long enough attention span to listen to the whole story. 

\---

Grace woke-up that night to a hand over her mouth. Immediately she whimpered against the palm but a familiar voice whispered in the dark. “Shhh, it’s jus’ me.” 

“Daryl?” She pushed the hand off her face and squinted in the black. 

“Yeah, who else?”

Struggling to get free of the sheets, Grace threw herself around him. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know how late it is?” He’d been gone all day. She finally gone to bed, completely exhausted after waiting up as long as she possibly could. Without a clock she had no way of telling just how long it had been since she fell asleep but it felt like forever. 

“Got a deer. Took me a while to gut it and drag it up here. Then I had to hang it up somewhere, so it wouldn’t attract nothin’.”

Grace wanted to be there when people woke-up to find a deer carcass hanging from a tree. There would be venison for dinner though. “Are we going to be able to eat a whole deer?”

“Nah, I’m gonna dry it up first thing when I get up. Make jerky.”

“Makes sense.” Grace snuggled up against him. His skin was cool to the touch and his hair was dripping on to his shoulders. He’d apparently gone for a swim before coming to wake her up. He smelled wonderfully fresh. She reached to unbutton his shirt but his hands stopped her. 

“What’re you doin’?”

“Getting you naked?” She questioned. “It’s been days and I miss you. I want to have sex.”

“Don’t think that’s such a good idea.” 

“Why not? I’m dying here. We’ve been here over a week and you’ve barely touched me. I always end up falling asleep before anything can happen and I’m awake now.” Daryl muttered and mumbled, she couldn’t quite tell but it seemed like he was blushing. Oh this was prime. “You’re not getting shy are you. We’re plenty far away from everyone else and it’s not like Merle is sleeping in the truck anymore.”

“Other people ain’t the problem.”

“Please don’t tell me you don’t want to have sex.”

“Never said that.” He grumbled. 

Trying to tempt him she rolled her hips against his. “What’s the problem then?”

Daryl squinted hard, glaring at her. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh you big baby,” He flinched and it dawned on her, “Is this about the baby?”

“Shut-up.”

Grace slid back so she could look at him better. “It is then. Go on. Explain yourself so we can sort this out.”

“Told you I don’t want to talk. Le’s just go to sleep.” He pushed past her to lie down. But she wasn’t letting him go that easily. She poked and prodded until he rolled over and grabbed her, pinning her arms to her side. “Ease off, woman. Told you we wasn’t talkin’ so jus’ go to sleep.” 

“Not this time. I’m not doing this anymore, Daryl. I told you we needed to work through our issues when we came up against them. No more running.”

“No.”

“Daryl.”

“Can’t you jus’ leave me be?” He’s begging now. 

“Honestly, whatever this is we need to work it out. I’m going to be pregnant for thirty-one more weeks and that’s WAY too long for me to go without sex.”

Daryl huffs and rolls back over. 

“If you’re worried about something then just say it.” Grace tries her best to guess. “Is it the thought of the baby scaring you? The commitment?”

“Look,” He turns to glare at her. “I told you I weren’t goin’ nowhere.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to. I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong. Is it me?”

“No!” There’s a wild look in his eyes.

“Well it’s gotta be something. The last time you told me no sex was after my mother’s funeral and that was because you didn’t want me to regret it. So what then? You want me to get the baby taken care of? I can do it. I told you. We’re early in.”

“I jus’ don’t wanna hurt you.” He blurts. The frown lines on his face are deep. “Or the kid.”

That breaks her heart. Maybe it’s hormones but Daryl being scared of sex because he might hurt the baby makes her all fluttery inside. She says his name softly and he turns away, blushing for sure this time. Grace snuggles up against him and repeats it, tracing the line of his spine through his shirt until he rolls to face her. Slowly she kisses him, tugging her shirt off in between her assaults. “You can’t hurt the baby. Swear to on my college degree. There’s all sorts of stuff that protect it from stuff happening during sex. I won’t get into it now because it’ll ruin the mood.” Working her fingers under his shirt to get to his belt, Grace pulls the leather through the loops on his jeans. 

“What about you?”

She kisses him to keep him quiet. That she doesn’t have an answer too. Hurt is such an abstract concept.


	11. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Grace wakes up the next morning to tentative fingers across her stomach. Her shirt has either ridden or been pushed up and she’s sprawled out on her back. Daryl leans over her tracing the slight dip below her rib cage. Blinking sleepily she grins at him, “What are you doing?”

“Sorry.” He murmurs. “Didn’t mean to wake you.” Palm flat, he spreads his fingers across the width of her stomach, seemingly trying to touch as much skin at once. 

“It’s alright. Should probably get up anyway.”

“We got time.” He says slowly, still petting her. 

She pushes her stomach up against his hand, making it round. He grins. “You better enjoy my tummy while you can, Daryl. Pretty soon I’ll be watermelon girl.” She sucks her tummy back in.

Daryl’s hand follows her skin’s decent and he rolls to brace himself above her. Leaning down, he captures her mouth with his. “Having too much fun picturin’ you big.”

“I’d rather not start showing for a while.”

He shrugs and traces his finger down the centre of her chest stopping just above her belly button. “I can tell, you know. Ain’t much but now that I’m lookin’ for it I can tell.” That one gets to her a little and she sucks her stomach in hard. Daryl smirks. “Relax it ain’t much. Just right here.” His fingers splay out again.

“It’s bloating.”

“Nah that’s my kid in there. Good tough genes I’m tellin’ you.”

“Better not take after you too much. You’ve got fucking wide shoulders, Dare. Last thing I’d want is to push out a little linebacker.” She pushes against him a little, “Alright, up. I gotta pee.” She pulls her shirt down again and runs her fingers through her hair. She doesn’t need to go out there looking like some kind of crazy person. A wash up wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Lori was afraid she’d start lifting laundry and exhaust herself again so she hadn’t been allowed anywhere near the water. She’s tired of resting though; wants to get back to being a productive member of society or whatever. 

“Grace,” he says quietly as she’s about to let herself out of the truck. 

“Yeah?” She turns back to him.

Daryl gives himself a bit of a shake, “nothin’.” He mumbles. “Jus’ gimme a second and I’ll come with ya.” 

Her lips quirk up. He’s worried about her but he won’t say anything. It’s sweet.

\---

There’s an immediate panic when she sees the rust stain in her underwear. She’s no expert when it comes to pregnancy (it was pretty much her job to refer patients to someone that could better treat them) but she knows that there are number of things that could be wrong or it could be perfectly normal. For the next ten minutes she has to remind herself to breathe for fear she’s going to stop doing something so perfectly basic. 

When she goes check a couple of hours later there’s no signs of anything else wrong and she lets out a sigh of relief. 

Less than twenty-four hours later it’s back.

\---

The next three days are bitter. With every step Grace can feel the weight of the child inside her. She catches herself thinking of the possibility that something may happen. That something may go wrong. 

For someone who razed Daryl about speaking his mind, she doesn’t tell a soul what the problem is. When Daryl asks she lies and tells him that she’s too tired or nauseous for sex. She feels like a failure like this spotting is a sign she’s doing everything wrong. Suddenly Grace is grateful for the extra attention Lori pays to her, the little bit of mothering. Every extra nap is resting her body for the baby. Every sip of water cleans the crap she’s poured down her throat. Every mouthful is a little more nourishment. The only thing she wants is to find a doctor who can explain to her what’s happening. 

As suddenly as it started though, it’s gone. 

She reminds herself that women spot all the time and it’s perfectly normal. Honestly she has nothing to worry about. She’s in good health and, other than the end of the world thing, she’s actually in pretty good hands. After rather long inner monologue pep talk, she decides it’s best to just put this behind her. Someday it will be a good story to tell. 

\---

Daryl leaves early in the morning and promises to return before late afternoon. He’s still not comfortable with too much public affection but they say their proper goodbyes in the truck before going out to face the rest of the camp. The longer he spends in the woods the fewer sleeves he comes back with. She’s not sure what he does with them or where they end up but he always comes back with the sleeves cut off. Part of her is grateful, it’s less laundry for her to do. He keeps the scraps in an old Walmart bag in the back of the truck next to his dirty laundry. 

Shane has commandeered a Jeep from someone and they fill the back of it with laundry. The women all walk down to the water easily with less weight to carry. Shane’s a good guy. Lori is still grieving for her husband and it’s good to see Carl with a male role model. Grace can tell Shane loves the little boy. Hell, he gets on well with all the kids. As the women work, Shane takes the kids for a swim just a short way further down the shore. Sophia is reluctant at first but eventually he convinces her to walk in just up to her knees and soon she’s splashing as much as the other three.

It makes things easier to see the children happy and playing again. 

When the clothes are thoroughly scrubbed and soaked they’re loaded back into the Jeep and everyone walks up the hill. Shane drives the clothes back to camp with Carl riding shotgun and Louis sitting on the pile of wet fabric after promising Miranda that he’ll hold on tightly the whole ride.

“Don’t worry,” Shane grins. “I’ll drive slow. Wouldn’t want to lose someone!” He ruffles the boy’s hair before hopping in himself and, true to his word, driving slowly back to camp. Eliza and Sophia run a short ways after the Jeep, stopping when it’s gone too far for them to catch up but slowing to a walk just ahead of the group of women. 

“He’s such a big kid.” Andrea laughs. 

Lori nods sadly. “With everything that’s happened, it’s good for Carl to have someone to still rely on. I just can’t wait for this to all be over so we can properly deal with everything.”

Everyone falls silent. The longer they’re here the less likely it seems that there’s going to be a return to normalcy. Glenn had made a trip into the city just a day before and the hushed stories he told around the campfire after the children were safely tucked into bed were enough to give Grace nightmares. He’d come across abandoned military vehicles in the middle of the city on streets so filled with the walkers that he wasn’t comfortable investigating any more closely to see if there were weapons or anything else of use in them.

“I wish I knew what happened to my boyfriend.” Amy says softly, tears collecting in her eyelashes. “He’d laugh if he could see me now.”

“I guess he got his camping trip out of us after all.” Andrea rubs her sister’s shoulder. “The whole time we’re booking hotel rooms for our road trip, Mark was trying to convince us to rough it.”

“He was bound and determined to get me to sleep in a tent but other than fishing with Dad I’ve never been a big outdoors person and neither has Andrea. He seemed disappointed when we didn’t plan a single camping stop on the trip and now we’re having the biggest one of them all.”

“David takes us camping all summer but we always rent a cabin.” Miranda laughed. “He started it when we were dating. It took me years to get used to the idea of sleeping in a tent but we tried a few times once the kids were big enough.”

Lori nodded. “Rick and Carl would sleep out in the backyard. They’d make this huge fire and nearly set the lawn on fire making hotdogs and baked potatoes.”

“What about you and Daryl, Grace? He seems like the camping type.”

“Not really.” She shrugged, trying to picture Daryl planning a recreational camping trip. “They had the cabin and they’d go up there hunting but other than that he didn’t exactly take holidays.”

“Yeah I guess not.” Amy wrinkled her nose.

Grace elbowed her lightly in the side. “Okay we all know how you feel about him but there’s no need to make it so obvious. He’s a good guy.”

“I know.” The young blonde nodded quickly. “He’s just rough around the edges. He’s coming around pretty well but I don’t think he likes us much.”

“Nah, he’s just not big on groups and having people in his business.”

“It was sweet the way he was rubbing your stomach when he came back last night.”

“Amy!” Grace was shocked. Daryl had pulled her away from the group for a short walk down to the quarry and some alone time when he had gotten back the night before. Since admitting his reservations about intimacy with her while she was pregnant he was cautiously opening up to being more affectionate. It was a floodgate when it came to her stomach though, most mornings she woke-up to either find him staring at her, just watching her sleep, or him slowly stroking her tummy. It was a growing concern for her that he was actually developing some sort of pregnancy kink.

“No it’s cute. He drags you off like some kind of caveman but it’s just to pet your stomach. Never would have thought of him as the doting father type.”

And there, it was out. The thing she’d been hoping to avoid being camp gossip was out. Andrea smacked her sister. 

“Way to go, moron.”

“Crap!” Amy’s eyes went wide and she looked immediately embarrassed. “Sorry, Grace. I guess I shouldn’t have said anything. Andrea told me.”

“It’s fine.” Grace sighed. “It would have come out eventually. Can’t hide anything around here too long. Someone spills.” She smiles reassuringly at the other woman. “I was just hoping to wait until a little further along before everyone knew.

“How far along are you?” Carol asked. She was a sweet woman but her voice was usually timid and hidden by how big everyone else’s personalities were. Sometimes Grace forgot she was even there.

“Ten weeks.” Grace answered promptly. She’d spent enough hours pouring over that damn calendar to know that in almost perfect certainty. “Of course it’s hard to tell without an ultrasound.”

“How’s morning sickness?” Miranda asked. “I don’t know how you’re doing it out here. I could barely move some days without puking everywhere.”

“It’s not so bad really. Nothing worse than most of the hangovers I’ve had.” She shrugged. Most of her actual throwing-up was starting to get further and further between episodes. She always felt a little queasy around strong smells but knowing what it was she was actually pretty capable of handling it. “I’ve been spotting a little though and that scares the hell out of me.”

The mother of two nodded. “I thought I was going to bleed out sometimes with Louis. He was a fighter though.”

“Ugh! All this talk of pregnancy.” Andrea clutched her stomach. “No thank-you!”

“Professionally single.” Amy teased.

“Proud of it!” Andrea retorted. “God, I’d be the worst mom. I’ve got no maternal instinct.”

“You learn once you have them.” Lori smiled. “There are still things I’m trying to figure out with Carl.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Eliza and Sophia have decided now to tune into the conversation.

“Nothing. You go on and play.” Miranda laughs and shoos the little girls away. 

\---

“Grace? Are you sleeping?” Claire is at the back of the truck cab tapping lightly. 

Grace had been napping on and off for about half an hour. Lori had started fussing and Grace was sure something angry was going to slip out if she didn’t get away from the situation. Going to lie down seemed like the best way to get the other woman off her case. “Nah, I’m awake.” She sat up so the girl could see her. “Come on in.”

Claire dropped the tail gate and pulled herself up into the truck sitting down nervously at the end of the mattress. Grace looked over the young girl for a few minutes, wondering why she had come and now why she wasn’t talking. It was probably her upbringing but Claire was shy, very shy. Most of the time she hung to the edges of the group and just followed along. She was quick to offer help though and willing to do anything. It seemed like she felt indebted to the group but wasn’t quite sure where she fit in. Amy had taken a liking to her and seemed to be one of the only people to get the girl to open up. It made sense. She’d grown up around cousins and lots of people her own age but here she was the lone teenager. 

“What’s going on, Claire?” Grace asked. 

The teen jumped a little. She was more skittish than usual. Grace thought she got along with the girl fairly well and there wasn’t any reason for her to be terrified of anyone here except maybe Ed or Merle. “I just...” She reached up out of habit to tug on one of her long braids. Her hair was always braided in two thick braids. The only time Grace had ever seen it down was the couple of times the girl had gone down to the quarry with Grace for a wash-up and even then it went right back into the plaits as soon as they hit the water’s edge. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure.” Grace quite frankly didn’t care what Claire was going to ask her. It wasn’t like she had to hide anything anymore. Everyone knew about the baby. She was sure. Gossip tended to spread like wildfire around the camp once something was discovered. 

“It’s kinda... personal. Is that alright?”

Oh great. If she had to give this girl The Talk there were going to be troubles. Mind you, given her home life she was probably pretty poorly educated when it came to things like that. “I guess.” The more nervous Claire was acting the more Grace picked-up on it. 

“Okay, um, I was wondering, how, how, um how did you and Daryl get together?”

“What?” That one through Grace for a loop. Why the hell would she want to know about Grace and Daryl?

“Because he’s older than you right? And you knew each other when you were a teenager and how did you know he was The One?”

“WOAH! Slow down there, Claire. Where is all this coming from?”

Claire made a small whimpering sound and clutched her hands tightly together. “I just, I just was wondering. Did you always know?”

Slowly a thought came to Grace’s mind and she began to smile. “Alright, hon. Who is it?”

The young girl’s eyes go wide with fear. “Who’s what?”

“You’ve got a crush. Who is it?”

She shakes her head frantically. “No one. There’s no one. I was just asking. I...”

“Relax!” Grace tries to calm her. “You’re not in trouble or anything. Look whatever we say stays right between you and me. You don’t have to worry.”

Hanging her head, Claire blushed. “I never really talked about boys before.”

Grace sighed, she could remember how powerful her first few crushes had been. There wasn’t much in the way of people for Claire to crush on either and all were several years older than her. It would most likely be unreturned affection. Claire had admitted to being just barely fifteen. Jones and Andrew were both twenty-two and even Mike was twenty. There was at least several years age difference. “Let’s start with who it is.”

Completely a tomato now Claire mumbled, “Glenn.”

“Glenn?” That shocked the older woman right out of her thoughts as to where this conversation was going. Glenn was, if Grace remembered correctly, twenty-six and much closer to her age than Claire’s. That was an eleven year age difference. She knew statistically how those relationships worked out.

Claire nodded. “He’s nice.”

“Well yeah he’s a good guy but he’s a lot older than you, Claire.”

“That’s why I came to you!” Claire insisted. “Daryl’s older than you right? Amy was talking about it with her sister the other night. I thought you could help me. You said you’ve known him for years. You were younger when you guys met right?”

Guilt washed over her. There was no way that most relationships worked out like hers and Daryl’s had and given the situation it was even less likely. “We weren’t together when I was younger though.”

“But you liked each other?” Claire was hopeful for a good outcome.

“As friends. Look Daryl and I didn’t crush on each other. We were friends for years before anything happened and even then we weren’t together until years after that.”

“So it took a long time until you were attracted to each other?”

“Four years.” She didn’t want to say any more than that. What could she tell the girl? It was four years before we had a drunken week of unprotected sex and debauchery at his hunt camp and then we didn’t sleep together for another four years, only to develop a friends with benefits agreement? Yeah she wasn’t in any place to be giving this girl advice on relationships. 

“Oh.”

“I was almost sixteen when I met Daryl, we didn’t kiss until I was twenty and we weren’t together until I was twenty-five.” She knew, now more than ever, that deep down that they had been together for nearly three years. The second Daryl told her that he wasn’t sharing, he staked a claim in his own way even though both of them had been too stubborn or too scared to admit it. 

“Oh.” Claire repeated, looking broken-hearted.

It was better to be honest wasn’t it? Even if it hurt the girl because really a situation like hers didn’t usually end in anything other than tears. Grace wondered what would have happened if she developed a crush on Daryl instead of them building friendship. Would they have ended up where they were now? Probably not. He would have fled the moment he realized what was going on. The only reason they had managed to become friends is because he wasn’t threatened by her; because she wasn’t one of the bar floozies and she wasn’t trying to get something from him. A crush would have ruined everything. 

Claire was sniffling now.

“Try being friends with him.” Grace offered unhelpfully. 

“I thought you’d understand.” The girl whispered almost inaudibly. 

She sighed and looked at the younger girl. “I understand better than you think. Everyone needs friends. If you really like him, it’ll work out in the end. If not then at least you have a friend.”

\---

Lori is accepting of Grace participating in calm and meaningless activity so long as it doesn’t seem like Grace is doing anything too productive. After Claire leaves Grace dozes on and off for a while before giving into her urge to find something to do and ends up reading another chapter of Watership Down to the kids. She tries to keep from reading too much at once because they only have so many books and most of them aren’t child friendly. She allows herself to play with the kids for a while afterward, listening to their stories and imaginings. 

Grace has never been much of a child person but she’s trying. 

Still when T-Dog waves her over she’s glad for a bit of an escape. She’ll need to build up to interacting with an entire gaggle of children for prolonged periods. 

T is standing by the side of the RV looking worried. He hasn’t really spoken to her much in the past and she can’t see what she would have done to upset him. Still she goes over because she’s curious about what he could want. He shushes her and pulls her further away from view which is a little unsettling. Stepping back out of his reach she questions, “What’s going on?”

“Do you know he’s using?”

Shocked the first thing out of her mouth is, “What?”

“I found Merle passed out in front of his tent this morning. Now I knew he wasn’t stable but I didn’t realize he was high. He always just vanishes off by himself all the time. I hadn’t paid much attention to him until now.”

Grace nods slowly, “Yeah I know he’s using. What’s it any of your business?”

T-Dog stops short looking at her confused. “I just, I just wanted to talk to you before telling anyone else.”

“Daryl and I handle Merle. I don’t see how it’s any of your concern. You’re right. He goes off by himself to get high. If he gets killed or hurt, that’s his problem. He’s a tough fucker. He can take care of himself.”

“Don’t you think people have a right to know some tweeker is running around the woods?”

“He’s not going to hurt anyone.” She sighed and shook her head. “Honestly it would be best if you just left it.” Grace turned to walk away from him but he called after her.

“Wait!” 

She turned back frowning. “What?”

“I was a counselor before all this happened.”

“Really, that’s just enlightening.”

“Used to work with at-risk youth. I could try talking to him.”

Grace snorted at the idea. “Look, I don’t think I should be the one to tell have to tell you this but you’re black and Merle isn’t exactly the most tactful person when it comes to race. Not to mention he’s not exactly an at-risk youth.”

“The man needs help.”

“We all need help, T. Merle’s not exactly the kind of man to accept it.” She shrugged. “It’s just how the world works.”

“Well if you want some I can try.”

“Good to know.”

After the encounter with T-Dog, Grace watched Merle more closely. She wanted to know if his drug use was becoming more obvious or if T-Dog was only aware because he knew the signs of it. Part of her felt guilty that she hadn’t told anyone. Another part of her wanted to defend Merle though. It was none of anyone’s fucking business. He wasn’t really doing anyone any harm. Sure he was rowdy every once and a while but mostly he just came back to camp and passed out in his tent. He was strangely sober all day, just lounging around camp and using a sling shot he had fashioned to try and hit squirrels.

She didn’t see any reason to worry.

\---

“Grace.”

She whined and pulled the covers over her head further. “No, five more minutes.”

“Lazy woman.” Daryl teased lightly. “I’m already up an’ dressed. You wanna come out and have somethin’ to eat with me ‘fore I leave or not.” That woke her up. She did want to see Daryl off after all. Every time he left she wondered if he would come back hurt, or worse, not at all. She stretched against the mattress, kicking off the blankets. Daryl smirked at her and crawled to hover over top of her. “Mornin’ sweetheart.”

“Morning.” She sighed, leaning up to catch his mouth. 

“Someone seems cheerful.”

“I wish we had some privacy.” She grinned. “I actually don’t feel sick at all. Such a waste of a good day.”

Daryl kissed her roughly and pulled back. “Merle’s already seen me. We’d never hear the end of it an’ I sure as shit don’t want him comin’ ‘round lookin’ for me if we take too long. Jus’ told him I was goin’ ta get you up. Put somethin’ decent on and come on out an’ sit with us. Tonight when I get back we’ll fuck if yer still up fer it.”

Grace’s smile grew even bigger. “I don’t even feel like sleeping tonight. Just you and me all night.”

“It’s a plan.” He hauled himself backwards. “Come on. Le’s get you something to eat if yer feelin’ so good.”

A couple of other people were up already and the rest of the camp was slowly stirring to life. They ate a small breakfast and just sat quietly together on a log beside one of the camp fires. Grace couldn’t help but smile. Daryl was sitting closer to her than he had in a very long time. Usually the only time they were this close in public is when everyone had to squeeze into booths at the bar because they had too many people at one table. He was a steady weight beside her, his leg pressed firmly against hers. She didn’t want to make more of it than it was but the closeness was a great sign of progress.

Finally as more people began to gather around the fire pits to share the meager food they had, Daryl hauled himself to his feet. “Gonna head out.” He shuffled from foot to foot. 

Grace stood as well. “Alright. I’ll walk you to the trees.”

The two walked beside each other until they reached the edge of the forest. Grace found herself getting closer and closer to tears. She was a damn emotional wreck. It almost killed her to let him go like this every day.

“No funny business while I’m gone, you hear.” He brushed back a strand of her hair. She nodded back at him.

“You neither.” Her voice was rough.

Daryl stared at her for a second before groaning, “Ah, Carter.” And pulling her into his chest. Her hands balled in his shirt and she clung to him. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Don’t miss me too much.”

“Please be safe.” She sniffled.

Seemingly without a second thought for their audience he leaned down and kissed her, cupping her cheek and cradling her. The kiss was short and tender. He pulled back quickly and rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t worry. I ain’t leavin’ you alone.”

\---

By lunch time Grace feels unsettled. That’s the only word she can use to describe it. She feels as if something is just wrong. They’ve decided to string together cans to surround the camp with and make a sort of sound barrier in case anything tries to sneak up on them. 

“You’ve got to put two cans close together.” Andrea reminds her sister. “If they can’t touch how are they supposed to make noise? Two cans, then about a foot of string and then two more.”

Amy frowned and clanked the cans together she had already strung into place. “Will this even wake us up if we’re sleeping?”

“I don’t sleep very heavily anymore.” Grace shrugged.

The older blonde looked her over carefully for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just off today. I’ve got a bad feeling. Maybe it’s being here so long.”

“Are you worried about Daryl? He’s never had any trouble before. He says there’s less of a chance of him meeting some of those things than us because he goes so much further into the woods.”

“He’ll be fine.” Amy added.

“I dunno.” She just couldn’t shake the feeling of doom. “I think I’m going to walk down to the quarry to keep my mind off things. Wanna come?”

“I’m starting to go cross-eyed poking holes in cans.” Amy grinned. “We could use a break. Come back in a bit and keep going.”

Reluctantly Andrea agreed that it would be best if the women took a short break and got down to the water before it got too late in the afternoon and the sun was too hot for a long walk. They called up to Shane on top of the RV who was on guard duty and told him where they were going. Andrea took one of the small guns and tucked it into the waistband of her jeans. Grace had her own tucked away below her shirt. It had become such a habit she didn’t need to think about it anymore. The women walked the long path down to the water and then started to circle around the quarry. When they got to the flat beach area where they washed clothes, Amy took off her shoes and wadded out into the water up to her knees.

“Thank god for shorts!” She laughed, her cut offs well above the waterline. 

Grace sat down heavily on a large rock. Something wasn’t right. Like really wasn’t right. There was more then, just a sense of wrongness now. Grace knew for sure something terrible was happening. Her hands flew to her stomach as she felt the first tightness of cramping. 

Andrea had followed Amy into the water but not as deeply. She had her jeans rolled into cuffs. The two joked happily for a few moments before noticing Grace hadn’t followed them. “Hey Grace,” The older sister turned to her friend, “Why don’t you come into the water with us?” She caught sight of Grace’s pale face and took a step toward the shore. “Grace?”

Grace grunted in response.

“Grace, are you alright?”

Grace was clenching her teeth now. “No.” She gritted out. “Something’s really wrong.”

The sisters were out of the water in a flash to check on her as best they could. “We’ve gotta get back to camp.” Amy said. “Someone will know what to do.”

Grace took a deep breath as the wave of pain passed for the time being. “I don’t think I can walk like this. My stomach was weird on the way down but I thought it was just nerves.”

“Is something wrong with the baby?” Andrea asked only to be shot down by a dark look from Grace.

Grace looked at the two sisters. “Someone’s needs to go up to camp and get a car down here. I’m not going to make it unless someone carries me and neither of you are strong enough.”

“I’ll go.” The older sister volunteered. “Stay right by her.” She instructed Amy and the other girl nodded back seriously. Andrea hurried away sprinting across the gravel beach and hitting the trees in record time. 

Amy stood by and wrung her hands. “What do I do?”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Grace was recognizing signs and though she hoped and prayed it wasn’t true, her limited experience with pregnancies told her that her worst fears were probably coming true. “Damn it! Should never have gone on this walk.”

“I’m sorry.” Amy whimpered.

“It’s not your fault.” Grace stopped speaking as her insides contracted again. When she could finally talk about she exhaled and said, “Tell me stories from college. It’ll keep my mind off things.”

“What do you want to hear about?”

“The wildest night you had.”

Amy wracked her brain for something that would distract Grace from whatever was happening. 

\---

Merle was walking in the trees when he caught the sound of voices. Now who would be all the way down here, he wondered going to the tree line to catch sight of the people. Grace and one of the blonde chicks were talking together. All of a sudden Grace grabbed her stomach and winced. Merle burst out of the trees. 

“The hell is goin’ on!”

Grace turned toward the shouting and was almost relieved to see Daryl’s brother standing there. “Merle.” She exhaled.

“The fuck is wrong with you, Carter?”

She didn’t know how much exactly she was willing to tell Merle. He wasn’t exactly the most sympathetic person. “I’ll be fine, Merle.”

“Sure as shit don’t look like it.” She watched as slowly the cogs in his mind started turning. “The baby?” He asked slowly and she nodded.

“Andrea went back to camp to get help.” Amy paced. “She’ll be back soon. We don’t need your help or anything.”

“Sure you don’t. Do you really think I’m gonna hurt on Gracie or somethin’?” Merle snorted. “Faster we get you up to camp the better, right?” He turned to Grace now, ignoring the panicked look on the young blonde’s face.

Grace nodded again and rubbed her hand against her stomach. “I think I can walk a little while now.” She tried desperately to stagger to her feet and Merle reached out to catch her with one arm. 

“The hell if I’m lettin’ you walk up there.” Merle lifted her into his arms with ease. More gently than Grace ever thought he could be, he adjusted her. “You comfy?”

“Not really.”

“Eh, suck it up.” He shrugged and started toward the path as sure footed as she’d ever seen him. “You comin’ or what?” he tossed over his shoulder to Amy and she scrambled to catch up with them.

Merle carried her steadily through the trees, never once faltering and not making any small talk. When she began wincing again he slowed and let her catch her breath before carrying on. It wasn’t long before Shane and Andrea came speeding along the road toward them, the tires stopping just in front of the mismatched pair. 

“What are you doing with her?” Shane approached cautiously. 

“What does it look like, you dumb fuck?” Merle grunted. 

The officer grimaced. “Look, I brought the Jeep. You don’t have to carry her now. We’ll take her back up to camp.”

The older Dixon pushed past him and kept walking. 

“Listen, man.” Shane called. “She’s not your problem.”

“You really are stupid, ain’tcha?” Merle held Grace a little tighter. “I know you got a habit uh pickin’ up other men’s women when they ain’t here but le’s get a few things straight. She might chum around with you an’ what not but she ain’t yer problem neither.”

“It’s alright.” Grace whispered.

“No it ain’t. Daryl’s gonna be upset enough that somethin’ happenin’ to ya. I owe it to my brother to take care of ya bes’ I can.” 

And stubbornly he walked all the way back to the camp. 

\---

Carol knocked lightly on the side of the truck. Though Merle had brought her back to camp he fled when he realized what exactly was going on. He hadn’t made any attempt to speak with her since bringing her back. He’d basically passed off her care to the rest of the women. It seemed that the only person he was distrustful of was Shane or maybe it was because he expected a woman to be able to handle the situation better.

“How are you doing?” The short haired woman asked and then seemed to regret it. “Sorry, that was a stupid question.”

“Cramping isn’t so bad right now.”

“It’ll come and go.” Carol nodded. “I brought what towels we could get together.”

Grace choked back a sob. “Everyone fuckin’ knows don’t they.”

The older woman nodded sadly and sat down at the end of the tailgate. “It’s hard to keep anything a secret around here.” They lapsed into silence. Really what was there to talk about? Carol would say she was sorry and Grace could nod along but there was nothing they could do. There were no doctors and no hospital to take her too. “I had five.” Carol offered after what seemed to be forever. Her eyes were glistening and Grace could tell she was struggling. “After Sophia. We tried so many times and then I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing another one.”

“Did you,” Grace struggled with the best way to approach the topic and found no pleasant way. “Did you ever do it like this?”

“In a forest.” Carol tried to lighten the mood. “No.” She sighed. “Most of mine happened at home, though. The first three. After that my doctor insisted on medical intervention and testing. 

“I don’t want to do it without hospitals and doctors.”

“We don’t have any option.” Carol nibbled on her lower lip. “Do you have anything for the pain?”

“No. I’ve thought about asking Merle.”

“He’s beside himself out there. Doesn’t want anyone to know but he keeps pacing between the truck and the trees where Daryl normally comes back. I’ll talk to him if you like.”

She nodded. “It would probably be best to have something in case it gets worse. I don’t know how weak what he has is though. I don’t want to be loopy.”

“I’ll stay with you after if you want.”

After getting Grace the pain killers, Carol sat and talked with Grace for the next three hours. The other women seemed to pull back, especially Andrea but Miranda stopped by with a hot water bottle they had in their car and Lori offered to boil some water in the hopes that heat might help a little bit. 

\---

Grace heard Daryl greet the camp with his usual hollering for her and Merle. She wasn’t sure who quieted him but she thought she heard Merle’s voice soon after. The panic in Daryl’s tone afterward shocked her.

“Where is she?!” He bellowed and everyone in the truck flinched. “Grace?” The sound of approaching feet on the hard packed dirt of the yard echoed. Everything around camp had gone quiet it seemed. When he got to the back of the truck, Daryl looked wild. His eyes were hauntingly bright and he was a bundle of nervous energy. “Grace?”

“I’m alright, Daryl.”

“No you ain’t. Just. FUCK!” He slammed the crossbow off his shoulder and into the dirt. “Everyone needs to go. Jesus Christ. Just go! NOW!” He reached to yank Lori from the truck and she jumped out of his reach. 

Grace sat up as quickly as she could. “Daryl, stop it.” He froze mid-swing and his face crumpled. The three women scattered as quickly as possible as Daryl crawled into the truck careful to avoid jostling Grace as much as possible. He seemed as though he wanted to get closer but wasn’t sure what he was allowed to do. She waited until their audience had left before she offered him her open arms. Daryl yanked her to him far too roughly and Grace flinched, glad that she had expected it to happen and prepared herself. 

“I can’t lose you.” He grunted into her hair, cradling her body. 

\---

They moved the truck away from the rest of the camp. Grace was tired of the stares and wanted privacy more than anything. Though Carol visited several times with to replace towels and take away the old ones or to bring food, Grace and Daryl were alone for the majority of the next two days. She tried her best to be careful with Merle’s overly powerful medications but sometimes she found herself losing total focus. She slept fitfully between squatting over hole that Daryl had dug for her use and laying with hot towels and the hot water bottle, which only brought limited relief. She could always tell when another wave of cramps would turn into full fledged contractions and she would pass tissue. 

The entire experience seemed to terrify Daryl more than anything. When Grace could bear it, he clung to her desperately, whispering nonsense and promises. 

The process seemed never ending. The early in the morning of the third day Grace woke with the contractions more powerful than any of the previous ones. She moaned and Daryl was up immediately, demanding to know if she was alright and begging to know what he could do to help her. Accepting his help out of the truck, they staggered together toward the squatting hole. As the contractions grew Grace found herself wishing she hadn’t been so careful with the medication. 

She knew the second the fetus had passed because the pressure was instantly relieved. It was a few minutes before she regained enough rational thought to move though. 

“Bury the hole.” She turned to Daryl, her eyes stinging.

He looked at her questioningly. “Why? What’s goin’ on?” She tripped over her own feet in her effort to get back to the truck and he caught her. “Grace?” He whispered, obviously worried. 

“Bury it, Daryl. I can’t look at it.”

\---

When she woke-up, Grace felt empty. Her head was light and her entire body felt like it would float away if she didn’t focus on keeping it tethered down. Daryl’s arms around her helped. He stirred against her, snapping to attention when he realized that she was awake. 

“Are you...?”

“I’m alright for now. Sore.”

“I’ll go see if there’s hot water for the bottle.”

When he left her alone, Grace finally allowed herself to cry, sobbing into the first pillow she managed to get a hold of. When Daryl returned with the hot water bottle he presented it to her without any words and pulled her against him. She couldn’t be sure but she thought Daryl might have been crying as well.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Daryl leaned over Grace and kissed her cheek. “I’m gonna go have a smoke alright.”

Grace nodded and curled back in on herself. She felt even more withdrawn than ever. It had been days since she’d last seen anyone except Daryl. The other women had tried to come by for visits but she just didn’t feel like being social at all. It was hard enough being around herself. When she closed her eyes she never slept long and it had been almost a week since her last bath. She wasn’t sure how Daryl tolerated her. 

Outside she heard voices.

It wasn’t uncommon for someone to be keeping an eye out for them and attempt to get information out of Daryl. 

“Told you she ain’t gonna talk to nobody.” He sounded angry, but Grace heard the hint of distress under his voice. “She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

She couldn’t hear what the other voice was saying and she assumed it was Carol. The older woman had been by several times but luckily Daryl hadn't let her any closer to the truck than she was now. When Lori came by she was far more aggressive and usually got right up to the cab before being persuaded to leave or get backhanded. Miranda was quiet but nowhere near as quiet as Carol. Grace could usually at least pick-up a little of what she was saying. 

“Don’t think that’ll work.”

Grace rolled back over. She didn’t want to hear whatever plan Carol had come up with to convince Daryl that she needed to talk to someone. Daryl was smart enough to know that she was far too stubborn to give in easily and he didn’t like anyone enough to let them close to Grace. She must have drifted off again while Daryl was outside because she woke to the sounds of a vehicle pulling up next to the truck. Rubbing her eyes she struggled to pull herself up when Daryl dropped the tailgate with no warning. 

“Out.” He grunted.

Grace’s eyes went wide. What the hell was going on?

“I’ll come in a get you if I gotta.” The expression on his face was determined; she was going to come out of the truck even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming the whole way.

She blinked up at him, “What?”

“We’re gonna go get you cleaned up. Now come on ‘cause I’d sure as shit rather you do this willin’ly.”

When she finally got over the shock enough to speak, Grace’s voice trembled with the effort. “I don’t, I don’t want to go anywhere. Can’t I just stay put for a few more days?”

Daryl’s face softened. “Not this time, sweetheart.” He said resigned. “Can’t sit an’ wallow no more. Yer scaring people an’ they miss you or somethin’.”

“I don’t want to see anyone.” She insisted.

“I know. Carol wanted to take you down herself but I told her that I wasn’t plannin’ on lettin’ that happen any time soon. Gotta take you myself so they’ll get off our backs.” He shrugged. “They all promised to stay away long as I get you down there.”

“Can it wait?” 

“They’re plannin’ on sendin’ in the cavalry ‘less you start gettin’ out an’ about. There ain’t much we can do ‘bout it.” He held out his hand and she reluctantly slid to the end of the truck bed so he could help her down.

“I’m not happy with them.”

“Didn’t expect it.”

“And I’m not taking visitors.”

“Tha’s wut I said. This is the bes’ I could do.”

Shane had obviously loaned his Jeep for the cause of getting her down to the water and cleaned up because it sat idling beside the truck. “We’re not taking your truck?”

“Carol’s gonna change the beddin’ for us. That way you don’t gotta talk to her if you don’t wanna.”

“Oh.”

Daryl helped her up into the Jeep and then climbed into the driver’s side himself. There were fresh clothes already in the back and a few towels. Carol must have washed some of their things because it looked like Daryl had a clean change of clothes as well. The jeep bumped down the path and Grace leaned her head against the headrest. Daryl reached over and patted her shoulder. “I know.” He murmured and she rubbed her cheek against his hand. 

“I just...”

“Never said nothin’ ‘bout it, did I? You don’t gotta ‘splain yerself to me. It’s them that need this.”

He parked as close to the water as could then helped her slowly strip down, before he pulled his own clothes off and stood facing her in his boxers. This wasn’t their splashing fun from the cabin. There was no sexual undercurrent. It was purely practical. “You wanna get all the way wet?”

“Don’t want to risk infection. I’ll just stand and rinse off.”

There was a small bucket in the truck and he pulled the odds and ends out of it so it was usable. Then he helped her out into the water. “Ain’t so cold as the river.” He offered as much as he could. “Doesn’t move as much so the water’s got time to warm up.”

“I’m alright,” she insisted, though her knees were trembling. 

Daryl gave her a quick once over before dipping a wash cloth in the water. She moved to take it from him but he pushed her hand back down. “I got this.”

“I’m not a child.” Her voice sounded far too fragile to be believed and she was glad when Daryl ignored her. Carefully he wet her down before adding her body wash to the cloth and beginning the process of rinsing more than a week’s worth of sweat and grime. When her body was clean he tipped her head back and soaked her hair. A glob of shampoo applied with his hands and he carefully combed through the knots and tangles with his fingers, massaging her scalp as he went. The more he worked the more Grace felt the tension leaving her body. She had been wound so tightly the past few days she thought she would snap in two. 

Daryl kissed her cheek gently after he rinsed her hair and stripped out of his boxers to wash himself quickly as well. She watched him not knowing what to do. She wanted to joke, wanted to be back to normal and tease him about how Merle was sure to mock him about smelling like a girl. She wanted to think that Merle still would pick on them for bathing together. Hell, she’d give just about anything for them to be back at the cabin with Merle trying to spy on her tits. 

The shivers started in her fingers but soon spread to her entire body until she was trembling and hugging herself. Once more tears ran down her cheeks silently. Daryl went on without knowing, dunking his head to rinse the bubbles from his own hair. When he came back up, he shook the wet hair out of his eyes before catching sight of her. 

“Grace?” He asked, tone cautious and gentle so he wouldn’t startle her.

She whimpered in response and he stepped closer to her again. She collapsed against him, body heaving as she let out all her pent up emotions. Daryl simply stood and clutched her tightly to his chest. He didn’t say anything. He was at a complete loss for words Grace wasn’t displeased. She just needed him to hold her. Finally Grace was able to admit to herself that she wasn’t doing alright. Against his bare skin she sobbed out, “I want my baby.”

When she was finally out of breath and couldn’t cry any more, Daryl washed the tears off her face and brought her up to the Jeep. He handed her one towel and then helped her dry her hair but she pushed him away. “Go get yourself dressed. I’m alright.” She insisted. It was strange but since crying herself to sleep after finally delivering the fetus she hadn’t cried. She’d laid in bed and refused to talk to anyone, just letting the tension build. Before she was crying because she was sore and tired. She wasn’t admitting that it happened. This time the tears had brought the realization that she was grieving. Though it had taken her two months to admit that she was carrying it, once she did Grace had truly wanted this baby. She pictured nurseries and futures and Daryl and her walking with a little toddler swinging between them clutching Mommy and Daddy’s hands tightly. 

Still bleeding a little, but nowhere near as heavily, she found a box of pads that Carol had probably thought to add to their pile of things. The pants in with the clothes were not her own, a soft pair of light grey yoga pants. Grace would have to return them once she discovered who’s they were. Sliding the pants over her hips though she was grateful. When she’d bothered to put on pants at all she had been wearing the same heavy pair of sweat pants and they were uncomfortably dirty and worn. Getting washed up and into fresh clothes seemed to make a world of difference in her outlook. The bra and tank top were her own and she decided to just not wear an over shirt. She’d forgotten just how hot it was in the direct sun. Already she was sweating.

Daryl dressed quietly beside her, glancing over constantly as if waiting to rush to her aid again. She wanted to smile, to reassure him that it was fine and she simply had needed to take charge of something herself but she suddenly found herself exhausted again and didn’t have the energy to give him more than a quirk of her lips. 

As she gathered her disgusting clothes into a pile in the back of the jeep Daryl came up behind her and lightly wrapped his arms around her. He brushed her wet hair to one side and nuzzled her neck. “You sure you’re alright?” He whispered. “No one ‘spects you to be. Got plenty of time to sort yerself out.” His hands ghosted over her hips. Except for the washing, she hadn’t let him anywhere near her stomach since discovering the devastating news. The memory of Daryl telling her that he pictured her fully pregnant was too painful to dredge up. 

Reach down, she took each of his hands and brought them together in front of her to let him hug her. “I’ll get there. Can we go back to the truck now though?”

“Ready to lay down again?” She could feel the tension in his arms. 

Turning to face him, she pressed her lips against his as reassurance. “One more day.” Grace assured him. “I’ll try to do a little more tomorrow.”

When they got back to the truck, she insisted that Daryl go find Merle and take him out hunting for the afternoon. She’d noticed in the jeep that it was only ten in the morning. They had plenty of time to bring at least something small back and that could take some of the edge off the stress over food in camp. He made sure that she settled back into the truck and was comfortable before he left. With a couple of bottles of water nearby and the assurance that one of the girls would bring her lunch in a few hours, Daryl left, taking the last of the dirty laundry with him. 

Comfortable, exhausted and enjoying the smell of clean sheets, Grace drifted off almost before Daryl was gone. 

\---

“Grace? Grace?” The tiny voice whispered at the back of the truck.

“Shhh! She’s sleeping.”

“We should go back. My mommy is going to be mad at us for bothering her.”

“My mom said that Grace needs to rest. She’s sick.”

“What’s she got?”

“Shane wouldn’t tell me. I asked him. And Mom would say anything either.”

The group of children argued among themselves until finally Grace couldn’t pretend to sleep any longer. “Hey guys.” She sat up and crawled to the end of the truck, pushing the door open the rest of the way.

The four children stood at the back looking sheepish. 

“You’re in for it now.” Carl elbowed Sophia and the little girl looked scolded.

“It’s alright.” Grace tried to reassure them. “What are you guys doing here?”

It took some careful prodding but finally Eliza spoke up, “We missed you.”

“Can you read us the bunny book?” Her brother chimed in.

“I tried.” Sophia said shyly, Grace noticed that she was clutching the book tightly. “But I not very good at reading out loud and I don’t know all the big words.”

Grace thought about it for a moment. She wasn’t really tired anymore. Her short nap had apparently been enough to recover from her crying jag. It would be nice to have a bit of a distraction too. “Yeah,” She nodded slowly. “I can read it.” She dropped the tailgate and all four children clamoured into the back of the truck. The settled around Grace on the mattress and she was very happy that Carol had straighten it out while she replaced the bedding. It had gotten pretty messy in the days Grace had isolated herself there. 

Flipping through the pages, she found the place where her bookmark had been and began reading all four children fell quiet. As she turned the page for the first time, Grace noticed how relaxed she suddenly felt. 

\---

“Sophia Margaret Anne Peletier, I told you to leave Grace alone.” Sophia jumped underneath Grace’s arm where she was snuggled up and listening to Grace reading. Carol was standing at the back of the truck looking furious. “You were all supposed to stay in the RV and play quietly while we got lunch ready, were you not?” 

The four children looked down, ashamed at being caught.

“It’s alright, Carol.” Grace marked her place with her finger and smiled at the woman. “I think they were just what I needed actually. After that bath this morning.”

“You sure you’re alright?”

She sighed. “Getting there. I don’t know if I could face much more than the kids right now but I’m getting there.”

Carol nodded and then frowned at her daughter. “I don’t know who’s idea it was but I’ll be telling your parents that you didn’t listen instructions at all. Sophia is just lucky that it was me who showed up and not her father.

“Why don’t you four go get lunch and we’ll finish up the chapter after?” Grace suggested and the children all crawled out, thoroughly scolded. Carol helped them out one by one and sent them toward camp with direct instructions to not take any detours. 

Grace came out to sit on the tailgate. Carol sat down beside her and sighed. “They get into so much trouble. I don’t even know who was supposed to be watching them but with trying to figure out what’s happening with camp it’s almost impossible to keep track of them.”

She nodded at the other woman. “It must be hard and here I’ve been hiding away from everyone. I could have at least helped out.”

“NO!” Wide-eyed Carol almost shouted. “That’s ridiculous. No one blames you for not being there. We’re worried about you. I don’t pretend to understand medical anything but I know it can be dangerous. Infection and whatnot. What would we do out here if there were complications?”

That thought had crossed Grace’s mind several times since she first started spotting. There wasn’t really much that they could do. She was just lucky that nothing had gone wrong. The nearest hospital was in Atlanta and the last she had seen the city was being bombed. Glenn said that when he did runs into town, it looked like a war had happened. Other than the few people he’d brought back with him there were no survivors still in the city.

Carol must have realized that it probably wasn’t the best time to be saying something like that when Grace went completely silent. “Oh goodness!” The grey haired woman spluttered out. “I’m so sorry!”

“No, it’s fine.” She shook herself to clear her mind of unpleasant thoughts. There was no use dwelling on what might have happened or what might go wrong. “I’ve wondered the same things.” Grace admitted quietly. She stared down blankly at the bowl of beans in front of her. Changing the subject she added. “Good thing I sent out Daryl and Merle today. It’ll be nice to have some fresh meat.”

“Glenn says he found a department store and he’s thinking of taking a group into the city. He does so well getting in an out on his own.”

A trip into the city was probably needed. They were running low on supplies. As lucky as they were that they had water thanks to the quarry there was only so long they could go without eating. It was possible that there were things that they might be able eat in the forest but the only ones that would know about that were currently out hunting. Grace made a note to ask the brothers about finding food other than meat when they got back. 

\---

Grace woke suddenly with the feeling that someone was watching her. Daryl gave her a small smile from the back of the truck. When she smiled back he gave her a genuine smile and nodded toward the dog pile around her.

“I get replaced since I been gone?”

Louis had fallen asleep after finishing up lunch and as Grace read the other three had slowly drifted off as well. The children were so worked up over everything that had happened in the past few weeks they weren’t sleeping well at night. Whenever they got the chance to fall asleep comfortably, it was best to just leave them there. Grace was tired herself and she’d apparently fallen asleep with her own novel on her chest. 

“Hush up.” She stuck out her tongue and began to extract herself without waking up anyone. Daryl was sweaty and dirty but she wanted to be near him more than anything. While getting cleaned up had helped clear her mind so she could focus, the emptiness she felt was still a constant ache. 

Daryl accepted her embrace without surprise. It was as if he had known she would slowly work herself back to normal once she got going. “You wanna move back to camp now?” He questioned, nudging her with his cheek, clearly pleased to have her reasonably contented again. The tension in his shoulders was slowly melting away. Grace wondered how much tension she’d put on their fragile promise of commitment by leaning so heavily on him in the past few days. Still he’d stood by her.

“Not quite yet. I’m still tired all the time. That’s probably why I fell asleep with them.” She nodded toward the truck. “A few more days and the bleeding should be stopped. Hopefully I’ll get some of my strength back by then.”

He nodded seriously and she pushed him lightly. “Hey,” he grunted in protest.

“Lighten up, grumpy.” Grace insisted. “It’ll work itself out in the end.”

Daryl frowned deeply, his face wrinkled with worry lines. “You’ve got no idea, do you?”

She shook her head confused. Grace had thought that her slow returning to an alright state would be good enough to bring Daryl out of his slump as well. Apparently there was more going on than she realized. 

He didn’t look at her. Instead Daryl pushed his face into her neck, clutching her tightly to him. “Thought I was gonna lose you.” He mumbled, voice rough with emotion. A tremble ran through his shoulders, so slight that she wouldn’t have felt it if she hadn’t been pressed so closely too him. 

It was clear that the admission was tearing him up inside. Saying it out loud had made it as real as her admitting that she wanted the baby. Grace squeezed him back tightly as she could bare, clinging to him and hoping to remind him that she was honestly going to be alright. “I’m going to be fine.”

“Didn’t know someone could bleed out that much and not die. There was so much blood and you kept...” He trailed off into silence. 

She rubbed his shoulders, trying to loosen the knots. “I’m alright though.”

“I kept wakin’-up and thinkin’ you looked so pale you musta died when I was sleepin’.” He exhaled hard. “Then you weren’t talkin’ none and I wanted to think you were gonna snap outta it but it just kept goin’.”

Grace pulled his head away from her. His eyes were bright and shining. Clearly he was on the verge of breaking down. He rubbed angrily at his face, mad at himself for showing weakness and even more so for showing it in front of Grace so soon after her own breakdown. Gently she took his hands in her own and brought them to his sides. Then she leaned up and firmly pressed her closed lips against his mouth. Daryl jumped at the action, seeming to be startled by it. 

After a moment he freed his hands from hers and grabbed her, tugging her up to his mouth and forcing his tongue past her teeth to get at her own. She let him be as rough with her as he needed to. He seemed to need to remind himself that she hadn’t died and was probably not at any risk of it at just that moment - aside from their current situation, of course. As his frantic movement slowed and he leaned back to rest his forehead against hers, Daryl panted hot breaths across her face. Grace breathed back, sharing his air. He leaned in quickly for another kiss and she smiled.

“Thank-you.” She whispered. “For not giving up on me.”

“I don’t want to ever get close to that again.”

“I didn’t exactly plan it.”

“I don’t want to have kids if tha’s what it’s gonna do to you.”

“We’ll have kids one day.” She reassured him, “When we’re both ready and want them. Not now though. In a while.”

Daryl simply gave her a little squeeze. 

“Grace?” A sleepy voice from the truck called out. More frantically it repeated. “Grace!”

Grace pulled herself from Daryl and hurried to check on who was getting up. Eliza was looking around wildly for an adult, clearly terrified to have woken-up alone. The first fat tear drops were rolling down her cheeks when Grace got to her. She pulled the little girl into her lap and brushed the hair off her face, reassuring her the whole time that she was alright and there was nothing to be scared of. The hunter hung back, unsure of what he was expected to do and uncomfortable. Grace looked at him over the top of Eliza’s head and shrugged. Realizing her attention was now required elsewhere Daryl made some excuse about going to make sure that Merle hadn’t started to hoard their hunt and left quickly.

\---

Grace wasn’t willing to rejoin the rest of camp for dinner that night and Carol seemed to realize that just visiting with the children had worn her out. She arrived with a dish for her and Daryl to split between the two of them. Merle had apparently stashed away his own food and taken some of the hunted meat for himself, which he was now refusing to share with the others. While Grace knew it made him seem like an asshole, she thought it was probably best if he didn’t spend time eating with the rest of the group. Then they’d really realize how much of an asshole he could really be.

Seeing as she was over the worst of the pain and mostly on the recovering end of things, she made a short trip to the camp Merle had set-up for himself to return his painkillers. She found him roasting a small mammal over his camp fire, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 

When he caught sight of her he pulled the smoke from his mouth and opened his arms for a hug. “There’s our girl. How’re ya doin’? Plannin’ on dying on us any time soon?”

“Not today, Merle.” She hung back. The very last thing she needed at this point was Merle getting too touchy feely. She’d hoped he would be less confrontational if she didn’t bring Daryl but it seemed the older Dixon was in too good a mood to not show off. “I brought these back to you.” Grace shook the orange prescription bottle at him. 

“Nah, you keep ‘em.” He dropped his arms in rejection and went back to poking the fire. 

“I really don’t need them anymore. Only used a few anyway. They’re pretty strong compared to what I’m used to.”

He smirked even bigger. “They’re goooood, ain’t they?” He took the bottle from the tips of her fingers and tucked it away in his pocket. 

“You need to tone it down a bit. People at camp aren’t going to want you around if you don’t stop getting high all the time. There are fucking kids here.”

“You gotta stop worryin’ ‘bout, Ol’ Merle. I got shit covered. Take care uh myself an’ no one can say I don’t.”

Grace glared at him. “Unless you pass out before you get into your tent or puke all over yourself. How exactly do you plan on redeeming yourself?”

“Gonna go in on their little trip to the city. Need someone who knows how ta handle a weapon and we both know I’m a good shot.”

“What about Shane?”

“The cop? He’s stayin’ here to sit on his ass an’ protect camp. Lazy motherfucker. Didn’t want me hangin’ around here sittin’ on top uh their RV.” Merle grinned. “I offered to stay here but they said if I was gonna help out they’d rather me in the city. Guess yer right an’ they don’t trust me. Whatever. Gonna see what I can get ta help me while I’m there. Win-win all around.”

“No.” Grace snarled. “No fucking way am I letting you go into town with them.” 

Merle looked shocked. “Why exactly not?” He slurred. “Gracie Carter don’t trust me ta come back?”

“Gracie Carter doesn’t trust you not to get someone killed because you want to go looking for a fix.”

“Can’t stop me.”

It was true. There was nothing she could do to stop him. Her dislike for the man pooled in her stomach. These people had been good to them and Merle was going to get them all fucking killed. After everything they’d been through, they really didn’t need his bullshit. She groaned with frustration, reining in her urge to slap Merle and stormed away.

“That’s right, girly. Walk away!” He shouted after her. Grace simply raised her hand over her head and flipped him off as she left.

\---

“How’re you feeling this morning?” Andrea smiled over the bucket of water she was hauling up to the truck. Grace was already up and about tidying up the mess that had gathered around their camp site.

“Better. I think the worst is pretty much over with now.” She’d been visiting the main camp for the past few days but hadn’t been quite ready to move back yet. She needed more time to rest on her own and there were always too many people around for her to feel comfortable. It had already been almost two weeks though and the bleeding had stopped the day before. Grace was still tired but she knew that she wanted to move back to the main camp. It wasn’t exactly safe being this far away from everyone else. She still wanted her privacy but it was only a matter of time before she wanted human contact more. 

Andrea nodded. “Planning on coming in for breakfast? There isn’t much but we’re all sharing.”

“Daryl and I ate before he left. Merle was up early and banging around the camp so I’ve been up a while.”

“You know I didn’t think I’d ever say it but I’m glad we ran into you guys. Daryl’s useful.”

“That he is.” Grace laughed. “Merle was can get rid of though.”

“Have you asked Daryl about moving the truck?”

“I’m going to mention it to him tonight. Maybe we can do it tomorrow or the day after.”

Andrea nodded excitedly. “Better make it tomorrow. The group’s going into the city the day after.”

Grace turned and stared at the other woman wide-eyed. “What?”

“Yeah. Glenn’s doing a quick run today to scout ahead and then we’re going into the city.”

“Who’s going?”

“Glenn, Morales, T-Dog, Jacquie, Me and Merle.”

“Why Jacquie?”

“She’s from Atlanta. Knows the city. We could use someone who knows it well.” The blonde shrugged. “Shouldn’t you be asking why Merle?”

“Already had that fight with him. Thought maybe you’d all given up on the idea and I wouldn’t have to worry about him.”

“He sure is a piece of work isn’t he?” The blonde grumbled, “I wish it was anyone but him but we need someone who can handle a gun. I’ve got the one my dad gave me but I don’t understand the mechanics of it.”

Grace patted her own weapon. “The closer they get, the less you have to understand it.” She jumped off the tailgate. “Come on, I feel like going to see the camp. I’m useless out here and starting to get cabin fever.”

“Ohhhh.” The sigh that slipped from Andrea’s mouth was pure pain. “I miss that stupid cabin. Four walls around us would be heaven.”

\---

“Hey shithead! You bring me somethin’ good?” Merle’s voice echoed across the camp and everyone turned to look where he was pointing. Daryl stepped out of the trees, crossbow slung over one shoulder and a string of animals along his belt.

“Nothing but squirrel today. Whole damn forest’s emptyin’ out. Feedin’ all these bastards.”

“Watch it.” Shane growled, standing quickly. 

Daryl glared at him. “I don’t see you huntin’. What exactly d’you spend all day doin’ here?”

“Protecting these people. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” The officer smirked. “You dragged yourself so far away from camp I’m surprised you bring us anything at all.”

“Shane.” Lori warned quietly. 

Grace was on her feet before she could stop herself. “Listen here, you asshole. Daryl wasn’t exactly on a vacation these past few days.”

“Shit, Grace.” Shane’s face dropped immediately. “I’m sorry. I didn’t...”

“I know you didn’t.” Her tone softened. “Just leave it. I know you’re frustrated but we can’t take it out on each other. We’ve got to stand united on this. Daryl goes out and gets food but that’s just as important as you staying here and hauling water or keeping watch on the RV.”

Shane nodded and wiped the sweat off his face. “Listen man,” He turned to Daryl.

Daryl snorted. “Kiss my ass.” He stormed off, nudging Merle to go follow him. The older Dixon winked at the group and swaggered off behind his brother. 

The officer caught Grace’s glare and shrugged. “Ain’t my fault he won’t listen.”

“It sure is your fault that you can’t keep your temper.” She frowned and shook her head at him before going after the Dixon brothers.

Daryl was alone with an oversized brown squirrel split open in front of him when she got to the truck. “Hey.” She looked down at him and smiled. “Glad you’re back.”

“Told you I would be, didn’t I?” he dropped whatever he’d just cut off the animal into the bowl beside him.

“Yeah but some things are out of your control. Where’s Merle?”

“Went to get his kit from his tent. Told him I’d start up without him.”

Grace frowned. “Can I get a hello then?”

Daryl held his straight face for a moment longer before giving her a flirty smile. “You want a hello, huh?” He stood and rubbed his hands off on his pants.

She smiled back. “I missed you. It’s getting late.” She snuggled up into him, claiming his mouth hungrily. After everything that had happened she just wanted to be normal; to forget that they’d ever come close to having a child, to forget the future she’d imagined. 

“Found deer tracks. Think there might be one hiding ‘round here somewhere. I get that an’ we got meat for a while.”

Pressing herself closer to him at the thought of Daryl leaving again so soon, Grace whispered, “When are you going to try for it?”

“I’d have to track it. Could be an overnight trip.” She whimpered and Daryl kissed her quickly, “Hey, hey. I’m not goin’ jus’ yet.”

“Where we goin’?” Merle chuckled from the edge of the clearing. “You comin’ into the city with me?”

“You shouldn’t be going at all.” Grace insisted as, for once, Daryl didn’t let her go the second his brother was in the picture. 

“There’s nothing you can do ta change my mind, sweet cheeks.” Merle leered. “Can’t stop me.”

“You’re gonna get someone killed if you go in there high. You’re hell on wheels when you’ve got something in your system.”

“So what? You want me to go sober?”

Daryl rubbed her arm when Grace didn’t respond right away. “Leave it, Grace.” He murmured to her. 

“No, Daryl. Not this time. This is people’s fucking lives!”

“How exactly are you plannin’ on stoppin’ him? Huh? You got some plan up yer sleeve.”

Grace mashed her bottom lip. “I’ll tell them. I’ll tell them all. Then you’ll have to answer to all of us. Do you think Shane will just accept that you’re using around Carl. He won’t let that go on around him.”

“You’d get him killed over them.” Daryl pushed her away. He was furious but Grace was just as angry.

“He’s not worth it. Not when he’s like this, Daryl. He’d be perfectly alright if we died just so he could get high. I won’t lose these people over his stupid fix.”

“You don’t think I can go clean?” Merle slurred. “You’re a piece uh work, you know that. It ain’t mattered none to you before and now you wanna boss me around!”

“I don’t care if you get high here. That’s your own fucking business. It’s dangerous in the city though and you’re reckless. If you want to go then you leave the drugs here.”

“With who? You?”

“Well, unless you’re turning them over to Shane, yeah. I’d probably be your best bet.”

“You’re fuckin’ serious?”

“I am.”

Merle whistled low and grinned. “Alright.” He slapped his leg and held out his hand for a shake. “No tellin’ what I’m gonna find it town so I’ll risk it.” 

He would? What? Grace narrowed her eyes, she was skeptical about this entire thing. She looked down at his hand warily. 

Even Daryl seemed shocked by his brother’s actions. “Yer just gonna let her take yer stash?”

“Come on, it’s Gracie. She ain’t gonna do nothin’ with it.”

“So you’re not fighting me on this?” Grace still wasn’t just going to take his word for it.

“Nah, don’t want to end up havin’ a fight over this with the whole damn group. I ain’t stupid. I’d get fuckin’ outnumbered. They don’t got the good sense to stay outta some people’s business. I turn my stash over before I leave and get it back when we come back?”

“That’s the deal.”

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

\---

Two days later Daryl left to go get his deer and the group was gathering together to send their friends into the city. Glenn’s trial run had gone by completely without a hitch and everyone was excited for the prospect of getting more supplies. Everything was running low. Grace hadn’t shared with the group that Daryl thought he would be able to bring in a deer. The thought of all that meat was too much expectation for the group to put on Daryl and he’d be devastated if he had to return without it. 

They were just about to leave and Grace still hadn’t seen Merle. She finally tracked him down to his tent and kicked at the metal pail outside to announce her presence. “Merle? You’ve gotta hand over the goods if you’re still planning on going.”

Merle climbed out of the tent and smiled hugely at Grace. “Sure thing, Gracie.” He held out the bag easily. Too easily. 

She stared him down, snatching it out of his hands roughly. “What did you do?”

“Nothin’.”

“You’re too happy to have done nothing. This had better be everything.”

“I ain’t got nothing on me. You got everything that’s left.” Merle lifted his shirt and spun around sarcastically. “I can lose the pants to if you wanna see the full package.” Grace stared into the bag trying to remember how much had been in it the last time she’d seen it. How much could someone use in a few weeks?

“That’s alright.” His pupils seemed a little large to her but she wasn’t close enough to see him very well. It could just be from laying in his dark tent instead of the bright sun. He was his usual lecherous self, so that wasn’t anything she could worry about. “I guess you’re good to go now.” She looked once more at the bag in her hand and nodded to him.

They loaded up the truck they were taking. It had enough room that they should be able to fit quite a bit of supplies into it. Almost everyone came out to see them off. As the truck pulled away, Grace was sure she saw Merle rubbing his nose.

\---

Grace was sitting with the kids and reading them the next chapter of Watership Down with Amy sitting nearby and listening in when Amy jumped to her feet. “Did you hear that?”

Grace looked over to where Amy was turned toward. The radio was crackling to life. A deep male voice came in over the airwaves. “Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on Highway 85. Anybody reads, please respond.”

The young blonde jumped to her feet and raced over to the log that the radio was sitting on. 

“Is that help?” Carl asked. “That’s Shane’s radio. Do you think it might be help?”

“I don’t know, Bud.” Grace scrunched up her face in concern. “They know enough to broadcast on the emergency channel but I don’t know what that means really. Could be that anyone would do that.”

“Why’s he going into the city?” Eliza wondered.

“Probably doesn’t know how dangerous it is.”

Louis blurted, “He’s going to die.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Grace quieted the children. They all started to get overly excited at the little boy’s comment.

“Hello. Hello? Can anybody hear my voice?”

“Yes, we can hear you.” Amy tried. “You’re coming through.”

“If anybody reads, please respond.”

“Why isn’t he answering?” Carl wanted to know.

“Quiet for a second you guys. Give it a chance.” Grace assured them. “I’m sure he’ll be fine once the connection gets made.”

“Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on Highway 85.”

“We’re just outside the city. Hello. Hello?” Amy fiddled with the dials frantically. “He couldn’t hear me.”

Beside her Sophia sniffled. Grace put her arm around the girl. “It’s alright.” She whispered. “Don’t worry about him.”

“Try to raise him again.” Dale encouraged.

“Shane!” Grace shouted across the camp. “Can you help out over here?”

The officer jogged across the camp with an armload of wood dropping it by the fire. “What’s going on?”

“Are you there?” Amy tried to reach the man once again. She turned to Shane, “Someone’s heading into the city. He’s on the emergency channel. We’ve been trying to warn him but he can’t hear us.”

“Lemme give it a shot.” Shane squatted beside the radio and took the mouth piece from Amy. “Hello-hello, is the person who called still on the air?” Nothing came through but static. “This is Officer Shane Walsh broadcasting to person unknown, please respond.” Again there was no response. Shane put the radio down bitterly. “He’s gone.”

A deep sadness fell over the camp. “Well, there are others.” Lori stated hopefully. “It’s not just us.”

“We knew there would be.” Shane nodded. There had been no new people to the camp for two and a half weeks. It was starting to seem like their camp of survivors was the only living people left in the world. The officer patted the stump, “That’s why we left the CB on.” It was their last bit of hope that someone from the outside would contact them and they would be rescued. Somewhere there had to be some sense of civilization. The remains of the real world.

“A lot of good it’s been doing.” Lori glared. 

Shane turned away, “Okay.” He muttered sarcastically.

“And I’ve been saying for a week, we ought to put signs up on 85 and warn people away from the city.”

“Folks got no idea what they’re getting into.” Amy slumped beside the radio and sighed.

“Because the line of traffic stuck leaving town isn’t a good enough sign?” Grace shook her head. “We’ve got enough to do here.”

Shane looked gratefully at Grace, “We haven’t had the time.”

“I think we need to make time.”

“When Lori? In between crawling on our knees looking for mushrooms or cutting firewood so we don’t freeze at night?” Grace asked. She was almost angry that Lori would suggest something so stupid. 

“We’re surviving here.” The officer stood and brushed himself off. “We are day to day.”

Dale turned to Lori and added, “And who do you propose we send?”

“Half the damn group is gone. Shane and I are the only ones that can use guns.” Grace rolled her eyes. “I can’t make the trip and I’m practically useless with a firearm. I guess Shane should just start painting graffiti?”

“I’ll do it. By myself.” Lori insisted. “Give me a vehicle.”

“And you’ll drive it with what fuel?”

“Nobody goes anywhere alone. You know that.” Fingers messed Shane’s hair as he tried to diffuse the situation. 

Lori glared and snapped, “Yes, Sir.” Before stomping off toward her tent.

“Mom?” Carl stood unsure of where his mother was going.

“It’s alright, Carl.” Grace tried her best to settle herself back down and find her line on the page. 

“Grab a seat, Buddy.” Shane gave the boy a small smile. “You’re alright here with Grace. Just listen to the story.” He followed Lori without looking back.

The boy stood unsure of what was happening and Amy patted him on the shoulder. “Come listen so Grace can finish reading,” she tempted and eventually Carl sat back down, casting sidelong glances toward where Shane and his mother had disappeared. 

\---

“Would you listen to that thunder.” Grace stretched. She’d laid down for a short nap and while she slept the sky had begun to blacken. “It’s getting dark out.”

“They aren’t back.”

“They’ll be fine, Ams.” Grace gave the younger girl a squeeze. “Andrea brought your dad’s gun with her and Merle’s got his gun. Glenn’s done this plenty of times.”

Amy whined, “Then why haven’t we haven’t we heard from them?”

“Weather must be holding them up. It might be raining in the city.”

Suddenly above them the radio crackled to life, “Base camp, this is T-Dog. Anyone hear me?”

“See there they are. We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Dale climbed the RV to try and reach the radio before the city group’s next transmission. “Hello, hello. Reception is bad on this end. Repeat, repeat.”

“That’s them right?” Amy called up. “Are they coming back soon?”

“Shane... you...?”

“Is that them?” Lori repeated Amy’s earlier question. 

“We’re in some deep shit,” came T’s choppy voice over the CB. “We’re trapped in the department store.”

Everyone at camp perked up at that one. “Trapped? He said trapped right?” Amy grabbed Grace.

“Slow down.”

“Did he say they were trapped?”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” 

“He said they’re in the department store.” Lori looked at Shane pointedly.

Dale nodded in confirmation. “I heard that too.”

“No. No way. We don’t risk the rest of the group.”

“Shane!” The dark haired woman scolded.

Shane shook his head. “We can’t risk them.”

Amy’s voice was high and thin. “So what? We’re just going to leave them there? 

“Look, Amy, I know this is not easy but...”

Amy cut him off. “She volunteered to go. To help the rest of us.”

“She knew the risks, hon.” Grace gave the blonde a grim smile. “She wouldn’t want us to risk our lives to try and save her. They’ll find a way out. It’s better if we don’t get anyone else trapped.”

Amy looked around frantically. “We’ve got to do something!”

“See,” Shane tried to comfort the panic-stricken girl. “If she’s trapped, she’s gone. So we just have to deal with that. There’s nothing we can do.”

“She’s my sister, you son of a bitch.” Amy snarled.

“He’s right, Amy.” Grace tried.

“You’re just as bad as him. All you’ve got out there is Merle and no one gives a shit about him.” Amy stormed off.

“Well that could have gone better.” Grace rubbed her face. 

Lori made eye contact with Shane and nodded, then took off after the girl. “Amy!”

“Is Amy mad at you?” Carl asked. 

Grace nodded. “Yes, Carl, she is. I’d better go try and fix that.” 

Amy was crying against Lori when Grace found them. “I just...” She gasped. “She’s out there and those things.” A fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Amy, I’m sorry.” Grace tried. 

“I don’t want to hear it.” The blonde spat. “You’ve got nothing to say that I want to hear.”

“They’ll make it back.” She insisted once again. Trying to calm her friend. “Glenn always makes it back.”

“Yeah always. How long until his luck wears off?”

\---

The storm passed by camp without hitting them and the sky cleared up again. Amy sat by the RV and tried several times to get in contact with the group in Atlanta. Over and over she called out for them and each time there was no response. 

Grace sat by as her friend waited for news and tried to distract her as best she could. It would be getting dark soon though and they still had yet to hear anything. 

Then like a sign from God, a siren pierced the air.

Amy jumped to her feet immediately. “Do you hear that?”

“Yeah, is it them?”

“Is that them?” Amy shouted the question, projecting it to the larger group. “Is it them?”

“I can’t tell.” Dale answered from the top of the RV. “Stolen car is my guess.”

“So they stole a car? Makes sense.” Grace nodded, happy that their friends were returning. “Probably couldn’t get back to the truck.”

“Slow down.” Shane paced camp. “Might not be them. Can you tell, Dale?”

“Not from here.”

With the speed the car was racing they didn’t have to wait long. Glenn raced into camp hollering along with the still wailing car. In a flash he was out and bouncing around excitedly, clearly high on adrenaline. The group rushed him, Amy first in line demanding news.

Glenn struggled under the weight of the crowd. 

“Would you turn that damn thing off?” Dale shouted.

“I don’t know how!” Glenn grinned.

“Pop the hood!” Shane shouted. “Pop the hood.”

“Where are they?” Grace asked as Shane rummaged under the hood. The siren finally cut short bringing blissful quiet back to the mountain. “What are they driving?”

“They’ve got a cube van. They’re coming.”

As if on cue, the white truck pulled into the yard. Andrea jumped out almost before it had stopped moving. She ran toward her sister and threw her arms around the younger girl. The two stood crying together. Morales hugged his kids, scooping up Eliza and squeezing Louis into his side. When Miranda came close enough, he grabbed her too and pulled the four of them into a group hug. T and Jacquie walked around the group, collecting relieved hugs as well.

“You’re a welcome sight.” Dale laughed. 

Grace watched as Lori led Carl away, the boy getting upset at everyone’s happy reunions. It had to be difficult. Carl rarely talked about his dad but the pain was still pretty fresh.

“How did you get out of there anyway?” 

“New guy – he got us out.” Glenn shrugged.

“New guy?” The officer questioned.

Grace looked shocked. “How did you find someone in that mess?”

“Idiot got himself stuck in a tank. Rode a horse in to the city and met a whole herd of walkers.”

“You should meet him.” Morales laughed. “Hey Helicopter Boy. Come say hello.”

The man that Grace was expecting did not step out of the van. Instead of a filthy, half starved survivor, the man was clean and wearing a pressed sheriffs uniform. It was a little dusty but in no way could you tell that he’d survived, presumably, on his own.

“The guy’s a cop like you.” Morales was bragging but Shane wasn’t listening.

As the officer’s eyes met, Shane’s swelled to terrifying size. His entire face went slack with shocked. The other man’s mouth dropped open in a mirrored expression of surprise and confusion. They stared each other down in silence. 

It was Carl’s shout that broke the quiet. “Dad!” Lori reached to grab her son, clearly thinking that this apparition was her dead husband reanimated but Carl slipped from her fingers. “Dad!” He raced to the officer, who knelt to meet him and enveloped him in a powerful hug. Everyone but Grace seemed to be staring at this newcomer. The camp froze as the news hit them.

So this was Rick Grimes.

Grace didn’t have long to dwell on this reunion because her eyes were still straining for her pain in the ass. When no one else came out of the van Grace turned to Glenn who shook his head sadly.

“Where’s Merle?” She asked and Glenn looked away. Something dropped in her stomach and Grace suddenly realized just how much she worried about the man. She had thought that she didn’t want him going because he was a danger to the others. The thought that he wouldn’t return had never crossed her mind before. Wildly she looked around again but still the tank of a man did not come into sight. She turned back to Glenn, her voice breaking, “Where’s Merle?!”


	13. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Andrea was the first to step forward. She raised her hand toward Grace, reaching out to rest it on her shoulder. “Listen, Grace.”

“Where is he?”

“He didn’t come back with us.”

“Yeah I can see that.” She shrugged away Andrea’s hand. “Did he get attacked? You put him down right? He wouldn’t want to turn into one of those things.”

“May I ask who you are?” Rick pulled away from his family, arm still around Lori protectively. 

“Grace Carter, I’m his...” She paused. The first term that came to mind was sister-in-law but that wasn’t exactly accurate. She didn’t see anything like marriage in her near future. Finally she settled on the simplest explanation. “I’m with his brother Daryl.”

“Listen, I don’t know how you feel about the guy,” Rick started carefully. 

Grace froze and leveled her stare. “I’ve known him for eleven years. There’s not much you could say about Merle that would surprise me.”

“Merle was a danger to the group.”

She sighed, all the fight going out of her. This was exactly what she had hoped to avoid: Merle Dixon putting everyone at risk in order to pursue a greater purpose; namely: him getting his own way. “What did he do?”

“He pulled a gun on T.” Andrea whispered sadly. “Tried to take over the whole operation. He was out of control.”

“Sounds like Merle.”

“Rick just did what had to be done.”

“So you shot him?” She turned back to the newest member of their group needing to know that Merle at least hadn’t suffered unnecessarily. 

Rick took a step back, shocked. “No!” He insisted. “Nothing like that.”

“Rick tackled him and handcuffed him to this piece of metal.” Glenn scrunched up his face. “The man was unhinged.”

“He was high.” Grace corrected. 

The officer nodded, “I suspected as much. You were aware of this?” He bobbed his head at Grace before turning to the rest of the group. “Any the rest of you?”

“I knew.” T-Dog stepped up. “I didn’t realize it was as bad as this though. He hadn’t been any harm before. At least, not to anyone but himself.”

“But the rest of you were unaware?” Rick tried to confirm. The group nodded.

“It’s on me.” Grace inhaled through her nose, fighting back tears. “I tried to keep it a secret. I didn’t want you guys to think badly of Daryl because his brother was such a prick.”

“We already knew Merle was crazy.” Lori’s expression was serious and not at all reassuring. “Now we know why. You’re sure Daryl isn’t involved in this?”

Grace chuckled darkly. “Of course not! God, he hated the stuff. Anything stronger than alcohol, cigarettes and maybe a joint and he’d run the other way. He’s not Merle.”

“You should have at least told someone.” Amy added.

“What would it have changed? I took his stash. I guess he took something before he passed the bag over.” She shook her hair out of her eyes. “Did he die when you got swarmed? That must have been awful. Trapped like that.” Grace shivered.

“I chained the door shut.” T-Dog blurted suddenly. “The staircase is narrow. Maybe a dozen geeks could squeeze against it. But they won’t break it. Not that chain. Not that lock.”

“So he’s not dead?” The thought sent her mind reeling. Grace had already begun to mourn Merle internally. She hadn’t realized just how much she depended on him being there until suddenly he was ripped away from her. When she’d told Daryl that Merle was a sort of family to her, Grace couldn’t have known just how true that was. 

“He might not be.” T corrected. 

The thought of them leaving a man behind when he was still living made Grace’s blood boil. Even after everything that Merle had done to her that was sick. “Did you not think it might have been a good idea to unlock the handcuffs?”

T hung his head. “I tried. Listen to me, please, I tried. I ran back to get him and tripped. The key fell down a drain.”

“Oh my God.” Grace shook her head at the tears beginning to burn her eyes. “So he’s up there, right now, trapped? And it won’t even be those things. It’ll be slow. The sun beating down on him, he’ll cook. He’ll die of exposure. Even if he can get some shade, he’ll dehydrate in this heat.” She rubbed her eyes frantically. “No one deserves that.”

Andrea slid her arm around Grace and tried to comfort her crying friend. “There’s nothing we could have done.”

“So you left him.” She pushed the blonde away. “You left him like an animal caught in a trap.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “You didn’t even like the guy. I’d think you’d be happy to have him gone.”

“You know what Shane? Fuck you! I might not have liked him too much but he’s family and a human being. There’s nothing happy about this situation.” Grace pushed her way through the crowd of people and ran off toward the truck to be alone. Suddenly she was beginning to wonder if maybe Merle was right. Maybe other people were the problem. Maybe they shouldn’t have stuck around a group for so long. It sure would have been easier to keep this from happening if it was just the three of them. 

\---

Grace had mostly calmed herself down by the time supper came around but she still wasn’t too impressed by the group. Honestly she understood where they were coming from. She’d thought about killing Merle herself but she’d never thought about leaving him to die in such a horrific way. It was just upsetting. Even if it was true that the walkers couldn’t get to him and he wouldn’t be eaten alive, the thought of him slowly dying of exposure made her skin crawl. How could they even try to justify leaving him like that? There must have been something they could have done.

She tried sleeping off her anxiety about the situation but couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes for longer than a few minutes at a time. When she gave up on sleeping, she rolled over and fished her book out of her suitcase to try and pass the time reading. By the time Carol showed up to invite Grace to eat with the group, she’d barely read ten pages.

“I don’t know if I can.” Grace shook her head. “They’re just all sitting around as if this doesn’t bother them.”

“They don’t understand.” Carol nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t get how they can just throw away a person like that. He’s still a human being. I can’t get the image of him alone up there out of my mind.”

“In this world especially, we’ve got to hold on to the ones we care about no matter what they do.”

Grace looked over at Carol. The other woman had started crying softly. Face in her hands, she made no effort to hide her tears, though she kept the sound down to a minimum. This was a woman used to crying and keeping other people from knowing. Reaching out a tentative hand to rest on her friend’s shoulder Grace rubbed a small comforting circle across Carol’s shoulder blade. “Are we talking about Ed?”

“He’s Sophia’s father.” Carol sniffled. “I know that he’s cruel to me but he loves our little girl. He’s never raised a hand to her. His voice maybe but he’s never physically hurt her. I don’t know why they can’t understand. He protected us.”

“Shhh, it’s alright. It’s alright.” Grace soothed. “I understand. It’s hard.”

Carol looked up with red rimmed eyes, tears still flowing freely. “I was going to leave him you know. Before all of this. I was setting it up, was going to stay with my sister and her family. I’d tried before but this time it was for sure. But I kept putting it off and then they started restricting travel and the next thing I know Ed’s packing up the car and our neighbours are trying to eat us. I figured it was better to stay with him than try it on our own.” She rubbed her face frantically. “What sort of mother does that make me? I’d rather let my daughter see her father beat her mother than try and make it on my own. I could have left him when you offered to take us with you. We could have snuck away. I just felt I owed it to him.”

“You don’t owe him anything! You don’t need to stay with him just because he’s here.”

“The only reason they let him stay is because of me. Shane would chase him off. And then what would happen to him?”

“He’d either live or he wouldn’t. He shouldn’t be your problem.”

“You make Merle your problem.”

“That’s different, Carol. He’s rough around the edges but he’s not abusive. He cares for Daryl and me in his own way.”

“I doubt very much that Merle Dixon cares about anyone. He’s selfish and cruel.”

It sounded so harsh coming out of someone else’s mouth that suddenly Grace felt extremely remorseful over everything she had said and thought about Merle. How many times had she been the one making the same point Carol was no making? Seeing him against someone like Ed though she realized just how different Merle was. He wasn’t doing anything out of any form of cruelty, he was just trying to protect himself and the ones he loved. She thought back to him putting himself between her and Shane when Shane had wanted to drive her back to camp. It would probably have been easier to just let them take her but instead Merle had switched his protectiveness toward her and lashed out against Shane. “Respectfully, I disagree.” Grace snipped harshly. “He’s an asshole but he’s one of my assholes and I don’t see how the situations are similar at all.”

“Am I interrupting something?” Rick Grimes stood shocked at the scene before him. Grace tried her best to straighten out what she was sure was the ultimate bitch face but found herself failing miserably.

“I should go.” Carol stood quickly and raced away, pushing past the officer and heading to her own section of the camp.

Grace was sorry to see her go before repairing the situation but there was nothing to be done right then. She couldn’t chase after her with Rick waiting to talk. 

“Is she alright?” He asked, seeming even more concerned now as he stared the way the other woman had retreated.

“Are any of us?” Grace offered vaguely. 

Rick nodded thoughtfully and took a step closer. “I was hoping to have a talk with you without the others. I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot.”

“You handcuffed Merle to a roof and left him there.”

“Abandoning him was never my intention. I’ve come to apologize.”

“Then do it. Unless you’re planning on fixing this somehow, I don’t see how saying you’re sorry is going to change anything.” Grace huffed. “When Daryl comes back tomorrow we’ll go into the city and get him and then we’ll be out of everyone’s hair. I should have never put the group in this situation by joining. We’ll make our way back to the cabin and just wait this thing out there.”

“I don’t think that’s very smart.”

“Look Officer,” her voice was laced with sarcasm, “you don’t get to make choices for anyone else. Merle is a danger to the group and he’s not your problem. He’s mine and Daryl’s. We’ve taken care of him for years. It’ll be much better for everyone if we take off on our own.”

“No one is forcing you to leave.”

“They don’t have to.”

The officer sighed, “With all you’ve been through, are you sure you want to be on your own?”

“Excuse me?” Grace couldn’t believe he’d gone there. Her tone was demanding. “All I’ve been through?” 

“With losing your ba...”

“Okay, don’t.” She pointed an accusing finger at the man. “You’ve got no right to go there. No one had any right to tell you that. Did they do it to make you feel sorry for me? ‘You shouldn’t upset Grace, Rick. She’s just lost a baby. She’s a delicate little flower.’ Well fuck you! I’m not broken and I’m not going to subject myself to being camp gossip. That’s none of your business and you have no right to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think...”

“No you didn’t!” She was shouting now. Her voice hitting frantic notes. “You thought you could come over here and make it all better. Well you can’t. You can’t solve everything!”

“I’d like to try.”

Grace froze. Rick suddenly looked very fragile and broken. A pang went through her chest. This was not a cruel man. He hadn’t done anything she wouldn’t have thought of doing. He never meant to abandon Merle.

“I want to go and get him tomorrow.” He hung his head. “I’d go tonight but it’s going to be dark soon and I wouldn’t want to go into the city after dark.”

She sighed, tension leaving. “Daryl and I can go.”

“I won’t send you into that. I know it’s none of my business but Lori says you’re still recovering and it would be a death sentence to let you go. It’s my fault he’s up there and I want to fix my mistake. May I sit?” He asked gesturing to the tailgate. She nodded. Rick sat down heavily on the tailgate and rubbed his side. “I woke-up a week ago and I was all alone. I woke-up to a nightmare. Except in a nightmare there’s an ending. You wake-up and it’s over. I wonder if I might have been better off staying asleep. But I know that’s wrong. I just keep pushing forward and hoping for a future that includes happiness and peace. If there is a future for us then the things we do now will haunt us, I can’t be responsible for taking a man’s life. Accidentally or on purpose.” He stopped to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry. Just get a little winded sometimes still. It’s better than when I first woke-up.”

“Gun shot right?” 

Rick nodded. He didn’t look alright. His face was ashen and he was breathing heavily, leaning away from his injured side. “It’ll go away in a minute or so.” He insisted, now rubbing the site unconsciously.

“Let me see.” Grace insisted. Rick looked at her skeptically. “What they told you all about my medical history but not my medical knowledge?” The man shook his head in response. Grace grinned. “I was a nurse before all this. Clinic work mostly but I had to look at all sorts of crap in school. Shirt off and then we can see what we can do about this.”

He was still looking at her with doubt but already he’d started on the buttons of his shirt. When Rick had shrugged out of his shirt, Grace scooted closer peeling back the tape that held the gauze in place. “When was your dressing changed last?”

“Yesterday.” He thought for a minute, “no, day before.”

“First step, we need to keep this clean. It’s mostly healed but it could still get infected. Second step we need to take the stitches out ASAP. If they’re in much longer we’re going to have trouble.” Grace jumped down off the tailgate. “Come on. Let’s go see what Dale’s got in the RV that I can use to clean this up and get something fresh onto it. Then I’ll take the stitches out.”

Everyone sort of froze when Grace bustled into camp with a shirtless Rick trailing behind. She headed straight for the RV without bothering to engage anyone in conversation. People were going to talk. They were always going to talk, it didn’t make it any better if you tried to dispel rumours by babbling. “Hey Dale.” She knocked on the RV door before letting herself in. “Any chance you’ve got a first aid kit in here?”

“Yeah I think so. Amy?” He turned to the blonde and she nodded. Quickly she rummaged through one of the cabinets and pulled out the thick red case. 

“Ah! Perfect.” Grace smiled. “That’ll work just right.”

“What are you doing exactly?” Amy wondered, voicing the question everyone had on their minds.

“Taking out Rick’s stitches before they get infected. He’s nearly healed and they’re going to start growing in if we aren’t careful. Do you know if there are tweezers in here?" Grace asked offhandedly as she began unzipping the case to look for herself. It was well stocked with a bunch of supplies she suspected would probably come in handy but didn’t need right then. No tweezers though. “Damn it. There aren’t any in here.”

“Andrea has some.” Amy offered. “I can get them.”

Grace offered her thanks. “Just bring them out to me when you get them.” Grabbing a reasonably clean looking towel off a stack of folded laundry, she invited Rick back outside. She set up her work station near one of the makeshift tables that had decent lighting and sat her patient down on a stump to set to work.

“What’re you doing, Dad?” Carl asked, his voice peeking with interest. 

“Grace is just taking a look at my side. Making sure everything is healing alright.”

“Then we’ll take out his stitches.” Grace added, carefully cleaning her hands in a bucket of fresh water. She dried them on the towel and slid the latex free gloves she had found in the kit over her hands. 

“Cool!” The little boy’s eyes went wide. “Can I watch?”

Grace looked to the boy’s father for confirmation before saying yes. She didn’t want to overstep any bounds but she didn’t see a reason not to let him. “If your dad doesn’t mind an audience.”

“So long as you stay far enough back that Grace doesn’t do something she shouldn’t.” Rick nodded. 

Carl sat down by his dad’s feet balancing on his knees to see better. “Sophia!” He called to his friend who was watching nervously from a good distance away. “Come see! Grace is taking out Dad’s stitches.”

“Ew!” The little girl wrinkled her nose. “No thank you.”

Amy brought the tweezers over and Grace had her hold them over one of the small cooking fire with BBQ tongs from the RV and then drop them onto a clean plastic sheet she’d unfolded from the first aid kit. She carefully cleaned off Rick’s wound while explaining the signs of infection and what to look for as well as how to keep the area cleaned. Carl seemed fascinated but Rick looked a little bit green. “Now Carl,” She said, although it was mostly for Rick’s benefit. “Would you distract your dad so he doesn’t tense too much when I take these out. Tell him what’s been going on at camp.”

Rick looked grateful as Carl started to ramble on about the things they had done to establish camp. The little boy’s face lit up as he talked about Shane taking the children swimming and him helping the other officer set up the tent that Carl and Lori were sleeping in. Carl seemed to really love that man and Grace was relieved to see Rick relaxed rather than tense over having been replaced in his son’s life, even for a short while. It seemed that he didn’t have a jealous bone in his body.

Grace worked quickly and finished by swabbing the whole thing again with a fresh alcohol pad. “Now you’ve got to get these changed every night before bed. I want clean bandages on there so you don’t lie is sweaty gross ones all night.”

Rick nodded as she put the last piece of tape in place. “Thank-you.”

“Not too much heavy lifting for a few days either. I don’t want too much stress on the area. You should be good in a couple of days though. Just keep checking back so we can do something about any infection that starts. If there’s anything you’re worried about then just come check with me and I’ll take a look.”

“That was SO COOL!” Carl hopped to his feet, dancing around his father. 

“Yeah, cool.” Rick said slowly. Grace couldn’t help but smile a little at the officer’s weak stomach. She wondered if that wasn’t why his bandages had gone unchanged for so long. He was too nervous to do it himself.

“Are you going to eat supper with us?” The boy wondered.

“Yeah.” Grace collected all her materials together, wrapping them into a bundle and putting them into one of the plastic bags. “Just let me get rid of this stuff and I’ll come eat. Then I’ll read you guys a chapter before it gets too dark to see the paper.”

“Grace is reading us Watership Down.” Carl told his father, dragging the man behind him by the hand toward one of the cook fires where people were sitting and eating a variety of canned foods and dried meat. Food was a little bit less scarce with what they’d managed to salvage on their failed trip into the city but already they were talking about sending another party in to get more supplies. This time more heavily armed and without Merle.

As night fell they sat around the campfire and talk turned to how Rick had felt when he step out of the hospital. He seemed stronger as he talked about it this time; more able to wrap his head around waking-up in a post-apocalyptic world and finding himself all alone. Watching him cling so tightly to his family made the bottom of Grace’s stomach fall out. She missed Daryl. She wanted him there to rant and rave with her over Merle being left behind. She wanted to hold him so she knew nothing bad had happened to him either.

“Disoriented.” Rick nodded slowly. “I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear. Confusion. All of those things but disoriented comes closest.”

In the distance the thunder rumbled. She closed her eyes, the warm orange of the firelight reflecting against her eyelids. Where ever Daryl was tonight she hoped he found somewhere dry to sleep. She hoped he managed to sleep at all; to stay safe. 

“Words can be meager things.” Dale put down his mug. “Sometimes they fall short.”

Rick smiled sadly at the old man. “I felt like I had been ripped out of my life. Put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake-up from. Ever.”

Carl looked up at his father. Rick had one of his arms around Lori and Carl sat between his legs. He was holding his family together, as close as he could possibly get them. “Mom said you died.” The boy said softly. He sounded slightly bitter, like he was concerned that he had been tricked or lied to and it nearly cost his father his life.

“She had every reason to believe that.” Rick reassured his son, looking between the boy and his mother to tell his wife he wasn’t mad at her for leaving him. He ruffled Carl’s hair. “Don’t you ever doubt it.”

Lori looked shattered. “When things started to get really bad, they told me they were going to medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta and it never happened.”

“Well I’m not surprised after Atlanta fell.”

“Yeah.” Lori nodded her head in agreement, seeking Rick’s approval that she had done the correct thing by leaving when she thought he was dead. Her guilty was so thick you could physically feel her tension.

“And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun.” Rick leaned Lori subtly onto him a little more, taking her weight onto him.

Across the fire, Shane shifted uncomfortably as well. “Yeah, looks don’t deceive. I barely got them out. You know?”

No one made eye contact. Everyone had their own escape stories. Grace was just lucky that Daryl had come for her before she was really exposed to the horrors that this new world held. She’d managed to escape with very few images of just how the world crumbled into despair.

“I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. Can’t begin to express it.”

Shane swallowed and nodded wordlessly.

“There goes those words,” Dale mused, “falling short again. Paltry things.”

The sounds of the night engulfed them; the crackle of fire and the crickets chirping in the background. Claire yawned and pulled her blanket tighter around her. Amy snuggled into her sister. Grace rubbed her arms. It was getting chilly out. The nights were nothing compared to the heat of full sunlight. Once the sun set the temperature seemed to plummet.

Apparently he’d had the same idea because Ed Peletier dragged another log over to his fire and tossed it in.

“Hey Ed,” Shane scolded. “You want to rethink that log.”

“It’s cold, man.” Ed grunted in response.

“Cold don’t change the rules, does it? We keep our fires low, just embers, so we can’t be seen at a distance, right?”

“I said it’s cold.” Ed glared at the main group’s fire. “Why don’t you mind your own business for once?”

Shane stood swiftly and stormed over to the other fire to put Ed back in his place. Rick watched with shock as his friend calmly addressed the situation and talked to Sophia and Carol as if nothing were wrong. His eyes darted around the group. No one said anything. No one ever said anything. When he returned to the group Dale immediately changed the subject.

“Has anyone thought about how Daryl is going to react?” Dale looked around the circle pointedly. “He won’t be happy to hear his brother was left behind.”

Everyone turned to Grace and she just shrugged. “He’s going to be pissed for sure. Daryl can’t hold his temper.”

“I’ll tell him.” T grimaced. “I dropped the key. It’s on me.”

Rick shook his head. “I cuffed him. That makes it mine.”

“Guys,” Glenn interrupted, “It’s not a competition. I don’t mean to say it like this but don’t you think it might sound better coming from Grace.” The Korean turned quickly and gave her an apologetic smile. “No offence.”

“None taken. I didn’t exactly take the news well and I’m not even half as easily upset as Daryl.”

“Then there’s the race card. It probably wouldn’t sound good coming from a black guy.” Glenn shrugged. 

“I did what I did. Hell if I’m gonna hide from him.” The black man insisted stubbornly.

Grace shook her head. “You’d be better off hiding for a while just until I get him quieted down.”

“You could lie.” Amy offered her friend and Grace just rolled her eyes.

“I’m not lying to him.”

“What good would it do?” Andrea wondered. “We tell him the truth. Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he’d have gotten us killed. Rick did what was necessary and if Merle got left behind, it is nobody’s fault but Merle’s.” She turned to Grace pointedly. “That includes you. I don’t want you putting yourself at the mercy of Daryl Dixon just because you feel guilty.”

Grace scowled at the blonde sisters. “He won’t hurt me.”

“So you say...”

“He’s not crazy and he’s not Merle. Daryl wouldn’t hurt me no matter how pissed he was.”

“Not purposely.” Dale frowned. “I think what Andrea is saying is that when Daryl gets back from his hunt we’re going to have our hands full.”

She didn’t disagree with them, Daryl was going to be furious, especially when he found out his brother could still be trapped up on the roof, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to take it out on her. “You might. He’s not coming after me.” Grace scowled.

“I’m the one who chained the door. Nothing’s getting him up there.” T-Dog grimaced. “Dixon’s alive. That’s on all of us.”

The thought of leaving a man to die seemed to weigh heavily on everyone and the conversation quickly came to a close. As the fires burned down and it grew later, everyone slowly moved away from the fire and to their respective sleeping places. Grace found herself reluctant to immediately crawl into the back of the truck and fall asleep without Daryl and she couldn’t help but her mind kept going back to Merle. Even though the camp was full of the sounds of people going to sleep and talking quietly with their loved ones Grace felt very, very alone.

Dumping the bucket of sand over the embers of the fire, Grace let her eyes slowly adjust to the dark around her. Most of the people were already in their tents and the few that still had lanterns on were slowly dimming them. In the moonlight, Shane sat silhouetted on the top of the RV. 

“Hey,” She called up to him quietly.

Shane jumped as if Grace had startled him. She turned toward where he was looking and noticed that it was toward the Grimes family tent. “What’s going on, Grace?” He spoke before she got a chance to process her thoughts.

“Mind if I come up for a bit?”

He nodded and she climbed up the ladder quickly, holding her blanket tightly around her shoulders like a cape. “Is it just me or is it colder up here?” She settled into the lawn chair beside Shane’s.

“It’s the wind.” Thunder rumbled in the distance. “I’m hoping that storm stays away too. It’ll be shitty up here if it starts pouring.”

“Do you think they mind the rain?”

“Walkers? Nah, they’re too stupid to notice its pouring. Only think that might slow ‘em down is a flood, maybe a mudslide. Don’t expect to get one of those though.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“You hoping they lay off Merle if it’s rainin’ out?”

“A little.”

“I don’t know why you’d want him to come back. He’s a psycho.”

“He’s family.”

Grace stretched out and leaned back. The clouds were moving at an alarming rate. As they shifted and raced across the sky, long stretches of stars were revealed and covered up. For a while she lost herself in the night sky, remembering better times. Sooner rather than later she found herself actually growing tired. Stifling a yawn, she looked at Shane. Once more he was staring at Lori and Carl’s tent. 

“You alright?” She asked. 

Shane took a while to shake himself. “Yeah, sure. Why’re you asking?”

“You seem...” Grace struggled to find the word. “Distracted. You just seem distracted.”

“I’m fine.” The officer insisted.

“Alright.” She smiled at him. “I think I’m ready to sleep now. Thanks.”

“No problem.” His eyes had already drifted away from her again.

As she started to climb down the ladder, she stopped. “Shane.” Grace whispered. “If you ever need someone to talk to. I’m here alright?”

“What?” Shane looked at her puzzled.

Grace shrugged. “I just want you to know that, alright. I can keep a secret. If that’s what you need I mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I just wanted you to know that.” She insisted, slowly lowering herself down the ladder. 

\---

Grace woke with a start, grasping at the empty side of the mattress before she remembered that Daryl hadn’t made it back the day before. She didn’t know if she felt better or worse about him staying away for longer. She was hoping that longer meant there was a higher chance that he had found his deer but she also knew that there was a higher chance that he had run into trouble. 

She stretched and let herself out of the truck hoping to find a spot away from the group so she could have a quick pee without being disturbed. It probably wasn’t safe going off somewhere by herself and not tell anyone where she was going but she really just needed her time to herself in the morning. It’s not like she wandered off by herself without a weapon or anything. She always took the gun that Daryl had forced on her.

Bladder emptied, Grace went back to the truck and got dressed. Finally she was ready to face the others.

“Morning Grace.” Dale smiled. “We’ve got a pot of beans on if you want some.”

“Uh. I’ve always hated beans.”

“So did I,” Amy laughed. “Now I look forward to them because at least it means we’re eating something.”

“I still don’t like oatmeal.” Carl piped up, looking pointedly at his mom who’d had a long argument about it the morning before with the boy.

“Can’t get too picky, Kiddo.” Shane ruffled Carl’s hair. “This isn’t a 5-star restaurant.” 

“Not even a 2-star.” The little boy grumbled.

“How do you feel about mushrooms?” Grace asked him.

Carl wrinkled his nose. “They’re alright.”

“You can come with me after you finish your beans and we’ll get some. I think there’s some cooking oil in the camper. We’ll fry them up and see what spices and stuff we can find for them.”

“Cool!” He exclaimed and began happily wolfing down his meal. 

Grace served herself and by the time she’d finished eating and washed her dishes, not only had Carl cleaned up after eating but he’d also found Sophia and convinced Carol it was a good idea for her to come along too.

“You alright with them, Grace?” Carol worried.

“We’ll be fine. They’re no trouble, right guys?”

The two kids nodded eagerly and clung to their buckets. Grace lead them the short distance away from camp to the few places that edible mushrooms had already been identified and marked. The kids happily collected and then raced off to find more that had yet to be identified. 

“Grace.” Sophia tugged on Grace’s shirt. “What about this one?”

“Yup.” Grace held out her bucket. “Any more?”

Sophia nodded and pointed out the tree where she had found some more.

“Look at me Grace!” Carl shouted, standing at the top of a rock pile he’d climbed. 

Grace shook her head but she was laughing. “Get down from there. You’re mom’s going to beat me if she knows I let you climb that thing.”

“You didn’t let me do anything.” The boy pointed out. “I climbed it all by myself. Didn’t ask or nothin’.” He beat on his chest, ape style. “I’m a wild man.”

“Well wild man is going to get grounded when his mom finds out.”

“Hey!” Carl stopped his playing to point over Grace’s shoulder. “What happened to that deer?”

Grace turned. A deer had stepped out of the trees and was swaying slightly on its feet. As they watched it collapsed, chest heaving heavily. Though the animal was clearly dying, Grace’s heart leapt at the arrows sticking out of its flank. Her face was just breaking into a grin when a low moan broke the quiet. A lone man stumbled out of the woods focused with a narrow minded intent on the dying deer.

Sophia yelped loudly and ran behind Grace. The walker turned its head, tilting to one side almost comically, seeming to consider the three humans before taking one shaky step forward. Carl scrambled down the rocks and joined his friend but with the second step the little girl started screaming. 

“Quiet down.” Grace protested but already the walker was attracted to them. He staggered forward the tatters of his suit swaying. 

“You gotta be quiet, Sophia.” Carl insisted, clamping his hand over the girl’s mouth. Grace wanted to scold him for being rough with her but knew it was needed. 

Without taking her eyes off the walker she whispered to the children. “Go to camp and get help. Quietly! We don’t know if there are any more. Don’t shout until you see people.”

Carl nodded and raced off, dragging Sophia behind him who was still whimpering. Grace took a step backward, her foot nearly catching on a raised part of the ground. She wanted to get herself as far away from the walker while still giving the kids time to escape. 

The walker had turned toward Carl and Sophia as they ran towards camp and moved to change direction and follow them. That would have been very bad. Grace couldn’t think straight but she knew that if a walker got into camp it could possibly result in a lot of deaths or at least a lot of people getting bitten. “Don’t do it!” She scolded the walker and his milky eyes locked back on her. “You can’t go after them.”

“Unahahhhhg.” He lifted his arms and reached for her. 

She took two quick steps backward, hands dropping to her waistband and pulling out the gun. Her fingers brought the weapon to eye level but they were trembling and she had a hard time focusing the gun. “You can do this.” Grace whispered to herself. “You can do this. You’ve done it before. Just. Don’t. Miss.” 

The first sounds of shouting came from camp as people rushed to take arms. The cries of the children apparently alerted everyone well enough and she could hear people crashing through the trees. 

“Grace? GRACE!?” She heard her name and both her and the walker turned toward the loud noise. 

“Over here!” She shouted back.

Rick, Shane and Glenn burst through the trees brandishing weapons. Close behind them were Morales, Jim and Dale, who were also armed. Shane had a gun pointed at the walker immediately but Rick pushed his friend’s arm down gently. “Too much noise.” He insisted and reluctantly Shane dropped the weapon.

“You alright?” Morales called to Grace.

“Yeah. Don’t know if there’s more so I didn’t want to shoot if I didn’t have to.”

“Fuck this!” Shane spun his gun around and smashed it forward, connecting the butt firmly with the walker’s neck. The creature spun around, only to be met with a pole, this time swung by Glenn. The men all jumped into the scuffle, beating the creature into the ground, wet slapping sounds with each connection and the crunch of bones clear in the crisp morning air. Grace moved to put as much distance between the attack and herself as possible. Jacquie, Lori and Carol were holding the two children and trying to shield their eyes from what was happening. It was Dale who finally swung his axe and decapitated the monster, its body convulsing to a halt and laying separate from its head on the hard packed dirt. 

“Are they okay?” Grace asked, nodding to Carl and Sophia.

“Fine, thank the Lord.” Carol whispered stroking her daughter’s hair back. Sophia was crying hard into her mother’s shirt. 

“Where did it come from?” Jacquie looked at the thing lying on the ground. “And what happened to that deer?”

“We all good?” Rick called over and the women nodded quickly. 

“We’re good.” Lori called back.

“It’s the first one we’ve had up here.” Dale stared down at the body. “They never come this far up the mountain.”

Jim shrugged. “Well, they’re runnin’ outta food in the city, that’s what.”

A rustle in the trees though had everyone jumping. Shane pointed his gun at the approaching footsteps and everyone tensed, waiting for another walker to step from the trees. Instead Daryl stepped forward. 

“Jesus Christ!” He muttered. “The hell you all pointing those at me for?” The hunter looked down at the walker and then to his deer. “Son of a bitch. Fucker went after my deer!” Daryl stormed over to the walker’s body. “Look at you, filthy, disease-bearing, motherless, poxy bastard.” He punctuated each insult with a kick. “Can’t do much damage now,” he kicked it once more, “can ya!?”

“Calm down, son.” Dale tried to sooth Daryl. “That’s not helping.”

Daryl swung around the deer and got into Dale’s face. “What’d you know about it, old man? Why don’t you take that stupid hat and go back to On Golden Pond.” He huffed and turned to yank an arrow out of the deer. “I’ve been trackin’ this deer for miles. Woulda been a complete waste if this bastard had gnawed on it.”

“You can thank Grace for that.” Shane tipped his head toward Grace and Daryl spun around quickly.

“Carter,” he grunted. “The hell you doin’ this far from camp?”

“Collecting mushrooms?” She offered, walking quickly back into the circle of men, hoping to diffuse some of the tension. 

“I didn’t hear no gunshots. What happened to yer gun?” Daryl took the remaining few steps toward her.

She held up the weapon. “I’ve got it right here. Just didn’t know if there were more so I didn’t fire it.” Grace held out her arms a little to show she was okay. “Saved the deer though.”

“Fuck.” Daryl snarled and reached out for her, yanking her into his chest hard and pinning her with the arm that wasn’t holding his bow. “Don’t pull a stupid stunt like that ever again, you hear me?”

Grace nodded against the rough fabric of his shirt. He was filthy, covered is sweat and dirt. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d actually dug himself a hole in the ground to sleep in.

At their feet a wet grinding sound drew all their eyes downward. The walker’s jaw began twitching and the disembodied head started to move and moan. 

Letting go of Grace quickly, Daryl jumped toward the walker. “Come on people. What the hell?” He aimed his crossbow and fired, making a direct hit to its left eye. He planted his boot on the skull and yanked the bolt free. “Don’t y’all know nothing? It’s gotta be the brain.” He slung an arm back around Grace, turning her toward camp and leading her away.

“Daryl,” Grace started but he interrupted her. 

“Now where’s my good fer nothing brother?” Daryl laughed. “Gotta get him to help me dress this deer and drag it back to camp.” He patted his side. “And a dozen or so squirrel. We’re gonna be busy.”

“Daryl, listen.”

“Merle!” He called. “Merle! Get yer ugly ass out here. You gotta see what I got!”

Grace planted her feet and Daryl stepped forward without her. 

“What’s a matter? What’re you stoppin’ for?” He turned to her confused.

“You’ve got to listen.”

“Yer worryin’ me, Carter. What am I listenin’ to?”

“Merle...”

“What about Merle?”

“There was a problem in Atlanta.”

“Wha’s that supposed to mean? He dead?”

Shane swaggered up behind them. “We’re not sure.”

Daryl spun around furiously, “Well he either is or he ain’t.”

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Rick stepped in between his friend and Daryl. “So I’ll just say it.”

Daryl’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “Who’re you?”

“Rick Grimes.”

“Rick Grimes?” Daryl mocked. “You got somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

“Daryl.” Grace whispered, resting her hand on his arm. “Stay calm.”

Rick nodded his thanks. “Your brother was a danger to us all. So I handcuffed him to a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He’s still there.”

Daryl yanked his arm free from Grace. “Hold on. Let me process this.” He spun his hand by his head, “You’re saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!” His voice hit an octave higher than usual and cracked a little. Grace could tell he was crumbling. 

“Yeah.” Rick hung his head in shame.

“It’s not their fault.” Grace reached out for him again. “Merle was high. He was putting everyone at risk.”

“No excuse to leave him there. No way to defend hisself.” Daryl snarled like a wild animal and chucked the string of squirrels at Rick, diving after them to tackle the man. 

Shane dove in and body slammed with Daryl before he could reach his target and forced him to the ground. The two men wiggled apart.

“Guys!” Grace shouted. “How’s about we just talk?”

“Tell him that.” Shane growled.

Daryl reached for the sheath on his hip and slid his knife free.

“Watch the knife.”

Daryl grunted and swung at Rick completely missing. Shane grabbed the hunter from behind and pulled his arm behind his back, then switched to wrap his arm around Daryl’s neck in a headlock pulling him away from the other officer. Rick took Daryl’s knife and tossed it behind himself.

“You’d best let me go.” Daryl flailed, trying to get free.

“Nah, I think it’s better if I don’t.” Shane mused nonchalantly. 

Grace had to hold herself back from charging Shane and getting him off of Daryl. “Get off of him. You all need to calm down. This is insane.”

“Chokehold’s illegal.”

“You can file a complaint.” Shane chuckled. “Come on man, we can keep this up all day.”

“Grace is right.” Rick knelt down in front of Daryl. “I’d like to have a calm discussion on this topic.”

“Try letting him go then, assholes.” Grace snipped.

“We’ve gotta know he’s not going to try something.” Rick explained. “Just a nice little chat with no funny business.” He turned back to Daryl. “You think we can manage that.”

Daryl’s eyes rolled with rage and he struggled harder. Finally he locked on to Grace and she shook her head gently. 

“Do you think we can manage that?” Rick repeated. 

Huffing, Daryl finally went limp. Shane looked at his partner and they shared a long glance before nodding and finally letting go. Releasing Daryl from his grasp, Shane dropped him on the ground. The hunter struggled to regain control over his body and pulled himself into a sitting position.

“What I did was not on a whim.” Rick leaned over him. “Your brother does not work or play well with others.”

“Let’s not be so sarcastic.” Grace snapped, rushing to Daryl’s side. He pushed her away but the movement didn’t contain any malice. She tried again more insistently and he sighed, allowing her comfort. “We know what Merle was like.”

“It’s not just Rick’s fault.” T stood off to one side, twitching with his admission. “I had the key. I dropped it.”

Daryl leaned into Grace just a little bit. “You couldn’t pick it up?”

T-Dog sighed. “Well, I dropped it in a drain.”

“It wasn’t purposely,” Grace added. “It was an accident. They were trapped and he was going to set Merle free but he was rushing. They didn’t leave him on purpose.”

Daryl dragged himself to his feet, continuing to breathe heavily. “Well that’s fuckin’ good to know. He still got left. So if that’s supposed to make me feel better, it don’t.”

“I chained the door to the roof so the geeks couldn’t get at him. With a padlock.”

“It’s gotta count for something.” Rick said determined to dispel the rest of the tension. 

Daryl’s shell cracked for just a second and his face contorted while he tried not to cry. Angrily he rubbed his fist in his eye. “Hell with all uh y’all. Jus’ tell me where he is so’s I can go get him.”

“He’ll show you.” Lori offered bitterly from where she was standing next to the RV. She gave Rick a pointed look. “Won’t he.”

“I’m going back.” Rick nodded.

Lori sighed and turned to go back into the RV. Grace wondered if the other woman had half expected Rick to tell her that he’d changed his mind and she was only waiting outside to have her dream crushed. Rick too sighed and started to explain his plan to Daryl.

\---

After quite a bit of arguing from the rest of the group, Rick and Daryl were joined by Glenn and T-Dog. Rick had apparently left a bag of guns in the city and Dale wanted the tools back that had been left on the roof. They decided that they were taking the cube van back into the city and would pick-up anything else they could carry to bring back in it. When they returned, the van would be stripped down and Dale could use parts for the RV that were a match.

Daryl seemed anxious to go but treated his deer as quickly as was possible. The process was disgusting to Grace but she knew it was necessary and sometimes Daryl needed an extra hand. Eventually he had the meat cut up into strips. 

“You good to stay by this while it dries?” He strung the pieces one at a time and looped them over the makeshift line that ran beside the huge fire Daryl had made to dry the meat. There were several ropes hung between the two trees. The deer had been a godsend but there wasn’t as much meat on it as she had first thought.

“I’m not going off by myself for a bit. Don’t worry.”

“Well I will.” He grumbled. “Don’t much like leaving you here by yerself to begin with but it seems every time I come back, somethin’ else is goin’ wrong.”

“I’ll be fine.” Grace slid up next to him, pleased that for once he’d washed his hands thoroughly and she didn’t have to worry about being covered in dirt and grime when she touched him. He hadn’t taken a proper bath since coming back but he wasn’t completely covered in deer bits either. She’d make him take a bath before going to bed when the boys got back from getting Merle. Hell, maybe she’d even convince Merle to take a bath. “I’m a big girl that can take care of herself.”

“Don’t seem like it.” 

“I’ll be fine.” Grace snuggled into him, pressing her cheek into his chest. Daryl squeezed her tightly and dropped his face to her hair. 

“Can’t believe I’m goin’ after him again.” 

“We should never have let him go.”

“Gonna kick his ass when he gets back.”

“Can I help?”

“Hell yeah. He deserves it after all the shit he’s put us through. Don’t give him back his stash neither. Needs to figure out shit without holdin’ on to that crap.”

“Daryl.” Rick called across the yard. “That deer nearly ready? We’ve gotta get on the road soon.”

“I’m comin’,” he called back. Looking down at Grace, he smiled. “Take care of yerself today, huh. Don’t need to go chasin’ you ‘round when I get back.”

“You too. Bring the asshole back.”

Daryl nodded and gave her an extra squeeze, before pulling back.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Grace insisted, narrowing her eyes in mock annoyance. He grinned and grabbed her once again, leaning in to kiss her quickly. Grace took his hand in hers, holding it tightly. “Come on.” She smiled, “I’ll walk you to the truck.”

The hunter dropped his head shyly, then looked back up to nod. They walked together to the van and Daryl held her hand the entire way over. He only let go when he jumped into the back of the cube van. As an afterthought he turned back and knelt at the back door. Despite all the people around them, he pulled her towards him, tugging her as close as she could get without climbing in herself. Daryl cradled her face between his rough thumbs and stared at her without saying a word. 

“Go.” Grace smiled a little. “Go on. I’ll be alright.”

“I just...”

She kissed him to silence Daryl’s reservations. “Go.”


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

 

Grace checked the meat carefully, making sure it wasn’t getting too dry and brittle. They’d done this before with just a few strips of squirrel but a whole deer cut up and hung on lines over a fire was a different story. This was enough meat to last them a while and though she knew Daryl wouldn’t be angry with her if she messed it up, he would be frustrated. 

Claire sat in one of the lawn chairs, set a short distance away from the fire. It was a hot day, the air itself was heavy, an sitting too close to the fire made your skin feel like it was going to melt off. 

“Grace, what does ectoplasm mean?” The girl looked up from the book she was reading with her forehead wrinkled.

“It’s like the stuff ghosts are made of.” Grace explained.

“Oh, alright.” Claire returned to reading. 

“Do you like it?” Grace asked, dropping into the chair beside her.

“I don’t know.” Claire responded as honestly as possible. “It’s sort of boring. These people don’t do much of anything. They’re useless.”

“That’s the point.”

“I guess it’s good then.” She put the book down on her knee. “It seems weird to think that people ever lived like that. I mean there have always been rich people and poor people and the poor people always had to work harder, right? If I just laid around on the couch all day, not moving, someone would have beaten me.”

Grace laughed. “We’re not supposed to feel sorry for them. You’re right, they’re rich and lazy.”

“What are bonds? He says he’s learning the bonds business. What does that mean?”

Grace had never even considered it. “I don’t know. Stock exchange maybe? It doesn’t really matter. It’s basically just a boring job that he hopes will make him money.”

“People like that would die out here. Look at Amy! She’s was wearing white pants yesterday. Who wears white pants in the woods.”

“You like Amy though.”

“Yeah but she’s sort of stupid.” Claire regarded Grace with a serious look. “She’s never had to do half of this stuff. Did you know their mom hired someone to clean their house? Can you imagine! Hiring someone to clean up when you’ve only got two kids. They can’t have been that messy.”

“Why are you in such a sour mood today?” Grace bumped the girl with her elbow. “Cheer up, maybe Glenn will bring you something back with him from the city.”

Claire’s face fell. “They shouldn’t have gone back.” 

“What?”

“They shouldn’t have gone back.” She repeated, more firmly this time. “It’s not safe to risk going into Atlanta after what happened yesterday.”

“They couldn’t just leave Merle up there like that. That’s just cruel.”

The girl deflated and hung her head. “I guess not. Why do they have to do such dangerous things though?”

“I don’t know. I wish I knew why all this is happening but it makes no sense.”

“Sometimes I wish I’d have stayed at home.” Claire sniffed a little. “I miss my family and then I feel guilty because I’m the one who left them.”

“Of course, you miss your family. It only makes sense. You don’t have to feel guilty for that. Once this all blows over, we’ll take you back.”

“Do you miss Daryl?”

“Always. Even when he’s just gone for a few minutes. I’m always worried that something is going to happen here. I wonder how long this place is going to stay safe before we need to move on. I worry about Merle causing trouble. Just look what he’s gotten us into now! Sometimes I think it would be best if the three of us just left.”

“If you leave, can I come with you?”

Grace shook her head. “If we leave, it’ll be because Merle’s not safe to be around anymore, I can’t risk you like that.”

“I’ll sneak into the truck again!” Claire insisted. 

“Don’t worry about it. We’re not planning on leaving any time soon. Let’s just think about them all coming back alright before we worry about what’s going to happen when they do.”

Claire gave her a skeptical look but Grace just shrugged. She stood and returned to checking the meat.

\---

“Grace?” Carol approached pushing Sophia ahead of her just a little bit. The little girl seemed reluctant to part with her mother.

Grace smiled as warmly as possible. “Hey, how’re you guys doing?”

“We’re fine. Ed’s going to drive a group down so we can wash some clothes. You got anything you need done?”

“Just the stuff in the truck cab. I wouldn’t mind having a clean pair of shorts.”

“Alright, I’ll take it with me.” The older woman nodded. “Mind if I ask you a favour?”

“So long as you’re doing my laundry, you can ask me anything you want.”

Carol nodded, frowning. She seemed more distracted that usual. Absently she rubbed at her wrist and Grace noticed a fresh streak of purple there. “Would you mind keeping an eye on Sophia for me? She kept getting underfoot yesterday and Ed...” She trailed off for a moment, goose bumps breaking out on her skin. Sighing, she drew herself back together. “He’d rather she stayed up at camp so I can get some work done.” Carol finished as strongly as possible.

“Yeah no problem.”

The grey haired woman seemed relieved. “Oh, thank you! We shouldn’t be long. Come on baby, give momma a kiss and I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

Sophia kissed her mom and Carol hurried off, probably so she didn’t keep Ed waiting any longer. Grace put the strip of meat she was checking into one of their plastic Tupperware containers and snapped the lid closed. Sophia stood awkwardly at the edge of the fire. “What’d you want to do, hon?” Grace asked her.

Sophia shrugged.

\---

The last strip of meat just barely fit into the final container that Grace had managed to wrangle together. “That’s the last of it.” She snapped the lid into place and stacked the plastic cube in with the rest of them. “Let’s go get this over to the RV.” 

Sophia nodded and stood quickly, brushing the dust off her pants. The little girl had been quiet since her mother dropped her off, content to play happily by herself without any encouragement. It makes Grace worried. The other three were like a pile of puppies but Sophia mostly hung off to the side by herself. She knew the little girl was smart, there was a spark of understanding in her eyes when the adults talked that Carl just didn’t have. Still the girl didn’t talk much. 

“Do you need help carrying something?” 

Between them, Claire and Grace balanced the majority of the containers. It would have been easier if they had just a couple of big ones but they couldn’t exactly just run to Walmart and buy more. “Sure, mind grabbing those ones?” Grace smiled gently. “It’ll save us a trip back over here.”

Sophia nodded and quickly scooped up the remaining containers with look of determination. The girl adjusted them carefully so they wouldn’t topple over and looked up with a small smile

“Ready?”

“Yup.” Her tongue stuck out just a little from between her lips. 

They walked the meat over to the RV. As they approached, Dale stuck his head over the side and he called down to them, “Is that the deer?”

“Sure is.” 

“That’ll be great. Be sure to thank Daryl for us again when he gets back. This is sure to help with the food situation.”

“Hopefully they don’t run into too much trouble in the city and can get some of the stuff they left behind.” 

The old man frowned. “Merle’s a handful. I don’t know how much of a chance they’ll have to do scavenging.”

“Hopefully he’ll have learned his lesson after this crap.” Grace looked down at Sophia. “Do not repeat that where your mother can hear. Let’s get this stuff inside and then I want to go or a swim. Standing by that fire I feel like I’ve been sweating for hours.”

\---

She’s only in town for the weekend; just setting everything up for the move in two weeks. Bobby is upset that she’s moving back home instead of in with him but all her own plans are on the back burner now. Grace’s supervisor wasn’t impressed when she put in her two week’s notice and he managed to convince her to stay a week longer but she can’t manage more than that. Her mom needs her at home now more than anything. 

“Grace?” Amber calls across the table, waving her hand in Grace’s face.

Grace snaps to attention. “Sorry, what?”

Amber sighs. She’s taken Grace out because she thinks Grace needs to have an evening away from all the planning, the forms, the medical procedures. Two months ago they had thought this would be manageable now it’s looking like she’s in for the long haul. “I was asking if you wanted to get the check soon.”

“Yes!” Grace says it a little too quickly. She wants to get home. She needs her sleep because tomorrow her mom’s got another consultation to go over the latest test results and decide on a long term plan of action to fight the cancer. “Sorry, I’m just anxious.”

Her friend regards her sadly and gives her a knowing smile. “We’ve put Mom on the prayer list at church. Everyone keeps asking about her.”

“Next weekend.” Grace promises. “If everything goes well I should be able to bring her next weekend.” She hasn’t gone to church since she started college but it’s a habit that her mother has kept up. The women’s group her mother associates with there has gotten her through the many difficult times that came from being a single mother and young widow. Grace has never quite put the same faith in God that her mother does but she needs the support now. That’s how she knows Amber and Mary Jane. They were Sunday School friends first and then classmates. 

“Is everything alright?”

Grace snorts. “I’ll be alright, Amber. Just distracted.”

The poised woman sitting across the table from her reaches a perfectly manicured hand across the table and pats her hand. “We’ll get the bill and you can go home.” She gestures to their waitress and the woman brings over the hard leather case. Amber insists on using her credit card and Grace is too stressed and too broke to protest. Every day her mom needs to spend in the hospital is another bill and now neither of them are working. She’ll need to find something here as soon as possible.

\---

There is no shouting when the group doing laundry comes back to camp. Andrea drove the the Peletier’s Cherokee with the emotionless expression of someone trying not to lose it. Sophia made a move to run toward the car but Grace held her back. Something wasn’t right about this scene. Carol slid out of the backseat first, her face a mess, eyes red and puffy; a thin line of blood dribbled from the side of her mouth that she must have tried to rub away because it was smeared toward her cheek. Everyone’s faces were stony. Andrea slammed the door a little too hard when she got out and went to get the baskets and crates from the back.

“What’s going on?” Grace asked, still holding Sophia’s hand.

“Ed had an accident.” Carol leaned back in to help her husband out of the backseat.

Ed Peletier slumped heavily against his wife. There were broken blood vessels in his left eye making it shockingly red. His nose looked to be broken as well. Already the bruising was starting to form thick and purple on his cheeks. Blood and dirt caked his face in a thick, messy paste and splattered across his wife beater. The first steps he took were limping as Carol helped him, one hop at a time, to their tent. Sophia whimpered beside her and squeezed Grace’s hand hard. 

“Shhh,” Grace tried to reassure her. “Stay here with Claire. I’ll go find out what’s happened. Claire!” She called to the teenager, transferring the little girl’s hand into the older girl’s grasp. “Don’t let her out of your sight.” She whispered and followed after the girl’s mother at a brisk pace. 

Carol had managed to get Ed to the door of the tent but no further. He’s not a small man and the delicate woman could barely move under his weight. She was breathing heavily when Grace offered her help. 

“Here.” She took Ed’s other arm, putting it over her own shoulder and together they moved him into the tent. Carol smiled grimly when they got him situated. Grace hissed, “what happened?!” and Carol gestured for them to go outside the tent. The exit faced away from where everyone was standing and they have a small amount of privacy. 

“Ed was...” Carol sniffled. “Ed was Ed and Andrea mouthed back to him. Ed got angry with me.” She huffed and choked on her words. Her fingers reached up to graze across her split lip. Grace realized without being told that Ed raised his hand to his wife publically. They’d suspected, she’d always show up with bruises and excuses after the group heard fighting from the Peletier’s little camp. “Shane...” A heavy swallow from Carol before she finishes her story. “Shane took matter into his own hands.”

Grace turned back to the tent and the man inside. Through the open flap she could just see a sliver of Ed sprawled out on the cot, chest rising and falling rapidly. He was heaving with the effort of being moved into the tent. She pushed the tent flap back further to get a better look and steps back inside. “Jesus.” Grace breathed low and heavy. “Lemme take a look at you.” She offered, making a move to step inside.

It must take a lot of effort because he grimaced with pain but Ed raised his arm and batted her off. “Don’t nee’ chur halp.” He slurred. His teeth are red with blood. 

“You need to have that looked at.” Grace stepped back out of his reach. She looked to Carol for some sort of okay to push the matter but Carol was frowning.

“I’ll do it.” She whispered. “I can take care of injuries. I can do it. He’s my husband.” The grey haired woman’s voice was low and bitter. She seemed to grow angry over the situation.

“Are you sure?” Brow wrinkled with concern, Grace tried to offer her an out. “I don’t mind.”

Carol’s tone was clipped. “He’s not your problem. Please keep Sophia away from the tent. I’ll fetch her when I’m finished.”

Grace raised her hands in defence but nodded and leaf the tent quickly. Carol was embarrassed this happened and she didn’t want any more of an audience. Grace could understand that from dealing with Merle. There were appearances to keep up. Even the end of the world didn’t change that. She returned to the group. They stood around the RV waiting for her. It’s clear she’s missed the conversation they had been having. She was pleased to see Claire has taken Sophia to the side and that the little girl was being distracted by Carl. Still she saw Grace’s approach. 

“What happened to my daddy?” She whispered, suddenly on the verge of tears.

“Just stay with Claire.” Grace insisted. “Your mom is taking care of him.” She tried to use as soothing a tone as was possible but she was frantically scanning the camp for Shane. She spotted Lori and couldn’t help but notice the woman’s guilty look. She shooed Sophia away to a safe distance and stormed over to where everyone was whispering hurriedly. 

“How is he?” Dale spoke first.

Grace brushed him off. “He wouldn’t let me look at him. What the hell happened?”

“Shane just came out of nowhere!” Amy blurted. “Ed was going off on Andrea and then Shane just came out of nowhere. Tell her, Andrea!” 

“Ed is a chauvinist asshole. He was just sitting there watching us wash clothes. So I told him he could help and he freaked out. Grabbed Carol and told her they were leaving. So I told Carol she didn’t have to leave and he smacked her in the face.”

“That’s when Shane showed up!” The younger sister added excitedly. 

“He just grabbed him and started wailing on him.” Andrea nodded, wide eyed. Unlike her sister she didn’t seem to be as excited by the whole thing. More worried about what had actually gone happened down at the quarry. “It was like he couldn’t stop.”

“Where is he?” Grace wondered. She still hadn’t found him in the crowd and he hadn’t appeared.

Andrea shrugged. “Still down there I guess. He stormed away after everything happened.”

“He just snapped?”

“We’ve all had enough of Ed’s mistreatment of his family.” Dale offered. 

“You’re honestly telling me that you’re alright with that?”

“Well no.” The elderly man amended. “I wouldn’t have taken it so far but he needed to be stopped. There’s no law to go to here. Someone should have talked to him before it got to this point but what’s done is done.”

Grace threw her hands up in the air. “You people are pathetic. We can’t just do whatever the hell we want, we’ll become animals.”

“It needed to be done.” Amy piped up. “Someone had to protect his wife and child.”

“Oh really,” Grace pointed at Sophia, who had started crying when the shouting began. Claire was holding Sophia tightly as she clung to her t-shirt. “Does that little girl look like she feels very safe? In that past 24 hours we’ve nearly abandoned a man to exposure and we’ve agreed that it’s best that corporal punishment be used to solve our problems before trying any other method. It’s like Lord of the Flies. Who’s got the conch now?”

“Grace,” Dale started quietly, “it was never meant that way. No one meant to leave Merle.”

“We need to start thinking about things before we just do them.” She swore under her breath. “I’m going to find Shane. Someone watch Sophia to make sure she’s alright until Carol is finished with Ed.” Grace sighed and rubbed her face over her hands. It seemed like everything was falling apart around her. For a while things had seemed so safe here and now in less than 24 hours they were being torn apart from the inside. Grace thought back to the walker yesterday so near to camp. It was only a matter of time now before they had to move on. It may just be better if her and Daryl took Merle with them and headed for the hills once the boys got back from the city. 

The walk down to the quarry seemed quicker than usual. Her head felt as though it was full of bees. Did they even want to stay with this group after everything that happened? Was it worthwhile if Merle was going to be a sensitive subject? Were the stares and poorly hidden whispers worth the relative security of camp? Were Daryl, Merle and her even wanted or were they simply a liability now the same way Ed was. Maybe they had only kept the Dixon’s around because of Grace, Daryl’s ability to hunt and the fact that there really weren’t that many people willing and able to shoot.

Her hands flew to her hip, pressing the warmed metal against her skin. She glad for the gun. There have been far too many reminders that even when everything seems quiet, safety can just be an illusion. The trail down to the quarry is peaceful and there’s the usually fluttering of birds and noisy insects but still Grace wonders what else could be hiding in the shadows of the trees. 

When she broke free of the foliage, Shane was an easy spot. He glowered out at the water, slumped against a large rock overlooking the shore. 

“Hey,” She called to him softly, not wanting to startle him out of his thoughts.

Shane turned swiftly, his expression pained but he masked it quickly with a false smile. “Hey, Gracie. What’re you doin’ down this way?”

“Don’t call me Gracie.” Grace rolled her eyes. “Merle might think it’s cute but it makes me feel like I’m five again.”

“Sorry.” Shane shrugged. “So what made you come all the way down here?”

“You,” she stated openly. Shane stared at her and Grace gave him a pointed look. “You haven’t been yourself all day. Last night too.”

Shane rubbed him hands over his face and up through his hair, making it stand on end. He groaned a little bit. “Just need some space is all.”

“You beat Ed Peletier.”

“Man had it comin’!” Shane shouted then recoiled. “Damn it! Sorry,” he amended, “he ain’t your fault.” 

“It’s alright.” She sat down beside him and patted his arm reassuringly. “What’s got you on the defensive? You should be celebrating! Your best friend is alive after all this shit. Maybe the boys will even bring something back from the city. We can have a proper celebration now that the shock’s worn off.”

Shane snorted. “Pretty sure you’ll spend half your night trying to convince Merle to not kill Rick.”

“Shouldn’t you be more angry about Rick being potentially maimed?”

“Rick can handle himself. He came back from the dead after all." The officer turned his gaze back toward the water, eyes locked on the distance. 

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“I’m ecstatic.”

Shane’s tone was anything but ecstatic; in fact it was laced with so much sarcasm that Grace could almost see it. She considered Shane carefully. For the first time she wondered about his relationship with Lori, had they taken things further than friends when Rick’s death seemed certain. Falling into bed after losing someone so close to them wouldn’t be that strange. People look for comfort in all sorts of places. 

\---

“Still no luck?” Mrs. William shakes her head at Grace as Grace steps out of line with a coffee in each hand. She’s been home two weeks and hasn’t found a job willing to take here when her available hours are so hectic and staggered. She needs income or else they’re going to have to sell the house. Already she’s had to stop her mother from talking about going through the jewelry. 

“I’ll find something.” Grace smiled brightly. It’s a fake grin, plastered over her worry lines. “It’ll just take some hard work. I’m stubborn.” She reassures.

“Don’t doubt that for a moment, dear.” Mrs. William pats her arm gently in the way only elderly woman can get away with and have it not be condescending. “Your mother is doing well?”

“She’s alright.” It’s a small town, everyone knows everyone else’s business and the gossip mill runs on overtime. “It’s rough.”

“Do you want me to ask Winston about you picking up a few shifts? We could always use someone who knows the ropes. The summer girls will be leaving in a short while to go back to school.”

“Oh no!” Grace shakes her head quickly. She doesn’t need charity. “I couldn’t.”

“Nonsense. I’ll have him give you a call.” Mrs. William brushes her off. “Us women need to stick together and help each other out. Your mother was just a dear to us when Winston had his knee surgery. You’re practically family!”

“I really can’t...”

“Hush now, it’s already done.”

\---

Grace and Shane left when Andrea and Amy hauled Dale’s canoe down to the water and launched it in the hopes that they could catch some fish to add to the group’s supplies. Shane stood and brushed off his pants, rubbing his knuckles in memory of what had happened earlier. “Better get back to camp.” He grunted. “Should go split some more wood for tonight.”

Grace nodded and they walk back to camp. No one there said anything about what had happened down at the quarry. Jacquie was hanging the last of the laundry. Lori and Miranda were doing lessons with the four children. Dale was up on top of the RV with binoculars scanning the area around the camp. Everything seemed to have resumed it’s easy pace. The officer headed straight for the wood pile, ignoring Carl who looked up excitedly to see him. Lori directed her son back to his lesson and Carl’s face fell but he continued writing. 

Claire was reading one of the novels from the camper a short distance from where the children are having school. She looked up when Grace approaches and smiles. “You made it back.”

“Sorry about leaving you with Sophia.”

“It’s alright.” The teen shrugged. “No big deal. How’s Shane?”

“I think he’s calmed down. He wouldn’t talk about what happened.”

Claire nodded. “I think Andrea feels guilty. That’s why she suggested that her and Amy take the boat down and fish. Sort of paying off her debt to the camp for causing trouble.”

“Everyone’s tempers are short today.” Grace sighed. “I should go say sorry to Dale for snapping at him.” 

She approached the RV and Dale calls down, “Back so soon?”

“I guess so.” Grace squinted up into the sun, “Mind if I come up for a bit?”

“Be my guest.” Dale smiled warmly. 

When Grace got herself situated on top of the camper she turned to Dale and frowned. “I owe you an apology.”

“Nonsense, you made a fair point.”

“I lost my temper. Fair points aren’t a good excuse. I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

Dale nodded wisely. “None of us wanted Ed to be beaten but you have to understand...”

“I know, he’s dangerous. It’s the same argument against Merle.”

“That must make it a bit of a sore subject.”

“Merle wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose.” Grace insisted forcefully. “He’s not a bad guy.”

“He attacked T-Dog in Atlanta and he’s using drugs. You must realize that he’s not himself when he’s using. It’s not that we want him to be thrown out but he’s unstable.”

She nodded and dropped into the lawn chair heavily. “I know. It’s not right to let him have free rein when he’s like this. I should have told the group that I knew he was using. I feel responsible.”

“He’s a grown man.”

“He’s our responsibility.” Grace insisted. “Daryl and I should have kept him in check.”

“He’s still an adult.”

“Well there will be no more of his crap He’s not getting his drugs back. I just have to figure out how to get rid of them and make sure he’s not going to be able to get them back. We’ll put the prescription medication somewhere but everything else has to go.”

“Take it out into the woods and bury it maybe?”

Grace nodded, that sounded like a pretty decent plan. “He’ll have to sober up. There’s nothing else he can use up here.”

“Will he be okay through withdrawal?”

“He’ll have to be.”

Grace didn’t stay and talk with Dale much after that. She retreated to the truck and gathered Merle’s stash from the glove box where she had stored it. After locating a shovel and telling the group where she was going Grace walked down toward the quarry. Amy and Andrea were still in the boat, both poles in the water. They were laughing, having a good time. Both sisters seemed relaxed.

She walked along the edge of the trees until she found a spot free from the majority of rocks and roots and began to dig. She worked quickly, hoping not to lose her nerve. When the hole seemed deep enough she began sorting through the pills and illegal substances. The bag was half full of blue powder. She wonders if it’s all from the Brewster’s or if maybe some of it is from before they left for the cabin. Before having to deal with Merle she’d had little experience with drugs - she didn’t even know it was possible to snort meth; now she feels she’s over-informed. 

When the hole seems deep enough she dumps everything that she doesn’t think they may need into the hole and goes down to the edge of the water. Grace hauls three buckets of water back to the hole and dumps them in with handfuls of dirt to make a thick mud paste at the bottom of the hole, which she stirs with the end of the shovel until she can’t recognize anything left solid. Then she fills in the rest of the hole, covering it with leaves to hide the spot as best as she is able. She washes the evidence off her hands and then heads back to camp. 

\---

Grace doesn’t want to take up Winston William’s offer when the man calls her but she needs to money and the hours are perfectly flexible. It’s strange being back working at the bar because nothing has changed at all. There are a few new faces and the summer staff is mostly girls a few years younger than Grace but she gets along alright with everyone. She falls into a comfortable routine by the end of the first week.

It’s so familiar that she shouldn’t be surprised when the first Saturday night she works a familiar voice shouts across the room.

“Well if it ain’t Gracie Carter.”

“Hello Merle.” She grabs him a beer without even thinking, sliding it down the counter to him. 

The older Dixon grins widely and cracks the seal, pinching the cap in half and dropping it. “You ‘memembered my drink.”

“It’s hard to forget something you’ve had to serve a million times, Merle.”

“Nah, I think it means you’re sweet on me, ain’t cha, Sugar?”

Grace shakes her head and turns away to hide her smile. Everything is exactly as she left it. Even though she doesn’t like Merle hitting on her, there’s a familiar sense of normal that comes with it. It’s been a long time since she had something normal in her life. Something so common place that she’s perfectly capable of reacting to it without thinking too hard. The cancer has consumed her as much as it’s invading her mother. Every waking moment is spent thinking about money and doctors and treatment options. It’s nice to step away from that for a moment and be busy with something else.

\---

Carol offered a sewing lesson to Lori and Grace, while Carl and Sophia play quietly together. The grey haired woman was subdued but determined not to talk about the events of the laundry trip. She patiently showed Grace how to sew the seams of a ripped shirt closed and Grace does her best not to fuck up the task. When the blonde sisters brought up their haul, Grace couldn’t be happier for the distraction. Her fingers were full of pinholes and she had barely made any progress.

“Whoa baby, would you look at that!” Morales laughed as Andrea passed off the chain of fish. Amy took a mock bow. “Ladies, because of you my children will eat tonight. Thank you!”

Lori put down her sewing and began a slow impressed clap. Carl abandoned Sophia for the opportunity to poke a dead fish. He had been disappointed since his frog hunting was cut short and the boy had spent the majority of the afternoon sulking. His mother insisted she had brought him back to camp because he didn’t tell her where he was going but Grace noticed how grim the other woman’s face had been all day. Lori looked so impressed by the fish though that it seemed like she had forgotten to be angry with Shane. Everyone seemed to be pleased. Jacquie folded the shirt she’s taken off the makeshift clothes line and joined them to admire their catch. Even Carol cracked a small smile. 

Andrea laughed at the praise. “Thank Dale, it’s his canoe and gear.” Jacquie gave the woman a high-five as her sister took a long drag from her water bottle and does a little happy dance. 

“Mom!” Carl jumped back and forth excitedly, practically vibrating with excitement. “Mom look at all the fish.”

Morales swung the fish toward Lori and she pulled back away from the slimy animals, still grinning. “Thank you.” She quipped sarcastically, brushing them out of her face.

“Whoa,” Carl stepped closer and Morales brought the fish nearer to the boy. Carl raised a single finger and poked one fin before yanking his hand back quickly, eyes wide with shock.

“Yeah whoa.” His mother chuckled. 

Grace kept her distance, not wanting the fish swung her way but her mouth stretched into a broad smile. “That’s amazing.” She nodded with joy.

“Where did you two learn to do that?” Lori wondered out loud. 

The younger blonde grinned and looked at her big sister, “Our dad.”

Carl was still hypnotized by the fish swinging in front of him. “Can you teach me to do that?” He murmurs, voice full of reverence.

“Sure!” Amy replied eagerly. “I’ll teach you all about nail knots and stuff.” She added quickly for Lori’s benifit, “If that’s okay.”

Lori shrugged, still grinning, “Oh you won’t catch me arguing.”

“Hey Dale.” Andrea called as the old man approached. “When’s the last time you oiled those line reels? They’re a disgrace.”

Dale’s mouth was set in a hard line. “I, uh, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but we may have a bit of a problem.” Shane came to stand beside him as Dale turned and pointed up toward the hill that overlooks the city. There at the top, a lone figure was digging.

“Is that Jim?” Shane wondered.

“It is. He’s been up there for three or so hours the best I can figure.” Dale nodded in affirmation. “I went up and spoke to him but he wouldn’t talk.”

“What is he digging for?” Jacquie asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“Like I said, he won’t say anything but they look like graves to me.”

Shane bobbed his head quickly. “Well I’ll go talk to him.”

“I’ll come with.” Morales offered, stringing up the fish on one of the clothes lines. Everyone voiced agreement and stood to join him. The gang gathered and climbed the hill together. Grace felt as if they were heading to an execution. She wondered how many people were coming with to see if Shane snapped again and how many of them would stop him if he did.

Jim seemed to be digging randomly but Dale was right, they did look like graves. Grace was glad to see Jim was at least wearing his ball cap. The sun was beating down and sweat poured down his face. The group assembled a short distance from the furthest hole but Shane stepped right up. “Hey Jim.” He tilted his head as he considered the man who was still digging, completely oblivious to his audience. “Jim, why don’t you hold up alright? Just give me a second here, please?”

Jim forced the shovel with even more strength into the dirt and freed a clump of turf. He impaled the ground a second time and turned to regard Shane with a glare. “What do you want?”

Shane raised his hand defensively. “We’re all just a little concerned, man, that’s all.”

“Dale says you’ve been out here for hours.” Morales added.

Grace took a step forward, which brought her parallel with Shane’s left side. “It’s hot out Jim. Surely you want a break?”

“Not really.” Jim rubbed his nose.

“Why’re you diggin’? Shane asked bluntly. “Are you headin’ to China?” He laughs at his own joke.

“What does it matter?” Jim swung his arm out. “I’m not hurting anyone.” He freed the shovel, leaning down to gather more dirt. 

“Except maybe yourself.” Dale turned to Grace for confirmation and she nodded.

“You’re going to get heatstroke. When was the last time you had water?” She looked around for any sign of a water bottle but if Jim had brought one with him, it was long forgotten.

“It’s 100 degrees today.” Dale reminded. “You can’t keep this up.”

“Sure I can. Watch me!” Jim’s voice was almost gleeful.

“He’s going to kill himself.” Grace whispered “We’ve got to do something.”

“Now you want me to step in?” Shane hissed back.

She narrowed his eyes. “We tried talking, it’s not working. Now we try the next step.”

Lori pushed her way in between the trio. “Jim, they’re not gonna say it so I will. You’re scaring people. You’re scaring my son and Carol’s daughter.”

“They got nothing to be scared of.” Jim’s voice cracked a little with concern.

“I think the bigger concern is that Jim’s going to kill himself.” Grace spoke over Lori. “Take the kids back to camp. Shane and I will handle Jim and get him cooled down.”

“I’m fine!” Jim insisted. “I was up here all alone. Why don’t you people just go away and leave me the hell alone.”

“Because whatever it is you’re digging these holes for, it’s not worth doing yourself damage.”

Shane nodded in agreement, “We think you need to take a break, okay? Why don’t you go and get yourself in the shade?” Jim ignored Shane’s suggestion and continued digging his hole. “Some food maybe?” there was still no reaction from Jim. He forced the shovel down, lifted the clump free and dumped the freed earth beside the hole. “ Tell you what, maybe in a little bit I’ll come out here and help you myself, if you’d just tell me what it’s about.” Shane looked pointedly at Jim for a second, almost knowing that his offer of help wouldn’t be taken seriously. It was a long shot anyway. He held out his hand, “why don’t you just give me the shovel?”

Jim reacted to that. He stabbed angrily and then turned to Shane. “Or what?” He demanded.

“There is no ‘or what’,” Shane insisted. “I’m asking you. I’m coming to you and I’m asking you, please. I don’t want to have to take it from you.”

“Just give him the shovel.” Grace begged. “We’re not trying to start something. We just want to get you out of the heat before you do serious damage.”

“And if I don’t, then what?” He smirked at Grace, “Then he’s gonna beat my face in like Ed Peletier?”

Behind them Sophia whimpered and Carol gasped. Grace looked to see her covering her daughter’s ears and pulling the girl away from the group. The fun times were apparently over.

“Ya’ll seen his face, huh? What’s left of it!” Shane hung his head at Jim’s accusation as if collecting his thoughts. 

“That was uncalled for.” Grace frowned. “You’re upsetting people.”

“People got a right to know. You called them out already.”

“And I was being unreasonable as well. This is a different situation. You need to stop.”

“He shouldn’t interfere! He is not judge and jury. Who made you king boss?” Jim spat at Shane and the officer took a step forward.

“I’m not here to argue with you, Jim. Just give me the shovel.” Shane reached for the tool and Jim spun around trying to hit Shane with the shovel. Everyone took a collective step backward as Shane began to scuffle to gain the upper hand. As Shane threw himself forward and knocked Jim to the ground, he wrenched the shovel away from the other man and tossed it to the side. Jim continued to thrash as if he were fighting for his life but Shane stayed calm. “Easy, Jim. No one’s gonna hurt you.” Jim whimpered and began to crack. Shane pulled his arms behind his back and the man below him went limp. “Jim, Jim, no one’s gonna hurt you.” He tried to soothe.”

“That’s a lie.” Jim sobbed. “That’s the biggest lie there is.” He twisted so he could look up at the man pinning him down. There were tears in his eyes. “I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it a hundred times but it didn’t matter. They came out of nowhere, there were dozens of them.”

“Okay everyone,” Grace turned around and threw her hands in the air, shooing people away. “Time to go back to camp. I think Jim needs a little space right now.”

Carol was the first to turn, still clutching Sophia to her chest she drew the little girl away from the crowd. Whitney turned quickly as well and was followed by her husband. Lori followed Carol’s example and drew Carl away despite that the boy kept looking over his shoulder at Shane as the man held down and handcuffed Jim. 

“They just pulled them right out of my hands.” Jim whispered, face pressed into the grass. “You know, the only reason I got was ‘cause the dead were too busy eating my family.”

Everyone’s footsteps faltered and Grace had to shoo them away once more. 

“Do you need any help?” Morales wondered, he seemed nervous to be asking. 

Grace shook her head, “Go see you family.”

The Hispanic man nodded and hurried after the others back down to camp with Dale following behind him. 

Jim sighed, completely destroyed and Shane slowly helped him to his feet. “You alright there man?” Shane wondered.

Jim just nodded slowly. “I think I need to sit down somewhere.”

“We’ll get you some water.” Grace offered.

They brought him down to camp and helped set him up against a tree. All the fight had gone out of Jim and when Shane tried to insist, Grace told him that Jim wouldn’t be any trouble and to undo the handcuffs. Shane suggested they should tie him up and Grace turned that idea down as well. She sent him for a bucket of water as she brushed him off. “He’s not a captive. He’s a human being.”

Shane nodded swiftly and stood. Across the camp, Lori and Carol tried to set up a math lesson for Carl and Sophia. Morales seemed to have taken his own children as far away from Jim as was possible. At least someone was clever. When Shane returned with the metal pail filled with water, Grace set it beside her and filled a blue mug first. Shane held out a cloth. “Got this too.”

“Thanks. We’ll get him to drink something first and then try cooling him down the rest of the way.” She brought the mug to Jim’s lips and he drank greedily. “Slowly.” She insisted.

“Easy buddy,” Shane soothed beside her. 

Jim swallowed thickly. “Can you pour some on my head?” 

“Yeah,” She nodded and filled the mug again, pouring it over Jim’s hair. Shane offered up the cloth and she wet it before handing it to Jim, who wiped his face down. 

“How long are you gonna keep me like this?” Jim wondered.

“Until we don’t think you’re a danger to yourself or others.” Shane replied in a calm voice and Jim just nodded. 

“I’ll stay with and keep you company.” Dale smiled. “I’d just like to know what you were digging for? Can you say?”

Jim looked across the clearing and at the children. “Had a reason. Don’t remember. Somethin’ I dreamt last night. I’m sorry if I scared you.” He offered to the children. 

Lori patted her son. “That’s alright. Nobody’s blaming you. You had sunstroke.”

“Shane,” Grace looked at Shane pointedly and the man nodded.

“Alright, who wants to help me clean some fish?” He looked at Carl and the boy jumped at the opportunity.

“Sweet! Come on Sophia.”

Grace held her breath as Lori reluctantly agreed and sent Carol along to watch after the children and make sure they didn’t get into to too much trouble. “Stay with Carol.” She insisted as the two scampered off after Shane. 

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me that Carter was workin’ at William’s again?”

Merle looked up at his little brother with a bored expression. He pulled his cigarette out from between his lips and tapped it against the side of his chair. “What’d ya mean?”

“Monkey told me she served you assholes last night.”

“Still not seein’ yer point there, Darylina. You gonna make it soon or do I gotta play 20 fuckin’ Questions?”

“You should have told me.”

“Ooooh!” Merle sneered as Daryl glared at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Nuh-uh baby brother. You still like her. It’s been what, three years since you fucked her? And yet yer still hung up on that piece uh tail. She don’t give a fuck about you. Not then an’ sure as shit not now. Got a ring on her finger an’ e’r’thin’. Got some hot shot in the city.”

“Yer lying.”

Merle spat off the porch and hauled himself up to look his brother in the eye. “Face it, ya’ve never been the one she was waitin’ for.”

\---

“When are they going to be back?” Grace whined flipping a piece of fish in the oil so the other side could brown as well.

Amy shrugged and poked at another pan with as stick. “It’ll be dark soon. They weren’t this late yesterday.”

“I’ve got this sinking feeling something went wrong. This should be a celebration feast. We’ve got all this food for once and there’s nothing to celebrate. I just want them back safe.”

“The men will be back soon enough.” Lori had a pot of wild vegetables balanced between two towels they were using as oven mitts. “How’s the fish looking?”

“I think we can all sit down to eat in about ten minutes.” Grace smiled. “I just sent Shane to go get Jim and Dale. I’m going to finish up this pan and then we can start serving.”

“Carl,” Lori called to her son. “You and Sophia go inside the camper and get the plates and cutlery please.”

The two children ran inside quickly and when they came back out there was already serving dishes and plenty of food to go around. Grace filled her plate but only managed a few bites before her stomach rolled. She looked around camp. Everyone was having a good time and no one seemed to be worried at all that five members of their group were still unaccounted for. Lori caught her eye from across the fire and came to join her.

“Trouble eating?”

“My stomach’s is turning. Why are they so late? It’s dark out and we still haven’t heard anything from them.”

“It’s killing me too. I just got Rick back and now he’s gone off again.” Lori stirred her food around on her plate. “I just can’t think about something going wrong. They’ll be back.” She locked eyes with Grace. “They have to be. Eat up, we can’t waste all this good food.”

Grace tried her best to smile and forced herself to take another mouthful. Lori was right, she needed the food and if it wasn’t eaten it would all be rotten by tomorrow morning. It was a painfully slow process but she cleared her plate and then quickly fixed a plate for each of her boys. They would be starving when they came back, Merle especially. She hoped that he’d managed to find some kind of water over night. Maybe it was taking so long because they had to help Merle along. Maybe he was in far worse shape than she was picturing him. Maybe someone else was hurt. She tucked the plates away, putting them safely in the RV and then coming back to sit at the campfire. 

The group was teasing Dale about winding his watch. They were so calm, so happy, so unconcerned. Full bellies meant happy hearts.

“You are so weird.” Amy shook her head sadly at Dale.

“It’s not me, it’s Faulkner.” Dale insisted with a small smile. “William Faulkner. Maybe my bad paraphrasing.”

Grace had only caught the tail end of it but she had to smile. Personally counting the hours would have made the time pass so much slower. She wondered just how long the man had actually been gone. Eight hours? Nine? Knowing wouldn’t bring them back sooner. 

Across the circle Amy put down her mug and stood. Her sister looked up from her plate. “Where are you going?”

“I have to pee.” Amy stage whispered. “Jeeze, you try to be discrete around here.”

Everyone at the circle giggled at the banter between sisters. Grace picked up her own mug, the tea was weak, too much water for the few tea bags they had left but at least it wasn’t plain old water and it was warm. Andrea and a few others had managed to gather up the last of the beer but Grace couldn’t bring herself to drink it. When Merle and Daryl got back, she promised herself. Then she would have one. The three of them could sit down and drink beers while Merle ranted and rambled about being left on the roof. He was going to be some pissed when he got back to camp.

“And Carl is all mopey when he brings me this note, so I’m sure he’s been kicked out of school or worse.”

“Mom!” Carl protested, clearly embarrassed by the story. 

“It’s funny, Carl. One day you’ll laugh about it.” Lori smiled at her son.

“Not laughing now.” He grumbled. 

Shane leaned over and ruffled Carl’s hair. “It ain’t so bad.”

Bitterly the boy swatted Shane’s hands away. “Says you.”

“So what did the note say?” Andrea wondered. 

“I’m glad you asked.” Lori nodded. “It read, and I quote, ‘Carl will not be allowed out for recess tomorrow as he has detention for chasing after the girls and trying to kiss them.’ My five year old got detention for repeatedly chasing after girls to try and kiss them.”

The entire group laughed and poor Carl folded his arms over his knees and hid his face.

“We’re out of toilet paper.” Amy’s impatient voice came through the camp but everyone was too busy laughing to care. Then suddenly her words turned to screams. Everyone stopped what they were doing as heads snapped around toward the RV. Standing beside Amy was a dishevelled man with greasy hair and a distinctive walk. He had bitten a chunk out of the arm Amy had used to open the camper door. Grace’s heart began to race. 

Walkers.

Two more stumbled around the RV, advancing quickly on the group. Everyone sprung to their feet as the screams across the camp began. 

“MOM!” Carl shouted, diving for him mother.

Carol yanked Sophia to her feet and pulled her close, eyes wildly searching for a safe area. 

“LORI, GET HIM DOWN!” Shane’s voice rang across camp and Lori threw herself over her son as Shane opened fire over their heads.

Grace’s fingers quickly extracted her gun from her jeans. She was so happy to have it now, so pleased that she hadn’t become too comfortable here. She stepped between the Peletier women as two walkers approached and aimed carefully taking the two out with only three shots. It wasn’t difficult to hit the head when they were this close. Behind her Shane fired more times and shouted for them to head for the RV. “Go!” She pushed Carol. “I’m right behind you.”

Her eyes darted around for Claire, finding the girl had picked up an ax but was unable to swing it. Instead she was using the head to push the snapping jaws away from her face. Grace ran to her and threw her body weight against the monster, knocking it to the ground. Claire stumbled backward and took a second to regain her balance before lifting the ax swiftly and driving it downward. The walker stopped trying to get back up and lay limp. Grace reached over and shoved Claire’s arm pushing her in the direction of the RV. “Go! Go! Go!” She chanted.

Somewhere Eliza was screaming and Morales shouted, “I’m coming, baby!” 

Andrea’s keen pierced through the din and Grace realized the other woman had made it to her sister. 

“Get to the RV.” Morales swung his bat, saving his family and pushing them away again almost immediately. Grace looks for Carol and Sophia and is glad to see they’ve made their way to Shane, Carl and Lori. Shane shoots a walker directly in front of them when Lori shouts. 

“Come on! Make your way to me!” Shane called, directing the group. “Make your way to the Winnebago.”

The gunshots came from behind her and Claire startled stepping against Grace. Grace threw her arms around the girl, manoeuvring them forward. She pushed to Miranda and the kids, backing them against one of the vehicles, praying to god nothing can fit underneath it and crawl to them. It was too narrow to get under most cars and this one seems to be a safe bet. It was only as she was scanning the carnage for a clear path to the RV that she notices Glenn, awkwardly holding a gun and pointing it at a walker. His shot was sloppy but the creature falls and he double tapped when it collapsed on the ground.

If Glenn was back that meant the rest of the group was. They must have heard the shots and come running. 

“The door’s unlocked.” Claire tugged on Grace’s shirt. 

“What?” Grace turned to see Claire had opened the door to the car they’re leaning against. Quickly Grace pushed Claire back a step and pulled the door open the rest of the way. Miranda shielded her children by directing them ahead of her and Grace was glad for the hatchback as the kids scrambled over the backseat. 

Rick Grimes ran into camp screaming at the top of his lungs for Lori and Carl. Behind him, T-Dog opted to use his rifle as a battering ram and drove it over and over again into a body on the ground. The officer turned and caught a walker as it staggered closer to T. There were fewer walkers standing now. Most were on the ground. 

Slowly the echoing gunfire trickled off and Carl shouted back to his father. Rick rushed over to him, engulfing the boy in a bone crushing hug. Jacquie had grabbed both T-Dog and Glenn around the neck and was squishing them together in a tight hug. 

“GRACE!?” Daryl’s voice rang across the night. Where was he? She scrambled to unlock the door as her eyes finally locked onto him frantically searching. He spotted her just a moment before she found him. Daryl broke into a run toward her, abandoning his brother at the edge of the destroyed camp. She was barely out of the car before he threw himself at her with such force that it knocked the wind out of her and she gasped against him. 

“Yer okay. Yer okay. Yer okay.” His fingered tightened in her shirt as he chanted to reassure both her and himself. She had never been happier to see him. 

\---

Grace was less than impressed when Merle showed up on her Monday night shift as well. He was the last person she wanted to see. Her mom had already called to say the doctors had phoned earlier and rescheduled their morning appointment for two hours later. That meant that Grace had to reschedule her shift the next afternoon. 

“Yo Carter.” He grined. “Look who I brought you.”

Daryl stood nervously between two tables as if he was unsure if Grace would want to see him at all. 

“Hey Grace.” He mumbled, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“He found out you was in town and Darylina just couldn’t shut-up ‘bout ya! ‘Could you?” He elbowed his brother hard in the side. Daryl winced. “Well go talk to her. Kathleen’s gonna pour me a drink.” The older Dixon smirked at the bartender and she started serving him immediately, knowing his drink. Merle belched as he settled himself down on a bar stool. 

Grace walked around the table that’s between them but stopped just short of Daryl. “So how have you been?” she asked. It had been months since they last talked. 

“Good. Sorry ‘bout yer mum. I heard.”

“It’s alright.”

Daryl shifted nervously from foot to foot. “So you working back here then?”

“Yeah.” Already they’ve run out of things to say. Instead they just stare at each other nervously. Finally he throws his hands up in the air. “Aw fuck it.” He grabbed Grace and pulled her against him in a firm embrace. 

\---

Grace sank into Daryl’s embrace and cried against his shoulder.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen  
All around them the night was still, except for the voices of those who survived the attack, calling out to each other and crying at their collective loss. The camp lay in ruins. The bodies of the fallen camp members were almost indistinguishable from the bodies of walkers. They were heaped together where they fell. Tents were shredded from where the walkers had clawed through the fabric to get at the people inside. Several of the vehicles now bore bloodied smears from the walkers pressing their bodies against them. In the background, a few flames were still flickering as if nothing had happened. All the chairs that they were sitting in were now abandoned or toppled over. Some of them were leaning dangerously close to the flames.

T-Dog leaned down and picked up one of the chairs to keep it from lighting aflame. "Was that the last of them?"

Shane swung his rifle from right to left, still completely on edge. "Does anyone see any more? I don't see any more."

"Who made it?" Glenn spoke-up, halting his pacing to stare nervously into the darkness around the camp.

Behind her and Daryl, Claire scrambled out of the car. The teenager stood beside them swaying just a little on her feet, staring blankly at Andrea and Amy beside the camper. "Amy?" She whispered.  
Daryl's arm tightened around Grace. "She's gone, kid." He mumbled, lifting one hand as if he wanted to comfort Claire as well, but after a pause he brought it around Grace again instead. Grace pushed herself a little closer to Daryl, desperately needing the body contact.

A low groan broke through the silence of the survivors and one of the corpses on the ground began to move. "Fuckin' hell!" Merle snarled. He quickly freed an ax from where it was embedded one of the logs Shane used for splitting wood, and swung it down on the body. The wet slurp and crack of splintering bone brought an end to the animal sounds the walker had been making. "Told you people I needed a gun. Musta missed the brain," he muttered. "Jesus Christ, bodies fuckin' e'erywhere. It's too damn dark to clean 'em up tonight."

"Everyone sleeps in the vehicles tonight." Rick nodded, looking around to the few survivors. "Pull them as close together as we can get so we don't have as big an area to watch. We don't need to lose anyone else tonight..." He trailed off.

"Sorta like you lost me up there on that roof?" Merle sneered, kicking the body at his feet.  
Rick glared at Merle but didn't respond to his comment. Instead, he continued to address the group at large. "No one goes anywhere without a weapon of some sort, but I don't think we should just be passing out guns willy-nilly. We sleep tonight and deal with this mess in the morning."

"What if there are more? How are we supposed to sleep?" Lori stood in the doorway of the RV, staring down her husband. "You don't honestly expect us to sleep."

"Lori, settle down. You're going to get Carl worked up." Rick sighed. "We'll just have to do our best to stay in sight of the camp and not go wandering off on our own."

"I'll stay up. Stand guard." Shane offered. "Probably won't sleep much even if I tried." His gaze didn't move from Lori and she shifted uncomfortably.

"You took watch last night." Grace interrupted. "How much did you sleep then?"

"I took over around two," Dale added, "but you were back by 5:30. You need to get some rest."

Shane glared. "That's none of your business."

"Is that true?" Rick looked at his friend with concern. "Get some rest, Shane. We'll take shifts sleeping."

"Can I have a gun now, Officer Friendly?" Merle was smirking. "Have ta be able to protect myself, don't I?"

Everyone turned to look at Merle who was leaning on the ax, his expression smug.

"No." Rick answered bluntly and turned back to the group.

Merle faltered. "No?"

"You heard me. I don't need to worry about you trying to kill us all in our sleep."

The older Dixon brother lifted the ax. "Let's get this right. Whole damn camp just got attacked and I ain't allowed to carry a weapon?"

"I'd rather face a walker."

"Fuck you, Grimes."

"Merle," Grace stepped forward. "Settle. We don't want any more trouble."

Merle wasn't listening though. His grip on the ax was firm as he lumbered forward shoving Grace out of the way. "I oughtta..."

The sound of a gun cocking halted his approach toward Rick. Shane stood with his rifle pointed straight at Merle with not a single shred of worry on his face. His features were set in a calm mask. "One more step and I end you."

Daryl lurched forward and Grace stopped him. "He's got to figure it out one way or another."

Merle opened his mouth to say something and then swayed unsteadily on his feet. In the slowly fading light from the fire Grace noticed how rough he looked. In the confusion of the evening she had almost totally forgotten that he had spent close to twenty-four hours on that roof.

"I'm gonna smash in yer face, pretty boy." Merle tried to look menacing but he stumbled.

"Has anyone gotten him some water?" Grace asked out loud only to be met with silence. She sighed and cast her eyes around the people that had gone to Atlanta finally stopping on Daryl.  
Daryl shrugged. "He drank some when we first found him. Dunno since."

"Merle," Grace spoke sharply and the man twitched, swinging his head to face her. "When was the last time you had something to drink?"

"You worried about me, Carter?"

"Shut-up and answer the question."

"I'm fine." He insisted, rubbing his sweat-soaked hair with his hand. It wasn't until then that Grace caught sight of the blue bandana wrapped tightly around his wrist.  
Grace took a step closer and Merle backed away from her. Still not sure of what was happening Shane kept the gun trained on them until Rick reached up a hand and lowered it. "What happened to your wrist, Merle."

"Told you I was fuckin' fine." He snapped at her, eyes wild.

"You don't exactly look it." She scoffed, taking a step closer. This time he didn't back away from her and she got a much better look. "Shit you're messed up." Up close his sunburn was not pretty. He had probably managed to get some shade for part of the day but the combination of sun and heat had done a number on him. "How about you beat the crap out of Shane later and we get you some water."

For a moment it looked like Merle was going to protest but Daryl caught him under the arm and between Daryl supporting him and Grace's gentle teasing to stop being such a pussy about it, they retreated back to the truck. Behind them, Grace heard Rick beginning to divide up sleeping places and setting up who would take watch.

"We'll get you taken care of and then we'll move the truck over." Grace told Merle.

Merle mumbled, "Ya ain't gotta be so fuckin' worried 'bout me," but Grace just shrugged it off.

She dropped the tailgate and pointed to it. "Up."

"Fine. Jesus, woman, yer bossy!"

There wasn't time to argue with him, so Grace simply ignored his attempts to get her going and sent Daryl for a bucket of fresh water, a mixing bowl, salt, vinegar, clean towels, fresh clothes for Merle, and the food she had tucked away for them in the RV. With Merle settled and Daryl collecting the things she wanted, Grace got the solar lamp and hung it from the roof of the truck so she could see better.

"Shirt off," she instructed.

Merle leered as best he could. "That why you sent Daryl away? Wanted to get me nekkid."

It was difficult to take him serious with his words all slurred together the way they were. "Ease up, Merle. We've just got to get you taken care of. I don't have time for you to be a pervert." His eyes narrowed and he shrugged his vest down his shoulders, tossing it to the side. The shirt gave him a little more trouble. She could tell he was struggling with the buttons; his right hand clumsy, fingers swollen. Without a word between them, she helped him take the shirt off completely. He crossed his arms when they finished and Grace had to persuade him to let her see his injury. "Give me your hand." Stubbornly he held out his left hand and Grace rolled her eyes. "The other one, smarty-pants."

Reluctantly Merle held out the wrist wrapped in the bandana and Grace carefully peeled back the makeshift bandage. It was crusted with dried blood, sweat, and dirt. When she dropped it on the tailgate, it held the half curved shape of his wrist. The skin underneath was hot to the touch and already smelled faintly of infection. Encircling his wrist was a thick band of raw skin where the handcuffs had been rubbed in his attempts to free himself and in several places, the skins was broken open. The most troubling part of the site though, was the deep gash on his wrist directly under his thumb, which had cracked open again when the bandage was removed and was trickling blood. They probably hadn't been able to make much of an attempt to clean it because everything about his arm was filthy.

Merle sucked in air through his teeth as she tried to turn the arm to get a better look. "Watch it."

"What the hell happened?"

He looked away but Grace managed to catch his eyes. "Mosta that's from the cuffs." He insisted.

Grace shook her head. "And this right here." She hovered her index finger over the gash.

"I couldn't get the cuffs off. Wasn't gonna stay up there so I had ta do somethin'."

She stared down at the gash trying to figure out if Merle was saying what she thought he was saying. "You didn't?"

"Hacksaw wouldn't cut through the metal." He nodded. "Too dull."

"So you tried to cut your hand off."

The man simply shrugged as if he didn't realize just how disturbing the thought of someone cutting off their own hand was. "Gave up when I figured out nothin' could get through the door. Woulda been cuttin' a whole lot faster if I had more in my system. Guess I oughtta thank ya fer takin' my stash."

Had she not have taken the drugs from Merle, they would be deal with blood loss and an amputation on top of the other problems that Merle was suffering from. How would he have managed to not die of blood loss? Where would he have gone? How could he live in a world where he needed to defend himself at every turn if he had a missing limb? He really could have died. The thought of Daryl returning to save his brother and instead finding only a hand made her stomach turn.

"Mind givin' me it back."

"What?" Grace looked up suddenly, she'd been so lost in pondering Merle's imminent doom that she forgot he was right in front of her, waiting to be taken care of.

He narrowed his eyes and spoke slowly, "I want my stash back, Gracie."

Grace swallowed. The stash. The one she had dumped out, washed away, and buried. He couldn't have that back. What was left was safely tucked away in the RV where Merle would be noticed if he went after it. "We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Awww, come on." He whined. "It's been days, woman. Need somethin' ta take the edge off." Merle Dixon, whining like a spoiled child. He must have been really desperate and it was only going to get worse when there really was nothing for him to take.

"Ya don't need nothin', Merle." Daryl carried the armload of supplies towards the truck. His voice was almost menacing but there was a lighter, more soothing edge to it. He was worried about Merle. "Ya can have a smoke when Grace gets done with you."

"Fuck you," Merle snarled. "I ain't no kid you gotta give a lolly to if I behave myself for the nurse."

Grace rested her hand on his forearm, feeling the skin jump under it. Everything about Merle was tense and hot to the touch right then. He must have felt like shit. If she had a thermometer she would check to be sure he was running a fever but she didn't and, more to the point, she couldn't see Merle holding something under his tongue. "Drink and then we'll talk." She passed Merle one of the three water bottles Daryl had brought with him.. They were resealed and slightly off coloured from being quarry water, but they always boiled it first so it was safe to consume. When Merle finished half of the bottle, she told him to strip down to his underwear. Daryl just rolled his eyes when Merle tried another crude joke. It was late and they all just wanted to go to bed but Merle needed to be washed up and treated before she could leave him on his own for the night.

His hair was plastered to his skull, the sweat had run tracks down the dirt that covered his body, and his skin radiated heat. The pills she had were nowhere near as strong as Merle's but she pulled out the bottle anyway. The remains of Merle's stash were safely tucked away and in his condition she didn't want him knowing where. She shook a couple of the white pills out onto her palm and held them out to him.

"What're those?"

Daryl snorted. "Never heard you say that before."

"Just take them." Grace insisted and he rattled them around in his meaty paw for a minute before throwing his head back and swallowing. He chased them with what was left in the nearly empty bottle in his hand. "Now let's get you washed off." Daryl watched out of the corner of his eye, the plate on his lap half-eaten, as Grace helped Merle get cleaned up, and tossed him a towel to dry off. His boxers were soaked from the sponge bath and he stripped out of them giving her a smirk. She reached into the pile of clothes Daryl had brought back for him and held out a fresh pair.

"Yer no fun, Gracie. Not even a blink." He shook his hips at her and Grace watched Daryl tense.

She just shrugged. "I've seen far more impressive." Grace suggestively tipped her head toward his brother and Merle laughed. Daryl hung his head as his cheeks turned pink but Grace saw the small smile dance across his lips before his face dropped out of view. She gave the boxers another shake in Merle's direction. "Put them on."

"Fine," he grunted, snatching them from her hand and tugging them up over his hips.

While he was putting on the underwear, she mixed a handful of salt into a bucket of water. The first aid kit had moved to the back of the truck when she started treating Rick's wound so she pulled that out as well. Taking the injured arm, carefully she set his hand on her knee and grabbed a clean rag from the pile. She washed the area with salt water before she ripped open an antiseptic cloth and wiped the area down with that. Merle's fingers danced against her as she worked. Every movement she made sent him twitching, though he tried not to show it. With the area cleaned, she covered the whole thing in Neosporin, then wrapped his wrist in gauze, before tying the ends into place.

The wrist treated, Grace held out a second water bottle. "You've got to drink some more. I want to make sure you're well hydrated."

The man in front of her sighed but took the bottle anyway, drinking a healthy swallow. The sunburn was harder to treat. It looked better with the dirt off it, but without the layer of dust covering his skin, his skin also looked brighter. He needed something to treat the burns, but most of the lamps had been turned off save for the one Shane and Dale were using on top of the RV, so Grace assumed everyone else was sleeping. She would ask around tomorrow to see if anyone had something, like aloe, to properly treat the sunburn. Once more, she checked to see if there were any open blisters but found none. It was a blessing that Merle was already well tanned from having spent so much time in the sun. The sunburn would have been a lot worse on someone paler like Andrea or even Glenn - someone whose skin wasn't used to the sun beating down on them.

Since there was no open skin, Grace rubbed down the sunburn with vinegar, which Merle complained about but Grace knew would make it feel better in the long run. She wouldn't have tried it if there was open skin, but it did provide some relief because the skin wasn't broken. She made him finish the rest of the bottled water after pulling on a clean pair of jeans. Daryl had finished eating his supper and gave Grace a quick kiss on the cheek as thanks before getting her to pack up everything she had used to treat Merle and parking the truck into place.

Grace and Daryl crawled into the back of the truck while Merle settled into the cab with his dinner. Though both men insisted it wasn't needed, Grace opened the small window between the two so she could keep an ear out for Merle during the night.

"Where're ya goin', Gracie?"

The voice startled her when she opened the back of the truck, not expecting someone to be sitting at their small fire pit, waiting for her to leave the truck. Daryl was gone. She'd been startled at first to wake-up alone, but not overly surprised. He had slept restlessly all night, tossing and turning. Grace was sure his mind was running on overdrive and he just wanted to be away from everyone for a while. "Hello Merle."

"Asked ya where ya was goin'."

"I've got to pee. Surely that's allowed?"

Merle chuckled from the back of the truck. "Go get Daryl. Not goin' nowhere by yerself and I ain't babysittin' you while you go find somewhere ta squat."

A month ago, he would have been asking to watch. "I'm not scared of you peeking. You've got more class than that."

Merle held up his hand and wiggled his little finger. "In the nail uh my pinky finger. I ain't some sort of pervert."

"Sure you aren't." Grace elbowed him jokingly when she pushed past him, climbing out of the truck. "Where is Daryl?"

The older Dixon smiled at the light jab. He seemed better after a full night's sleep, less shaky, but without a shirt she could see the thick red division between sun exposed skin and what had been hidden under his clothing. They'd need to get some aloe on it, it had to hurt like a bitch. "Gone somewhere with his bow an' arrows."

"So how exactly am I supposed to get him to come with me to go pee?"

Merle raised an eyebrow.

"Either I'm going by myself or you're coming with." Grace shrugged. "I've got a gun; you don't."

"Five minutes an' I'm comin' ta find ya." He grunted.

"I'll be back in four and then I'll check your wrist," she smiled. She wanted to get a better look in the daylight to see just what damage he'd done to himself. There hadn't been nearly enough light the night before. It was probably deep enough that she should have stitched it, but not knowing what exactly he'd gotten in there and how long it had been open, she'd just left it. "And don't go starting any fights. You're lucky that Rick is man enough to go back for your sorry ass."

Merle's angelic leer should have frightened her a lot more than it did.

\---

No one but the children ate breakfast the next morning. All around them the bodies were already starting to ferment. Grace checked Rick's side before okaying him to work with firm instructions to keep the area clean of anything even vaguely related to the walkers.

"No heavy lifting." She said for the third time.

Rick shook his head. "We've got to get these bodies moved though."

Grace frowned, "Someone else can do it."

"I got it, man." Shane patted Rick's shoulder. "We don't need you putting yourself outta commission over this. There's plenty you can do to help."

"Mom!" Carl was whining. "I don't want to stay in the RV. I want to help."

Lori paced anxiously turning back and forth between her son and the corpses that littered the camp. They'd pulled the vehicles back as far as possible to give them lots of room to work, but it also meant that each mound of fabric and dead flesh was clearly visible. "You need to stay inside, Carl. I don't need to have to worry about you too."

Miranda stuck her head out of the RV. She and Claire already had Eliza, Louis, and Sophia inside. "Come on in Carl. There will be plenty to do later."

Carl looked disappointed but reluctantly went off into the RV. The Hispanic woman smiled gently at Lori over her shoulder as she pulled the door closed.

"Where do we even start?" Glenn looked around. "There's so many."

"We've gotta burn the bodies." Shane took off his ball cap and shook his hair out of his eyes. Already the sweat was beading on his forehead. It was going to be a scorcher.

The Korean looked around the camp once more and shook his head. "I don't think that's right. These people were our friends."

The officer snorted and dropped to one knee beside the body of a walker. His hands were already covered in work gloves so when he yanked a decomposing arm up it wasn't as gross as it could have been. With a wet pop the arm pulled free of the body. Even Shane jumped back a little of that but he held his own. "Was Corpse Bride here one of your friends?"

"She's lying on top of Andrew." Glenn pointed out the body beneath her.

Friendly, smiling Andrew who tried far too hard to be friends with everyone, even Daryl. Grace covered her hand with her mouth to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

The younger man's hands shook but he took another braver step forward. "Andrew who used to do card tricks and made you laugh."

"Whatever." Shane dropped the arm back onto the body. "We can't keep bodies laying around all day."

It was Rick who spoke up first. "We could bury them. You said Jim was digging holes yesterday." Rick glanced around camp looking for Jim. "Are they deep enough?"

Jim nodded slowly, "Should be. Don't exactly know if there are enough."

Shane looked between his best friend and the walker he called Corpse Bride. "Nuh-uh. No way am I taking the time to bury all these bastards. We are not responsible for burying all these... things."

"We are responsible for our own though." Rick shook his head. "We can bury them."

"And when they come back and decide to get bitey?"

THUD.

Daryl smirked when everyone jumped. He had swung a pickax down into the ground was now standing proudly at the edge of camp. "Take care uh 'em then. 'Fore somethin' goes worse 'en wrong."

"You're implying that we should start smashing in skulls." Shane rolled his eyes.

"Ain't so much implyin' as tellin'." He stormed over to one of the bodies and swung the ax down hard into the skull of one of the walkers that attacked camp, the spiked end cracking wetly into the brain cavity. "We oughta drag e'ery body we can find out here into this open space an' make sure none uh them is comin' back."

Lori covered her mouth with her hand, looking more grey than she had all morning. When she made a small retching sound, Shane looked at her concerned. "Mind havin' a little tact?"

"Why should he?" Grace asked. "So someone else can get bitten?"

Rick jumped in, not wanting to start another argument. "There's got to be some better way. We are not desecrating bodies."

Merle's laugh broke through the camp. He looked quite the sight: shirtless and sweating, his eyes wildly darting between the faces staring at him. Clearly he was enjoying himself as he openly reminded them what had been done. The red skin on his arms, neck, and face was a bright neon sign to remind everyone that he had been left on that roof, and the white wrapped around his wrist was a reminder of how it had happened. "When'd you get so concerned about bein' respectful, Grimes?"

"We can't act like animals. It's uncivilized going around smashing in skulls." The thought actually seemed to distress Rick more than the bodies lying haphazardly around camp; he wanted to remain a civilized society.

"What would you suggest then?"

"A clean shot through the brain? It's better than bludgeoning them."

The older Dixon rolled his eyes. "When my stupid baby brother's the smartest one out of all uh y'all somethin's damn wrong. None uh ya got a lick uh sense. Gun shots is only gonna attract more. Then we got a bigger problem on our hands. Can't leave 'em be 'cause then someone's gonna get bit for sure. Either gotta chop off the heads so we don't gotta worry about the bodies comin' at us or spike 'em one through the noggin'." He looked around, challenging anyone to say something different.

"Dixon's got a point." Dale murmured. "Maybe we should make sure they can't come back. After that we can bury our dead and burn the rest. There's nothing disrespectful about it. It's just common sense."

Merle nodded, eagerly. "See," he spat out.

"I'd prefer if we used Daryl's crossbow."

"Would take too long." Daryl mumbled. "Don't got all day."

"Jesus," Merle rolled his eyes. "If yer so damned worried about gettin' yer hands a little grubby, we'll do it. Daryl an' me will spike 'em all and you can sit there in yer little bubble an' cry 'bout how life ain't fair." He stormed over to the woodpile and freed the ax. As if to make a point, he picked a body lying on the ground and aimed, driving the ax hard into its skull. "One down." He snarled. "Someone get a fire goin' so we can take care uh this mess."

 

\---

The flames were low, they didn't want the pile to get too high and out of control. They were lucky that there was a good breeze blowing and that they could set the fire downwind of camp. The bodies stunk. They were bad enough laying scattered across the camp, but in one concentrated pile of decomposing and burning flesh, it was an olfactory nightmare. Walkers smelled terrible to begin with. It was a smell that hung in the air long after they were moved. Even with the smoke and stench blowing away from the camp, Grace had come very close to throwing up and she wasn't the only one.

True to their word, the Dixon brothers calmly removed any threat of reanimation while the others looked on. It was fact that it needed to be done by someone but everyone else was too trapped in the old world to do anything about it. T-Dog and Morales moved the bodies. Jim walked around camp playing a sick game of hide and seek - trying to find all of the attack sites around camp. Glenn insisted he was the most accustomed to the smell and volunteered to tend the fire. Grace was surprised that Rick and Shane didn't jump to take charge of the clean-up crew. Rick had the charisma while Shane had the attitude, but when it came to actually doing what needed to be done, their leadership skills fell a little short. Both puttered around camp and offered a hand when it was needed, but the real and literal dirty work was done by the other men.

Dale was the exception. He spent the morning hovering near Andrea and trying to coax her away from her sister's body. Even Lori tried but nothing seemed to work.

"That's awful." Grace mumbled as she brought water around to the men. She had driven down to the quarry with Jacqui, and they two had brought water up in the gallon pails the way Shane did. They boiled it down by the water's edge before filling the water bottles and bringing them back to camp. They didn't want to risk anything from camp getting into the water.

Daryl pulled the glove off of one hand and took the bottle she offered him gratefully. "They should jus' move her. We're waitin' here for her to turn an' then what? We gotta put 'em both down? Fuckin' waste uh time."

"It's sick waiting like this." She nodded. Daryl passed her the empty bottle back and his fingers lasted just a little longer than was needed. She gave him a quick, smile.

"Grace?" Jim mumbled as he shifted from one foot to the other a short distance off. "Mind comin' to check on somethin' with me?"

Daryl shifted, nostrils flaring but Grace shook her head. "What's the matter, Jim?" She smiled, trying to reassure Daryl that it was alright.

"It's Carol. Ed was... well he's in the tent and I don't want to disturb her none." He shifted again looking over at Andrea, clearly worried that they would have another similar situation on their hands.

"Damn." Daryl muttered, his eyes dropping to his feet. He looked sideways under his lashes at Grace before considering her expression of determination and sighing. "I'll come with." He turned to his brother across camp, "I'm goin' with Grace for a bit. Don't pull nothin' while I'm gone."

"Hey, ain't I always on my bes' behaviour?" Merle grinned, pushing a body over to Morales and T-Dog with his boot. It had taken some arguing but Grace had convinced him to put on a long sleeved shirt to keep the sunburn from getting any worse.

"Drink something." She shouted at him but the request was light hearted. He'd been a good patient so far. She just hoped he would stay that way. He was Merle though and it probably would only last until his body sorted itself out.

Jim lead them over to the Peletier's area of camp. The stones of their fire pit were scattered and the front of the tent was ripped open. Carol sat in the one lawn chair that wasn't tipped over. Ed's feet stuck out of the ten, one of his legs picked nearly clean and the other bearing several large bites. Grace stepped around to catch a better look inside and covered her mouth with her hand. The last time she had seen Ed he was pretty beaten up by Shane, now he was half gone. The walkers had clearly taken advantage of his inability to fight back and used him as a living buffet. It was a horrific sight. 

Daryl stepped up behind her pressing one warm hand to the base of her spine in reassurance. Carol hadn't even looked up.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled through her tears and Daryl startled at the sound of Carol's voice. "We should never have stayed. He caused so much trouble."

"No, no, no!" Grace pulled away from Daryl and knelt beside Carol. "You're not to blame."

"I should have sent him away." She chuckled almost darkly. "I was so worried that he wouldn't make it on his own and now he's dead here." Her cheeks were dry but red rimmed and glassy. "Sophia doesn't even know. I think she suspects, but I didn't tell her."

"I'll come with you if you want. We'll tell her together." Grace offered.

Daryl shifted, he was even more uncomfortable than Jim but it was him that spoke up. "I'll move him."

Carol nodded slowly and stood up, letting Grace take her by the arm and lead her away from the mutilated remains of her late husband. They walked in silence to the rest of the group. Lori stood to greet them but Grace shook her head and the other woman sat back down. The four children were sitting in the back of the RV with the blinds drawn. Claire had taken over reading Watership Down and Miranda was mending one of Eliza's dresses which had caught on the woodpile.

"Carol," the Hispanic woman smiled up at them, "How are you doing?"

"Alright thank-you. I'd like a moment to speak with Sophia."

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Go right ahead. She's your daughter after all."

"Right, of course." Carol nodded and the corner of her mouth twitched up for a second. "She's my daughter." She turned to the back of the RV and called to her daughter. "Sophia, come please. I need to talk with you."

Sophia looked torn between the story and her mother but did reluctantly get to her feet and creep forward. "Hello, Mama." The little girl chewed on her bottom lip.

"It's alright Sophia. You're not in any trouble." Grace reassured and Carol looked at her gratefully.

"We just need to have a talk."

"Is this about Daddy?" She whispered.

Her mother nodded but didn't comment. "Just come and sit with us up here a moment."

"Yes, Mama," Sophia whispered and obediently sat down in the passenger seat of the RV. Her mother took the driver's seat and Grace pulled the small curtain that separated the area from the main part of the RV. It didn't create a sound barrier but at least it did give the mother and daughter some privacy. Grace settled herself kneeling on the floor between the two. It was a tight squeeze but she managed it with limited discomfort.

"I don't know where to start." Carol whispered.

Grace's eyebrows furrowed, "Just start and we'll go from there."

Her hands rubbed together furiously but Carol sucked in a deep breath. "Sophia, we need to talk about something very important. Last night when... those monsters came into camp, God decided to   
take your Daddy up to heaven with him."

Sophia's eyes were swollen to the size of small dinner plates. "Is Daddy going to come back for us?"

"No, no, no! He's not coming back. We'll make sure of that. You don't need to worry."

"Okay." She nodded, thoughtfully.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Grace asked. "If you have any other questions you can ask your mom and me. We don't mind."

The little girl pinched her lips together and shook her head. "My daddy's dead but he's not going to come back. Carl wanted his daddy to come back but I don't. He'd be angry if he came back."

Carol sobbed at the honest words coming out of her daughter's mouth. Her eyes filled with tears and she choked back a sob. "I can't," she stuttered, "I need to go." Hurriedly, she pushed herself out of the chair and pushed past the curtain. Grace heard the door slam shut behind her as Carol rushed from the RV.

Sophia watched her retreating mother with a regretful look. She glanced at Grace as finally she began to sniffle. "It's alright!" Grace caught her quickly in a tight embrace. "Your mom's going to be fine. She just needs some time. It's hard when someone you love dies."

"She's sad." Sophia pulled back. "I made her sad. Daddy made Mama sad. She shouldn't be sad that he's gone because now we don't have to be scared." Conspiratorially, Sophia whispered in Grace's ear. 

"Mama said that God took Daddy to heaven. I don't think God would let him in." Her bottom lip trembled when Grace pulled back shocked. The two stared at each other for a moment before Grace recovered.

"Why do you say that, Sophia?"

"He only lets in good people. Daddy wasn't a good person. He was bad." She nodded as if the subject was final but her face dropped when Grace didn't answer her right away. "Please don't tell Mama I said that. She'll be sad. I don't want her to be sad anymore. Daddy made her cry. I don't want Mama to cry anymore"

Hurriedly, Grace rushed to reassure her, "It's alright to be mad, Sophia. It's alright to be sad though too. If you're sad about your dad then that's okay but if you don't want to then there's nothing wrong with that. You come to me if you need to talk about anything, okay?"

"Okay," She nodded. "Can I go listen to the story now?"

"Sure." Grace pulled back the curtain and Sophia scrambled out of the chair and rushed back toward the beds at the back of the RV. Miranda looked up when Sophia rushed past. Grace just stood leaning against the wall until Miranda came to join her.

"Are they alright?" She wondered. "Carol looked pretty upset."

"They'll work things out." Grace nodded. She didn't take her eyes off Sophia. The girl had curled in between Carl and Eliza on the bed. "Carol needs to grieve and Sophia will work things out. Children are very resilient."

\---

When Grace exited the camper, she barely had a chance to move six feet before Lori had rushed over to her. "What did you say to Carol?"

"Whoa!" Grace raised her hands to ward off the verbal assault. "What are you talking about?"

Lori lowered her voice and hissed, "Your crazy boyfriend gave her a pickax and now she's smashing in her husband's skull. She's lost her mind!"

"I don't see where exactly you're going with this," Grace narrowed her eyes, "but if you're trying to say that Carol shouldn't be taking care of herself then I'm very confused."

"'Taking care of herself.' Is that what you call it?"

"Yup, I'm pretty sure that's what I just said."

"She's bludgeoning him. It's barbaric! It's, it's, it's craziness. She's got to be stopped. We can't mutilate bodies." Lori was getting herself worked up into a frenzy. Rick seemed distracted with talking to Dale but Shane caught sight of Lori freaking out and walked over calmly.

"Lori, what's happenin'?"

"Carol's lost her mind."

Shane looked bemused but when his eyes locked on Carol sweating and crying as she smashed the pickax down over and over his jaw went slack. "My God." He yanked off his ball cap and jerked his fingers through his hair. "There's no way..."

"Someone's got to do something to stop her." Lori stepped toward Shane, reaching to grab him but the man stepped away from her.

"Slow down there, Lori." He sidestepped her. "You need to think about what you're doing."

Lori froze stunned at Shane's rejection. She glanced over at Grace who focused her full attention on Carol instead. With the other woman pretending to not know what was going to happen, Lori hissed at Shane, "Don't bring that up."

"Why not?" Shane grunted back. "You want someone to fight with, Lori, then you go to Rick. I ain't here for that shit." He turned and stormed off.

Lori frowned, her bottom lip trembling, "Why is he always so cruel?"

"You don't exactly give him many options. I saw how you took off for the quarry yesterday." Grace took a step back when Lori glared at her and added. "Just think about it. He's been there for you and Carl since well before this. You can't just go to him when you want your own way."

The dark haired woman nodded. "This stays between us right?"

"You don't need to worry about me saying anything. It's not my place to judge anyone else's relationship."

"What about Carol?"

"She'll be fine. Just working out some tension. She needs to grieve in her own way."

\---

"Jim's been bit." Rick came to Grace who was busy clearing out the back of the truck. They were going to leave and she knew it. Merle would start up again any moment now and this time if the group wasn't planning on moving with them, then she would leave with her boys. She knew more than now she needed to be able to depend on the people around her and trust in the area they were in. This camp wasn't safe anymore and she wouldn't spend another night there. Rick and Shane had already been arguing about if they should leave and where they would go if they did.

"Keep tellin' you that ain't her problem." Daryl's fists were clenched at his sides as he tried to hold in his frustration. "We oughta just put a bullet between his eyes and the girl's."

"He's not a rabid dog, Daryl. I keep telling you that. Grace is a nurse. Maybe she can keep him going until we get to the CDC. They could have a cure there."

Grace shook her head. "Rick, if there were a cure, don't you think someone would be out trying to find people to give it to them?"

"Maybe it doesn't work if you've already turned. Maybe you need to get it before you turn. I saw that helicopter. I'm telling you it was there, plain as day." Rick was practically pleading. "If we turn our backs on him now then where do we draw the line."

"The line's pretty clear." Daryl's body was tense. "Zero tolerance for walkers or them's to be."

"We can still make him comfortable."

Daryl opened his mouth to speak again but Grace jumped in before he could drag the argument further. "I'll try. I'll make him comfortable but I'm not making any promises. I can't do that. We don't know how long he has."

\---

They'd moved the children to Rick and Lori's tent and set up Jim in the back of the RV where Rick thought he would be the most comfortable and the most easy to protect from any group members who wanted to speed up the process. Jacqui was at his bedside attempting to help him wash off with a bucket of water.

"Hey Grace. Don't think I need a doctor quite yet." Jim attempted a smile. "I feel fine other than the throbbing in my side."

Daryl snorted from his position leaning against the bathroom door. "You oughta be grateful she's here at all."

Jim's face fell, "I didn't mean nothing by it."

"It's alright," Grace assured him. "I don't mind at all. Daryl's just worried about what's going to happen... later."

"I just wanted to do my part before I couldn't. Y'all have been so good to me." The injured man's voice cracked as he broke into tears.

"Daryl, why don't you go finish burying the rest of the bodies." Grace dismissed him.

He hung back though, waiting for a sign that he should leave her on her own. "I don't know..."

"I'll be okay. I come see you once this is all taken care of. I won't stay long if you're so worried. There isn't much we can do any way."

Daryl set his mouth in a hard line and nodded. "Alright then but nothin' better go wrong." He left slowly, looking back over his shoulder reluctantly. Grace turned back to her patient when she heard the door latch.

"Shirt off." She instructed. "We'll try to clean the bite out as best as possible and get it wrapped. Maybe that will slow the infection from spreading." Just as she was finished putting the tape around Jim's bandages, a shot fired off outside. Jacqui sat up straight and Grace's head spun toward the sound.

"What's goin' on out there?" Jim slurred. Grace could already feel the heat beginning to come off of the man. His temperature was climbing out of control quickly.

"Go check, Jacqui." Grace insisted. "Did Andrea get bitten?"

Jacqui nodded, and rushed to the window. "I think she's alright." Jacqui planted her hands on the counter and leaned closer to the glass. "Dale's with her now. She's holding a gun. I think..." she seemed to struggle for the words. "I think she put Amy down herself."

\---

Amy was the last body to go in the ground. Dale had brought out a white sheet and her sister wrapped her as gently as possible. Andrea insisted that she was able to do everything herself and for the most part everyone stepped back. She dragged the body to the back of her car and with very little help from Dale, lifted it in. As everyone else walked behind, Andrea drove her sister slowly up the hill toward the grave site. Rick was shovelling the last of the dirt out of Amy's grave when the car pulled in. Everyone had gathered around the graves and watched as Andrea struggled to pull her sister's shroud toward the hole.

"I can do it!" She shouted every time Dale reached out to help. Her white shirt was covered in blood and dirt. Grace struggled watching Andrea try to do it all on her own. Her arms crossed over her belly, remembering. She inhaled through her nose to try and fight the tears.

"Gracie, you good?" Merle glanced over. Grace nodded stiffly but didn't respond. The older Dixon took that as a sign that everything wasn't alright and elbowed Daryl hard in the ribs. "Put yer arm around her, asshole."

"Fuck off Merle." Daryl shifted away from his brother and looked down at Grace. "Come 'ere." He lifted his arm, wrapping it around her shoulders and pulling her into him. "Don't you worry none. We're good." He rested his face against her hair. "Ain't gonna leave you alone again."

"I want to leave." Grace choked out the words, finally choosing to side with the Dixons on leaving. "Even if they aren't coming with us, I don't think it's safe to stay here anymore."

This time it was Daryl to shake his head. "Not talkin' about it here. This ain't the place."


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

The fish had spoiled on the plates left scattered by the fire. Grace bent down to pick one plate up, but even with her hand over her mouth, she gagged at the smell of the fish left sitting out in the heat. Already the sun was dropping behind the tree line where the branches were thickest. She put the plate carefully into the bin she had brought over and knelt for the next one.

“I’ll help.”

Grace turned to the quiet voice behind her. Claire’s eyes were bloodshot but her face was determined. “Thanks, Claire. You want to get a shovel so we can bury some of this garbage? I’ll set up the wash bins while you do that.”

The teenager nodded, turning quickly to go retrieve one of the shovels they had used to dig graves. Grace righted their makeshift table and the grill over the fire pit. Making a small pile of tinder, dried leaves, and grass, Grace relit the fire.

“Yer gettin’ good at that,” Merle nodded in the direction of the fire.

Grace smiled at him, slowly slipping one stick after another into the flames. “I’m getting lots of practice.” 

“Daryl says yer determined to leave with or without the group.” He chewed on the blade of grass in his mouth, a habit he’d taken up when their cigarette supply started running low and he didn’t have pills to turn to. “That ain’t you, Gracie.” 

“It’s not safe here.” She was finally able to put on a large log and wait for it to catch. There was already a large pot of water waiting to be boiled so she could wash the dishes.

“No it ain’t, but it ain’t much safer out there. Shouldn’t split up the group. Would never have been able to fight off a pack like last night on our own.”

Grace almost laughed, “Now that’s not you talking Merle.”

He shrugged, “Maybe I had a change uh heart ‘bout this whole strength in numbers crap. Don’t think we should be makin’ any choices ‘til we know what their goals is gonna be.”

“That sounds like you’re planning on staying with them.”

Merle rolled his eyes, “Nothin’s been decided on yet. Jus’ keepin’ our options open. Might do us better if we can piggyback them a little bit. And it don’t hurt that Officer Friendly’s packin’ serious heat with his big bag o’ tricks.”

“And you’re willing to listen to Shane and Rick?” Grace shook her head. Merle had been butting heads with the other officer since they had joined the group and he was sure to collide spectacularly with Rick at some point. Already she was sure the scene on the roof had been enough to scare people away from Merle for a while.

“Nah, still make my own rules. Shane won’t be in charge long anyway. That Grimes’s got balls uh steel.”

\---

After Merle had wandered away, Miranda had asked if Grace was alright watching the children for a bit while she talked to her husband. With the help of the four children and Claire, the clean-up of the main campsite went well. When Lori came to fetch Carl, it was almost impossible to tell that anything had happened the night before. Together they made a broth from the last of the deer and some canned potatoes. When Daryl realized what they were attempting to do, he went off into the woods and came back with some wild carrots and edible mushrooms. He was far quicker at foraging than anyone else in the camp.

Rick and Shane had ventured off to check the surrounding forest with Dale. With twenty people, the pot of soup went quickly, even with the broth watered down. Lori set aside bowls for the search party but everyone’s bellies were still rumbling at the end of the meal.

Everyone was feeling the tension. They knew there would be no staying here- they had to move on. Rick and Shane called the meeting when they finished eating and everyone gathered around the fire pit where Grace had put another pot of water on to boil. The only one who didn’t seem to notice that anything was going on was Andrea who was curled up in a chair and passed out. She hadn’t slept the night before at all as she stood vigil for her sister. Grace was pleased to see her at least sleeping and she had even tried a small bite of the soup. If she wouldn’t talk to anyone about it, at least she was attempting to take care of herself a little bit. Dale made sure to cover her with a light blanket.

The clean-up and disposal of bodies had taken almost all day. When the fire that was burning the walkers had finally died down, T-Dog, Morales, and Daryl had dug a large pit to push all the ash and unburned pieces into. The mound now stood a short distance from the main part of camp as a reminder of what had happened.

Shane and Rick approached the gathered group in tandem and Rick gestured for Shane to speak first. Grace wondered how their relationship had gone before all of this. Shane seemed to take charge, but Rick was the one who was in charge. It was easy to see just from how much worship Shane held in his expression when he looked at Rick. He believed in this man wholeheartedly. “I’ve, uh, been thinking about Rick’s plan.” Shane started and his friend nodded. There had clearly been a conversation that everyone missed while the men had been out in the woods. “Now look, there are no guarantees either way, I’ll be the first one to admit that, but I’ve known this man a long time and I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is that we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we’ll be moving out first thing in the morning.”

“The morning?” Lori wondered. “What about tonight?”

“We do what we can to break down camp tonight. We take two hours shifts tonight. We’ll sort those out before it gets dark. Jacqui stays inside with Jim and whoever is on watch can check up on them. Tomorrow we’ll finish up everything.” 

Rick put his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “We can sleep one more night in the cars.”

“And what about food? We’re down to nothing.”

Daryl gave an indignant snort, “One night uh goin’ hungry never kilt no one.”

“Can’t you shoot something?” The officer’s wife pleaded.

Merle came to his brother’s defence. “You sure are stupid, ain’t cha? Don’t you think we tried that? Trees are empty. All uh those dead things is keepin’ everythin’ away from this place.”

“We’ll find food in the city,” Rick assured. “Tomorrow, we’ll stop to scavenge the first place we see .” 

His wife didn’t seemed reassured. “And if we don’t? What if this is a wild goose chase? Then what?”

“We’ll find food.” The new leader assured.

\---

That night instead of dinner, Grace sat with the children and read through the final chapters of Watership Down. Even the adults listened in as they sat huddling around the fires, stomachs growling, and fighting off the cold. 

“I think it’s time for bed soon,” Rick sighed as he dropped another log onto the fire.

Carl protested immediately, “It’s almost over. Right Grace? Just let her finish, please!”

The officer turned to her. He looked too tired to argue and Grace gave him a small smile, “There’s only another chapter and then the epilogue. Is that alright? We can always save it for tomorrow.”

“No, that’s alright.” He sighed and settled back down into his chair. “Straight after though, Carl.”

Grace read the final chapter slowly, savouring each word as the rabbits found peace and made a safe home for themselves. Her eyes felt full of sand as she read the last words and Hazel left his body willingly at the end of his long and happy life. The knot in the pit of her stomach twisted. How old would these children grow? Would they ever again have a safe home? Would they go willingly at the end of long lives?

“And that’s the end.” She smiled, fighting back tears and hoping the children couldn’t hear how thick her voice was.

“Alright,” Lori brushed her hand across her cheek subtly and stood. “Let’s get you into bed.”

The children bid their goodnights as their mothers took them away toward the cars they planned on sleeping in. The tents that weren’t destroyed had been taken down and sat in piles under tarps. Everything else that they could salvage was already packed away. In the dark, they looked like grotesque blue modern art.

“Shane and T-Dog take first shift.” Rick stared around the fire at the remaining group members. “Then Daryl and Glenn. Morales and Dale for third. Then I’ll take the last shift until everyone else gets up.”

“What about me?” Merle grunted. “Still too scared to let me handle a gun?”

“Not scared, just justifiably concerned about your ability to function like a human being.” Rick narrowed his eyes at Merle. “You can get up for the shift with me if you want. I’m not forcing you on anyone else.”

The older Dixon grunted and flipped Rick off.

“Alright, I think everyone should turn in soon. I want us to be well-rested for tomorrow.”

“Set a good example, man.” Shane patted his friend on the back. “Get some sleep. You’re exhausted. Pack it in for the day.” He glared around the circle. “Goes for the rest of you too. Go on. Get outta here.” For the first time in a few days, Shane seemed like he was in an honest to goodness decent mood. His tone was actually joking and light.

Grace yawned. Going to bed actually seemed like a good idea to her; it had been a long day.

“Ready fer bed?” Daryl reached over from his chair beside her and brushed the hair back from her neck, rubbing his thumb across her vertebrae.

“Yeah,” She nodded. “Just got to check on Merle’s bandages before we go to bed.”

“Sure thing.” Daryl stood and stretched. He reached out a hand and Grace took it so he could tug her to her feet. “I’ll pull the truck back over here, a’right?”

Grace nodded and turned to Merle who was sullenly sitting on a log, sharpening a stick with his pocket knife. “Want to put that thing down so I can check on you and head to bed?”

As she worked on his hand, everyone else said their goodnights and slowly trickled away. Shane sat stoking the fire, while T-Dog had climbed on top of the camper and settled into the chair that had yet to move from its perch. Unaware that everyone around her was leaving, Andrea was still curled under a tattered blanket sleeping soundly.

“Sure thing, Carter.” Merle was making her nervous, acting like the perfect patient. He held out his wrist obediently for a cleaning and as she tied the bandage into place, he looked up eagerly. “You gonna gimme something now.”

“What?”

“Not happenin’, Merle.” Daryl grunted from where he had settled on the tailgate to watch Grace tend to his brother.

“Somethin’ ta help me sleep.” He winked. “You still got my stash an’ I’m bein’ real good ‘bout it an all, but I ain’t gonna have an easy time sleepin’ without a little help.”

Grace shifted uncomfortably. What she had left of Merle’s stash was safely locked up in the RV, hidden in the removable maintenance panel near the electrical and plumbing for the kitchen. She had figured that was the last place the man was going to check for it. Merle wasn’t going anywhere near where they were letting the sick Jim stay. Though they’d been almost tolerant of him before, now both Merle and Daryl were more than nervous around Jim. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Merle clenched his fist. “Can’t keep it from me forever.”

“Don’t say nothin’, Grace. Merle, I want you to stop right now.” Daryl hopped off the tailgate. He knew, Grace had confessed to him about her fit of rage and destroying all of Merle’s illegal drugs. He didn’t know how much was left though or what exactly remained.

“I want my shit.”

Ignoring Daryl’s warning, Grace chose to go for brutal honesty. “It’s gone, Merle. I got rid of it. I told you that you needed to straighten yourself out and go to Atlanta sober.” His lack of immediate response gave her the courage to keep going, her voice growing stronger. “I told you and you didn’t listen to me. You nearly got everyone killed and almost lost your fucking hand in the process. So I dumped it. I dug a hole, crushed everything up, and then filled the hole with enough water that I couldn’t see anything worth using left. Then I buried it.”

She hadn’t expected the fist that came flying out and clipping her but she should have. Merle’s second hit connected with her arm, causing a sharp ache to accompany the throbbing in her cheek. “You BITCH!” He snarled, moving in for another when a glint of silver caught the light.

The hand that snaked around Merle’s throat was white-knuckled and frighteningly steady. “If you touch her again, I’m gonna slit yer throat.” Daryl’s voice was as sharp as the knife already digging into his brother’s neck.

Merle snorted several times, panting like a caged animal. Then slowly he relaxed, all the fight going out of him. “That the way it’s gonna be?”

“Way it always shoulda been.” Daryl’s fingers never wavered. “You never lay a hand on her outta anger again, you hear? An’ anything else you ask fuckin’ permission for. She ain’t yers to slap around. Show her some respect.”

Daryl and Merle had been in this situation once before, but Grace had never believed that Daryl would kill his older brother for her. This time she wasn’t quite sure. Merle didn’t seem to know what was going on either because he didn’t try to fight or get away. “Damn it.” He growled.

“You understand.”

“Ya.” Merle nodded stiffly and Daryl’s arm relaxed, slowly pulling back. Merle slumped. His body seemed worn out. “Damn it.” He hissed again, turning to Grace. “Didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” She picked herself off the ground, brushing the dirt off her pants. “You never do. You’ve got to learn to control your temper, Merle.”

“What he’s gotta do, is stay sober.” Daryl barked.

Even Shane looked up shocked at Daryl’s outburst. The fight hadn’t been his problem but the new twist in the situation was baffling to him.

“Huh?” Merle’s jaw dropped.

“You heard me,” the younger Dixon was snarling. “No pills, no powder. If it ain’t food, water, booze or cigarettes, you don’t smoke it, snort it or put it in yer mouth.”

“Or what?”

“Or yer gone. Sure Rick an’ Shane wouldn’t mind backin’ me up. We’ve all had enough of yer bullshit and now you’re slappin’ Grace around. She’s the only one ‘round here other than me that’s stuck up for you.” The pitch in Daryl’s voice was hitting dangerous peaks and if Grace didn’t stop him soon, he’d regret pleading with his brother over drugs. 

Andrea suddenly tossed in her sleep, the shouting disturbing her. Her eyes furiously blinked and a choked sob broke free. Shane hurried to kneel by her chair, trying to comfort her.

“Go to bed.” Grace used the distraction to break up the fight. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Merle nodded and slunk away from Daryl. Never to be put down completely though, when he passed Andrea crying, Merle turned and shouted at Shane, “Someone needs ta put, Sugar Tits ta bed,” before yanking open the truck door and slamming it hard to punctuate his displeasure.

Daryl seemed shocked by what had just happened. It was obvious that he had been running on pure adrenaline and never realized that he could have murdered Merle quite easily.

“Dare?” Grace tried, “Daryl? I think we should go to bed too.”

He nodded swiftly, sliding his knife back into the sheath. “Yeah.” Daryl’s voice was weak and he cleared his throat. “Yeah, le’s go ta bed, Carter.”

“Shane.” Grace turned away from Daryl for a moment. “Merle’s right about getting Andrea in somewhere safe. She can’t sleep in the RV. Jim’s in there.”

“She can sleep in the van. My stuff’s already set-up.” Shane looked to Andrea, who was quiet now, simply looking around confused. “I’ll keep an eye on her tonight. That alright with you?” Grace nodded. Shane would do alright looking after Andrea and it would keep the man out of trouble.

“Get in the truck, Carter.” Daryl shifted. “He’ll watch her.”

Knowing it was true by the way Shane was gently smoothing down Andrea’s hair and tucking the blanket around her shoulders, Grace followed Daryl over to the truck. As he was pulling the door closed behind them, she caught sight of Shane lifting Andrea and carrying her out of sight.

“You alright, Gracie?” Merle’s gruff whisper came through the window.

“Shudd-up.” Daryl snapped. “Don’t want to hear anythin’ else from ya tonight.” He reached over and snapped the window shut. He leaned down to unlace Grace’s boots and set them neatly at the end of the mattress. Taking her face in his rough hands, he kissed her skin gently where the bruise was already starting to form on her jaw. “Go on,” He pushed her lightly down. “Get ta sleep.” And after tugging off his own boots, Daryl crawled under the covers with her, holding her almost painfully tight to him.

\---

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The light rhythm came too soon after they fell asleep.

“Hey you alive in there?” T-Dog knocked lightly on the window again and Daryl grunted.

“I’m up, alright?” Slowly he dragged himself up and fumbled around in the dark for his boots.

Grace stretched and pulled one of the blankets around her shoulders. Even though she knew they’d been asleep for close to two hours, it felt like she’d just barely closed her eyes. She watched as Daryl checked his crossbow and grabbed a couple of bottles of water before unlatching the back of the truck. She moved to slide out after him and Daryl turned back jerkily, putting a hand out to stop her.

“Nuh-uh. Go back to sleep.”

“I won’t be able to sleep in here alone.”

“Go on an’ try. You ain’t comin’ out with me. Back to bed, sweetheart.”

She pulled the blankets a little tighter and pushed against his hand. “I’ll sleep out there, if you don’t mind.” He didn’t budge. Grace sighed. “Come on, Daryl. Please just let me come with you.” For a moment she was sure that he wasn’t going to change his mind, but eventually he dropped his arm defeated.

“Alright, but you gotta sleep, you hear me?” His tone was serious and Grace nodded, leaning and leaned up to kiss him quickly.

Leaning back, she dragged a finger quickly across her chest. “Cross my heart.” She grabbed one of the pillows, dragging it out with her as well and Daryl pulled out more of the blankets. They moved across the camp to the ladder of the RV where Shane was waiting for them. The officer looked Grace up and down and Daryl stepped in front of her protectively.

He glared at Shane and growled out, “When’s the last time you did rounds?”

Shane rolled his eyes, “About fifteen minutes ago. Why didn’t you stay in the truck Grace?” He addressed her.

“Don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Daryl was vibrating with tension and Grace couldn’t help but smile at his protectiveness.

“I wouldn’t have slept until he came back so I figured that I might as well try to get some sleep out here.” She moved toward the ladder, pushing past both men. “I’ll just be up here when you two sort out your testosterone.”

Glenn was already yawning in one of the two chairs. He gave a nod when Grace peeked over the top of the RV and she dragged herself the rest of the way up. “What’s up Glenn?”

“Shane woke me up.” The Korean mumbled, his eyes drifting shut for a second before he shook himself. “ He wasn’t nice about it.”

“That sucks.”

“I’m guessing T-Dog went easier on you?”

She shrugged and spread the first blanket down on the roof of the camper. “It’s never fun to get woken-up.”

Glenn snorted, “Doesn’t hurt when your boyfriend is a crazy crossbow wielding redneck who’d stab his own brother in the neck.”

“Shudd-up, Chinaman,” Daryl grunted as he pulled himself onto the RV and dropped his armload of blankets onto her makeshift bed.

Grace took them gratefully, giving him a smile. The roof was hard and it couldn’t hurt to have a thicker padding to sleep on. Ignoring Glenn completely, Daryl knelt down and began moving the blankets around, helping Grace fix herself a spot to rest. When he was satisfied, he leaned back to admire their work. “Go on now, crawl in.” He insisted and Grace snuggled in under the blankets. Leaning down he gave her a quick peck, pulling back but keeping their faces close. “I’m gonna go do a quick sweep, okay?” He mumbled against her mouth.

“Sure thing. I’ll be here.” Grace stole a second quick kiss which left Daryl staring sideways at Glenn trying to see if he was watching. Glenn had pointedly turned his chair slightly away from the couple in a clever move of self-preservation and was staring out into the night, completely engrossed in the black.

“Get some rest.” Daryl insisted. He stood quickly and yanked his crossbow up onto his shoulder. As he moved past the other man, Daryl stopped briefly and said, “Keep an eye on her fer me. Don’t let her roll off the RV or nothin’.”

“I will... I mean, I won’t... I mean, I won’t let her roll off the RV.” Glenn stumbled over his words but Daryl didn’t seem to notice. He just slid over the side and disappeared from sight. When Glenn was sure that he had been gone long enough to be out of hearing, he exhaled harshly. “He terrifies me.” He admitted.

Grace chuckled and snuggled under the blanket. She was sort of starting to regret disturbing the comfortable pocket she had created for herself in the truck. “He’s not that scary.”

“Not as much as Merle,” Glenn amended, “but he’s still pretty,” he gestured to his upper torso. “What the hell did he do to get so ripped?”

“Hard work,” Grace offered.

“Does he work out or something?”

She shook her head, “He’s just always on the go doing something, fixing something or moving something. He always has a project started because he doesn’t want to be bored. He just stays active. I doubt he could work out if he wanted to. He’d last fifteen minutes before the repetition got to be too much for him and he’d want to take something apart to figure out how it worked or see how far he could throw a dumbbell. He’s not really into organized exercising.”

Glenn shook his head bemused and went back to scanning the horizon.

\---

Grace vaguely remembered Daryl waking her gently when his shift was over and stumbling back down the RV ladder into the truck. When she woke again, the sun was already pouring into the windows and Daryl was sleeping soundly with an arm thrown around her. Already the day was getting hot and the extra body heat, while comforting, was not particularly comfortable. It was the first time she’d felt peaceful and safe in days. Daryl was back and alright and Merle was back and still crazy but at least cowed into place for the time being. The camp was well guarded and though they were leaving the home they had made for themselves, they were leaving it together. Things were going to be alright. They would find someplace secure. Some place like the cabin but bigger and better and easier to fortify.

Daryl’s face was peaceful when she slowly slid herself free of his embrace and rolled onto her side to look at him. He rarely slept in a relaxed position; instead he normally curled in on himself. His arms would tuck into his body and his knees would pull up until they almost touched his stomach. He was self contained, holding everything close to him. Pillows, blankets, her; he always ended up sleeping as if something was going to be stolen from him at any moment. Even now as she watched him he reached out, eyes slowly blinking open. “Where you goin’?” he slurred, voice thick as his hand found hers and wound their fingers together.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He grinned a little and tugged on her arm. “Then get back over here.” Daryl tugged until she gave in and allowed him to pull her flush against him. He rolled to his back, pulling her to lie against his stomach, legs tangling and chests pressing together. “That’s better,” he murmured as their heads rested together. Tenderly he pushed his mouth against hers, lips parting and tongue darting out. They rocked slowly against each other, Daryl’s hands staying well above her waist, never venturing further down than her shoulders and neck.

“If you two are gonna fuck, ya could at least wait ‘til I was outta the truck.” Merle’s hoarse voice broke through the quiet of the morning. “Jesus, show a little respect for her, Darylina. Don’t just go at her where ya got yerselves an audience.”

Daryl’s body tensed, hands releasing their grasp on her hair and yanking away in a panic. One hand caught on a tangle and yanked a little harder than Grace would have liked. “Ow!” She rubbed the spot on her skull and Daryl gave her an apologetic look before pushing her off him as casually as possible.

“Should go get ready,” he muttered, fumbling around for fresh clothes.

“Never said you had to stop” His brother hollered through the cab. Merle was cackling now, clearly enjoying having made Daryl uncomfortable as payback for last night.

“Shoulda slit his throat last night when I had the chance.” Daryl yanked a shirt over his head and pushed his feet roughly into his boots, not bothering to tie them. “Fuck.” He forced open the back of the truck and stormed out, leaving Grace exposed on their mattress and more than a little frustrated.

She reached up and smacked her hand against the window between the bed and the cab, “PRICK!”

Merle just made kissing sounds.

\---

Grace stared across the fire as Lori put her arm around her son. She could hear the boy’s stomach rumbling from here but there was nothing to fill it. The cupboards were empty, the last of the deer was gone, and there wasn’t a chance of hunting down anything else this morning. Remembering all the times she had turned down Merle’s offer to cook some squirrel for dinner, Grace felt a pang in her stomach that left her longing for days when she didn’t wish for a plate of wild rodent.

It had been more than two hours since she woke and Daryl had left the truck. It wasn’t a long period of time for him to be gone, but already camp was slowly breaking down and there was talk of getting on the road sooner than later. Merle had been around camp breaking down the salvageable tents while Claire helped Grace arrange the back of the truck and cover everything she wanted kept clean with a blue tarp. With the tarp in place, she was able to put a lot more in the back of the truck. The more they were able to salvage from camp, the better. Still, she hoped that they would find good news at the CDC so she didn’t have to worry about unpacking the truck. With everything in the back, their mattress was covered and it would be a long process to unpack it just to sleep. 

“Jim’s getting worse.” Jacqui stepped out of the RV looking grim. She had taken turns with Dale looking after the sick man all night and when Grace had gone to see him in the morning, it was looking bad. She kept one hand on her weapon at all times and made sure that it was easily accessible just in case something went wrong. Amy’s turning had been slow, but Morales admitted that he had seen some people come back a lot more forcefully. “We should move on soon.”

“My brother ain’t back yet,” Merle reminded everyone. The blade of grass between his teeth waggled in the sun.

Shane snorted, “Well he shoulda thought about us wantin’ to leave before he took off without so much as a word to anyone, now shouldn’t he.”

“Shane,” Rick rested a hand on Shane’s shoulder. “I know you want to leave soon, but Daryl is a part of this group and I doubt that Grace will want to go anywhere without him. We’ll wait for as long as it takes.”

“He’s got another hour,” the other officer grumbled and reached for the gallon pails of fresh water to fill another water bottle.

\---

When Daryl did finally swagger out of the forest twenty minutes later, he looked smug. From one hand he carried a cloth bag that was lumpy with whatever was inside. Bring it over to the fire, he sat down and pulled out a fat green berry. “Muscadines,” he offered, pulling out his knife and poking one on the tip. He brought it to his mouth and sucked the pulp out through the hole he’d created. “Figured we could use something before we get on the road.”

They split up the muscadines between them, making sure the children got the most. Shane refused his portion, whether for chivalry or a dislike for Daryl, Grace wasn’t sure. Instead he sat and sipped hot water mixed with a small amount of honey that Dale had discovered in the RV. Rick split most of his share between Lori and Carl. Grace was determined to not let Daryl do the same but she knew that he was sneaking extras into her pile one at a time.

With the last of the camp to pack up and at least a little food in their stomachs, they began to finish their final preparations for hitting the road. Slowly they all came to a stop, gathering around the vehicles and wondering who was going to make the first move toward leaving.

“Alright everybody listen up” Shane said, finally addressing the group as a whole. “Those of you with CBs, we’re gonna be on channel 40 but let’s keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don’t have a CB, can’t get a signal, or anything at all, you’re gonna hit your horn one time. That’ll stop the caravan. Any questions?”

Daryl shifted from foot to foot beside her. He was anxious to get going. On her other side, Grace felt Merle pacing just as much. The brothers were bookends when it came to patience. When they wanted something, they wanted it now. She slid her hand down Daryl’s arm, taking his fingers firmly in her own. When he froze for a moment, she gave them a light squeeze and he squeezed back.

Morales spoke up from where he stood with his family, their little unit set just apart from the rest of the group. “We’re, uh, we’re not going.” His eyes flashed with challenge as he stared down Rick and Shane.

“We have family in Birmingham,” Miranda added. “We want to be with our people.” She almost chuckled, clearly she wasn’t quite sure that their family would still be there but they had to at least try for the sake of their children. As she spoke, she rubbed her daughter’s shoulder.

“You go on your own, you won’t have anyone to watch your back.” Shane wasn’t protesting, just stating the facts. Rick didn’t seem to have a reply at all. It was as if he knew their minds wouldn’t be changed.

“We’ll take the chance” Morales nodded accepting the responsibility. “I’ve got to do what’s best for my family.”

Rick lifted his eyes, his stare hard. “You sure?”

“We’ve talked about it. We’re sure.”

The leader sighed, “alright,” and turned to Shane before dipping into their gun bag and pulling out a small handgun and some ammo.

Merle scoffed lightly but made no move to stop them. Daryl squeezed her hand before giving her a little shove toward the family. “Go on,” he encouraged. And she didn’t need much more encouragement to step forward. She found herself dropping to her knees to pull both children into her. Above her Lori embraced Miranda and the women whispered their goodbyes softly. Sophia was crying in earnest when she joined the group hug. This hurt, losing these children. They’d become family to her and Miranda was like the older sister she’d never had. It had been a rough enough time with losing Amy, the boys, and nearly Merle. Then there was Jim in the RV dying. Now they were losing this piece of their family to free will instead of circumstance. It was more painful than losing someone when they didn’t have a choice.

Still, she understood in a way. It might be better to be on your own. Fewer people to look out for and to keep fed. More eyes watching though, more company. But people were social creatures no matter what Daryl would have people believe. Even he needed someone other than Merle to shout at now and again. It felt like an execution letting them go. They would never see them again. This would be the end and it could be the end of them.

She took her turn hugging Miranda, tears on her cheeks as she said her goodbyes. When Grace turned back to the children, she kissed both their heads. “You be good for your mama, alright?” They nodded. Sophia held Eliza’s doll to her chest and Grace pulled away to wrap her arms around the sniffling girl. Carol seemed to be in shock.

As the Morales family walked off to their own vehicle, Carol whispered, “I don’t understand.”

“They want to do it on their own. They’ve got family.” Grace tried but knew it sounded pathetic, even to her.

The grey haired woman shook her head, “No. This is family. We’re family.”

Grace turned to Daryl but she knew that he had heard when he turned away moving steadily toward to where the truck was parked beside Merle’s bike. She gave Carol a final reassuring glance and followed him. “Daryl?”

“We gotta go. Don’t have time for soppy goodbyes.”

“It’s tough on everyone. Just give them some time. We’ve lost a lot of people. Losing more sucks.”

Daryl dropped his voice dangerously low and hissed out, “Those kids are gonna end up dead, all because their parents made a stupid decision.” There it was, Daryl’s soft spot: the kids. As much as he would never admit it, people’s parenting choices drove him more insane than any other type of decision. He didn’t give a fuck what you did, so long as it didn’t put your kids at risk. He was protective, he’d scared Carl back to camp several times when the boy wandered off and had complained that Lori needed to keep an eye on the boy better. Still, David and Miranda taking their children and leaving on their own was clearly eating him up inside. He thought it was stupid, dangerous, and reckless.

Not wanting to push him further than holding his hand already had, Grace resisted her urge to kiss him so near to everyone else. Daryl chewed unhappily at the skin beside his thumb, staring anxiously as Shane and Rick spoke softly together. Everyone was spreading out into the vehicles now. The ones they were leaving behind all had empty tanks as T-Dog had spent the better part of his morning siphoning gas. They just hoped that it would get them as close to the CDC as possible.

“Where’re my keys?” Merle stomped into the picture breaking up the moment between Grace and Daryl.

“Get in the truck, Merle.” Daryl grumbled, reaching out and taking Grace’s hand.

“We ain’t leavin’ my bike!” The older Dixon’s eyes went wide. He seemed genuinely scared that Daryl was going to punish him further for last night by insisting they leave the bike.

Daryl rolled his eyes. “I’m drivin’ the bike. Keep yer panties on, Jesus!”

Merle shook his head, “Gimme yer keys then.”

Grace looked down at her hand, gripped around what Daryl had pushed into it- the truck keys. Daryl was planning on completely emasculating Merle by not only taking the bike from him, but letting her drive the truck over his brother.

“Jus’ get in the truck.”

Merle stood shocked as Daryl leaned in close and kissed Grace quickly before whispering, “Drive safe, sweetheart, an’ honk if he gets ta be too much.” He gave Merle a stern look before walking determinedly to the bike and throwing a leg over it.

“This is bullshit!” Merle scowled but threw himself into the passenger side of the truck, yanking open the glove compartment.

“He smoked those a week ago.” Grace offered, referring to the pack of cigarettes Daryl usually kept stored there.

“Shut-up, Gracie.” He sunk into the seat without doing up his seat belt.

\---

They drove to where the cube van had been abandoned on the way back to camp and salvaged the hose and some other parts for the RV before getting back on the road. Merle sat in the truck like a spoiled child the whole time. It was nice for Grace to be able to throw a CD in the player and just leave herself alone with her thoughts. So long as Merle didn’t say anything, she might have been driving alone behind Daryl and admiring the view. They just kept driving; the emptiness around them never changing. The buildings beside the road were starting to show signs of abandonment: a door left open and swinging in the breeze; garbage cans knocked over by stray animals; contents of homes spilled out across their lawns; or cars gutted where they sat in driveways.

Merle passed out about twenty minutes after they retrieved the parts and his soft snoring and breathing lulled Grace into a sense of peace that was shattered quite suddenly when Dale laid on the horn and pulled over. The Dixon beside her sat up like a bolt.

“Tha fuck?!” he glared leaning forward against the dash and trying to see further. By the time Grace put the truck in park, Rick had already gone into the RV.

“What’s going on?” Grace asked when she approached the group.

Lori shook her head sadly. “Jim wants to be left here.”

“We’re trying to decide if it’s humane to leave him.” Dale frowned.

Shane narrowed his eyes. “It ain’t right, leavin’ a man like that.”

“It’s what he wants.” Rick stepped from the RV heavily. “I think we need to listen to what he has to say.”

It was Carol that voiced everyone’s biggest concern. She seemed to be the only one to step forward to speak on the matter. “And he’s lucid?”

Rick nodded, “He seems to be. I would say yes.”

“Then we need to respect his wishes.” Grace agreed with Rick. It would be even crueler to take him with them only to have him turn and put the responsibility of putting him down on someone in the group.

“We just leave him here? Take off? Man, I’m not sure I could live with that.” Shane seemed torn, his protect and serve instinct coming out.

“It’s not your call. Either one of you.” Lori looked to Grace for confirmation and Grace sighed.

“If someone is ready to accept their death then you need to respect that choice. Give him peace of mind in the end. We won’t cure him if he’s ready to give up. Medicine is about cooperation between patient and professionals. I don’t see that happening if he’s ready to go gentle into that good night.”

“That’s your medical opinion?” Shane looked up from under his eyelashes. He didn’t seem to want to meet her stare but Grace held his eyes.

“It’d be best to let him go.”

\---

As Shane and Rick helped Jim out of RV, Grace snuck in behind them. With everyone distracted, she went into the back and popped open a cupboard reaching into the back to pull away a small piece of the wall. Behind the paneling was the pipes and electrical that ran to the kitchen. Around them was plenty of room to hide something small, like several small pill bottles. Grace pulled out several, reading the labels until she found the one she was looking for and then popped the top to double check that the pills hadn’t been replaced. She counted out four and then hid the bottle again, shoving several containers back into place so it looked undisturbed.

The receiving line in front of Jim was already shrinking as people began to move back to their vehicles. Rick pulled away looking frustrated and holding a gun tight in his hand. It seemed that he had tried to give it to Jim and been turned down. When Dale stepped forward, Jim smiled softly. “Thanks for the ride,” he chuckled.

“Thanks for fighting for us.” Dale knelt by the dying man and patted his leg before pulling back. Slowly everyone was fading away. No one else seemed to have anything left to say but to nod sadly and leave with burning eyes.

“Where’d you go?” Daryl murmured, pressing a hand to Grace’s lower back.

“Just getting something.” She brushed past him. Already her palms were sweating and she didn’t want to dissolve the pills in her hand.

“Jim,” she took his hand and slowly opened his fingers. She dropped a single pill on to his palm. “I want you to take these, one at a time. They’re not very strong so you’ll have to take a few.”

“Alright.” He blinked slowly putting his hand to his mouth and swallowing thickly. Someone passed her a bottle of water and Grace brought it to Jim’s lips without seeing who it was. When he’d taken the first pill and a healthy swallow, she gave him the second and the third and the fourth. He swallowed each one down carefully then sighed and put his head back against the tree. “Thanks Gracie.”

She didn’t bother to correct him the way she would have if anyone else said it. From Jim, the nickname didn’t hold the same patronising tone that it did when Merle said it. “Take care of yourself.” She patted his hand before standing up.

When his voice came again, Grace had already turned her back. “I heard what you said, about goin’ gentle.” Jim spoke softly and Grace turned back to him. “It ain’t like that. You folks don’t need to be stuck with me like this and you don’t need to be stuck with me after. I had to leave my family behind. You can leave me.”

Her eyes spilled over at that and she nodded as the tears began to run down her cheeks. “I’ll be seein’ you, Jim.”

“I’ll be seein’ you too, Gracie.”

Daryl nodded to Jim as he stepped up to lead Grace down to the road again. He hugged her tightly to his side and rested his head on top of hers. “What was that about?”

“It’s a poem.” She rubbed her face, trying to stop herself from crying any harder. Carefully she recited, “Do not go gentle into that good night/Old age should burn and rage at close of day/Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Grace let out a breath and inhaled again, trying to quiet her nerves. “It means that you shouldn’t just lie down and die.”  
Daryl shook his head like he understood but his eyes were squinting with confusion. “An’ what Jim said?”

“Just that he wasn’t giving in by staying behind. He was giving us an opportunity to move on without him. His might have been giving up on himself but he’s fighting to give us a chance to beat this thing ourselves.”

“Damn.” Daryl whispered, kissing the crown of her head.

Shane didn’t seem as impressed. He started into her the moment she got back down to the RV. “What did you give him?”

“You didn’t seem concerned when he was taking it.” She rolled her eyes. Daryl’s arm tightened around her shoulders.

“Four pills is an awful lot.”

Grace nodded, “For someone who wants to live it is.”

“You said they were weak. You said he had to take so many because they were weak.” Jacqui looked shocked at Grace and she just shrugged.

“I lied.”

“But Jim...”

“He knew.” She reassured the other woman. “He didn’t ask any questions about what he was taking. He knew. Sometimes we need to hear a lie so we can pretend something isn’t true. He didn’t want to kill himself and he didn’t want us to be responsible for it.”

“So you gave him enough of a dose to knock him out well and proper?” Shane confirmed.

Grace nodded, “Even if something stumbles across him, he won’t feel it. I couldn’t leave him with nothing to defend himself if something wanted to tear him to pieces. This way he sleeps until the final moment and no one has to worry about him. Even if he doesn’t lose consciousness, he’s going to feel really good until that last moment happens. “

They looked back up at Jim who was already leaning back against the tree, his face tipped up to catch the breeze and the light dancing across his cheeks as the leaves fluttered in the breeze.

“Alright then,” Shane pursed his lips but didn’t argue further. “Let’s get back on the road.”

Daryl took Grace back to the truck. Merle was dozing lightly against the window on his side of the car but he greeted Daryl with a head tip. “We leavin’ the mechanic behind?”

“Seems that way.” Daryl grunted, mostly ignoring his brother. He took Grace’s face in both his hands as she sat in the driver’s seat of his truck with her legs hanging out. Carefully he rubbed rough thumbs against her cheeks to rid it of any remaining stray tears. He didn’t say anything to her, but Daryl didn’t really need to. He kissed her gently and turned her in the seat, closing the door and patting the arm she rested on the window well.

As the group drove away, Grace noted that Jim’s head was already hanging low toward his chest.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

They drove along the outskirts of the city to get to the CDC. Atlanta was a graveyard, no it was a battlefield. Graveyards were kept in neat rows with perfectly mowed grass and pretty grave markers. Graveyards were like parks where you walked on dead people, but not in a creepy way.

This was carnage.

Grace saw the bodies before they even hit the roadblocks. If the sight was enough to turn someone’s stomach, then the stench of rotting flesh baked into the scorching pavement made sure of it. Clumps of bodies lay on top of each other, but they hadn’t been piled. Most seemed to just lay where they had fallen, the bodies underneath crushed by uncaring feet and now by their tires. That should have been their sign to turn around, when they couldn’t swing and swerve around the bodies and had to simply keep going straight, blocking it all out as the corpses crunched beneath them.

When they were finally stopped by barricades and signs, Grace fought back the urge to shout for everyone to turn around. This was a bad idea. They needed to go back to the camp or at least to the freeway. There had been maybe a dozen walkers grouped together in the camp attack but in the scene spread out in front of them, there must have been hundreds of bodies with no way of telling which would stand up and which had been destroyed enough to not be able to come after them. There could be a thousand corpses that wanted to kill them here. Civilian casualties were mixed in with what looked to be a military attempt to protect the CDC. Slumped against sandbags and lying next to the weapons that had failed them as they were overrun, were the bodies of men and women in uniforms.

In front of them, Rick opened the car door and seemed determined not only to get out of the car, but to explore the area as well. Gun raised, he swung left and right, then waved to the rest of the convoy.

Merle swung to face her, his eyes wild with determination and fear. “You still got that gun Daryl gave you?”

Grace nodded, her hand dropping its white knuckled grip on the steering wheel and coming to rest at her waistband where the weapon had become almost permanently attached to her hip. He reached out his hand expectantly but she shook her head, “No, you’ll do something dangerous.”

“I’ll do somethin’ that’ll keep us all from gettin’ killed. Gimme the gun, woman.” He didn’t seem angry, just frustrated that she didn’t trust him.

Just as she was about to give in, Daryl rapped lightly on the side of the truck. In one hand he held his crossbow and in the other, a shotgun. “Here” Without a pause he passed it through Merle’s window. Daryl shot a glance across the truck to Grace, “You still got yours?”

“Right here,” she pulled up her shirt to show him.

“Good girl. Get it out but don’t shoot ‘less you need to. Come on you two.” Neither Dixon looked back as they started to move away from the truck and Grace scrambled after them. Lori and Carol were getting out of the car Rick had been driving with the kids and he wasn’t making any move to stop them.

“Oh shit!” This was definitely a bad idea.

One by one everyone, got out of the vehicles and started walking toward the building. Grace closed the door behind her as quietly as possible and crept after them, staying just a few steps behind Merle and Daryl. There was a scream choking her, threatening to spill out if she breathed in more than a few quick puffs of the stagnant air to keep her lungs from burning. Those that held weapons were brave enough to keep their faces uncovered, but the smell of rotting flesh was overpowering. Holding her gun as steady as possible with trembling fingers, Grace pulled her shirt up over her nose. Flies clung to everything. They were thick, spinning off the bodies in clouds. Even though the fabric over her mouth and nose did little to stop the smell, at it least formed a thin defence against the flies. Grace was sure she would throw up the small amount of fruit she had eaten that morning if she were to accidentally swallow a fly.

Someone in front of her gagged and the urge to repeat the sound was powerful. Her stomach tossed itself up against her ribcage, begging for release from the torment.

“Rick?” Shane called quietly to his friend. His voice was high with concern, the silent plea of ‘What the fuck are we doing,’ as clear as the fact that they shouldn’t be there. This had been a terrible idea. Why was no one saying it? This was going to get them all killed. This place was lost! The CDC had fallen and they needed to get as far away from it as possible.

“Keep moving.” Rick encouraged. “Come on.”

Shane nodded and picked up Rick’s encouraging tone, calling out to the others and gathering them together, his eyes and body never stopped moving, crouched low, he swung side to side almost gracefully. It was becoming easier to step around the bodies which, after a while, began to look less like people and more like faceless mush. Grace found herself moving around them quicker, catching up to Daryl who gave her a short nod. His eyes were as wild as Shane’s.

“This ain’t right.” He hissed at his brother.

Merle growled back, “Shudd-up! I’m tryin’ ta think.”

“Well do it quick.” Daryl retorted. “This is fucked up.”

Grace had to agree. She sidestepped a felled soldier missing half of his face. It looked like he had made sure he wouldn’t turn with the gun that lay discarded beside him.

“We’re almost there.” Lori whispered to Carl. “Almost there.”

Sophia whimpered. Neither her or Carol were saying anything, but Grace could see the terror clear across their faces. This was more than just wrong. This was suicide.

Yet Rick still pressed forward.

They were nearly to the doors now and the ground was a little bit clearer. The soldiers had given their lives to protect the building, not realizing that they were the targets. The bodies were mostly centered around the sandbags in clusters and scattered around the soldiers. There was no reason for the walkers to try and get into the CDC. They were as powerful against the doors as a starved cat that got its paws on a can of tuna but that couldn’t operate a can opener.

As the group got closer to the wall, Grace saw the shutters were down. This was it, there was no way in. Both Rick and Shane tried futilely to yank or unlatch them, but from the outside, it was impossible. The can opener didn’t seem like such a bad analogy now.

“Nothing?” Rick questioned as Shane grunted, trying to heave upward on the door. Shane just shook his head forcefully.

“There’s nobody here!” T-Dog pointed out.

Rick stared at the door almost blankly, “Then why are these shutters down?” He hissed. Who he was angry at, Grace wasn’t sure, but T-Dog was telling the truth. This place was for the dead. Rick had screw up.

“Probably a safety mechanism from when the power went out in the area.” Grace offered, but the sheriff shook his head.

“No.” He turned back to the door. “There’s got to be a way.”

“Walkers!” Daryl called. He and Merle danced on the fringes on the group with anxiety. Daryl shot a walker dressed in fatigues with his crossbow and then raced to the doors where Rick and Shane were. His brother stayed behind, gun trained on the creatures slowly becoming active and moving toward them, “You led us into a graveyard!” Daryl shouted at Rick.

“He made a call.” Dale countered, ever the peacekeeper.

“It was the wrong damn call!”

“Let’s get outta here.” For once Merle was being the more rational brother but Shane was already going after Daryl.

“Just shut-up! You hear me? Shut-up. You shut-up!” Shane was bellowing in Daryl’s face and Daryl took a step back as the officer shoved him hard in the chest with a clenched hand. “Rick, this is a dead end.” He turned back to his friend.

Grace’s eyes widened. “That’s what Daryl just said. Let’s go back to the cars.”

“Where are we going to go?” Carol whimpered, her arms clutched around her daughter. Grace had to admit, she hadn’t a clue where they would go.

“You hear me? No blame.” Shane was trying to comfort Rick even as he repeated what Daryl said earlier. “Fort Benning, it’s still an option.”

“We can’t be this close to the city after dark.” Lori begged, getting in between her husband and Shane.

“Fort Benning.” Shane repeated.

“On what?” Andrea demanded, “No food, no fuel. That’s 100 miles.”

“Blondie’s right.” Merle shot a female walker in what had been a flower print tank top and baggy shorts. “We ain’t gonna make it too far on what we got.”

“Daryl can find more whatever those things were.” Lori gestured at him frantically. “Please, let’s just go.”

“Yer plannin’ on livin’ on wild grapes.” Merle chuckled. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“We need to be somewhere before dark.” She continued, completely ignoring Merle. “We need something now.”

“We’ll think of something.” Rick was panicked now as he tried to reassure his wife.

“Best make it quick.” Merle pointed out as more walkers started approaching the group as they gathered beside the large grey building.

“Alright,” Rick relented. “Let’s see how far we can get out of the city.”

T-Dog’s voice seemed shaky as he sided with the get-the-hell-out group, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Let’s go. Please!” Glenn begged the members, taking charge and starting to push them toward the vehicles again.

Shane began shouting out to everyone as the group began its retreat to the vehicles. Just as Rick started turning to leave, he froze, his eyes locked firmly on the building looming over them.

“The camera. It moved.” His voice showed just how shocked he was.

Everyone stopped and looked back confused.

Dale tried to dismiss Rick. “You imagined it,” he stared at the building trying to see movement for himself.

“It moved.” Rick took shaky steps closer. “It moved.”

Shane sighed, “Rick, it’s dead man. It’s an automated device. It’s gears. They’re just winding down. Now, come on!” He placed his hand forcefully on Rick’s shoulder and tried to turn him around, but the man shrugged him off.

With all the hope in the world showing on his face, Rick took another step closer and stared directly up into the camera. “I saw it.” His voice was small, like a child demanding to be believed about the existence of monsters in his closet.

“Man, just listen to me. Look around this place. It’s dead, okay?” He began to struggle with Rick as the officer pushed forward, trying to get closer to the building to get a better look at the camera. Rick just brushed him off and Shane shouted, “You need to let it go, Rick!”

Lori turned to her husband and joined in Shane’s attempts to get him to leave. “Rick, there’s nobody here.” She wailed.

Rick continued to ignore everyone’s pleas and arguments. He grabbed at the metal covering the doors and shook it hard. He lifted his face up to the camera and shouted, “I know you’re in there! I know you can hear me!”

Seeming to lose faith in Rick, or maybe thinking that if everyone else left him, Rick would follow, Shane shouted to the rest of the group, “Get back in the cars, now!”

“Please,” Rick begged with the camera, “we’re desperate. Please help us. We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left.”

Lori left Carl, pushing the boy toward Shane who caught him around the waist and held the boy tight to him. “Rick,” she pushed between him and the doors, “there’s nobody here.”

Her husband ignored her. “We have nowhere else to go.” He kept pleading.

“Leave him.” Merle shoved Grace hard toward the vehicle and she stumbled. Daryl glared at his brother as he caught her to stop her from falling.

“Easy Merle.” He gave his brother a push back and turned to Grace, tugging her lightly. “Le’s go, girl! Sooner we get outta here the better.” Grace nodded. They needed to leave. The sooner they were back in the vehicles putting miles between them and this hellhole, the safer they would be. It was getting dark, night was falling quickly and it wouldn’t be long before they couldn’t see much of anything approaching. If they waited much longer it would be a second bloodbath.

Shane tackled Rick, grabbing him around the middle and hauling him with one arm toward the vehicles. Rick fought hard, never tearing his eyes from the camera. “You’re killing us!” he bellowed, thrashing against Shane’s arm. “You’re killing us!” Shane gave his friend one hard shove and spun him around, almost tossing him away from the doors. It was just as he did that a metallic grind cut through the night and the door slid open, a blinding light pouring from it. Their eyes were adjusted to the gloom and it hurt to look too closely.

“The hell?” Daryl’s jaw went slack but his grip on his crossbow tightened. The door hissed as it finished sliding upward.

Merle raised his own weapon toward the building, stepping forward. The two Dixons blocked Grace from seeing the building too clearly and definitely from getting a good look inside. For a moment everything froze and everyone stared in shock at the light and open door. Grace planted a hand in the middle of each of the backs in front of her and shoved. In unison, they stumbled forward and turned around shocked. “Go!” She shouted.

As quickly as the doors had opened, the group surged forward into the unknown light and away from the approaching walkers.

“Dixon, cover the back.” Shane shouted, but it wasn’t clear which of the brothers he was talking to. Without speaking, they seemed to agree it was both and stopped to let Grace past them.

“Ladies first,” Merle smirked and Grace just rolled her eyes.

“Go on. We’re watchin’ back here. Git inside where it’s safe.” Daryl insisted and Grace knew they wouldn’t go in unless she went first. Whatever was inside, she hoped it was better than what was outside.

Instantly as she hurried into the building, Grace’s hands came up to shield her eyes. It took her a minute to get used to the light. It seemed like a life time since she’d last seen artificial lights and the power of them made the back of her skull ache. When she was finally able to squint around the room, she noticed how bare it was. The inside of the building contrasted with its exterior. The lobby was spotless in comparison to the front lawn. Everything was straight lines and stark colours. No blood, no gore, no bodies. One minute they were slowly being surrounded by walkers - the dull moans seeming to come from all sides, the buzz of flies against their bare skin, the air heavy and thick with the smell of death choking them - then next, a rush of clean air whooshed out through the glass doors. Grace shivered. She honestly shivered.

“Air conditioning.” She gasped. For the first time in weeks she felt her body temperature dropping, her arms breaking out in goosebumps. The building had air conditioning. This was heaven.

“Hello!?”

“Close those doors. Watch for walkers.”

Rick nodded as Shane tried to secure the doors as best as possible. As Rick slowly crept further into the build, the rest of the men stood guard at the glass doors where the walkers hoard could be seen still slowly approaching.

“Hello?” He called again, voice echoing in the empty room. There were no footsteps, no dragging, no shuffling, no groans. It seemed as if they were entirely alone except for the sound of their own breath. Everyone was panting hard from running inside.

The sound of a gun cocking snapped them all into focus. A man stood near the elevator doors wearing a plain grey t-shirt. He seemed to hold the weapon awkwardly, making Grace wonder how long the man had had the weapon in his possession. “Anyone infected?” He called out.

“One of our group was.” Rick answered honestly. Grace frowned, was it really safe to tell a man holding a gun that one of them had been infected? What if he simply chose to shoot them all to stop the risk of them hiding something? The tension in the man’s neck seemed to confirm Grace’s worries but when Rick continued with, “He didn’t make it,” the stranger relaxed a fraction.

His next words were hurried, “Why are you here? What do you want?”

“A chance.” Rick huffed out. He seemed to be using the last of his air to talk. Grace made a note to check on his side when they had a moment of downtime. They had run out of bandages between him and Merle and were improvising with boiled rags. She was constantly worried about infection.

The stranger slowly lowered his gun, “That’s asking an awful lot these days.”

The officer nodded, “I know.”

It was a stare off now. The stranger’s eyes moved from one side to the other. His eyes flew across the faces in front of him, each one pleading not to be pushed back out there, out into the danger of walkers and hunger. The man sighed, his arms falling to his sides. “You all submit to a blood test. That’s the price of admission.”

“We can do that.” There wasn’t even the briefest moment of pause before the words shot out of Rick’s mouth.

The exchange was quick, “If you’ve got stuff to bring in, you bring it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed.”

That seemed like a fair agreement. This man wanted to make sure they were safe before he let them all the way in. “Who’s going to get the stuff?” Lori spoke the words before Grace was able to. Shane volunteered immediately and Rick spoke up soon after. Daryl looked quickly at Grace for confirmation before he nodded at the two officers. The final volunteer was Glenn. When the four men came back and the doors closed behind them, Grace felt a wave of relief wash over her. This was it, when they got downstairs, there would be a safe place for them. If nothing had gotten in so far, then nothing was going to get in. This was a place where they could sleep without worry.

The man introduced himself as Edwin Jenner and as they descended into the bowels of the building in the large service elevator, he seemed kind. When Daryl challenged him about the gun, Jenner stated lightly that he found it lying around. When asked why he’d brought it, the man teased that he would have to keep his eye on Carl. He seemed friendly. As they descended into the building, Grace smiled and stepped closer to Daryl. It was a large elevator but with everyone packed in tightly, the little corner Daryl had claimed for himself and Grace wasn’t very private.

“Yer smilin’, Carter.” He dropped his eyes, fighting his own smile.

“Shut-up, I’m happy.” She shifted the half-full backpack Daryl had brought. The majority of their things were still outside in the truck. Tomorrow when they were able to work in the daylight they could go get them. It wasn’t safe to bring everything inside when it was nearly dark outside and there was no way to see what they were stepping around. Her mood was so light, she couldn’t help but reaching out for Daryl, even though the tips of his ears turned pink.

“Hands offa him.” Merle laughed, “Yer in public.”

Daryl carefully slid an arm around Grace’s waist and glared at his brother. With his hands full of Grace and the crossbow, he could only make a half-hearted attempt at flipping off his brother. The teasing between the two of them was light though. Being inside for the first time in a very long time made everyone feel a little safer. The majority of them hadn’t been anywhere near a building, let alone in inside one, for weeks.

The relief they felt was shaken when they stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway, only to find no one else there. Down here it was even quieter.

“Are we underground?” Carol asked quietly.

“Are you claustrophobic?” Jenner asked.

The woman nodded, “A little.”

“Try not to think about it.”

“Easy for you to say.” The woman mumbled under her breath and Grace gave her a thin smile. The relief that Grace had felt since entering the CDC building was rapidly fading.

“Where is everyone?” she whispered to Daryl and he shrugged, his eyebrows knitting together with concern.

“Vi, bring up the lights in the big room.” Jenner called out and the room in front of them illuminated with a whirr. “Welcome to Zone 5.” The man nodded back to the group and walked down the ramp toward the huge circle of computers at the centre of the room.

Rick followed slowly behind, his confidence in this man seeming to waver. “Where is everybody? The other doctors, the staff?”

“I’m it.” Jenner shrugged. “It’s just me here.”

Lori shook her head. “What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?”

The smile on the doctor’s face was sarcastic. “Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them welcome.”

The voice that spoke next was clearly not human. The tin-echo of computer generated speech came over the speakers on the ceiling. “Hello guests, welcome.”

“I’m all that’s left.” He stared at the group. “Come on, we’ll go do your blood work.”

The group started moving forward, not voicing the questions Grace could see across their faces. At the back of the group, Merle and Daryl looked over each other’s heads. “This ain’t right.” Merle hissed. “Why’re we trustin’ him?”

“Shut-it.” Daryl pulled against Grace a little. “Would ya rather spend another night out there?”

“I’m starting to think I would.” Grace whispered and both men looked down at her. “I don’t know if I trust him.” She gestured to the retreating form of Edwin Jenner. “There’s something off.”

Merle snorted, “Don’t have to say it twice ta me. Hey, Doc!” He shouted and the doctor came to a halt. “Where the hell did everyone go?”

“Pardon?” He questioned.

“Well I’m thinkin’ ya didn’t run this place all by yer lonesome. Where’d e’erybody take off ta? They all get eaten?”

“That’s what I’m wondering.” It was Shane that stepped forward. “Are we going to have to worry about running into someone and gettin’ chewed on when we get up tonight to use the bathroom?”

“There are none of the infected here if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve made sure of it. Any experiments we did with them were destroyed afterwards to prevent the spread of infection. “

“So did e’erybody else get eaten then?” Merle repeated his earlier question.

“Some of them I suppose.” The doctor offered with the same sense of morgue humour. “When things started getting bad, most people just stopped coming to work. Those that were here when we were told to lock down were supposed to stay put and help with what they could.”

“So all these other doctors, the ones that were supposed to be figuring out what’s happening, where are they?” Shane stood, feet firmly planted with the hand that wasn’t holding his gun on his hip.

Rick shook his head at his friend, “There’s plenty of time for questions after.”

“I thought this was why we came here.” Shane pointed out. “You wanted answers. Go on an’ let the man speak. I wanna hear what he says. Where are the other doctors?”

“If he really is the only one left,” Merle challenged, “How’re we supposed ta know he ain’t like a janitor or somethin’. I ain’t lettin’ nobody stick nothin’ in me ‘less I know it’s safe.”

“Says the addict.” T-Dog snorted.

“I don’t shoot-up!” The elder Dixon protested forcefully. “Wanna come over here and check me out? You can look between my damn toes too for all I care. I’ve gone this far without catchin’ some fag disease and I ain’t changin’ that no ‘cause some queer janitor got his hands on a lab coat.”

“We shouldn’t give blood anyway.” Grace shook her head. “At least not until we get something in our stomachs. No one here’s had anything beyond the muscadines this morning and some deer jerky yesterday. Unless you’re testing for blood sugar or something?” The doctor shook his head.

“I’m with Gracie. Ain’t right the way we’re doin’ things.” Merle nodded. “You got food here, Doc? ‘Cause I’m sure that I ain’t the only one who wouldn’t mind havin’ a full belly. We got kids and shit.”

“A meal would be nice.” Rick tried to look as casual as possible but, as if to emphasise the point, Carl held his stomach.

Just the talk of food was making Grace’s stomach clench painfully. They had tried a few gas stations along the way but they had all been looted. Most didn’t even have garbage in them which meant the people had probably taken the food on the road with them. Daryl had found a few handfuls of summer berries but this late in the season, they were dry and sour.

Dr. Jenner looked from one hollow face to the next and began to nod slowly. “Food first, the rest can wait.” He agreed and Merle gave the group a big toothy grin. “The cafeteria’s this way.” The doctor turned right as the group slowly took in the change of plans and shifted directions.

He showed them to the kitchen which was practically a treasure trove. After eating barely nothing for the past few days, the number of canned goods and freeze dried packages was stunning. Then he opened the freezer, a giant walk in thing with boxes and boxes of food. “All the fresh food is gone.” He looked apologetic. “There’s a whole spice rack though to make things taste a little better.” Edwin Jenner didn’t realize just what he had been sitting on all this time. Grace tried to estimate just how long the group could survive on the store of food but lost count of just how many packages there were.

“Instant potatoes!” Jacqui squealed, holding up several packages from the box sitting in front of her. “And powdered milk.”

“I’ve got enough fruit salad to make me sick of it.” Carol laughed.

Shane was the one who discovered the steak and asked if there was a grill. Thawing them out and covering the meat in BBQ sauce, he stood seriously at the grill, waving anyone away with his tongs if they got too close. Seeing as supper would take a while, Grace and Carol opened cans of the fruit salad and had everybody start with that. There was even a tub of frozen whipped cream that Carl discovered. When everything was cooking and when they at least had something in their stomachs from the fruit salad, Jenner brought out vials and began taking blood samples, starting with Rick. They gave the children a little bit of extra time for the sugar to hit their systems before taking blood from them. Everyone seemed compliant except for Merle who insisted that Grace was the only one allowed to touch him. With Merle insisting on Grace taking his sample, Daryl stuck out his chin and insisted on the same thing. When the doctor took Grace’s sample, Daryl stood directly behind her, glaring the entire time. By the time the samples were all taken and labeled, Lori was passing out plates.

Grace settled with Daryl on her left and Sophia on her right. Carol sat on the other side of her daughter and quietly said grace with the girl before starting to eat. Glenn discovered the alcohol and presented it with flair, pulling bottle after bottle of wine and whiskey from the boxes he had put on a cart from the kitchen. Merle immediately began squirreling away bottles for his own personal use but when Grace gave him a stern look across the table he stopped. He didn’t put his new stash away though, in fact he offered a full bottle to Daryl who was more than happy to take one.

Claire looked longingly at the wine glasses around her and Daryl had eventually grumbled something about how if the girl wanted something, she oughta have the guts to speak up and ask for it. No one seemed to bother saying anything about Claire having some wine, they were just enjoying the evening themselves. Even Lori was already on her second glass of wine when Carl asked, “Mom, can I have some?”

Dale passed Carl’s mother the glass he was pouring her and smiled, “You know in Italy, children have a little wine with dinner. And in France.”

The boy looked up at him mother pleading. “Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then.” She took a big swallow from her glass as if the matter was closed.

Rick laughed, his mouth still have full, “What’s it gonna hurt? Come on. Come on.” The couple shared a look over their son’s head and Lori couldn’t help but break into a smile as well.

Everyone chuckled as she shrugged, and Dale grabbed a spare tumbler to pour a small bit into it for Carl. Excitedly the boy tipped the cup back to have his first taste of wine and promptly scrunched up his face in disgust. “EWWW!” The whole room burst into laughter.

“That’s my boy.” Lori took the cup from Carl’s hand and poured it into her own.

Grace looked at Carol and the other woman nodded her head. Even though Carol wasn’t drinking any wine, she didn’t seem opposed to it. “Do you want to try some, Sophia?” Grace held her cup out to the little girl.

Sophia’s eyes went wide and she looked between her mother and the cup. It was obvious that she was torn between wanting to try it and having her mother’s permission.

Carol smiled, “It’s alright. Have a sip.”

“Go on.” Grace shook it side to side a little.

Sophia took the cup carefully in two hands and dipped her mouth forward just enough to get a little on her lips. Then she took a bigger gulp. Though her face scrunched up as much as Carl’s, she wasn’t quite as vocal. Shivering theatrically, she passed the glass back. “It gives me goosebumps.” She announced, holding up her arm in demonstration.

“You two just stick to soda pop.” Shane smiled at the children, chuckling under his breath.

“Not you, Glenn.” Daryl pointed an accusing finger across the table and leaned back.

Glenn sat a short distance away contemplating a bottle of wine. “What?” He jumped up, shocked to be addressed by Daryl.

“Keep drinkin’, little man.” Daryl squinted dramatically, apparently imitating Glenn. “I wanna see how red yer face can get!” Grace lightly poked him in the side but Daryl didn’t seem to care. The jab was all in good fun after all.

“OH!” The chorus came from around the table at the challenge and Merle grinned toothily at the Asian. “Go on boy. Bottoms up.” He held up his bottle, implying that Glenn should do the same. Nervously, Glenn held up his bottle as well and when Merle brought the glass to his lips and threw his head back, Glenn imitated. When the younger man came up gasping for air, Merle was still going. Finally, Merle dropped the bottle down, smiling hugely across at the group and wiped his mouth, belching loudly. “That’s good!” He whooped.

Rick tapped his fork against his glass. “Seems to me that we haven’t thanked our host properly.” He smiled at the doctor who was sitting a short ways away. He’d eaten as well, but by himself and very quietly. He had barely spoken since getting their blood samples.

T-Dog raised his glass of wine, “He’s more than just our host.”

“Hear, hear!” Came the chorus from around the table.

Daryl stood and threw his arm into the air, tightly clenching his bottle of Southern Comfort in his hand. “Here’s to you, Doc. Booyah!” He took a large swallow.

“Ya can say that again!” Merle laughed and leaned back for another gulp of his own.

Around the table, glasses were lifted and Jenner gave a small smile and raised his own glass to take a sip of wine. He seemed subdued in the face of all the praise. Maybe it was just him being shy, having not been around such a boisterous group in a long time or maybe he knew what was coming next, but Edwin Jenner didn’t seem like a talker.

“So when you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?” Shane swilled the alcohol around in his glass staring pointedly at the doctor. “I think it’s about time we got those answers you promised us. Don’t you think?”

“Shane.” Rick warned, “We’re celebrating. We don’t need to do this now.”

“I think this is the perfect time to do this. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? Food, shelter, safety,” He smirked, “an’ answers.”

“Shane.” Lori hissed. “Don’t.”

“We’ve got the other three, Rick.” Shane kept going. “Now, how about those answers?”

Jenner spoke suddenly as if he wanted to cut the arguing short, “When things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted.”

“Fat lotta good that did anyone.” Merle muttered, Grace stretched out her leg and tried her best to kick him under the table, just skinning his shin. He looked up quickly and slammed his mouth shut.

“Every last one?” Shane looked down at his plate, playing with the last of his mashed potatoes.

“No,” Edwin leveled his gaze. He spoke evenly, almost coldly. “Many couldn’t face walking out the door. They- ” He paused searching for the right word, “opted out.” He almost smiled at his own joke. “There was a rash of suicides.” He clarified. “That was a bad time.”

“What about you?”

“I just kept working.”

“No family?” Merle pitched in, wincing as Grace caught him again in the leg. Daryl frowned down at her and she just shrugged.

“My wife and I worked here together. I made her a promise that I’d keeping working as long as I could.”

An unspoken thought traveled quickly around the room. Jenner had been married. Jenner had a wife. Jenner no longer had a wife. Jenner’s wife was gone. Dead? Suicide? One of them? Whatever the answer, the conversation seemed to end there.

Everyone slowly cleared their plates and Jenner gave them the all-clear to run through a load of dishes in the dishwasher. Then he led them down a hallway pointing out rooms where they could sleep. “Most of the facility is powered down, including housing, so you’ll have to make do here. The couches are comfortable but there are cots in storage if you like.” He turned to the boy and girl walking directly behind him. The children it seemed, were the only ones not to notice the sadness of the man. Everyone else was giving him a wide berth. “There’s a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. But don’t plug in any of the games. Or anything else that draws power. Same applies.” He gestured to the group at large. “If you shower, go easy on the hot water.”

Everyone stopped in shock.

“Hot water?” Glenn laughed.

T-Dog’s grin split his face, “That’s what the man said.” The two play wrestled to see who would be the first to get to the shower.

\---

Merle had chosen an office next to the one Grace and Daryl were sharing and set his things up next to the couch. He was sprawled out over the plush grey fabric, having taken four pillows out of storage when everyone else was getting cots. Grace looked at him casually tucked under a blanket and reading a paperback with his bottle wedged between the back of the couch and his hip so it didn’t spill.

“Alright, your turn.” She greeted him. “I just checked on Rick and he’s doing fine.

He looked up with a grin. She could smell the alcohol on him from here but he didn’t seem to be doing too badly holding himself together. “Lookie here, it’s Gracie Carter.”

Grace smiled at him and shook a first aid kit that she’d gotten from Dr. Jenner in his direction. “Edwin’s got enough bandages that we won’t need to use scraps to wrap it.”

“It ain’t that bad no more.” Merle held up his wrist, most of the chaffing was starting to fade, but the jagged black scab that marked where he tried to cut his hand off was still there. “Can’t you just leave me be for tonight?”

She sighed. He was stubborn; she had to give him that. Anyone else would have been showing signs of pain at least, but to Merle it was nothing more than a bug bite. If she didn’t give in to his request to be bandage free, she was in for a fight. And at least the CDC wasn’t like camp where everything was filthy. “You’ve taken a shower already?”

“Can’t cha tell?”

Merle was right. It had been a rhetorical question. Though he stunk of booze, Merle no longer smelled of stale body odor. She took his wrist carefully in her hands and turned it left and right. It would probably be alright uncovered for one night so long as he didn’t leave the room and didn’t get anything in it. “Tomorrow,” she stared, making sure to be staring right at him. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get anything in it at all tonight. You can’t leave this couch, not even to pee.”

He chuckled a little bit at that and nodded. “Cross my heart. The damn bandage itches somethin’ fierce. It’ll be nice ta sleep without it.”

“Only you would complain about the bandage more than the cut that nearly lost you a hand.”

“I didn’t get that deep.”

“Luckily.”

“Who’s lucky?” Daryl stood in the doorway, still nursing half a bottle of Southern Comfort. “Got the bed set-up an’ the shower’s free.”

“OH! Hot water,” Grace looked down at Merle’s cut. “Nowhere out of this room.” She insisted and he nodded. “Okay, I’m coming.”

Merle snickered and Grace swatted at him.

\---

The water was hot. That was all she could think as she stripped down, her reflection obscured by the fog on the mirror from whomever had taken the last shower. Daryl stepped behind her, pressing his bare chest against her back, his hands sliding down her hips. “Hey, I thought I was getting clean.”

“You heard the Doc. We’re supposed to save water. Best way I can figure of doin’ that is showerin’ together.”

She smiled, turning to face him. “Oh really?” Grace caught her fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth down to hers. Still holding his face close to hers, Grace reached down to the bottle between them. Daryl was getting very close to drunk and she wanted to catch up. Passing the bottle back and forth between them, they finished the last three inches. Each mouthful they took was punctuated with sealing their lips against some part of the other. Grace’s teeth, tugging slightly on Daryl’s earlobe. His tongue light against her neck, stubble burning and followed by teeth.

“Hurry up. I figure someone else probably wants the shower. We best go quick.”

“I wish we had more time.” Grace sighed, pulling back and setting the empty bottle on the counter. “I want to have sex.”

Daryl groaned, the sound coming straight from the pit of his stomach. “Damn it woman. Don’t go tellin’ me things like that.”

“It’s true.”

He shook his head. “Ain’t gonna happen. Ain’t it too soon after...” He gave her a soft look, his eyes squinting down at her and his face scrunched up with worry. “We can wait. Jus’ ‘cause we’re here now don’t mean we gotta... you know.”

“I’m fine. If we go slow then I’ll be fine. I want to have sex with you.”

Daryl brushed the hair out her eyes and brought his face close to hers again. “Not here, then.” Gently his pressed his lips against hers. “When we get to bed. Too sloppy in the shower. ‘Nother time when we ain’t being so careful.”

“I guess.” She was disappointed for the wait but knew it was probably for the best. After all, Grace was well aware of just how little time they had in the shower before someone else wanted their turn. It wasn’t nearly the time they needed to make sure everything went smoothly. Grace ran her fingers down his stomach and to his belt. “Let’s get washed up then so we can get into bed sooner.”

With the second bottle of Southern Comfort sitting on the shelf, Grace and Daryl enjoyed their shower as much as possible with their limited amount of time. They had barely gotten soaped up and already the first inch and a half was missing from below the neck of the bottle.

Soap on her skin felt amazing. It was one thing to wash in the quarry in the water that made her think of fish swimming by her toes, but to have the steady pressure of clean water raining down on them and more soap than they could use, it was heaven. Daryl allowed her to wash him. Her fingers ghosted across the ridges of his skin and left a trail of bubbles in their wake. He was strung so tightly, that she could almost see him quivering. Every inch of him fighting to restrain himself. Not wanting to risk destroying him completely, she stopped short of washing him below the waist. As hard as he was, she wasn’t willing to be responsible for him cumming before he wanted to and becoming angry with himself.

Daryl almost seemed relieved when she stopped, sighing through his clenched teeth. Grace turned slightly away from him, grabbing the shampoo and washing her hair. If she watched him, it would only make him more frustrated. Finally she heard his breathing return almost to a normal pattern and he slid her aside so he could rinse off. As he stood under the spray, he reached for the bottle they had brought with them into the shower and took two quick mouthfuls. Then he offered the bottle to Grace. She took another gulp and he let her under the water to rinse out her hair. He was at her with a washcloth almost the second her hair was rinsed, one arm snaking around her waist to hold her tight to him. Grace laughed, leaning up to kiss his chin and down his neck.

“Stop it, Carter.” He grunted, obviously trying to focus on her shoulder blades.

“Hurry up!” Grace insisted. Her belly was full of good food and alcohol, her body was relaxed. In the pit of her stomach a warm contented feeling was growing and she wasn’t sure if it was the result of Daryl slowly and painstakingly working over every inch of her body or if it had something to do with how much she had to drink already.

Washed completely and eager to get to their own room, the couple shut off the water and towel dried as quickly as they could. Grace slipped into a loose nightgown she hadn’t even thought of wearing at the camp and Daryl pulled a pair of sweatpants over his erection. He gathered together their dirty clothes and carried them in front of his bulge, like a high school boy embarrassed by the spontaneous reaction of his own body. Luckily they saw no one in the hallway and made it quickly into their room. Daryl pushed the door open and shoved Grace, taking her by surprise and nearly making her fall as she stumbled over her own feet.

He threw the clothes to the floor and practically devoured her mouth, yanking her hard into his body and crushing her against the doorframe. As he began to slow, panting and resting his head against hers, he stopped. “We don’t got nothin’.”

Grace smiled. The panic and disappointment that had crossed his face was priceless. It was the look of a small child being told that Santa and the Easter Bunny were in fact, not real. “There were condoms in the first aid kit.”

Daryl’s face lit-up and he sprung away from her to where they had left it on their couch. Realizing that she would probably only be free for a moment, Grace turned to shut the door and lock it. Daryl was behind her before she even had a chance to turn back around. He ran his fingers down the centre of her back, tracing the curve of her ass as he reached it and slowly taking hold of the nightgown to slide it over her head. Grace helped him free her of the fabric and pushed lightly on his chest.

“On the bed.”

He nodded, rubbing his cheek against her. The alcohol was kicking in and he was becoming more and more malleable. They stumbled toward the bed, collapsing against it. Daryl dropped the condoms beside him and settled Grace against his chest. Slowly he pulled her down to his mouth, licking at her lips to gain entrance. When she was relaxed enough against him to suit his tastes, Daryl rolled her over and began working south. He nipped quickly at her breasts, licked his way down her stomach, tickling at her ribs lightly in a way that reminded her of just why she was willing to spend every remaining minute of her life with this man. When he finally reached the apex of her thighs, Daryl looked up for confirmation before parting her folds and starting to lap against her clit. Her fingers began to tighten in the sheets as he slowly and carefully worked her, one hand holding her down to the mattress, the other between her legs teasing. Finally Daryl slid a finger inside, curling it upwards in long slow strokes and her world tipped a little on its axis.

He worked at her, slowly and carefully, until finally she threaded her fingers in his hair and yanked hard. He followed her physical instructions and brought himself back up to eye level, “You good?” Grace nodded. He rolled them back over then, positioning her legs on either side of his. “You set the pace.”

“Okay,” she leaned down and kissed him quickly before allowing him to help her onto her knees and balance above him. Their hands were shaky, too much alcohol playing a role. She stroked his hip slowly, fingers working closer to his cock until finally they just brushed him. Daryl hissed, body twitching and grunted in response to the touch. Taking him firmly in one hand she guided the tip to sit against her opening. Slowly, she had to remind herself. Inch by inch she sank down, trying to keep her balance as he filled her. Daryl steadied her by bringing his rough palms to rest against her hips, guiding her into rhythm. Already she was starting to pant. Her palms rested firmly against his chest, pressing down to help her keep her balance as she rocked against him. Underneath her, Daryl smiled, his mouth hanging half open.

“Yer so pretty,” he slurred and Grace dropped her mouth to his, their tongues meeting sloppily, halfway past their lips. His right hand slid off her hip, pushing between their bodies to add extra friction. “Come on Grace,” He panted against her mouth, rocking hard up into her. She dropped down, seating him deep inside and twisted her pelvis against his hand. She let out a small whine just as she was getting close and Daryl grinned against her neck, doubling his efforts of pushing up into her and working her with his fingers. As the fire grew in her stomach, Grace felt her muscles tighten, “There,” Daryl sighed, “Jus’ like that. Good girl. God, Grace, so good. Yer so fuckin’ good.”

And she lost it, clenching tightly around him as she dropped her hips, pushing him deeper than he was before, and whimpering as the waves crashed over her. Daryl rolled them and repositioned himself pausing for a moment to kiss her slowly, sliding his tongue against hers and nibbling light on her lip as he pulled back. He rocked experimentally a few times. “You good?” Grace nodded, unable to find her words. Instead she brought her hands to clench against his shoulders, giving her leverage to find his rhythm again. “Fuck, Grace!” He grunted, working hard as he braced himself above her. His hair was falling into his eyes and he was covered in sweat, but Grace couldn’t help but think of how perfect he looked. She ran her hands down his back, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him close. With a final grunt, he jerked against her, pushing inside her deeply and dropping his head to her neck. Slowly he rolled them back over so she could snuggle against him. Daryl held her tightly to his side and flopped down on his back.

“Yer amazing, Grace. Honestly fuckin’, amazing.” He turned, mumbling words she couldn’t make out against her skin.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

The bed was warm. The light was bright. Daryl was swearing.

"God fuckin' damn it!" There was a loud thump and something scraped across the floor. "Can't deal with this shit!"

"Daryl," Grace cracked her eyes the slightest bit. Her body was stiff, her head was pounding, and between her legs ached. It had been a good night even though most of it was a blur of Daryl's body rubbing up against hers, under her, above her, in her. Right now, whatever was happening, she just wanted to be asleep with Daryl beside her and her hangover as white noise in the background. "Just be quiet and come back to bed. We'll sort it out in the morning."

His head snapped around, eyes rolling wildly. Daryl stood in the centre of the room, buck-naked and raging. The armchair that had been pushed out of the way for their cot was turned at an awkward angle. He stood in the middle of their dirty clothes breathing hard through his nose, chest heaving, and fists clenched. "It is mornin', Carter."

"How can you even tell? There are no windows in here."

"There's a clock on the wall, right there."

It was true. A clock with long thin hands was ticking just above the frames that lined the walls. "Seven isn't morning. Come back to bed. I'm tired and a little hungover. Just get the light and come crawl into bed with me for another hour." Grace patted the mattress beside her, but Daryl shook his head frantically.

He bent down and picked up a box off the floor, chucking it across the room so it landed on his side of the bed. "Can't sleep after that."

Grace looked down. The box lying beside her was the box of condoms that she had brought to bed last night. Sneaking a hand out from under the covers, she picked it up. "Well if was so bad, we could always try again." She was trying to joke but Daryl's expression was stormy.

He thrust a finger toward her, stabbing the air. "Take a good look, Carter. What'd you see exactly?"

She flipped the box over, looking for the expiration date. They were still good for another three months. "I don't get it."

"Try again."

"Daryl, these aren't expired, they're fine. There's three months before the expiration date."

"It's nine months from now I'm worried about." He sighed, sitting down heavily on the couch. He slumped down, elbows on his knees, hands holding his head up. He furiously rubbed his palms into his eyes and looked up at her from between his fingers. "That box ain't even open."

Grace's eyes flew open as she turned the box to the top. She hadn't even been paying attention to the condition of the box when Daryl tossed it at her. Her head was too fuzzy. "Shit."

"Yer tellin' me. How many times we fuck last night? Two? Maybe three? E'erythin' after dinner is sorta hazy ta me." His face fell to his hands again. "D'you even know how soon it's possible to get knocked up after... that?"

She sighed, everything she knew said that you needed to use some form of birth control as soon as you started having sex if you didn't want to get pregnant again. The chances were slim but she'd have no clue how the pregnancy and miscarriage affected her cycle and she had no way of figuring it out until she started getting her period again. If they were going to play without protection, this was not the time.

"You've got no clue, do you?"

"It varies." She tried to be as vague as possible, hoping to ward off some of his frustration.

"God damn it!" Daryl smashed his fist down on the arm of the couch. "Shoulda known this was gonna happen. How could I be so stupid?"

"Daryl," Grace pulled herself up in the bed. Her head was suddenly throbbing. "We were drunk. It was a mistake. A stupid mistake, but a mistake. It'll work itself out. There's a good chance I won't get pregnant."

"And if you do? Do you think Doc out there knows how to deliver a baby? Man barely seems to know where his own ass is at. And what if things don't work out again? I've heard you talkin' with Carol. It ain't always just once."

"Daryl."

"No!" He reached down and grabbed his pants off the floor, standing up to yank them on. "I ain't doin' that again. No kids."

"Not ever?"

"Never!" He swore, pulling his shirt on over his shoulders, not pausing to button it. He turned toward the door and Grace yanked the blankets up to cover herself.

"Daryl, where are you going?"

"Ta find somewhere I can have a smoke." He shouted at her, slamming the door behind him as he left.

Grace let the covers drop onto the bed and flopped backwards. Her shoulder landed on the unopened condom box and she yanked it out from underneath her. Considering the cardboard box for a moment, she hurled it across the room where it slid behind the couch. She tugged one of the pillows out from behind her head, pressing it to her mouth to muffle her frustrated screams.

Forty minutes later, Grace finally allowed herself to realize that Daryl wasn't coming back anytime soon. He was pissed. She knew she should be just as worried as he was about having kids, but for some reason she couldn't wrap her mind around it. Who knew where her and Daryl would be nine months down the road. Who knew if they would even still be here. Dr. Jenner had given them some answers the night before, but that couldn't be all the information the man had. This was the CDC for Christ's sake, somewhere in this building there had to be some answers about what was going on.

First things first though, she needed to take a quick shower to wash off last night and go check how Merle's wrist had fared over night. The hot water was still beautifully relaxing. She stretched, allowing her spine and shoulders to crack into place and relieve the tension. She needed a good back rub but she didn't see any chance of being able to ask Daryl for one any time soon. There was a growing pile of dirty towels and washcloths in the corner of the bathroom. Somewhere in this building, there had to be laundry facilities. The thought of not having to wash clothes by hand again made her smile. Laundry was one of her least favourite chores.

Grace padded barefoot down the hallway with the first aid kit. Merle's door was closed but she didn't let that stop her. She wanted to get him checked out as soon as possible so she could go about finding something to eat in this place. Grace knocked on the door, once quietly and then a little louder when she got no response. "Merle? It's Grace. I want to check on your wrist."

"Fuh uff," came the muffled reply from inside. Grace twisted the handle anyway, letting herself into the room. Merle was sprawled out on the couch face down in a mountain of pillows. His left arm was hanging off the side, his right arm somewhere underneath him. He squinted one eye open when she walked over to the couch and then squeezed it tightly shut again. "Not ready fer guests. Come back later."

"Nope, I want to get this done now so we can move on with the rest of our day." She might not have had the effort to fight with him the night before, but today Grace was full of extra tension and it just so happened that Merle was the lucky winner who got to enjoy the prize of a cranky Grace.

Merle snorted. "Go back ta bed. Give Daryl a hummer or somethin' and leave me tha fuck alone for a couple more hours." He reached back and pulled the covers up over himself.

Grace stormed over to the couch and with both hands, grabbed the blanket covering Merle. Tugging hard, she managed to get it out of his fingers and she dropped it on his feet. "Get up."

"Jesus," He groaned, rolling over. "Mind takin' yer anger out on the brother yer pissed at."

"Who said I was pissed at Daryl?"

Merle rolled his eyes, "You wasn't pissed at me 'fore ya went ta bed last night and I sure as shit wasn't the one you was sleepin' beside." He pulled himself into a sitting position and held his arm out. "Talk while you work? It'll get both uh these over and done with so I don't gotta listen ta ya no more."

"I don't want to talk about it." She pulled the armchair over to the couch and took Merle's wrist in her hands. It was looking a little red today and the site was definitely warmer. "We should have bandaged this last night." Grace pressed a finger to the scab gently and it cracked.

Merle hissed tugging his arm back. "Le's not go pokin' it."

"It's deep, Merle." Grace sighed. "And I think there's an infection starting. Probably why the bandages were bothering you so much. We'll have to get some antibiotics before it gets any worse."

"Would Doc have some?"

"There was some in your stash but those are well hidden and I'd have to go get them myself." She gave another slight prod at the cut and Merle glowered at her. "I'm going to go get a bowl of water and some salt. We need to soak this."

"Like I'm at a fuckin' spa?"

"Like we need to get that infection out before it gets any worse." Grace let Merle pull his hands back and went to get the things she needed.

When she came back, her arms were full as she carefully tried to balance the jug of water, the bowl, the kettle, and a box of salt. Careful not to drop anything, Grace bumped the door with her hip to get it open. Merle was sitting on the couch bent over his arm, poking at it with his good hand. He'd opened the scab completely and was squeezing out pale coloured pus. Grace's eyes widened. "Merle!" She scolded. His wrist was definitely infected.

"Ya said we wanted to get the infection out." He rubbed it with his discarded shirt from the day before. The wound was still leaking, but now it was more blood than pus.

Grace looked on in horror. "You're going to make it a million times worse. Get your fingers out of there."

He dropped shirt to the side and grinned. "There, all better."

The cut was bleeding freely now but wasn't running green any more. It was the smell of it that frightened Grace though. She could smell the infection now that the cut was opened. Quickly she plugged in the kettle and half filled it from the jug. She opened the first aid kit, rubbed some sanitizer over her hands, and then pulled on a pair of gloves. The skin was much redder now from the force Merle had used to squeeze the wound out, but he did seem to have it emptied. "You better hope you didn't do too much damage." She grumbled. "We're soaking this and then it needs to be bandaged. No more nice nurse."

Merle was in a good mood given his wake-up and how roughly Grace was treating him. He teased her as she supervised him, soaking his arm and then bandaging it. It actually wasn't a bad distraction from thinking about how angry Daryl was over them slipping up and making a little mistake. Grace didn't want it to affect them in the long run. She wasn't ready to toss the option of children aside as easily as he was. His determination wasn't a deal breaker yet, because she knew that if someday she did want a baby, she wanted that child with Daryl. He would be a good father. She knew that. He just needed to settle himself enough to actually explain to her why he was so determined to never have a child so she could convince him whatever he was thinking was stupid.

"Yer quiet, Gracie." Merle was staring down at the fresh white bandage wrapped around his wrist. "What's on your mind?"

Grace blurted out the first thing that came to her mind, "You were never angry at me for being pregnant."

The older Dixon's jaw went slack, eye widening. He stared at her in total shock. "What?"

"You told Daryl that I was using him and that he shouldn't fall for it but you never went off on me. Just him. Why?"

He grunted, turning away from her. "Can't jus' go askin' people questions like that Carter."

"You were mad at Daryl for getting me pregnant weren't you?" Merle twitched. Grace nodded. "Why weren't you mad at me for being pregnant? Would have thought you were the first person to jump on me to get rid of it."

"You've got no clue do you?" Merle's eyes flashed dangerously. Pushing her away from him, he nearly knocked her off of the armchair. "I think it's time you left."

Grace scrambled to her feet, her heart pounding in her ears and panic flashing across her face. The fists in Merle's lap were white knuckled and his good mood was totally shot to hell. Grace had clearly stepped over one of the frequent boundaries covered under the Dixon family coping mechanism of Don't Ask; Don't Tell. She gathered up as much as she could shove in the first-aid kit in an attempt to get out of Merle's space, but it was a hasty job and she missed the majority of what she'd brought to the room.

It wasn't until she was almost out the door in her frantic bid to escape that she heard Merle's voice, as fractured as she'd ever heard it. "I told you before that Dixons weren't meant for nice things." Hand on the doorknob, Grace froze. How was she supposed to tell if this was an offer of more information or just a parting remark? Behind her, the man grumbled. She was just about to pull the door the rest of the way open when Merle spoke up again. "Ya wanna hear this or not Gracie? 'Cause you better close the fuckin' door if ya do."

This was her final chance for escape but she chose to ignore it, curiosity winning out over self-preservation. Slowly she spun around to face the wounded man who was staring down, engrossed in his fingernails. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Better fuckin' be. Now get over here an' listen 'fore I change my mind."

Grace set the first aid kit on the floor and walked slowly back to the armchair, keeping it between her and Merle. If needed, she wanted to be able to make a quick escape. "I didn't mean to..."

"Yah, you did." Merle cut her off quickly. "Yer pissed that Daryl's pissed at you and yer takin' it out on me again even though I ain't been nothin' but good ta ya this mornin' with ya wakin' me up like the little bitch ya is sometimes."

"Sorry."

"Whatever." He grunted. Grace wasn't sure if that was apology accepted or if the situation was being brushed off as not being that serious after all. "Ya can't even comprehend in that pretty little head of yers just how much ya fuck shit up. Don't say yer sorry again, cause ya ain't. Ya fucked with Daryl's life and ya fucked with mine 'cause uh that and ya ain't sorry one bit. Yer fuckin' justified!" He shook his head, scoffing with sarcastic laughter. "Ya know how things was 'fore ya came along? They was a'right. Weren't good or nothin' but Daryl and I took care uh each other, a'rite? Just the fuckin' two uh us and the whole damn world was on our backs tryin' ta bring us down. But you can't take Dixons down easy, see? We ain't built to blow over at the first sign uh a storm. But ya know what wrecked that? You!" He pointed an accusing finger in her face. "Ya fuck with Daryl's head. Keep takin' a fuckin' axe ta e'erythin' I e'er taught him."

"You're saying that like I seduced him or something."

"Didn't ya though? Ya gave him e'erythin' we weren't supposed ta get. Sooner or later, yer gonna take it all away. Girls like ya don't stay with men like us long. Sure ya stuck around longer than most, but one day yer gonna realize..."

"Daryl said the same damn thing and I told him exactly what I'm going to tell you. I'm not going anywhere! I'm stuck with you two nutjobs until either you're dead or I am."

"Don't cha thank I figured that out?" He shook his head slowly. "I don't know how ya do it Gracie, but ya just keep takin' the punches. Ya expect way more outta us then we got ta give. Hell, ya e'en got Daryl thinkin' I can get sober."

"You're tough, Merle. The only thing holding you back from being sober is you."

Merle laughed, loudly this time. "See, yer doin' it again. Yer expectations fer us is too damn high. We ain't perfect, Gracie. Ya gotta see that. Ya gotta stop expectin' us to jump through yer high hoops."

"You seem to have met expectations so far."

"How much longer can that last? This thang'tween you an' Daryl, it ain't built ta withstand too much pressure."

"Are you saying that you think I'm going to bolt when things get rough? Pretty sure I just said..."

Merle held up his good hand to cut her off. "Ain'choo I'm worryin' 'bout. Ya got a good head on yer shoulders. Ya got the sorta face people take pity on. Somethin' happens and there's gonna be someone there ta pick up yer pieces. Dixons ain't so lucky. No one treats us like we're glass."

"None of this answers my question. The way it seems to me, I'm the root of all evil in your eyes. You should hate me."

"No one could hate on you, Gracie, yer too damn sweet." Grace snorted and rolled her eyes at him but Merle ignored it. "It weren't cha I was ever concerned about shit goin' south fer. Daryl's got hisself all tangled up and ya fuck with his head. There ain't no way he's ever gonna be able ta stop thinkin' 'bout ya. No one's ever told us we weren't shit."

"I still think you're shit."

"No ya don't." He was grinning now. "Ya think I can change shit that's been parta me fer a long time. Ya keep tryin' ta make me accountable."

"None of this explains why you got mad at Daryl and not me."

"Ain't cha listenin' ta nothin' I'm sayin'? We ain't made for good shit ta happen ta us. Eventually Daryl's gonna fuck up and git his ass tossed ta the curb. Last thang ya need is a baby ta push that along. He'd crumble under the pressure. Ya'd survive and he'd be crushed. What's he supposed ta stand on when ya went an' smashed through e'erthin' he was usin' ta keep from lettin' people fuck him up in the head? He's the only brother I got, an' I'd appreciate not havin' ta scrape him up off tha pavement. Ya fuck him up an' who's supposed ta be there fer me when I need back up?"

She couldn't help but smile. Merle was talking so seriously about this that he had deep worry ruts in his forehead and had his mouth pulled into a deep frown. "Merle, I'm not kicking Daryl to the curb." She stepped around the armchair and leaned down to kiss the worry line on his forehead. "You both need to stop worrying about that." Merle squinted up at her confused. "I'm not leaving either of you no matter what shit you pull. You're stuck with me for a good long while. We're family." Grace patted his shoulder and he shifted out of her reach.

"Ya gotta stop treatin' us like we're worth it, girl." He was glowering and she bit back a smile. "We ain't worth it."

"Whatever you say Merle. I'm gonna go see what there is for breakfast." It didn't slip past her that he hadn't denied that they were a family. As dysfunctional as their little family was, she depended on her boys just as much as Merle seemed to imply that they both depended on her. He was fighting pretty hard to get rid of her, to have her stop messing with the Dixon wall that he and Daryl had built up around themselves, but the more he fought, the more she noticed things about him that made her want to keep pushing against that wall, hoping to topple it over.

Grace had to wonder if Jenner ever slept. She'd gone looking for him in the office he'd pointed out as being his, but the blankets were folded neatly on the end of the couch and Grace could tell he hadn't been anywhere near this room. There were no empty bottles but when she found him in the main computer room he'd called Zone Five, the doctor stunk of booze. Rolled against the bottom of the long computer panels were two empty bottles of the wine they had been drinking with dinner and a third, half-empty bottle sat beside the keyboard as Jenner typed furiously.

"Morning," she called out, hoping not to startle him, but Jenner jumped anyway.

"Oh," he looked relieved when he recognized her. Jenner's eyes were puffy and surrounded with dark circles. "It's you, um..."

"Grace," she filled in for him.

"Right, Grace. Well, how are you this morning?"

"Not too bad. I was just wondering if I could ask a favour."

He nodded, rolling his chair back to face her. The doctor's arm shot out and snatched the bottle of wine, nearly knocking it over in the process. "What do you need?"

Grace narrowed her eyes with concern. They settled on the bottle. "Are you alright?"

"Just a morning eye opener." Jenner brushed her off. "What were you asking me?"

His voice seemed strong, his words weren't slurring together and even though he was slumped in the chair, he didn't seem to be too unfocused. "Um... antibiotics. You wouldn't happen to have any would you? Ours are all outside and I don't want to make a trip out there before we need to."

"Outside?" Dr. Jenner seemed to flinch, but he recovered quickly. "You could always try the staff lockers. A lot of people kept their things in there during shifts if they didn't have offices. I don't know how much got left behind but it would be your best bet if someone did leave something."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's not too far from the cafeteria. You should be able to find it no problem."

"Alright, thanks." Grace smiled brightly, "Just about to head down to the cafeteria anyway. Going to see what we can pull together for breakfast. I'll stop into there to see what I can find."

He nodded, looking down at his bottle once more. "You can always go through the offices one at a time if you don't find any in there."

She nodded. Hopefully they would find something good to keep Merle's infection at bay. If not, they might have to do an actual amputation of the hand and that wouldn't suit anyone well. What the fuck was Merle supposed to do out in this world with only one hand?

Jenner turned back to his computer, pouring over the data on the sheets again. Grace couldn't help but catch the string of bright red letters. TS-20: INFECTED; TS-21: INFECTED; TS-22: INFECTED. The list of results went on and on. "What's that?"

Jenner snapped around and glared at her. "This is confidential information. I'd appreciate if you left me to my work now."

"Sorry," she backed away. "None of my business."

Whatever he was working on, there were a whole lot of charts and numbers on that screen that the doctor seemed completely involved in. Maybe as he warmed up to them, they would get a bit more information, but for now she had to help get breakfast on the table for everyone and get Merle some meds. Not wanting to offend their host anymore than she already had by reading over his shoulder, Grace left.

T-Dog was already in the pantry when Grace got there. Claire was with him, pointing out the things they could use.

"Morning!" Grace smiled, her concern about Jenner fading quickly. "Making breakfast?"

"It's a treasure trove," Claire nodded, holding up a box of powdered eggs. "I didn't realize just how much food was in here last night. There's a lot of food."

"Like a LOT." T-Dog agreed with the teenager. "We're gonna be livin' high for a while Grace."

Grace looked around the room, really taking it in. Last night had been such a blur. It had been so long since they saw food that they just grabbed whatever was spotted first and made it. Now she could see just how large and well-stocked the pantry was. "That's great. Are we having eggs for breakfast then?" She asked pointing to the box.

"And there's bacon in the freezer."

"Bacon?"

"Beyond your wildest dreams."

Claire filled one of the sinks in the kitchen with cold water and they put the packages of frozen bacon in it to thaw. Then the girls mixed up what seemed to be an unending supply of Tang while T-Dog heated up the grill and added water to the powdered eggs. There was even frozen bread to be made into toast and plenty of margarine to put on it. By the time the first thawed strips of bacon hit the grill, people were slowly starting to come out of their sleeping places and settle around the table for breakfast. Sophia and Carol ate quickly and then volunteered to help feed the rest of the crew. Grace took the opportunity to grab herself a plate and encouraged Claire to do the same.

"Want to come help me look through some lockers after?" She offered to the teenager. "Should be interesting to see what people left behind."

"Yeah, sure. Sounds kinda like fun."

"I wouldn't mind helping either. It'll go faster with more people." Jacqui volunteered

"Of course- the more the merrier." Grace nodded.

"Good morning everyone!" Carl charged into the room. "Is that bacon? I love bacon!"

"Calm down Carl." His mom scolded, settling into a spot at the table.

Jacqui stood and poured the woman a cup of coffee. She set it down gently in front of Lori and smiled, "Looks like you could use that."

"And some aspirin too," Grace turned to see Dr. Jenner walking into the room holding out a bottle. "Grace was talking about antibiotics this morning for the man of yours that's hurt, but I figured that you could all probably use some of this as well."

"Why do you need aspirin?" Carl blinked around confused as several of the adults reached for the bottle at once.

"Hangovers little man." T-Dog laughed bringing another pan of eggs to drop into the serving dishes they had set out on the counter. "It's God's punishment for people drinking too much."

"Your dad probably has one." Lori told her son with a chuckle. She seemed tired but she hadn't reached for the bottle. "Not quite sure what time he came to bed but it was well after we did."

"Maybe he stayed up with Shane." The boy offered and his mother's face turned dark.

"I don't know what Shane got into last night." Her mouth was a firm line and even Carl seemed to know better than to question her anymore.

Grace figured it was time for a bit of a distraction from the talk of hangovers and Shane, and quickly suggested that Carl serve himself some breakfast. Lori gave Grace an appreciative nod. Claire cleared the table while Grace helped the boy get food and when they returned to the table, her and Jacqui were ready to go. The doctor pointed them in the right direction and soon enough they found themselves standing front of the doors to the changing rooms.

In the middle of the two locker rooms was an office with the roll-up shutters locked. The women's was on the right and the men's on the left. Luckily the key was in the lock on the office door and they let themselves in easily enough. Claire found the light switch and they were lucky enough that the box of keys on the wall was labelled with bright red, three inch letters. Each of the little keys was on its own labelled hook and the men's and women's keys were divided on separate sliding panels. The panels slid out of the cabinet easily enough, which meant that they could be brought right into the room with them.

"Men or women first?" Jacqui gestured between the two. "Personally I'm leaning towards the women's. Men never have anything interesting. "

"Yeah, but if I were leaving a building, I'd go get my purse first." Grace pointed out. "And the majority of my interesting stuff would be in my purse."

"So men's then." Jacqui nodded, pulling out the panel of keys for that changing room.

They left the office taking both sets of keys with them so they didn't have to stop in between. When they pushed open the men's room door, something scraped across the floor behind it. Several of the lockers were open, their contents spilled across the ground. The thing behind the door was a Blackberry with a shattered screen.

"Someone is probably missing this." Grace bent down and picked it up. Everyone she knew who had a Blackberry was practically addicted to the thing.

Jacqui shook her head. "They probably aren't hon."

Suddenly, the phone felt heavier. Jacqui was right though. If whoever owned this phone was still alive, then there was a lot more they would miss than just a Blackberry. Grace cleared her throat, "We should start at the first locker." She pointed to locker number 0001, "We'll move on from there. Any pill bottles you get, show to me so I can decide if they're useful or not. Claire, do you want to sort through the stuff on the floor? That should go quickly."

The teenager shook her head. Claire stood just outside the change room, holding the door open. "That's some man's stuff though."

"It's alright." Grace reassured. "They left all this stuff here."

"What if there's like, guy stuff in there?" Claire was blushing now, her cheeks and neck bright red. "I don't want to..." she stopped talking and bit her bottom lip. "Can we just check the girls' please?"

"Would it make you feel better if we started there?"

Claire nodded.

Grace looked at Jacqui who shrugged. "Alright then." She set the phone down onto one of the benches. "Over to the women's. We'll have to come back though if we don't find what we need over there."

Claire nodded again. "Thank you." The girl mumbled, hanging her head. She was embarrassed, more so that she'd made a fuss than that she would have to go through a stranger's possessions. That thought was so outside of her realm of experience that she didn't know how to react to it. She just knew that the thought of touching some man's things made her uncomfortable, but it was asking for something for herself that really made her blush. She wasn't used to speaking up at all and Grace was proud of her. It had taken this long for Claire to start finding her voice even with Grace's constant reassurance that it was alright for her to speak her mind. The upbringing she had endured was hardwired through her brain and it made it difficult to get her to speak up.

"No problem." The women's changing room was even more ransacked than the men's. It definitely seemed like a lot of them had had the exact thought that Grace assumed: 'If I'm leaving, I'm taking my purse with me.'

Since there was more stuff on the ground, they started sorting through the debris there. In drifts on the floor were the remains of the final evacuation of the CDC: forgotten keys, extra clothing, garbage that had probably been cluttered in lockers for weeks before anything happened, romance novels with covers featuring flowing locks and heavily muscled arms, a single blue Nike shoe that someone had probably paid a lot of money for in the good days. None of this stuff was what they were looking for and they swept it into room's showers to be sorted through later. They separated the purses from the junk and went through them one at a time.

A couple of bottles of generic pain killers, a few packs of Halls, some gum, and three containers of TicTacs later, they still hadn't found any of the medications that Grace needed for Merle. They switched to the lockers, each taking a handful of keys from a section and starting to open them one by one.

"I've got one." Jacqui held a bottle over her head. Grace moved quickly to take the bottle, only to be disappointed to find that although it was a prescription bottle, the pills inside were estrogen pills, probably for someone suffering from menopause symptoms. Trying as much as possible not to embarrass Claire, Grace calmly told Jacqui that it wasn't what they were looking for and returned to her locker.

They more they searched, the less time it took to go through a locker. Chewing gum and tampons weren't that interesting anymore and they weren't nearly desperate enough to want to use other people's deodorant. All the lockers were starting to look alike.

"Find anything?" Grace said to Claire as she went for another handful of keys. The panel was on the bench behind the girl and Grace must have startled her when she spoke so close to her because Claire jumped as if she'd been stung, dropping what she had been looking at in the locker.

"Nuh-no." She stuttered, closing the door quickly. "There's nothing interesting in here."

Grace raised an eyebrow, looking quickly behind her, she saw that Jacqui was distracted with flipping through a paperback novel. "What is it?" She smiled at Claire, the blush was back. The teenager had obviously found something she thought she wasn't supposed to have.

Slowly Claire dropped her hand from the door and it swung back open. The girl might have been embarrassed but she was used to following orders.

"Claire, you don't need to show me."

"It's just silly." She frowned. She reached into the locker and tugged at the side of a gym bag. Inside were what had probably been the street clothes of someone who worked at the CDC: a pale grey button up blouse with white flowers, a flouncy black skirt, and on top of both of those, a pale pink lace bra.

"It's pretty." Grace reached for it and Claire stepped aside quickly, completely avoiding the hand. The fabric was soft and the lace wasn't the type that was uncomfortable. "It's a nice bra. Is it your size?"

"I think so."

"You should take it. Whoever's it was, they won't miss it."

Claire giggled anxiously. "What would I do with it?"

"Wear it?"

"It's not exactly me." Claire kept looking at the bra, her fingers just close enough not to touch it.

Grace put her hand over Claire's, pushing them down to the bra. "Try it on." She winked. "In the bathroom." The teenager nodded, her hand clutching the lace and padding tightly. She pulled it free from the gym bag and held it to her chest. Her whole face was lined with worry but Grace smiled gently and pushed her toward the stalls.

"Where's Claire going?" Jacqui wondered.

Grace brushed it off. "Just trying on some clothes she likes. The girl barely owns anything."

"She needs something nice to wear." The other woman agreed. Then she held up a small orange bottle. "Is this what we're looking for?"

Daryl and Merle were sitting at a table eating breakfast together when Grace brought Merle the meds. "Two now." She offered the little white pills to him and he swallowed them without question, chasing them with a mouthful of coffee. "I'll give you more tonight."

The older Dixon pouted but nodded obediently, turning back to his plate to shovel more food into his mouth. Daryl didn't look up at Grace. He was holding his fork dangerously tight and Grace felt her eyes beginning to prickle.

Glenn was still moaning and holding his head at the table while T-Dog kept trying to force food into the man even though he looked about as green as someone could get without actually throwing up. "Get him a bucket." Grace laughed, "If you're going to feed him, he's going to lose it before too long."

"I feel like shit," the Korean groaned into the tabletop. "Never let me drink again."

"Me too." Rick shook his head. Lori was holding out the bottle of aspirin she had opened for him and he grabbed it frantically.

"Is there still coffee?" Jenner was back, where he'd gone was a mystery to Grace but she suspected it had something to do with the computers he was working on earlier.

"In the pot." Carol nodded, "Do I need to put on more?"

"Nah, looks like three or so cups in here." He began pouring the black liquid into his mug.

"Doctor," Dale interrupted. "I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing..."

"But you will." Jenner didn't seem like he minded too much if he was asked questions at all. Patiently, he turned to the group, sipping his black coffee.

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Andrea added bluntly.

Jenner sighed and took another sip of coffee, "You should all probably come with me then." He walked out of the room without any pretense. The group glanced between them and without speaking, seemed to agree that it was best to follow him. Daryl slid up behind Grace as she walked next to Claire who was wearing the grey top over her new bra, still slightly flushed from the excitement of it.

"Didn't mean ta make ya pissed at me." He whispered harshly in her ear.

"Should have thought of that before you freaked out." She shook her head.

Daryl squinted at her, "I don't wanna fight over this Grace."

"Me either. It was a mistake and we'll talk about it after. Okay?" She slid her fingers down his wrist, locking their hands together.

He licked his lips but nodded. "After." Daryl gave her hand a tight squeeze, pressing his sweating palm against hers.

Before everyone had gotten situated around the screen, Jenner was calling out to Vi to pull up video footage. The screen blipped and the outline of a face and shoulders appeared on it, the centre of the skull a glowing mass.

"Is that a brain?" Carl piped up, the first one to speak.

Jenner nodded, "An extraordinary one." He looked away. "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for an EIV." The computer rotated the image and began to slowly zoom in on the cranial cavity of the body on the screen.

As the scan moved from an outer view to an inner view, Shane spoke up, "What are those lights?"

"It's a person's life. Experiences. Memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light – is you."

"Is that true?" Daryl hissed.

"Yes and no." Grace smiled at her nervousness. "Your brain only lights up like that to show how the impulses travel. You can't see lights on your brain."

"So it ain't like Christmas in my head?"

"Not at all."

He nodded and turned back to the giant screen. "Whose head is that?"

"Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. Test Subject 19." Jenner's eyes were locked firmly on the screen, his gaze never wavering.

"This person, they died?" Andrea whispered. Grace could already see her putting Amy's face over the brain on the screen. It would be a good long while before every walker wasn't either Amy or the one who attacked her.

"Vi, scan forward to first event." A pop-up on the screen raced quickly through the footage to show the brain being invaded by what appeared to be like a black spider web.

"What is that?" Glenn seemed disgusted, which may have been in part because he was still sick from his hangover.

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shut-down, then the major organs. Then death."

"How similar is it to meningitis? Would it be possible to treat it with an aggressive antibiotic treatment?" Now Grace was squinting up at the screen rapidly running through possible treatment methods. If they had been able to get Jim pumped full of antibiotics and the wound really cleaned out after it happened...

Jenner shook his head, "The majority of the bites contain so much bacteria that it would be next to impossible to destroy it all. The infection spreads too quickly." He looked at her seriously, "A lot of the bites are serious enough that bleeding out is a bigger problem than treating the infection."

"What about amputation if the bite is in a place where that's possible?" Amy. Could they have cut off Amy's arm if she hadn't been bitten in the neck and bled out?

"We never tried it, but you'd have to consider the trauma of an infield amputation. The removal would have to be immediate."

"But it might be possible." She challenged. "If we could deal with the infection after?"

"How would you survive without a foot or an arm though?"

"Grace!" Lori scolded and tipped her head to Andrea who was crying now. "Are we forgetting something?" Lori looked at the doctor, "She lost someone a few days ago. Her sister."

"I lost somebody too." Jenner offered. "I know how devastating it is." He turned back to the screen, seeming to know that Andrea wouldn't be comforted. "Scan to the second event." The pop-up appeared again to fast forward to the spot in the footage that Jenner had requested. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We've had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we've heard was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds."

A spark of red lit up the brain, so different than the pulsing ripples of blue the screen had shown before. There was nothing left of who this person had been. The only thing that remained was the physical body and whatever it was now controlling it.

"It restarts the brain?" asked Lori, clearly not understanding what she was seeing. Could she not tell there was nothing that remained of this person or was she simply hoping that there was?

"Just the brain stem," the doctor corrected. "Basically it gets them up and moving."

Rick stepped forward, "But they're not alive?"

"You tell me." Jenner widely swung his hand to the screen, opening the floor up for comments.

"It's nothing like before." Rick observed. "Most of that brain is dark."

"There's nothing about that brain that's living human anymore, is there?" Grace asked.

The doctor nodded, "Even if you were able to find a way to stop the infection from spreading, if the patient died there would be no way of preventing reanimation without destroying the brain. You can't reverse death."

The body on the screen twisted, jaw moving frantically, and the tip of a gun barrel appeared. Just seconds later, a jagged hole formed through the skull and the body stopped moving.

"God!" Carol gasped. "What was that?"

"He shot his patient in the head." Andrea offered, her voice stronger now. This was exactly what had happened to Amy. "Didn't you?"

"Vi, power down the main screens." The blue glow lighting the room dimmed as the screens went completely dark.

"You've got no clue what it is, do you?" The blonde was challenging now.

"And less of an idea what we could do to stop it." Grace added. Daryl let go of her hand and slipped his arm around her shoulders instead, protectively pulling her into his side.

"For all you know it could be the wrath of God." Jacqui blurted before covering her mouth with her hand.

"Somebody must know something."

"There are other facilities, right?"

"The French held out the longest. We haven't had transmission in weeks. Everything went down. Nothing in, nothing out. There could be dozens of people like me, holding on, shouting into the dark. Or there could be no one. I didn't think there were survivors out there until I saw you. I've been in the dark for almost a month"

"So there's nothing anywhere. That's what you're really saying?" Andrea's voice was sharp, bitter.

Nothing. It echoed around them. Nothing. No hope, no people, no rescue. No UN movement was going to swoop in and save them. They were alone.

"Could use my stash right about now Gracie." Merle muttered.

"We should just get shit-faced drunk," Daryl pushed away from Grace, face covered by his hands. "Again."

"I don't mean to be rude and I know this has been taxing for you," Dale pressed to the front of the panicked group. "But what about that clock. It's counting down. What is it counting down to?"

"That's how much longer we have until the basement generators run out of fuel."

"And then?" Rick pressed.

Jenner didn't look at anyone, he just slowly wandered off.

Not getting any answers from their host, Rick turned to the computer. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."

The group broke into a panic, but no one seemed to voice the most important question. "Vi!" Grace shouted over the din, "What does decontamination mean?"

"In the event of a complete power failure, HITs will be deployed."

The noise settled, everyone wanted to hear these answers. "What are HITs?"

"High-impulse theromobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive, except nuclear. The vacuum pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5000° and 6000° and is useful where the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."

"Grab him." Grace shouted and Merle reached out his uninjured arm to grab Jenner as he walked by.

"Ya best explain yerself Doc." He gave him a little shake for good measure, steering him toward the centre of the group by his shoulders.

"Do you know what we do here? The sort of things we work with? There had to be some way to make this place safe should anything happen." The doctor was shouting at the man holding him, but Merle didn't take any of it. He smacked the man on the shoulder and Jenner crumbled. "We can't do anything about it. The process has started."

"We're leaving." Daryl grabbed Grace, tugging her by the arm.

"I agree." Rick nodded at Lori "When that clock hits zero we need to be as far away from here as possible. Go get your things."

Everyone bolted for the exits as Jenner called after them. "This is what you're looking for. Don't you understand, there's no hope, no peace out there. It'll be a slow painful death. Stay. It will be peaceful, no pain. Just holding your loved ones as the seconds count down."

"I'm taking my chances out there." Shane shook his head, "Come on, Rick! We gotta get everyone out."

"The topside is locked down. The power's been rerouted away from there since early this morning." Jenner offered.

"We've still got to try."

The crowd moved swiftly, fleeing for the offices to collect their things and move them back up the elevators. Grace got to the room she and Daryl had been sharing and frantically shoved everything into the duffle bag he brought in from the truck. Daryl paced anxiously by the door, cradling his crossbow. "Go to the kitchen with Merle and grab some food. There's got to be bags to put it in that we can carry. GO! When we get out there, we'll need something to eat."

He nodded and turned back to the hallways where Rick and Shane were herding people out of their rooms and toward the staircases. The elevators, like many other things, weren't working anymore. Grace grabbed the first aid kit she'd used to treat Merle. It was heavy but worth the extra weight and they would need the extra medical supplies. Who knew what they were looking at when they got topside? At least the uncertainty of death was a better option than sitting and accepting death.

She was just about to zip the duffle closed when Grace remembered the box of condoms she had tossed across the room when she first woke-up. Dropping to her hands and knees, she reached under the couch, her fingers closing around the box. She pulled it free and dropped it onto their dirty laundry and the still damp towels. Eventually she hoped that Daryl would forgive himself enough to try to use them again, that time sober.

"Is everyone here?" The group gathered in the main entrance way. The room they had been so excited to find just the night before was now was their prison, even the elevators had stopped working and they had to use the fire escape.

"Where's Andrea?" Dale asked. "And Jacqui?"

"Are they still downstairs?"

Dale looked from Shane to his watch. "We've got twenty minutes. I'll go down and get her."

"I'll come with," T-Dog stepped up. "Help you carry some more stuff up."

"We still need to figure out how to get out of here." Shane looked around the group. There was no just prying those doors open.

Merle picked up a chair and swung it around, smashed through the glass of a fire safety box. Reaching among the shards, he freed one of the axes inside and tossed it to his brother, taking the second for himself. "If we can't get 'em open. I say we go through 'em."

Rick nodded, "See if you can find any more. There's probably another on this floor at least."

The sound of metal on bulletproof glass skipped across the room as Merle and Daryl started pounding on the window with the axes. Nothing seemed to be making a dent though. Both Dixon brothers were single minded in their determination to get out of the building before it blew up. When the axes seemed to fail, Merle picked up the chair he had first used to break the glass case and smashed that into the window a couple of times for good measure.

"How much time do we have now? Does anyone have a watch?" Lori looked around the group. Grace almost laughed, how simple it would be to use Dale's watch now, but the elderly man was nowhere to be seen. There were still no signs of Jacqui, T-Dog, or Andrea either. The missing people from their group left a hole.

"Last I saw it was about ten minutes on the clock."

"T," Rick sighed with relief then looked behind the man into the dark stairwell. "Where's the rest of them?"

"Jacqui won't come with. She wants to stay."

"She's..." Lori's eyes swelled behind her husband.

T-Dog simply nodded.

"And Andrea? Dale?"

"Dale's trying to convince her to come with but she's pretty worked up over Amy." He lifted his large shoulders noncommittally. "How goes getting out of here?"

"Not well. There's got to be some way to get out. We need something with enough force to get us through that glass." Rick shook his head bemused as to what they could do.

"I think I've got something." Carol pulled on the zipper of her purse.

"Carol, I don't think a nail file is gonna do it." Shane shook his head at her. "Down people." He aimed his gun at the window. Everyone dropped to their knees and Shane fired. The bullet left a pockmark in the glass but didn't break it.

"Why won't the glass break?" Sophia cried, clutching the backpack her mom had passed her. Claire stepped toward the little girl and wrapped her arms around the girl. She patted Sophia's hair as the group watched Carol play with her purse.

"I found this in your pocket when I was washing your clothes." The admission was extremely brave of her. To so openly admit to stealing something from their leader when Carol was usually so timid, showed a lot of courage. Her jaw was set, waiting to be challenged and willing to receive it. Whatever she had was obviously worth the scolding she thought she would get.

Rick stared at the round ball sitting in Carol's outstretched palm. Rick reached out for it, taking it without hesitation. "You kept this hidden?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, I think it's just what we need."

"S'that a grenade?" Merle cocked his head. "The pig brought a live grenade inta camp and lost it but he won't give me a gun because it's too dangerous? Seems like a double standard you got there Officer Friendly."

"Shut-up." Shane shouted, shoving Merle.

"Both of you stop." Rick's voice was deadly calm. "Everyone down the steps."

"What?" Lori sputtered.

"Down. The. Steps. NOW!" He shouted the last words and pushed his wife toward their son.

Lori clamped onto the boy and dragged him with her down the stairs. Carol wrapped her arms around both Claire and Sophia, forcing them into the dip at the bottom of the stairs. Both Merle and Daryl reached Grace at the same time. One shoving and the other pushing, they forced her into the alcove by the doors. Shane tugged Lori and Carl behind the service desk. T-Dog flattened himself against the floor, hands over his head with Glenn close beside them.

While all this was going on, Rick sprinted across the room and stared down at the little explosive in his hand. Seeming to second guess the choice, he paused for a fraction of a second and then pulled the pin. The grenade fell off Rick's fingertips, rolled away from his feet, and Rick turned, seemingly shocked that he had actually pulled the pin. His mouth formed a perfect O as he jumped down away from the tiny ball of power.

Tucked underneath Daryl's arm, Grace watched the officer slide across the floor and dive down the stairs in slow motion. Merle was wedged in beside them, Grace sitting probably uncomfortably on his leg.

"Head down." Daryl nudged her face into his chest, trying to cover as much of her as possible.

The explosion seemed almost silent at first. The air heated and there was a feeling of wind before the sound came. As loud as it was, her hearing cut out and was replaced quickly with a ringing sound. Grace didn't even hear the window break.

"Up, up, up!" Shane's shouting was the first thing she could clearly hear. The faint ringing still covering up most other noises.

"Gotta go sweetheart." One of the brothers helped her to her feet, pushing her in front of them.

Everyone began crawling to their feet, retrieving their bags from where they'd been abandoned. There was now a hole in place of where the window had been. Daryl bent down to scoop up an axe from where it had fallen. His hands gripped the handle firmly as he shifted his crossbow. "Dunno what we're gonna run into out there."

Shane dragged Lori and Carl toward Rick as the other man was pulling himself up off the floor. "You alright, man?" Shane knelt beside Rick, brushing the debris off him. The four stumbled to the window. Carol was pulling the two girls to their feet. Everyone raced to grab the bags and headed toward the hole to the outside. The heat was already building outside. Shane hopped out first with Rick following. As Shane kept guard, Rick began helping people out of the building. One by one, they passed the bags down and scrambled while trying to avoid broken glass. The explosion had attracted several walkers and Merle and Daryl jumped out ahead of the group to help keep them at bay.

Dale, Andrea, and Jacqui still hadn't appeared.

Even as the group ran for the vehicles and dodged the walkers and bodies, everyone kept glancing over their shoulders hoping to see their missing group members. The smell seemed even more powerful after the clean air inside the CDC, but there was no time for stopping now, only getting as quickly away from the building without losing anyone.

Grace pulled open the back of the truck and threw the bag she was carrying into the back of it. Daryl tossed a second one in beside her that held the food he and Merle had brought up from the kitchen.

How much time did they have now?

Rick brought his family to the RV, Shane, Glenn, and T-Dog clamoring in after them.

"Get in the back, Gracie." Merle insisted. "You ladies too." He nodded at Carol, Claire, and Sophia. Daryl and Merle helped the women into the truck before tossing their bags in after them. "We'll wait out the explosion here."

"An' hope like hell we all make it.

It was a tight squeeze in the back of the truck when Merle and Daryl pushed in as well. Daryl shook the blankets out and threw them to Carol. "Wrap one uh those around yer girl. Anything comes in here that's small, we can hope it won't do too much damage." He moved closer to Grace, pulling her onto his lap and pulling a blanket around the both of them gesturing for the rest of the truck to do the same. Under the blankets and unable to see anything, they waited.

It wasn't a long wait.

The ground trembled as the first underground explosions shook the road. The wave of heat and power shook the truck. Grace clamped her teeth together; they felt like they were going to shake right out of her skull. Even with Daryl's arms around her, she felt like she was free falling. The explosions kept coming- tossing debris and ash against the truck, shaking the ground, burning up the air.

When the rumbling died down to a dull roar, Daryl pulled back the blanket. "We best get on the road."

Across the truck, Merle nodded, "Let's go 'fore that 'ttracts too many more." He hopped out first, holding his axe tightly. There was no one around.

"Look," Claire whispered, pointing toward the wreckage of the building. "Dale and Andrea." The pair was pulling themselves up from behind the sandbags they'd used as shelter.

"They made it." Grace smiled.

"Well we ain't gonna when every walker in the area starts a'walkin' this way." Daryl pushed her gently toward the truck. He reached into her pocket and tugged out the keys. "I'm drivin'."

"Does that mean I get my bike back?" His brother looked excited.

"Unless you wreck somethin'." Daryl glared, tossing the bike keys over.

As everyone settled back into their vehicles, one person less, they felt the pressure of their time in the CDC.

No hope. No home. No future.

They were alone in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's Season One posted. It took me far longer than I wanted it to to get this all up here. Here's to hoping that I can get caught up with posting Part Two How Bright Their Frail Deeds and have myself caught up everywhere.


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